Tag Archives: Humor

27

Fall Back and Get Ready for Nap Time

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Greetings fellow felines! This week is the end of Daylight Savings time here in the US. It’s the final sign that fall has fallen. If you’re like us, winter is the time for snuggling on electric blankets and hanging out on the humans. We thought we’d share some interesting stuff we found out about cats and sleep.

Cats sleep for about 2/3 of our lives – Young cats sleep about 16 hours each day, and older cats sleep up to 20 hours per day. Our main activity as wild cats was hunting which takes a LOT of energy. So we adapted to spend a lot of time storing up energy for the hunt and recovering from it.

Cats can snore – One of the previous cats here snored so loud, the humans could hear her across the room. Some breeds are more likely to snore (e.g., Persians, Himalayans), but a lot of times it just depends on the position we choose to sleep in. If our airway becomes partially blocked by our soft palate, we will snore. Generally, if we are snoring, we are really relaxed.

Cat experience REM sleep similarly to humans – REM stands for rapid eye movement, and it’s named that because of the way our eyes move behind our eyelids. It happens when we are in deep sleep. And it is a sign that we are dreaming. A lot of times our eyes and ears will twitch when we are in REM sleep. Studies have shown that we dream about 30-40% of the time we are asleep.

The weather can affect how much we sleep – Cats generally sleep more on wet, dreary days. Of course, there’s not much else to do when the weather is yucky.

Cats can go partially to sleep – We are far enough asleep to get rested, but alert enough to notice smells or sounds. When we’re in this state, we can wake up almost instantly to get away from danger. And of course, we are able to fall asleep easily in almost any circumstance. We can even sleep with our eyes open! (Or partially open.)

We sleep in a variety of positions:

The crescent – This is the most common position for kitties. You curl up on one side with your head bent towards your feet and your tail tucked in. It protects your tummy and keeps you warm. Because you feel safe, you can enjoy a nice, deep sleep. If we get too hot, we may relax a little and just sleep on our sides with our paws more relaxed.

Sheltered – Every cat loves a good box. Or drawer. Or nest of blankets or sweaters. We like sleeping in sheltered spaces because it keeps us safe from predators. Or toddlers.

Tummy Up – A cat who sleeps tummy up is a happy cat. You’re exposing your most vulnerable spots, so you trust your surroundings and are fully relaxed. Cats are more likely to sleep this way in the summer because it is a good way to cool down.

Loaf-Shape – We’ve all turned ourselves into a loaf at times. You’re upright with your paws and tail tucked it. It’s an excellent way to conserve heat in cold weather. It’s also good for protecting your vulnerable spots and being able to spring into action at a moment’s notice if there’s a threat.

Pretzel-Like – You know the position. You’re kinda  twisty with your paws going different ways. Cats do it when we’re relaxed. Your tummy is usually exposed and it’s hard to move quickly out of it. Humans think we’re super cute because they can’t bend that way.

Hiding our Face with Our Paws – We sleep like this to protect our eyes and nose. It also keeps out noise and light. It’s really comfortable. And we look really cute sleeping this way.

Sitting Up/Laying Flat – Yep. We can sleep in a sitting position. And laying flat on our stomachs. And pretty much any position in between. And we’re comfortable. Humans are very jealous of this trait.

Cuddle Puddle – A lot of like to sleep with fur siblings or humans. If we’re willing to sleep with someone, it’s a sign of deep trust and affection. Of course, sometimes, we sleep with others to stay warm.

Having said all of this, we are off to find a good spot to relax.

19

Sing Us a Song, You’re the Piano Cat

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       Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes! I was going to make a post on the hassles of being an “administrative assistant supervisor”, but I want a few more weeks of purrfecting my skills before I go into that. So I decided to take a page from my cousin Thunder’s book, and do a musical blog. Except, instead of Christmas songs, I decided to reformat Billy Joel. Blondie listens to him a lot. He’s pretty good. But my lyrics are better, and I’m really excited to share them with you! (I wanted to rewrite every song. Blondie said no, that we’d be here well past nap time. So I selected my 10 favorites.) 

“Uptown Girl”– renamed “Uptown Cat”

“Uptown cat! I bet she’s never had to hunt a rat!

I bet she’s never had to slide on by, and steal a fish from some random guy!

I’m gonna try for an uptown cat!

She’ll be furry, and pretty, and black. She’ll be used to high luxury. And down feather beds on which she sleeps.

And then she’ll leap.

