Category Archives: Christmas

22

Post-Christmas Cat Council

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     The day after Christmas, the cats gathered to discuss the Christmas goings-on. 

 

Snoops: Christmas 2025 seemed to go pretty well.

Sgt Stripes: I didn’t see any huge new cat tree. I thought we were supposed to get a new cat tree.

Onyx: I heard them talking. Apparently the little humans got some kind of present called bunk beds. The male human appears to be the only one who can put stuff together and that comes before the cat tree.

Angel: That’s not fair. There’s only two of them and five of us.

Gypsy: Will they make less noise if they get the new beds?

Angel: Ooh. I’d wait for that.

Onyx: What’s a bunk bed?

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know. But hopefully, they will stay in it later than the current beds. My morning routine has been ruined. I used to hang out with Mom in the morning on weekends. Now they’re up before I finish my first set of cuddles. And I used to be able to get a couple of rounds of treats. Now, I’m lucky if I get one.

Snoops: You don’t need extra treats, But the fewer cuddles are a problem.

Angel: They come downstairs and make noise too.

Gypsy: Good thing Blondie is still sleeping down here because of her foot surgery. Otherwise, we’d have to deal with them.

Snoops: I’m not sure new beds are the answer. Maybe they should have gotten some kind of snack bar. That one kid is always hungry.

Sgt Stripes: That would have been cool. We could have stored cat snacks in it too.

Onyx: The kid probably would have eaten those too.

Snoops: At least dinner was good.

Angel: Only if you eat human food.

Snoops: It was a big salmon in some kind of pastry. It was delicious. And they had cookies too. I fell asleep afterwards.

Sgt Stripes: They had something called eggnog too. I guess sometimes humans put other stuff in it, but ours was just some kind of cream. Very yummy.

Gypsy: I don’t really like lots of people. I stayed in my new favorite spot – a shelf in the pantry.

Angel: That is pretty sweet. Right above the heat.

Gypsy: It’s the perfect spot. There’s a chain on the door, so the little humans can’t get in. But I didn’t get to see most of Christmas. Did the humans like our presents?

Sgt Stripes: It didn’t turn out quite the way we hoped. It was hard to get on the computer. So we had to just add to the human order. I will say that Snoops did a fine job with our human brother. He got an ultra-plush, ultra-large cotton towel.

Snoops: I tested it after it got opened. It will be purr-fect for catnaps. To be fair, Sarge did a good job with our human sister Blondie. She got a plush robe with cat ears on the hood. Stylish, but really comfortable for laying on.

Gypsy: Sounds pawsome! What did you get Mom?

Snoops: Apparently Onyx didn’t understand the assignment. She got a lamp.

Onyx: What’s wrong with a lamp? It’s two cats that light up.

Angel: There isn’t anyplace for us to lay on.

Onyx: You can wrap around it. The bulb’s at the bottom. It should get warm. And she really likes it.

Angel: I’ll have to do the shopping when it’s time for her birthday.

Snoops: Anyway, that’s over. Now it’s time to choose our tree. I’m thinking that since it’s late, we should get something even better.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. Maybe a place for treats.

Gypsy: I want real wood to sharpen my claws.

Angel: And plush beds.

Sgt Stripes: Time to talk to Mr Google again.

