Tag Archives: picnic

15

Cheeseland Day Camp – Parents Day

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The campers at Camp Muckamac had been working hard all week getting their skits ready for their parents The plan was for the parents to arrive after lunch on Friday and take the young animals home after the program.

It’s finally Friday, and everyone is very excited. There was a hike in the morning followed by cleaning. Finally, it was time for the skits. They always held the end-of-camp gathering in the Chow Hall in case of bad weather.

Ms Kimmy: Hello, everyone! In case I haven’t met anyone, I’m Ms Kimmy, director of Camp Muckamac. I’ve had the pleasure of being with your children for the past two weeks, and I’ve really had a good time. We didn’t have to send anyone home for not following the rules, and there were no major medical emergencies.

The parents applauded. The campers, who were sorted into their skit groups, looked at Ms Cate. They were waiting for the signal that it was time to start.

Ms Cate (whispering): Not yet. She needs to introduce the counselors first.

All of the counselors, except Ms Cate, lined up behind Ms Kimmy. Ms Kimmy introduced them one-by-one to continued applause. After they were introduced, they went back to the campers.

Ms Kimmy: Now it’s time for our program. Let’s give a big welcome to the first group: Mr Arthur and Forest Safety.

Two young raccoons run in with a banner saying, “Forest Safety.” They stand at the back of the stage. A kitten and a guinea pic walk onto the stage. They take turns reading from a paper.

Kitten: The forest is a wonderful, magical place, but you need to respect it.

Guinea Pig: Yes, you should always pay attention to where you are.

A group of young animals run onto the stage and stop. They start looking around.

Puppy: Do you guys know where we are?

Goat: Not really. We made a lot of turns.

Lamb: It’s kind of dark in here. I don’t like it. I want to go home.

Groundhog: Me too. I’m getting hungry.

Puppy: Should we blow the whistle?

Bear Cub: Don’t be a loser. We’re not lost. I live around here.

Hedgehog: So, which way do we go?

Bear Cub (pointing): That way.

A couple of minutes later.

Bear Cub: I don’t think this is right.

Kitten: I’m hungry.

Bear Cub: Just eat some berries.

Puppy: Wait a minute. Are those safe to eat?

Kitten: I don’t think so. Besides, cats don’t eat berries.

Puppy: That’s it. I’m blowing the whistle.

Two rabbits come out with an easel saying to always know where you are, don’t eat anything you don’t know, and bring something to help others find you if you get lost.

The audience applauded. The young animals bow, collect a few flowers that were thrown, and run off the stage.

Two young wolves run in with a banner saying, “Forest Foods and Medicine.” They stand at the back of the stage. Two meerkats walk on stage with a piece of paper. Mr Joseph stands at the side of the stage.

Meerkat 1: The last group talked about being safe in the forest. We agree you shouldn’t be careless.

Meerkat 2: But if you study the forest, it’s full of tasty things and things that can make you feel better.

A group of young animals come out dressed to forage.

Young Goat: First, you need to know what is dangerous to your species.

Puppy: We can’t eat onions or garlic.

Kitten: Us either.

Bear Cub: But for me wild leeks are delicious.

Young Goat: Pretty much anyone can eat dandelions.

Groundhog: And you can eat almost all of it. Starting with the leaves. They make a delicious salad.

Hedgehog: Did you know you can make wine from the flowers and a hot drink from the roots?

Capybara: You can add broadleaf plantain to your salad or cook them for a side dish.

Lamb: Ostrich Fern can be added to the salad or cooked too. I wonder if anyone cooks them with Broadleaf Plantain.

Bear Cub: Don’t forget wild berries. They are delicious!

Alpaca: Broadleaf Plantain can be used as a poultice for wounds and insect bites.

Kitten: Yarrow can be used for wounds and fevers. It’s not poisonous, but don’t eat too much.

Gopher: We can’t forget all the mushrooms that are safe to eat: morels, chanterelle, hen-of-the-woods, oyster, golden oyster, chicken-of-the-woods, and giant puffball.

