10

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 4

Image result for happy bear

Where we are: Bella Bear is running for student government President at Cats & Friends Academy. She would be the first non-cat to hold elective office at the school.

The election was only a few days away. Each of the candidates had a particular area of interest. The platforms were:

Ellie Calico: Improve Academic Competitiveness

Bella Bear: More Activities for Non-Cat Students

Terry Tabby: More Sports

Geri Ginger: Clean Up the Environment

Marvin Manx: More Community Involvement

Walt Weasel: Weasel Power

Bella and Daphne were discussing any last-minute changes they might need to make.

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Bella: What do you think of the competition?

Daphne: The cats all have good ideas. I really think that the environment is on everyone’s mind.

Bella: So you think Geri is the one to beat?

Daphne: Not necessarily. She has a reputation for being a snob. A lot of the girls don’t like her. Of course, the guys don’t seem to mind.

Bella: She’s gorgeous.

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Daphne: Moving on. Terry probably has the idea that would be easiest for us to pull into your platform. More sports could be read as sports for more types of animals.

Bella: That’s true. As long as it doesn’t look like we’re stealing.

Daphne: You’re right. Our folks should just mention it in passing when they’re out talking to the animals.

Bella: Who’s next?

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Daphne: Ellie. She’s the one who wants us to compete in those “bowls” against other schools on TV.

Bella: I guess we’d be better known.

Daphne: She thinks that if a school is really good, the colleges will notice. Then it might be easier for Academy grads to get in.

Bella: I wonder if she’s right.

Daphne: I don’t know. But it wouldn’t hurt for some animals to study more.

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Bella: So that leaves Marvin.

Daphne: He has a great idea. Setting up programs to get the animals working with the elderly and people in need doesn’t really have a bad side.

Bella: Besides, it really looks good on a college application.

Daphne: Definitely.

Bella: I nearly forgot, what about Walt?

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Daphne: His slogan is, “Cats are weird. Is that what you want?”

Bella: That explains “Leash the Cats” on his posters.

Daphne: I really don’t see him as much of a threat.

Bella: I certainly hope not. That would be awful for all of us. What do you think of my chances?

Daphne: Assuming there aren’t to many haters out there, and that Phoebe and Phyllis have been giving us good advice, I think you’ll give the cats a good run.

Bella: I hope so.

The bears decided that Bella should stay with her message. There wasn’t anything obvious to change.

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On the way home, Bella ran into Walt Weasel.

Bella: Hello, Walt.

Walt: Ready for the big day?

Bella: I guess so. Why did you have to run against me?

Walt: You know everyone doesn’t agree with your hearts-and-flowers view of the world, don’t you?

Bella: I suppose.

Walt: Did you know that orange cat is trying to stir up anti-bear attitudes?

Bella: I didn’t know.

Walt: I’m just trying to fight fire with fire.

Bella: Thanks, I guess.

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Bella walked home in a gloomy mood. There were so many cats. What if Geri got most of them to vote against Bella. There was no way she was going to win without a lot of cats voting for her.

Election Day arrived. The students voted during lunch so the results could be announced before the end of the day. Bella felt like the day lasted forever. She was too nervous to concentrate on anything. Finally, during the last class of the day, the results were announced:

Bella Bear: 29%

Ellie Calico: 24%

Geri Ginger: 5%

Marvin Manx: 31%

Terry Tabby: 10%

Walt Weasel: 1%

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Bella was in a fog, and didn’t understand the numbers. The non-cats in the room erupted into cheers and ran up to hug her and congratulate her. Bella was confused.

Daphne: What’s wrong, Bella?

Bella: What just happened?

Daphne: You just beat out three cats and a weasel to finish second in the race!

Bella: Oh my cats! I’m Vice President.

Daphne: Yes! We have a voice in what happens thanks to you.

Ellie, Terry, and Walt came up to congratulate here. Geri sat in a corner and sulked. Marvin went up to the microphone.

Marvin: Thank you all for voting for me. I am honored that I will be serving with the first non-cat in the history of Academy politics. Bella, would you please come up and join me?