And when she’s purring, she’ll say that she’s mine.

And when she’s defurring, she’ll be so divine.

She’ll see I’m not so tough, just because I’m in love with an uptown cat!” 

“Vienna” 

“Calm down you crazy cat.

You roll so much that your fur has mats.

But then if you’re so groomed, tell me why are you still so scruffy?

Where’s the brush, where’s the nail clippers? You better find them now so you can fix your furs.

You’ve got so much to lose, and you don’t want to have to be shaved.

But you know when the truth is told that you can get what you want or you can sit and yowl.

You’re gonna kick off and scratch the human badly too. When will you realize, Vienna isn’t for you?

“You May be Right”– renamed “I’m Always Right” 

“Friday night I broke your vase

and Saturday I smashed your cake

and Sunday came and all I did was nap.

I was only having fun!

I wanted to lounge in the sun.

But the humans kept yelling and I stayed awake!

I’ve been stranded with some grumpy humans,

I feel a sense of settling doom and now I am annoyed and upset.

I will twitch my tail and hiss! T

he humans will give me a kiss!

And it’s all because they don’t want to play!

I’m always right! Just deal with it. Even when you are annoyed with me, you are wrong. Don’t try to fight!

I’m cute, I’ll win this.

I’m always right, you’re always wrong,

and life goes on.” 

 

“My Life”

“Saw a bag with my human, it had a new coat.

It was warm and furry and quite pristine.

He set down the bag and I wanted to take a look.

I decided the coat was bought for me.

I don’t need you to worry about me at night!

I’ve got this lovely coat to snuggle with.

It’s not as great as cuddles with you, but oh well!

This is my life and how I choose to live! I

never wanted you to spoil me with luxuries…

I never demanded the best things in life…

Don’t get me wrong, I deserve them all! Y

ou must give them to me, so I stay happy!”  

“Only the Good Die Young”- renamed “Only the Good Lie Down”

“Come out Onyx, don’t let me wait!

This nap is planned to take all day.

Sooner or later you’ll come out and play.

And then we’ll be best friends…

They got you a pillow, got you a bed.

Got you a nice place to lay your head.

But my bed is better than your bed, you and I could have fun…

only the good lie down!

That’s what I said… only the good lie down, only the good lie down.

You might have heard that I jump and I purr really loud.

But I’m a large kitty and of this I am proud.

I might be playing a bit too loud.

But that never hurt no one.

So come Onyx cat, show me a sign.

Send up a signal. I’ll throw you a line.

You can chase and pounce and jump on mine.

The things that we might have done…

Only the good lie down!”


“Why Should I Worry”

“One day I’m outside the house.

Then the next I’m upstairs inside.

I went from eating voles and a mouse, to getting kibble and silvervine.

I said ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, I’m street smart, with a big heart.

I said ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh,

I’m street wise, and that is how I survived!

Why should I worry? Why should I care?

I have a human, he’ll take care of me here. Why should I worry?

Why should I care? I’m a spoiled kitty, and everyone is aware.

The rhythm of the farm house, oh once you get it down, you will be a king cat, you can wear a crown!

Why should I worry? Why should I care?

I have a human, he’ll take care of me here. Why should I worry? Why should I care?

I’m a spoiled kitty, and everyone is aware.” 

“The Entertainer”– renamed “Big Time Hunter”

“I am a big time hunter!

And I know just where to pounce.

I’m mastered at getting voles, I’m working on a mouse.

Today you won’t go hungry. Because I got a kill.

But I gotta go out and I gotta shout my hunting cry, and then I’ll sigh when I’m back in the house.

I am a big time hunter. The nip has nothing on me.

I am going to be successful as a hunter kitty. I

’ll go out to the garden. And get some juicy bugs.

And I’ll bring them to mom with a joyful song and I will not care when she fluffs her hair and lets the bugs run on the rug. 

“Big Shot”– renamed “Big Cat”

“Well, you arched your back and you hissed at me, and fluffed your tail up too.

You thought you’d act so big that everyone would be afraid of you. A

nd you growled and mewed and hunkered back, trying to act scary.

But just know that everyone thinks that you’re a sweet kitty cat.

You had to be a big cat, didn’t ya, trying to scare off everyone? You had to be a big cat, didn’t ya, oh your tail is so fluffed up!

You had to have the last hiss last night, so much fun to be around.

You had to have the bright hot spotlight, you had to be a big cat didn’t’ ya? Ohhh.”