A puppy walks in with a sign, “Know what you are eating.”

Kitten: That’s all for us. But we want to invite Mr Joseph out here for a surprise.

Mr Joseph had been whispering with Ms Cate at the side of the stage. Her group was going to do a skit about the Teddy Bears’ Picnic as soon as the current skit was over. Mr Joseph walked out onto the stage.

Kitten: We didn’t know how much Mr Joseph knew about native plants. We had a really good idea, and he helped us do it.

Everyone clapped although no one understood what was going on. The group left the stage. Two young foxes walked out with a banner the said, “Teddy Bears Picnic.” The stood at the back of the stage. A badger walked out and read from a piece of paper.

Badger: There is a song called “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.” We thought it would be fund to do a skit about a picnic.

A group of small animals came onto the stage carrying picnic baskets and blankets. They spread the blankets on the ground and started to open the picnic baskets.

Lamb: What food did we bring on our picnic, Mama?

Sheep: I’m not sure. I didn’t pack it.

The audience laughed.

Squirrel: That’s weird. My basket is empty.

Ms Cate was not amused. They had rehearsed an entire skit that was not centered on food.

Voice from Offstage: Hello? Hello? Did someone order picnic food? I have an order for a party of teddy bears.

Bear Cub: I didn’t order any food, but I’m a bear.

Voice: That’s good enough for me.

Suddenly, the stage was full of small animals carrying salads, bowls of berries, pots of honey, and other foods. Ms Cate was very confused. Mr. Joseph explained what was happening.

Mr Joseph: The kitten in my group is friends with the kitten in your group. Some of the older campers thought it would be funny to see what happened if they switched up the skit. Sort of a senior prank. The others didn’t agree. My group wanted to help, so they asked if we could actually gather what we were talking about.

Ms Cate: They did an amazing job.

Kitten: Ms Cate, would you please come out.

Ms Cate walked out, trying to avoid the munching animals. There was a group of animals holding bouquets of catnip.

Kitten: We all wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for our program.

They handed her the bouquets, and Ms Cate walked offstaghe.

Ms Kimmy: I’m not happy that a few campers decided to change things around without telling anyone, but all’s well that ends well. It looks like there is still a lot of food if anyone wants some.

Ed Note: The plants referenced are native to Michigan forests.

10

Bears v Bulls: The Great Tug-of-War

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These Photos of Animals Eating Food Will Brighten Your Day

It was time for the annual Everest Financial company picnic. It was a family event, and a highlight of the year. One of the most anticipated events was was the big tug-of-war. Every year, the “big boys” of the firm fought it out for bragging rights. It was always the bulls on one side and the bears on the other. The bulls had been winning for the past few years, but the bears had been practicing.

The bulls were an upbeat bunch. They always looked at the bright side, even when things seemed to go against them. They were optimistic and hopeful for the future. The clients loved them. Oddly, on the years that the bulls won the match, the company usually performed very well.

What Is a Group of Bears Called? | Animals Pickings

On the other hand, the bears were a lot quieter. They had a tendency to try and find the flaws in the bulls’ approach. They were cautious by nature. Some of the customers were afraid of the bears. They thought that the bears were bad luck. In fact, when the bears won the tug-of-war, the company usually performed poorly for some time afterwards.

The big day arrived. It was a beautiful sunny day. The bulls, as usual, were convinced they were going to win.

Herd Bulls | texasminiaturecattle

Jerry: OK, guys! We’re on a winning streak. We have to keep it going.

Louis: I don’t know. I have a weird feeling about today.

Jerry: What do you mean?

Louis: I’ve been hearing rumors.

Jimmy: What kind of rumors?

Louis: That the bears are a lot stronger than last year.

Jimmy: So what? We’re strong too.

Louis: Yeah. But some of the guys haven’t been working out. They’re convinced that we’re going to keep winning forever.

Jerry: Don’t be ridiculous. Of course, we’re going to win.

Angry Bear - JattDiSite.com

The bears came charging onto the field. They did look tough. And mean. Obviously, they meant to win this year.