The room exploded in applause as Bella moved toward the front of the room.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

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14

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 3

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Where we are: Bella Bear has decided to run for student government to represent the various types of non-feline animals at the academy. She has been promised the support of many of those animals. To read the first two parts, click on the links to the right.

Several days passed. As promised, the other animals volunteered to do anything they could. The night before her first rally, Bella was nervous.

Bella: I don’t know why I said I’d do this. I’m never going to win. All I’m doing is wasting everyone’s time.

Daphne: You don’t have to win.

Bella: I know, I know. Just running is an important first step for us.

Daphne: No. I mnean you don’t have to get the most votes to win.

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Bella: What do you mean?

Daphne: What office did you register to run for?

Bella: I don’t remember. That’s kind of embarrassing. I am going to look like an idiot tomorrow.

Daphne: No, you won’t. You didn’t need to sign up, except to run for a leadership spot. The animal who gets the most votes is President, the runner-up is Vice-President, and third place becomes Treasurer.

Bella: How could I have missed that?

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Daphne: You were pretty upset about the cats running everything. You weren’t really focusing on much else.

Bella: Has it always been this way?

Daphne: As far as I know. You campaign for President, but as long as you’re in the top three, you’re elected to an office.

Bella: That’s why those cats were always in a herd. That makes sense.

Daphne: I told you the were nice kitties.

Bella: I better get going on my speech.

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When Bella was waiting to go on the stage, she was surprised to see that there were a lot of animals waiting to hear what she had to say. There were even a few cats.

Becky Squirrel: Look. The cats sent spies to see what you’re saying.

Bella: Oh, no! That’s awful.

Daphne: No, it isn’t. If they didn’t think you were a threat, they would ignore you. Besides, some of them may just want to hear what you have to say.

Ollie Otter: I agree. I always go to all the speeches just to hear what they are saying. Maybe they don’t really care if they vote for a cat.

Bella: Well, it’s too late to back out, so let’s do this.

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As she walked onto the stage, Bella heard the cheering and clapping. She hadn’t realized how many animals were ready for a change.

Bella: Thank you all for coming. I’m honored that so many of you wanted to hear me speak.

From the back: It’s about time someone showed those cats the we can’t be pushed around anymore. We’re gonna fight back. Watch out kitties, it’s our turn to roar.

The other animals began cheering the speaker. Bella was appalled. She didn’t want to fight the cats. She wanted to work with them.

Bella: No. That’s not the message at all. The cats haven’t hurt us. We just want them to understand what we want, too. We want to have a say in what activities and classes are offered. We want to be a team.

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The crowd quieted down as Bella talked about her plans and what she hoped to do, starting with afterschool and lunchtime clubs and programs more oriented toward some of the other animals. The audience listened quietly and cheered at the end.

Bella was thrilled. They seemed to really appreciate what she was saying. When she left the stage, she was surrounded by supporters. She noticed a couple of cats standing to the side and went over.

Bella: Hi, I’m Bella Bear. I’m so glad you could make it to my rally.

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Phoebe: We were just wondering if you meant what you said to those mockingbirds.

Bella: Sorry? We don’t have birds at the academy.

Phoebe: I meant the weasels who wanted to fight with us cats. Did you really mean what you said about wanted to work together? Or is that just a cover for the election?

Bella: Not at all. I don’t want to be excluded anymore, but the cats are a huge part of this school. After talking with some of you, I understand that we need to participate to get our ideas heard. I’m trying to be that voice.

Phyllis: We were hoping you’d say that. Quite a few cats are in favor non-cats having a bigger say in things. But we want to make sure it’s someone who won’t make things worse by turning the school into pro-cat and anti-cat enemies.

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Bella: Oh, yes! I completely agree.

Phyllis: Then we’d like to work with you on the best way to reach the cats.

Phoebe: And your team can work it into your message. What do you think?

Bella: I love the idea! Let me introduce you to my best friend, Daphne. She’s the one who keeps all of us on track.

Next week: Will Bella cooperative strategy work?

Image result for two bears

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

Cat Forum: Breaking Election News

Washington, DC, September 16, 2016

Commentator: We just received word this afternoon that not only is the Cat Party not going to put forward a candidate for the coming election, they are disbanding the party. On the eve of the Republican Convention, this is truly shocking news. I have them on the phone to find out what happened.