22

A Very Cali Christmas

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Christmas Calico 🎄 : r/cats
Nana Cali has been hosting a family Christmas dinner as long as anyone could remember. She had been doing all the work herself. She always made her family-famous fish stew. There were various kinds of kibble and a creamy eggnog or catnip punch to drink. She welcomed contributions but rarely got them.
It was usually a great time for all involved. But this year things didn’t seem to run as smoothly. It began with the invitations:
Tortoiseshell and calicoes and torbies, oh my! - Way of Cats
Cousin Sally: Nana, you know that I’ve been seeing Richard for months. Why wasn’t he on the chat?
Cousin Ruth: Probably because when he came to the picnic, he spent all of his time complaining about the location and the food.
Cousin Jenny: And he snarfed down enough for a Maine Coon.
Cat On The Phone GIFs | Tenor
(The younger family members had convinced Nana to use a group chat rather than just spreading the word. She was already regretting it.)
Cousin Sally: Well, I’m not coming if he can’t come.
Nana: Sweetie, you’re overreacting. I only sent it to family. There will be plenty of food.
Aunt Gertrude: That reminds me. Can we get something other than fish this year? My Calista really doesn’t like fish.
8 Cats Who Love Fish In Honor Of 'Go Fishing Day' - CatTime
Uncle Dill: You’re welcome to bring whatever you want for her. Mom makes the stew, but she doesn’t mind if others bring additional food.
Aunt Gertrude: Then it’s really not hosting, is it?
Aunt Jess: Do you always have to be so dramatic, Gert? Of course, she’s hosting. It’s at her house. There’s plenty of food and drink. And you’re welcome to bring something more if you want.
Ever seen a cat catching a ride on a pig? 🐷🐱 This is Silo the pig & Opal the cat! Thanks for sharing Jessica Hebert!
Cousin Bruno: Do you know what would be really epic? Let’s get a roast pig!
Cousin Drago: Yeah! That would be the best thing ever!
Nana was very upset. She thought that she had been doing a nice thing, and now it looked like no one was going to be happy. She talked it over with Gramps.
How Do Cats Communicate With Each Other? (It's Complicated.) - Petful
Nana: I think maybe I shouldn’t have the dinner this year.
Gramps: Why not? It’s one of the few times we get to see all of our kids and grandkids.
Nana: They talked me into creating what they call a group chat. No body actually talks to anybody. It seems like they just type whatever they want to in it. I don’t want to make a roast pig.
How this pig and cat became BFFs | story | Kids News
Gramps: A roast pig? Why would you make that? It would be three times as big as you are.
Nana: And they don’t want the fish stew. They want me to make all kinds of other food. I don’t think I want to do it anymore. I think I’m just getting too old.
Gramps read the chat. He was furious. He called their and told them to come over for a family meeting. Soon Gertrude, Dill, Jess, and Moonlight were there. Moonlight didn’t follow the chat and was very confused to see her parents so upset.
What Is a Group of Cats Called?
Gramps: Okay, listen up. Which one of you decided that it would be a good idea to let the entire family weigh in on how Nana does her dinner?
Gertrude: I guess it was me. It’s how the kids make plans, so I thought it would be good for us. It lets everyone contribute to what’s going on.
Gramps: Thanks to your brilliant idea, Nana doesn’t want to do Christmas dinner anymore.
Using Your Smartphone to Keep Your Pet Healthy - The Animal Medical Center
Moonlight: Wait a minute. What? Why?
Nana: Because apparently people are tired of my fish stew. They want more variety. And a roast pig.
Moonlight: That’s ridiculous. I hate social media. Everyone thinks they can say whatever garbage pops into their heads. What idiot suggested a roast pig for a cat family dinner?
How Do I Apologize to My Cat in A Way They Understand? 7 Vet-Approved Ways - Catster
Dill: I think it was my sons. Sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize you’d take them seriously.
Nana: Well, I might not have if Gertrude hadn’t said that I should make something different for Calista. I thought everyone liked my fish stew. I said you were welcome to bring your own dishes if you wanted to.
Jess and Dill glared at Gertrude.
Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome In Cats - Good Pet Parent
Jess: Tell Dad what you said to that suggestion.
Gertrude looked embarrassed.
Gertrude: I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.
Your Cat Etiquette Guide: What to Keep in Mind If You're Hosting Thanksgiving - Vetstreet | Vetstreet
Gramps: What did you say?
Gertrude: I said it didn’t really sound like hosting if we had to bring our own food.
Gramps: Why would you say that?
Ever get bored and drink with your cat ? This is a chicken Churu flavored Icelandic spring water Meow-tini. I had a vesper on my side. : r/cocktails
Gertrude: I don’t know. It was probably the two niptinis I had. It was a bad day.
Dill: If you’ve messed up our Christmas dinner, Gertrude, you better run because I’m coming after you.
Jess: Yep. It’s the highlight of the holiday season.
Moonlight: You’re not really going to cancel the dinner, are you, Mom?
How to keep your cat from jumping on the table while you're eating - Dr. Marty Becker
Nana: I don’t know. It really hurt to hear that you aren’t happy with it.
Jess: We didn’t say we wanted to change anything. It was just the princess over there.
Gertrude: I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how it sounded. I can make some turkey if you’ll keep the rest of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!! From Maya and her giant turkey leg 🍗 We're so grateful to be a part of such an incredible community, and to get to know all of you!! 💛💛 (For
The cats looked at Nana and waited.
Nana: Okay. I guess it’s back on.
Gramps: And the group chat is off.
Merry Christmas Animated Images Free GIFs | Tenor
Pictures courtesy of Google Images.
14

Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm

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The Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm had been in DW Kasto’s family for generations. They were builders during the warm months and ran the farm up until it was time to settle in for the winter. They prided themselves on having the best selection of trees in all of Cheeseland. The day after Thanksgiving was always their busiest day with everyone hoping to get the perfect tree. DW and his sons Calvin and Elbert ran the tree operation. His wife, Doreen and the other ladies ran the shop and bakery. The smells of pine and cinnamon were everywhere.

This year was no different. Early in the morning, the lot was already full of families looking at this year’s trees. It was a cold, sunny day. Perfect for tree shopping.

Katia Kali: Ooh Mama! Look at all of the trees. How many do you think there are?

Mama Kali: I don’t know sweetie. (She was looking at the price tags. It was cheaper to buy one of the pre-cut trees. But that wasn’t as much fun as showing the beavers which tree they had selected.)

Katia Kali: Look at the pretty ones over here. Can we get one of these?

The Kastos had tipped some of the trees in silver or gold. They were in a separate display. It was all rather overwhelming for a small cat.

Mama Kali: Are you sure you don’t want to go out and look for one the beavers can cut for us?

Katia Kali: No, I want this one. I’m already cold.

Mama Kali: Okay. I’ll take the tag to the counter so we can pay.

The payment counter was inside the shop. The shop was filled with ornaments and other Christmas decorations. There was also steamed cream, flavored waters, and all types of baked goods.

Katia Kali: Mama, can I get an ornament? Or a catnip cookie? Or a wreath?

Before Mama Kali had a chance to answer, a very large, very angry Forest Cat ran in. It was chasing a frightened dog of uncertain lineage..

Forest Cat: Who’s in charge here?

Doreen Kasto: I’m the owner. What seems to be the problem?

Forest Cat: I brought my two little daughters to pick out a tree. We were looking at one tree, and this animal came up and “marked it,” if you know what I mean. It was disgusting. Do you really allow that type of behavior.

Dog: My name is Maurice, and I am a waiter at a fine dining establishment. I am not an “animal”.

Forest Cat: Fine, Maurice. You relieved yourself in front of my little girls, right on the tree we were looking at.

Maurice: That is why I felt the need to stake my claim I was also interested in that tree.

Doreen noticed that a crowd was growing, and she really didn’t know what to do. She called DW and asked him to come inside.At the same time, a very agitated rabbit spoke up.

Rabbit: I know you. You’re the same dog that marked my tree. I can’t take it home smelling of dog.

Maurice: You act like that’s a bad thing. I’ll have you know that I am a very clean dog.

DW Kasto: What’s going on here?

Doreen Kasto: It seems that this dog has been marking trees.

Maurice: How else will I remember which tree to have cut down?

DW Kasto: That sounds reasonable.

Stella Squirrel: How many trees were you planning to buy? I saw you marking at least four.

Maurice: I was having trouble making up my mind. i didn’t want to lose track of the ones I was considering.

Forest Cat: Ugh. No one else is going to want a tree that smells of you. And you think it’s reasonable, DW?

DW Kastro: I didn’t realize he’s done it more than once. That is unacceptable. I’m afraid you’ll need to leave Maurice.

Maurice: What about my tree? I should be able to get my tree. No one told me I couldn’t mark more than one tree. It’s not posted anywhere.

DW Kasto: You need to leave. Now.

Maurice: This is an outrage. I’m going to tell everyone how unfairly I was treated. I have over 1,500 followers on AnimalWire. You’ll regret this.