Barry: Listen up, team. We can do this. Those stupid bulls are way too cocky. It’s time to teach them a lesson.

Theo: Things have been going their way for too long. It’s time for a correction.

Monique: Let’s show them what happens when you get too excited and lose track of common sense.

Meerkat | San Diego Zoo Animals & Plants

A huge crowd had gathered. There was a lot of tension in the air. The judges brought out the rope and laid it on the sand. The animals lined up on their respective sides. The main referee, a huge lion, explained the rules.

Lion: You may wrap the line around your body or hold it in your teeth. If you bite through the rope, the other team wins. The first team to pull the entire other team across the middle line wins. No throwing of dirt or bodily fluids. No poking, hitting, or biting. The judges may disqualify a player or an entire team. No eating opponents or spectators. Are you ready?

How the lion lost its strength: big cats' survival at risk as DNA defences dwindle | Wildlife | The Guardian

The bulls and the bears stepped into position and nodded.

Lion: Go!

Both sides dug in and tried to pull the other off balance. At first, there was a lot of grunting and groaning, but not much movement. The crowd was cheering loudly for the bulls. But Louis had been right; some of the bulls had gotten complacent, thinking that things would always be going their way.

So stubborn .. | Animals, Animals beautiful, Bear

The bears dug in hard and refused to budge. Before long, it was obvious that it was only a matter of time before the bulls collapsed. At first, it was just a couple of them losing their footing. Then they were attacked by horse flies. Soon their entire line was falling apart. The bears waited for an opportune moment.

The wind picked up and started blowing the sand around. It seemed to bother the bulls more than the bears. The bears kept up their pressure. Suddenly, the bulls collapsed. With a giant heave, the bears pulled them across the line and won the game.

Some of the crowd congratulated the bears, but mostly they went back to their picnic. The bears winning might be a bad sign, but there was always next year. And they didn’t want to rile up the bears any further. The last time the crowd upset the bears, they rode the bulls back to the office.

Sorted Food — 5 Top Animal / Food Blogs!

Ed. Note: Apologies to anyone who isn’t familiar with the US stock market. Generally speaking, the bulls are the people who think things are going to get better, and the bears are the ones who think they are going to get worse. At the moment, the bears are on top. A “correction” is what happens when the market starts to slow down after it gets too hot.

Of Bears and Bulls: The Irrationality of People | by Anthony Sassano | Medium

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

15

Felines and Friends Academy Elections

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Bella Bear: I am so mad!

Daphne Bear: What’s wrong?

Bella: Those stupid cats think they run everything.

Daphne: Anything in particular? Or is this just a generalized rant?

Bella: The Student Council has decided that the end-of-the year trip should be to the State Park.

Daphne: What’s wrong with that?

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Bella: Nothing, I guess. But the games are all about running, and jumping, and catching mice.

Daphne: They won’t care if we don’t participate.

Bella: I know. But what about the rest of us? The squirrels don’t want to chase mice. They’re cousins or something. In fact, we used to have mice in school. Until the cats made too many jokes about lunchtime.

Daphne: That was in extremely poor taste.

Bella: And what about the other animals? Sheep don’t chase mice, and neither do goats. It’s ridiculous.

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Daphne: All right. What are you going to do about it?

Bella: What do you mean? They’re in charge. What they say, goes.

Daphne: Have you told them how you feel? Do you have better ideas for the games?

Bella thought for a few minutes.

Bella: I guess I don’t. It’s hard to think of things that everyone can do. But they should think of some things that don’t only appeal to cats.

Daphne: If you’re that upset, you should talk to them. They seem like nice kitties.

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Bella: I don’t know. They intimidate me.

Daphne (laughing): Seriously? You’re, like, 10 times as big as they are.

Bella: But they always hang around in a group. It’s like they’re in a gang.

Daphne: You’re being ridiculous. They won’t hurt you. They’re kitties, not ogres.

Bella (sighing): I guess you’re right.