“Scenes From an Italian Restaurant”

“A bottle of milk. A bottle of cream.

Perhaps a bottle of the finest tuna juice, please.

We’ll get a table near the stream so we can catch fresh fish and sleep curled up, nice and warm…

a bottle of milk, a bottle of cream.

Some fresh catnip would be nice this evening.

We’ll curl up nice and warm on the table near the door, in our Italian restaurant. 

“River of Dreams”

“In the middle of the night. I wake from my sleep.

Having the urge to get some freshly cooked meat.

I go stalking and searching. My tummy rumbling loud.

I try to wake my human. But he is snoring loud.

And I stare and I think about how I must get some food…

and then a kibble dish appears in my sight, thank goodness for you! I

n the middle of the night, I wake my from my sleep.

Having the urge to get some freshly churned cream.

I am quite thirsty. After my kibble feast.

But all I can find is water.

This I will have to keep. In the middle of the night!” 

I hope you enjoyed reading my interpretations of Mr. Joel’s songs as much as I enjoyed writing them (my typist would like to apologize to Mr. Joel in advance. I don’t know why. She just doesn’t get it)!

20

Sgt Stripes Makes a Friend

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Hi, everybody! Sgt Stripes here. Guess what! I have two new friends, one human and one feline. I was really lonely last week because my main human went to a place called Italy for 10 days and left me all alone (except for Mom and the new human/cats). I thought I had been deserted

Then one of the new kitties moved upstairs. I guess she was supposed to be locked in one of the bedrooms until the humans had a chance to introduce us, but she escaped. She must be pretty smart. Her name is Onyx. She’s a really pretty black cat. And she smells really good.

She seems kinda shy. We sat together for a little bit one day. The next day, I sniffed her again, and she seemed to get a little offended. She went under the bed. I guess I’m going to have to keep trying to charm her.

I think she might be a little intimidated because I’m a lot bigger than she is. But I’m patient, so I’m sure we’ll be spending more time together soon. She doesn’t hiss at me like Snoops does, so I think she kinda likes me.

I really like her human mom. Snoops says they used to call her Blondie. I don’t really know why. Her hair isn’t blonde. Snoops says it used to be. She’s their human sister, so I guess she’s my human sister now too. Although my main human is her brother. I don’t know. It’s all really confusing to me. For the purposes of identifying her, I guess I’ll call her Blondie too.

She’s the mom to the two small humans. I’m not sure about them. The one seems pretty okay. He comes in once in a while and wants to pet me. He’s pretty gentle. The little one is another story. He is so LOUD and he cries a lot when he’s tired. He scares me. I try not to go near him.

Back to Blondie. She’s working from home now. And she sends the kids away during the day. Snoops says it’s some kind of shelter, and she hopes they stay there one day. I’m not really sure what a shelter is, but Snoops says she used to live in one. Mom says it’s called a daycare, so I’m guessing they’re not allowed to stay there at night. When I told Snoops, she was pretty disappointed.

Anyway, Blondie has been working upstairs since Onyx moved up. And it’s pawsome. She lets me stay in the room with her ALL DAY. And she lets me help her work. She does some kind of medical office job. We talk to patients and work on the computer. The best part is that she does something called Zoom calls. I get to see people on the computer. My brother does those sometimes too. I love Zoom calls.

Yesterday I learned how to schedule patients for some kind of testing. It’s pretty cool. Blondie uses a lot of different computer programs, and I’m learning them all. I already know how to change programs and shut them down. Pretty soon I’ll be really good at this stuff and ready to learn something else. The best part is that when I get cold, she lets me cuddle up with her.

My regular human returned yesterday, so now I have all sorts of options. I can help him with his school work. (He’s in something called grad school. I’m not really sure what that is, but it seems to take up a lot of time.) He spends a lot of time on the computer too. Or I can keep helping Blondie. And of course, I have to spend time with Mom. I don’t want her to feel deserted.

This is so exciting! I don’t even miss the lady cats anymore.

30

Global Cat Day: Some Fun Facts

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Premium AI Image | A group of cats celebrating a special day with party hats surrounded by balloons and confetti

Greetings! Monday, October 16 is Global Cat Day which means that ALL of our readers can celebrate. Don’t confuse it with International Cat Day which was August 8. We’re not sure why there’s two holidays that are basically the same. But we deserve them. We recommend treats, cuddles, and all-around pampering.

Sgt Stripes loves to work with Mr. Google. He has found some trivia to share with your human.

