basements | Adventures in Cheeseland

Sgt Stripes: You’re probably wondering why I called this council.

Snoops: Definitely. There’s nothing going on to talk about.

Angel: Life is much more peaceful without the small humans.

Sgt Stripes: That’s true. But there are so many fewer treats being handed out.

Gypsy: He’s right about that. I heard Mom tell our human brother that she’s probably going to cut down the number of treats she orders from Chewy.

Snoops: She can’t do that. You know how hard it is to get something back in the budget after they cut it out.

Angel: She might forget what we really like.

Sgt Stripes: We definitely need to protect the treats, but that’s not why we’re here.

Snoops: Then why are we here?

Sgt Stripes: Do any of you read the blog? Our blog?

Snoops: Of course I do. Kommando and I rescued it from obscurity. We’re the ones who hired the mice and tightened the focus. All animals, all the time.

Sgt Stripes: That’s great. But when was the last time you were featured? Bet you can’t remember.

Gypsy: What’s your point, Stripes?

Sgt Stripes: It’s been a long time since anyone got an update on what we’re doing.

Angel: What did you want to tell them?

Sgt Stripes: Well… we got new windows at the end of May. They’re pretty nice, but then it got really hot and we couldn’t open them.

Snoops: That’s right. Now it’s cooled off, and the windows are still closed.

Gypsy: Mom says that’s because there are no cats on the main floor when she goes to work. That’s also why she doesn’t need as many treats. Morning Treat Time went from 4 cats to zero cats for a while.

Angel: It was really hot.

Snoops: And the basement is nice and cool. I can’t believe they don’t have air conditioning. Mom says it’s because it’s an old farmhouse and isn’t set up for it. I think she just doesn’t want to pay to get the house updated.

Angel: It is really nice in the basement since they sealed it up last year. No more smelling like mildew or walking through muck.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know why Mom felt deserted. You never left, Gypsy.

Gypsy: Yeah, but you know how I am. I pick a spot and pretty much don’t move for a couple of months. I really like the new kitchen window. So, I’m not really doing cuddles at the moment.

Angel: I’m becoming really attached to my spot in the basement.

Snoops: Me too. We’ve even got our own litterbox. I’m upstairs more than Angel. She only shows up for breakfast. Doesn’t even stick around for morning treats.

Gypsy: It was actually kind of nice being the only one upstairs.

Sgt Stripes: I got bored being downstairs all the time.

Angel: Exactly what is your new routine? It seems like you’ve disappeared from downstairs.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t really like it down there except when it’s really hot. There’s no place soft to sleep. I think you ladies will move back upstairs when it gets a little cooler.

Angel: What do you think, Snoops?

Snoops: He’s probably right. It’s pretty cold down here in the winter. And we have the house to ourselves most of the days.

Sgt Stripes: I’m getting the treat schedule back on track. I’m sleeping with Mom so I’m getting morning and evening treats again. You guys are on your own to make sure you don’t miss out.

Gypsy: I thought you wanted to talk about the blog. Why are we still talking about treats?

Snoops: Yeah. This is cutting into my naptime.

Angel: Are we looking for things to write about?

Sgt Stripes: Yes. But it has to be about us. Enough cute bears and hedgehogs.

Gypsy: We could tell them about the great flea scare.

Angel: Yuck. Who wants to hear about fleas.

Snoops: How about our new window seats?

Gypsy: You mean the ones nobody uses?

Sgt Stripes: I know! Mom’s doing fall cleaning this week. We can help!

The other cats nod in agreement, happy to be at the end of the meeting.

The cats have been having a rough few days. At least they think so.

Gypsy: I can’t believe Mom deserted us for three nights last week.

Sgt Stripes: My special treats were totally messed up. I have Mom trained to do it a certain way.

Gypsy: Worse than that. Angel thinks she can boss me around when Mom’s not here.

Sgt Stripes: I think she’s made some kind of pact with Snoops. Every time I see Angel, she hisses at me.

Gypsy: She’s just rude. Ignore her

Sgt Stripes: Mom does a really good job of keeping the peace. She shouldn’t be allowed to leave us. Where was she?

Snoops: Don’t you guys listen at all? She was having a sale at her uncle’s house. She needs to get rid of all the stuff so she can sell the house.

Sgt Stripes: I forgot. I liked him. He was always nice to me when I was outside.

Snoops: He was really nice to Kommando and me too. He played with the red dot with us.

Gypsy: That’s sad. Did they sell all of his stuff?

Angel: I think they must have. Look at the stuff that came here. It’s all over the dining room.

Snoops: Mom says that they still have to sell the stuff in his basement. He has all kinds of tools and electronics stuff and kitchen supplies down there.

Gypsy: But she won’t have to stay overnight anymore right?

Angel: I hope not. Those little humans were pretty good about feeding us, but the cuddles were definitely missing.

Onyx: I think you guys are out of luck. I heard Blondie say something about Mom going to Denver next week for work.

Snoops: That can’t be right. She doesn’t travel for this job.

Onyx: I dunno. Blondie said she was dropping her off on Wednesday and picking her up on Friday.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google says that means she’ll be gone for two overnights. She can’t do that to us! Things haven’t gotten back to normal yet.

Snoops: Well, a lot of that has to do with the strange men that keep coming over.

Gypsy – Yeah. They’ve blocked off the basement. That was my escape when the rest of you were annoying me.

Sgt Stripes (hurt): You don’t mean me, do you?

Gypsy: No, you’re okay. But certain other cats get pretty territorial sometimes.

Angel: Only when you get into my territory.

Gypsy: At least I have a nice high perch. It’s even better than the mantel or china cabinet. It has Cat TV.

Sgt Stripes: So who are the men?

Snoops: You know how Gypsy kept coming upstairs with orange paws and getting it everywhere?

Angel: She was pretty disgusting.

Gypsy: That’s because there was orange water in the basement.

Sgt Stripes: More like orange sludge.

Snoops: Whatever. The humans need to get some plumbing work done in the basement. But before they can do that, the orange stuff has to go.

Sgt Stripes: I heard something about mold too. I know what that is, but Mom’s allergic to it. She’s really excited it’sai going away.

Angel: I don’t really mind the men. They stay downstairs and don’t make too much noise.

Onyx: Sometimes Sarge or I will watch them from the upstairs windows. .

Sgt Stripes: They’re not very interesting. They just carry stuff in and out.

Gypsy: I hope they’re gone soon. And I hope they didn’t take my hiding places.

Snoops: You know the plumbing guys have to come back, right?

Gypsy: They’re okay. They don’t keep me out of the basement.

Sgt Stripes: Why are we still talking about the basement? We have to do something about this Denver thing. I don’t want Mom to think she can just leave whenever she wants to.

The rest of the cats nod in agreement.