Bella got up her nerve and went to see the cats on the Student Council. The leader was Cherie, a beautiful Maine Coon.

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Cherie: Hi Bella. What’s up?

Bella: I was wondering if we could talk about the picnic?

Cherie: Of course.

Bella: It’s just that the games all seem to be cat-centric. The rest of us won’t have anything to do. It happens a lot around here. We can study cat dialects, but there aren’t any classes to learn bear or anything else. And most of the music classes are cat music. We need more diversity.

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Cherie: I understand what you’re saying, Bella. But this school was started by cats, for cats. There are a lot more cats. We don’t intentionally leave you out. But we don’t know anything about bears, or most other animals.

Bella: Almost every animal in student government is a cat. And all of the leadership.

Cherie: That’s not our fault. The only animals that ran for offices were cats.

Bella: Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that.

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Jasmine Calico: If you’re so interested in changing things, you should run for office. The elections for next year are coming up.

Bella: Oh, no. I couldn’t do that.

Jasmine: Then you can’t complain about what we do. We work hard to do what we think is best for the students. If you don’t think we’re doing a good job, then try to change things. You won’t get anywhere just by complaining.

The other cats nodded in agreement. None of them looked angry or intimidating. In fact, they looked like they thought they were giving her good advice. Bella thanked them and left.

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Bella: I am so frustrated. Those cats are so arrogant!

Daphne: What now?

Bella: Would you believe that they said the whole thing is my fault?

Daphne: Really? Why would they say that?

Bella: They said that if I wanted to change things, I should run for office.

Daphne: So they won’t change the games?

Bella: I forgot to ask them about that.

Image result for cats making a decision meme

Daphne: What did you talk about?

Bella: I told them that the school is too cat-centric, and that some of the other animals needed to be considered when important decisions are made.

Daphne: That sounds reasonable.

Bella: I thought so. But then they told me that they’re cats, and they think like cats. If I wanted things to change, I needed to get involved.

Daphne: Were they mean about it?

Bella: No. But they’re in charge, they need to change things.

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Daphne: They told you they think like cats. If you want them to think like bears, or sheep, or whatever, you need to teach them. We don’t think like cats.

Bella: I guess. But I can’t run. No one will vote for me.

Daphne: Why not? You’re passionate about it.

Bella: I don’t know what to say.

Daphne: You’ll think of something. Do you want things to change or not?

Bella: I need to think about it.

Next week: Will Bella have enough confidence to run for office?

Image result for bears thinking

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

8

Love is a Fresh Fish

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(Photos – and anything that resembles actual bear behavior – come from Wayne at Welcome to Tofino Photography.

Mama Bear had decided that after three years it was time for her two sons, Ben and Eddie, to move out on their own.

Ben: Mama, why are you kicking us out?

Mama: It’s time for both to find girls and settle down. I want grand-cubs before I’m too old to play with them.

(Ben walks away)

Eddie: What’s going on?

Ben: Mama want us to go and have cubs.

(Eddie blushes under his fur.)

Eddie: How are we going to do that?

Ben: With girls, stupid

Eddie: I know that. But how do I find a girl?

Ben: What do you mean? I’ve seen the way you look at Mary Sue. Just talk to her.

Eddie: I can’t do that.

Ben: Why not?

Eddie: I wouldn’t know what to say.

Ben: You could try “Hello”.

(Just then Mary Sue walked by with her mother. She looked at Eddie and smiled.)

Ben: See? She likes you.

Eddie: Isn’t she beautiful? That velvety nose, thick fur, white teeth.

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(He pauses.)

Ben: Just go talk to her.

(Eddie finally gets up the nerve to run after her when he sees Joe, Casanova of beardom, start talking to her.)

Eddie: I can’t. Joe’s talking to her and all the girls love Joe.

(All of a sudden, they hear a loud “whap”.)

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Ben (snickering): Well, Mary Sue sure doesn’t love him. Quit being stupid; You won’t know anything unless you talk to her.