  • Cats are digitigrade. We can walk on our toes.
  • The average weight for a house cat is 6-10 pounds (2.7-4.5 kg). And we average 20-28 inches (50.8-71.1 cm) long. Mancats are generally bigger than the ladies.
  • We can bristle (fluff up) because of tiny erector muscles at the base of our hair follicles. It helps us look bigger when we want to frighten someone. (We have learned that this behavior does not work with human toddlers.)

Moment of Meow

  • We can twist our bodies around because our vertebrae (our backbone) are held together by muscles. Humans have ligaments between theirs which are nowhere near as flexible. That’s why we can stretch and contract our backs. And arch them up to scare off intruders.
  • We don’t have any crushing teeth (like molars in humans). We cut up our food when we eat it, rather than chewing it.
  • Our eyes are extra sensitive to light because of something called guanine. It coats our eyes and lets us see in extremely low light. It’s also what makes our eyes glow.

Why do cats' eyes glow in the dark? | Optimax

  • There are over 100 different cat breeds.
  • We have the largest eyes, in relation to our body size, of any mammal. This lets us see approximately 280 degrees. (A full circle is 360 degrees.) That’s why it’s so hard to sneak up on us. (We also have excellent hearing.)
  • The average lifespan of an indoor cat is 15 years, but only 5 years for an outdoor cat. The oldest cat known lived 36 years.

Why Do Cats Land on Their Feet? | Purina® Canada

  • A cat can jump 5 times as high as its tail.
  • Cats respond more quickly to names that end in the “ee” sound. (We do not know who studied this or really believe it. We do not respond to anything we do not want to respond to.)
  • Cats have over 100 different vocalization sounds while dogs have approximately a dozen. We are obviously more articulate.

  • We purr at the same frequency as an idling diesel engine (approximately 26 cycles per second). We are much quieter.
  • We sleep more than any other mammal – an average of 16 hours per day. (Humans just aren’t that interesting.)
  • A cat’s nose pad is ridged in a unique pattern, like a human fingerprint.

Cats in Japanese Culture and History | KCP International

Cats have been living with humans for thousands of years. There’s some disagreement whether we first joined the hunter-gatherers as companions or waited until humans settled in one place and moved in as pest control. In either case, we are extremely popular these days. These countries have the most cats:

  1. United States – 76.5 million
  2. China – 53 million
  3. Russia – 12.75 million
  4. Brazil – 12.5 million
  5. France – 9.5 million
  6. Italy 9.5 million
  7. United Kingdom – 7.75 million
  8. Germany – 7.75 million (we know it’s a tie with the UK; the computer won’t let us have 2 #7s)
  9. Ukraine – 7.5 million
  10. Japan – 7.25 million

How Cats Tamed Us | The New Yorker

We don’t know who counted the cats. We’ve never taken part in a census. But that’s a lot of cats.

In Istanbul, Cats Are Sacred - Here Are Photos of the City's Cutest Stray Cats

Finally, wanted to give a meow-out to a few places that really love cats:

  • Mykonos Isle, Greece – The island is famous for it’s cats, and every street in the main town of Chora has its own kitty mascot.
  • Rome, Italy – The Torre Argentina Cat Sanctuary has almost 300 cats living among the temple ruins.
  • Istanbul, Turkey – The Stray Cat Hostel is a cat-themed hostel where you can stay free if you add to the artwork. Istanbul is known as a haven for stray cats.
  • Key West, Florida – Ernest Hemingway’s home (now a museum) is home to more than 40 polydactyl cats.
  • Moscow, Russia – home to the Moscow Cat Theater and Cat Temple where you can watch cats perform or visit the 200 cats who live in the temple.

We hope you appreciate all the hard work Sgt Stripes put into his research. And hope you and your human enjoy Global Cat Day!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

A Brief Break in the Action: Cat Jokes

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Pin on Eyes Have It***!

As we told you last week, things are a little crazy around here right now. Our human sister has moved back home with her two little humans. A few days later, she came back with her two cats. So we have five new house members! We are not pleased, but we are adapting.
Mom is really tired. So we decided to give her a break this week and find some jokes to post. That way she won’t have to think. (She says her brain is full right now.)
Smart Cat ! - 9GAG
First, some quotations:
  1. Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. – Anon
  2. There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats. – Anon
  3. Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God. – Anon
  4. I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. – Hippolyte Taine
  5. Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later. – Mary Bly
  6. Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. – Jeff Valdez

25 Pictures of Spoiled Cats that Probably Live Better than We Do! Part II - We Love Cats and Kittens

Cat Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I’ll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!