Commentator: Hello guys. We heard the big news. So what happened?

Jaime : Hello, and thank you for having us. We all discussed it and decided that Washington is no place for a cat.

Creamsicle: : You might remember that we were going to Washington to learn about the budget. It was a total disaster.

Commentator: What do you mean?

Creamsicle: Well, the first ones I wanted to meet were the Fat Cats. I thought that maybe I could show them some tricks about maintaining a healthy lifestyle even when they were super-busy. Do you know what I discovered?

Biff: We were all shocked.

Creamsicle: Fat Cats refers to humans. In fact, everyone we saw in the government was human.

Charles: Some of them wanted to put us in cages!

Commentator: That’s horrible.

Charles: Not only that. Some of them are incredibly stupid.

Commentator: How so?

Charles: We looked at the budget. Some of those numbers had way too many zeros. Our government could never afford things with that many zeros.

Jaime: And nobody noticed that the numbers were wrong.

Biff: That’s because nobody went to that meeting where they talked about the budget.

Creamsicle: It was pretty boring. I almost fell asleep.

Biff: But don’t you remember at the beginning when they called off the names of the people who were supposed to be there?

Charles: I counted. Only 16 out of the 42 people were actually there.

Jaime: But that wasn’t the really scary part.

Moderator: It got worse?

Jaime: Definitely. Later that day, they voted on spending the money they were talking about in that meeting.

Biff: There were 25 people at that meeting. I heard some of them whispering to their aides in the hall before the meeting. They were asking what they were voting on and how it impacted important people they know.

Creamsicle: They hadn’t read any of the bill!

Commentator: So you all decided that you didn’t want to be in Washington?

Charles: What self-respecting cat would?

Creamsicle: Those people never stop talking!

Biff: And a lot of the people smoke in that city. Can you imagine what our fur would smell like?

Charles: Besides, we would only be a token cat. They don’t even have litter boxes in those buildings.

Jaime: And they said that only one of us could represent cats. The rest would have to go home. We’d have to work with a human staff!

Commentator: That’s appalling!

Creamsicle: That’s what we thought. What’s to stop them from giving us someone who smells like dog?

Commentator: So what’s next?

Biff: We’ve had an offer for a book deal writing about our experiences.

Charles: We’ve also been offered a talk show. Kind of a political round-table.

Creamsicle: But right now we’re just looking for a place with enough sun for us all to relax. It’s been a tough few months.

Commentator: Thank you for spending your time with us.

Cats: Purr, Purr

(All pictures courtesy of Google Images)

5

A Mouse in Every Pot and a Cat in Every Bed*

*The similarity of this slogan to Herbert Hoover’s 1928 presidential campaign slogan is completely intentional. However, it does not mean that Mr. Hoover endorses any of the candidates below. Unfortunately Mr. Hoover died in 1964 and is unable to make such a declaration.


Here at Cheeseland we have been discussing the U.S. Presidential election a lot while trying to ignore the candidates as much as we can. It has become painfully clear that none of the candidates has a strong pro-cat stand (or any other animal, for that matter). In fact, we are unable to find a reference to cats anywhere in the published speeches.

Finally, someone suggested that we would have to put forward our own candidates. Both Super Snoops and Kommando Kitty quickly stepped back and said that they were much too smart to want to be President. So the search was on.

We were a little concerned about sending our mice editors George and Lenny out to find strong candidates. We didn’t want them eaten by interest groups or action committees. They did a fine job.

Below are our potential choices:

 

 

Name: Charles Scruffikan

Hometown: Detroit, MI

Current Job: Mouse Patrol

Strength: Not easily intimidated

 

Name: Edward “Biff” Kellingham III

Hometown: Braintree, MA

Current Job: Inspector at family mattress company

Strength: Calm under pressure

 

Name: Creamsicle

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Current Job: Yoga Instructor

Strength: Fast on her feet

 

Name: Jaime Tiggs

Hometown: Washington, DC

Current Job: Undersecretary of the Interior for Wildlife

Strength: Experience working with Congress

 

We are currently in negotiations for a debate between the candidates. You may forward any questions here. Please – nothing about technology.