(They’re walking along the riverbank and decide they might as well have lunch. After enjoying a nice fresh salmon, they continue on their way. They see two cubs fighting over a dead salmon.)

Ben: I know! You could give her a present.

Eddie: I’m not going to give her a dead fish.

Eddie: I don’t know. What if she doesn’t like it?

Ben: It’s food Eddie. She’s a bear. Bears love food.

Eddie: That’s true. Let me think about it.

(Ben shakes his head. Eddie thinks about how much he likes Mary Sue.)

Eddie: OK. I’ll do it.

(Eddie walks over close to Mary Sue. The water is falling over the rocks and it looks like a good place for fish. He gets into the water, slipping a little on the mossy rock. He easily catches a big fish and takes it out of the water, walking to Mary Sue. He drops it at her feet.)

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Mary Sue: Eddie, is that for me?

Eddie (embarrassed): I hope you like fish.

Mary Sue: I love it!

(She gobbles it down and smiles at him.)

Mary Sue: That was very sweet of you Eddie.

Eddie: Thank you.

(He hesitates a little.)

Eddie: Would you like to go to the picnic with me tomorrow?

Mary Sue: I’d love too.

(The next morning, Eddie meets Mary Sue on the beach. They walk together to the clearing in the woods where some other bears have already gathered. They snack on berries and talk. Eddie seems very nervous. Finally, he speaks.)

Eddie: Mary Sue, I’d like to ask you a question.

Mary Sue: You look so serious Eddie. What’s the question?

Eddie: Would you dance with me? (Rough human translation: Will you marry me?)

Mary Sue: Ohhh. I’d love to.

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(They get up and do their mating dance. When they are done, they walk off into the woods. Eddie is taking her to the den he has spent all night preparing in case she said yes. Back at the picnic Mama Bear is thrilled. She goes looking for Ben who has slipped away into the woods.)

Be sure to check out Tofino Photography. It has a lot more than bears. But we like the bears.

0

Calliope, Calliope, Wherefore Art Thou?

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A few years ago, I realized that I had not seen a calliope in a very long time. In fact, my kids don’t even know what it is. How can it be that hundreds of thousands of Americans don’t know what a calliope is? Next thing I know, someone will say they don’t know what a harpsichord does.

When I was little, my dad worked for a large company that had an annual picnic at a nearby lake. It was a big deal – games, food, beer tent (Dad’s favorite). And a calliope.

I looked up the definition of calliope. It is a musical instrument that produces sound by sending steam or compressed air through large whistles. It also said that calliopes are very loud; some small ones are audible for miles. There is no way to vary tone or loudness. The only variables are the timing and duration of the notes. Don’t see any popularity issues there. Sounds like a lot of the kids who come through the store.

Calliopes must be tuned often to create quality sound (probably an oxymoron). The pitch is affected by the temperature of the steam, so tuning is almost worthless anyway. They decided to just tell people that those off-pitch notes were just a part of the instrument’s charms. It’s a good thing that rationalization has never caught on for singing.

Interesting note: The calliope was patented by Joshua Stoddard on October 9, 1855. (Start planning your anniversary celebrations now!) He planned for it to replace the bells at church. I don’t know what type of church Mr. Stoddard attended, but I can’t imagine waking up to the sound of a calliope playing two miles away. Or listening to it chime every hour. I’m thinking the people would have sent Joshua from his home in Worcester, MA, to somewhere on the open prairie.

Apparently a calliope can either be played by hand or mechanically. I read that calliopes began using music rolls starting in the 1900’s. The ones I saw always had human players. I wonder if the musicians were just pretending to play. How disillusioning.

The real reason for the demise of the calliope seems to have been the replacement of steam power by things that didn’t get into our lungs and try to kill us. No steam, nothing to drive the music. I think it was a conspiracy by the same people who don’t want Harleys driving through their subdivisions at 3a.

The only calliope-maker in the world right now lives in Peru, Indiana. So it appears that the instrument will not be making a comeback any time soon. It’s probably just as well. Who needs another type of loud discordant music floating around?