Author Unknown

Canary? | Cheezburger cat, Funny cats, Funny cat memes

2 cats were looking into a green canary’s cage. The first cat said to the second cat, “That’s not a canary. It’s green!”

The second cat said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s not ripe yet!”

7 Hilarious Cat TikTok Accounts to Make You Laugh | Pawlicy Advisor

What do you get if you cross…

A cat with a canary? – Shredded tweet!
A cat and a gorilla? – An animal that puts you out at night!
A cat with a bottle of vinegar? – A sourpuss!
A cat with a parrot? – A carrot!
A cat with a tree? – A cat-a-log!
A cat with Father Christmas? – Santa Claws!
A cat and a donkey? – A Mewl.

Premium Photo | Singing cats disco of 80s concert of 90s karaoke with kittens abstract generative ai illustration

What is a cat’s…

Favorite song? Three Blind Mice.
Favorite color? Purrrrrrrple!
Favorite subject in school? HISStory.
Favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
Favorite movie? “The Sound of Mewsic.”
Favorite car? The Catillac.
Favorite party game? Mews-ical chairs!
Favorite TV show? The evening mews!

12 Cats Who Are Serious About Reading | Book memes, Book humor, Funny cat memes
Hope you enjoyed what we found! Purrs, Snoops, Kommando Kitty and Sgt Stripes.
Pictures courtesy of Google Images
20

OMC!! Our World is Upside-Down

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Sgt Stripes here. I’m helping Mom type the post, and I am not a happy cat. We’ve been invaded. And apparently it’s of indefinite duration. I’m a very chill dude, and most things don’t bother me. (Although I do wish the lady cats liked me more.) But my furs are totally ruffled.

The blonde woman is here with her two screaming children. And they’re staying in MY room. And they keep bringing more stuff. Pretty soon there won’t be room for me. Of course, I don’t really want to be in there with them anyway. I’m trying to decide whether I should take up residence in Mom’s room (that’s where my cat tree is) or my human brother’s room (it has the best cat TV).

It’s me, Snoops. For once, the man-cat is right. We’ve been overrun. It appears that our human sister is back for a while. And she brought the small humans with her. We were really mad at her when she left, but at least she’s family. The two little ones are just a problem.

They run around the house and make a lot of noise. And they want to TOUCH us. We are very selective about who we let touch us. And the list does not include anyone under four feet tall. And it does not include anyone who screams or cries. (We make an exception when Mom cries – we just don’t let her rub her face in our fur.)

Kommando Kitty here. And they keep trying to eat our kibble. NO ONE is allowed to touch our kibble. Snoops takes care of any mouse who tries. And the big humans yell like it’s going to hurt the kid. We have excellent kibble, and we do not want to share it with a couple of little humans who don’t even understand the proper way to bathe.

Speaking of which – all humans smell weird, but little humans smell extra weird. Apparently they haven’t been litter-trained. So they have that on top of the weird regular human smell. And they eat funny stuff too. Nothing good to share with us cats. I’m really not seeing a lot of positives in the current situation.

Snoops again. And it may get worse. I overheard our human sister saying that she misses “her” kitties. I think she’s referring to the pests who relegated us upstairs a couple of years ago. I certainly hope that she’s not planning on having them visit again.

Sgt Stripes – More lady cats? That would be scary. Although, maybe they would be nicer to me. It would be better than having any more small humans running around.

20

Sgt Stripes: One Year and Going Strong

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Hi, everyone! It’s me, Sgt Stripes. Today’s a big day. It’s my first Gotcha Day. It’s been exactly one year since I traded in my man-parts for a new home. (Technically, it wasn’t a trade. But Mom wouldn’t let me move into the house until I was neutered. Something about not wanting me to mark my territory.) I don’t really understand it. I mean the whole house is mine, right?

Anyway, it’s kinda hard to believe it’s been a whole year. I thought the lady cats would have adapted to me by now. I guess I shouldn’t have chased Kommando so hard that first time. Snoops still hasn’t forgiven me. She hisses whenever she sees me. Sheesh. Talk about holding a grudge. I usually have to take to the high ground to make sure I see her before she sees me.

I miss lying in the sun. But I don’t miss the snow and rain. It is so nice to have dry fur all the time. And I have a couple of really nice window seats. I can say good-bye to Mom when she leaves in the morning. (It’s pretty cool – If I meow when she leaves, she feels badly about leaving me.)

And I live snuggling! The place if full of blankets and quilts and soft spots to nap. It’s pretty much kitty nirvana around here.

I haven’t adapted to wet food. Mom’s tried every flavor she can find. But I really like kibble and treats. (Except fish flavored. I don’t like fish.) I definitely don’t see the appeal of human food. The stuff they’ve given me has been really disgusting. There isn’t much wildlife to catch. I’ve only seen a few mice. No chipmunks or voles. I love my water fountain. It is so much better than drinking out of puddles. And it’s never-ending. Even in the heat.

I have lots of toys too. I have laser pointers and little stuffed mice. But Mom is kind of particular. She has a couple of stuffed hedgehogs that look a LOT like my toys, but she says those are hers. She has a couple of other stuffed animals that are off limits too. It’s really not fair. But she doesn’t really touch my toys, so I guess she thinks it’s fair. Like she never touches my red dot or green dots. And she shares the computer.

I like to jump and climb. There’s an armoire that I can jump on so I’m even taller than my human brother. I use it to survey my domain. And I just discovered the highest place upstairs. There’s a partial wall in the bathroom that goes almost all the way up to the ceiling. (I have to crouch down when I’m up there, it’s so close.) It’s between the bathtub and the human litter box. Some rubber ducks live up there. The other morning, I discovered that I can push the ducks off and they land on Mom while she’s using the human litter box. It was so much fun! She was not amused.

I’m hoping I’m going to get full run of the house soon. I didn’t get to see the Christmas tree last year. I got a little one of my own. Mom wasn’t really excited when I tried to eat it. I can’t wait to see the real thing. I think I’d really like the presents too. And the windows downstairs are bigger too. Hopefully, by next year, I’ll have lots of new adventures to tell you about.   

13

A Gator’s Guide to Hurricane Season

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Featured Animals - American Alligator - CMZoo

The school year had just begun, and Suzy and Justine were going through their backpacks retrieving all the paperwork.

Justine: They need you to fill out the emergency contact forms, Mom.

Adele: What happened to last year’s forms?

Suzy: They expired.

Adele: I’ve given them the same information every year since you girls started school. Why can’t they just use that?

Suzy: Guess they want to make sure you and Dad haven’t killed each other over the summer.

Adele: What else?

Brave the Adventure at Gatorland: A Thrilling Experience in Florida - Truck That Beach

Suzy: They’re looking for parent volunteers for the lunch room

Adele: No chance.

Stan: Do they feed me?

Justine: You can chaperone the fall social.

Adele: Nope.

Justine: Want to bake cupcakes?

Adele: Next paper.

Cheeky alligator crashes students' picnic lunch - and then helps himself to sandwich - Mirror Online

Justine: Are we signing up for school lunches?

Adele: I wish. You girls hate the school lunches.

Suzy: It’s not our fault they serve so much mystery protein. They act like alligators will eat anything.

Stan: Uh. Actually, we’re kinda known for that.

Justine: It’s disgusting, Daddy. My body is a temple, and I want to take care of it.

Suzy: Yeah. If I’m going to eat snake, I want to know I’m eating snake. I don’t want it ground up looking like hamburger.

Adele: You two are princesses. No school lunches. What else?

Firefighter Fights To Keep Pizza, Cookie Loving Pet Gator He's Had For 50 Years - YouTube

Suzy: Our first fund-raiser is selling pizzas.

Adele: That doesn’t sound too bad. What are you raising money for?

Suzy: We need new mats in the gym. Apparently someone ate the old ones.

Justine: Eww. Probably had too many school lunches.

Suzy: Here’s the last thing.

American Alligator | Stone Zoo

Adele: A Gator’s Guide to Hurricanes? What’s that?

Justine: It’s part of the new school safety project.

Adele: It says that alligators can sense when a storm is approaching. When the barometric pressure drops, we can feel it in our skin.

Stan: That’s true. Granny always knows when a storm is coming.

Adele: Your mother swears it’s going to be a hurricane every time she gets an ache in one of her joints. Most of the time, it’s just a thunderstorm.

Stan: Those sensors probably don’t work as well inside.

Suzy: I think we should just watch the Weather Channel like everyone else.

Justine: Or the Weather Gator app.

Alligator crawls out of Mobile storm drain

Adele: It says that when we “sense” a bad storm coming, we should seek shelter someplace we can get into and out of easily. They recommend a storm drain.

Justine: It also recommends heading for the water since we can stay under it for a long time.

Suzy: I cannot stay under water. I’d drown.

Justine: You’re supposed to come up once in a while to breathe. Don’t be a doofus.

Adele: They also say the swamp is a good place to hide. We can submerge there.

Suzy: This all sounds really uncivilized. Why can’t we just head inland?

The Alligator in the Backyard: 5 Things to Include in Your Home Quote - Alliance Insurance

Adele: The brochure says that hurricane season is an excellent time to go house-hunting. Particularly if you live in a neighborhood near humans.

Justine: That’s probably true. Most of them leave.

Stan: I think they’d want their houses back after the storm.

Justine: Yeah. They do usually come back. I wonder why they think we would steal someone’s house.

Stan: Or their belongings.

Can Alligators Climb Trees? - Wildlife Informer

Suzy: I think that brochure is crazy. It also says that we can wait out the storm in the hole of a tree or a cave. It makes us sound like barbarians.

Adele: It does seem a little primitive. Where did you say it came from Justine?

Justine: Let me see what it says.

She flipped the brochure over and looked at the back.

Justine: I found the problem. It was written by a human “for the benefit of my reptilian companions.”

Suzy: I knew it! We alligators are much more civilized.

Nice' alligator dons tux, serves as ring bearer in central Pa. wedding - pennlive.com

We wish all our readers in hurricane territory the best during the storm season.

(Pictures courtesy of Google Images. )

14

Cats and the Weather

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We’ve been reading all your blogs and noticed that some of you have been having really bad weather this summer. We live in Michigan, and, truthfully, it’s been very pleasant. Cooler than usual and not very humid. Excellent lounging weather. Not quite enough sun for superior sun puddles, but no extreme heat or excessive storms.

Scared Cat Meme - Imgflip

Until a couple of days ago. It got really hot and humid. Then we got a HUGE thunderstorm. It woke everyone up and went on almost all night. The next day was really hot. Then another night-time storm. It was really windy, and we lost power for that night and most of the next day. It was really scary hearing all that wind and thunder. We are please to report that things are pretty much back to normal. (Although the humans did nothing to compensate us for the trauma we went through.)

Lolcats - teacher - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

But it did make us wonder. Why don’t humans pay any attention to us cats when it comes to weather? After all, we are much more attuned to nature than they are. If they would just listen…

Why do cats like to carry socks around? - Quora

Of course, humans do have some pretty silly superstitions about cats and the weather:

  • Some people thought that cats carried storm magic in their tails. They had to keep the cats happy so they wouldn’t swish their tails and release a storm.
  • If a cat plays with your sock, a bad storm is coming.
  • If a human is mean to a cat, there will be rain at that person’s funeral.
  • You can end a drought by baptizing a cat in mineral water. (Do NOT try this.)
  • A cat’s tail always points in the direction of the wind.
  • If a cat sneezes, it’s going to rain.

The scent of a feline | Burgess Pet Care

On the other paw, we cats generally do know when bad weather is coming. It appears that we can sense a change in atmospheric pressure right before a storm arrives. We can also use our superior noses to smell rain and feel the humidity change before it rains. There are a couple of things that we routinely do before the weather changes:

Here's Why Cats Groom Themselves

Licking – If we seem to be taking an extra-long bath, rain may be coming. Keeping our fur wet helps cut down on the static electricity it collects due to the change in humidity. We are a lot more comfortable without the extra static. (The humans will be too if they touch us.)

Why Some Cats Like Earwax - Petswelcome.com

Ear Grooming – If we’re being extra careful to clean behind our ears, it may mean a storm is coming. We can feel the change in atmospheric pressure in our ears, and the licking helps counteract the pressure change.

How to Stop the Cat from Yowling or Excessively Meowing. (Blog #93) - NutriSource Pet Foods

Sudden Change in Behavior – Sometimes, we just act a little “different” because we can sense the weather changing:

  • We get a little grumpy for “no” reason
  • We get more vocal (some cats yowl when a storm is getting close)
  • Social cats hide out (they don’t want to be around the noise of the storm)
  • Some indoor kitties try to get out when they sense a storm (looking for a safe place)
  • A calm kitty may suddenly have a burst of “zoomies”

(Of course, sometimes we just act a little “different” because we want to act a little different.)

catloaf - Wiktionary, the free dictionary

Humans have documented all of the following behaviors in their furry friends:

  • Cats becoming agitated and hissing at their human prior to an earthquake or a bad storm
  • Cats becoming very “frisky” before a thunderstorm
  • Cats licking their fur against the grain prior to hail
  • Cats sleeping with all four paws tucked underneath before cold weather
  • Cats sniffing the air obsessively before rain or snow
  • Cats listening obsessively before rain or heavy wind

I think he liked that we put his bed in front of the fireplace : r/WhatsWrongWithYourCat

And finally, people feel pretty strongly that if a cat is sleeping with their back to the fire, expect cold weather, snow or a storm.

Bottom line – We cats know what’s going on. We may just choose to not share it with the humans.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

15

Snoops: A Day in the Life

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Hello Everyone. It’s me, Snoops. Since Kommando Kitty and Sgt Stripes have been writing posts, I thought you might be interested in learning a little bit more about me. After all, I am senior cat and chief defender of hearth and home around here. I am head mouser and Kommando’s protector. Here’s what my average day looks like:

 

Early Morning

Long before it’s light, I’m up and on the job. The early hours are the prime time for mousing around here. The best place to find them is the pantry. They love the chocolate chips and nuts that Mom keeps for baking. She finally got smart and started putting those things in plastic containers, but the mice still hang around that part of the pantry. I also need to patrol the study and dining room on a daily basis.

I usually leave the mice for Mom and Human Brother (HB). They are TERRIBLE hunters. They think it’s a sign of affection, but I really am trying to keep them from starving. Kommando is also bad at hunting; she thinks mice are toys. Everyone once in a while, I’ll snack on one, but the food is pretty good here.

Morning

Eventually, I hear Mom moving around upstairs. I am not pleased that I no longer have full run of the house. I wish they would finish training Sgt Stripes. The last time he got downstairs, I had to bop him on the head to keep him in line. He runs around like he owns the place.

After what seems like forever, she finally comes downstairs. I jump on the table for morning cuddles then wait for breakfast. She found some new food, that is better than I expected. We’d been eating the old stuff for YEARS and were so bored. Then I join her at the breakfast table for more pets and cuddles before work. She’s pretty well trained. Sometimes I have to share the space with Kommando Kitty. Luckily HB is usually there and can do some of the cuddles.

Right before Mom leaves for work, we get treats. Kommando is really pushy, so she always gets hers first. That’s okay, because she only eats them part of the time. So I get double treats a lot of the time. Sometimes HB leaves after Mom, but he works really weird hours so it seems like he’s around a lot.

Days

HB usually goes upstairs after Mom leaves. So I sometimes chase Kommando around a little bit, but most of the time I settle in for a nice nap. This time of year is great because there are a lot of sun puddles. It hasn’t been really hot in Michigan, so it is very pleasant.

Eventually HB comes back downstairs. Usually to work in the kitchen. Mom says he’s a really good cook, but I’m not sure I agree. Once in a while, he makes tuna and shares with us. That’s really pawsome. But most of the time, his food is revolting. Lots of beans and non-meat stuff. If he does make chicken or fish, you usually can’t find it because of the other stuff he mixes in. I always have to supervise; I keep hoping he’s going to surprise us.

Sometimes HB cleans. That’s not much fun. He’s really loud and moves stuff all over. I have to watch my tail. And his feet. He has almost stepped on me. On the bright side, he usually finds missing toys. I don’t really like to supervise cleaning. I usually look for a place to hide. If he doesn’t vacuum, I can nap or play with Kommando. She’s a good sister – not great – but good.

Days are usually a combination of snacking, napping, bird/wildlife watching, playing with or without Kommando, and supervising the human.

Evenings

Mom gets home around dinner time. Since HB cooks, we wait at the table with her. We help her read email and respond to messages. I don’t know how she’d get anything done without us. Between the three of us (Mom, Kommando, and me), we take up the whole side of the table.

We usually hang around while they eat. I’m not sure why. Like I said, most of the food is barely edible. But I don’t want to take a chance on missing something. Every once in a while, there’s a baked fish in the middle of all of the beans and greens. And chicken shows up fairly often. Besides, they’d be lonely without us.

After dinner, we all hang out in the living room. I usually sit with HB, and Kommando sits with Mom. The humans read or do computer stuff. Sometimes they watch TV. I don’t really like TV, but it does leave their hands free for petting. I usually nap for a while.

Nights

After they go upstairs, I’ll nap for a while longer. Then it’s snack time again. Then more napping before it’s time to wake up for another day.