DW Kasto: My apologies to everyone. Please enjoy your trip to Beaverbrook.

Mama Kali: Let’s pay for the tree and get out of here Katia. We can make cookies when we get home.

Images created in ChatGPT and Copilot.

27

Edgar Mouse’s Christmas Adventure

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 Christmas mouse Cute mouse with christmas gift mouse celebrating christmas | Premium AI-generated image

Edgar Mouse was very excited. He was going to visit his sister Polly for Christmas. He was a field mouse, but Polly had moved into town and was now a house mouse. She was renting space in a multi-species dwelling. There was a strict no-intimidation, no-eating policy among the residents.

Woodland Trust🌳 on X: "The yellow-necked #mouse (Apodemus flavicollis) can be easily confused with the more common wood mouse. It is a #woodland species, particularly common in #AncientWoodland, and can be found

Several of the residents were having friends and family stop by for the holidays, so Polly gave Edgar directions directly to her space to ensure there wouldn’t be any problems with the other guests. As Edgar got near, he tried to remember what she had said.

“Hmm. I know there was something about direction. Was it Go to the west, that’s always best? or Avoid the beast. Go to the east? or Dragon’s mouth is in the South? No, that one’s silly. She doesn’t live with dragons. I don’t remember. Now what should I do?

Eating cute little mouse | One of these cute and tiny mice e… | Flickr

Edgar walked around the house, looking in the windows. He didn’t see Polly anywhere. There was a big front door. That couldn’t possibly be right. He wandered around a bit more. Something smelled delicious. He was so preoccupied with the smell that he didn’t notice the small crack in the wall.

“That must be what I’m looking for! It’s perfectly mouse-sized. I’ll just sneak in and surprise Polly.”

The real-life Tom and Jerry: Captured mouse stands his ground and hits cat back in 10-minute battle before escaping

Edgar squeezed into the crack. To his surprise, it opened up into a large dining room. He sat on his haunches for a couple of minutes looking around. What was that delicious aroma? Something was baking. He started to follow the smell. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his tail. He looked back and was horrified to see a rather large tabby cat with its paw on his tail.

The Tabby was looking at Edgar and grinning.

Cat Playing with Mouse - Interactive Scene | AI Art Generator | Easy-Peasy.AI

“Hello, mouse. Would you like to play?”

Edgar shook his head, terrified. The cat let him go. He ran away, but was cornered by a tortie. This cat batted at him a couple of times, but didn’t really seem interested in hurting him. The tabby picked him up in his mouth and looked around. Edgar squirmed and the cat let him go.

10 Facts About Cats and Mice

For several minutes, the two cats and Edgar “played.” He was looking for an escape. Every time Edgar tried to run, one of the cats would put a paw on him. They never hurt him, but Edgar was terrified. Finally, he hid under a cabinet and tried to figure out how to escape. The cats had him cornered there.

Blog - Richmond, VA Homeowners' Complete Guide To House Mice

Suddenly, the big door opened. The cats were distracted, and Edgar raced out the door. Finally, he was safe again. But where was Polly? He looked around, afraid to approach the house again. He heard someone calling his name.

“Edgar! Edgar! Where are you?”

Edgar: Polly! Is that you?

Rodent Exclusion with Hulett Environmental Services

Polly: Oh my goodness, Edgar! I was so worried. Are you okay?

Edgar: Polly! I’m so glad I found you. I had a terrible adventure. There were two cats who had me trapped.

Polly: You’re lucky you got out. My place is on the other side of the house. The cat I live with heard what was going on. He’s the one who opened the door so you could escape.

Winter Rodents | Dobby the Capybara

Edgar: You live with a cat?

Polly: Oh, yes. There are a couple of cats, a family of guinea pigs, a capybara, and a gorilla. There’s also a Bernese Mountain Dog who watches over us all,

Edgar: Will I be safe there?

Christmas Mouse with Bauble Decoration Festive Rodent Celebrating the Holiday Season | Premium AI-generated image

Polly: Absolutely. Just follow me. Like I said, “west is best”. If we go in the west door, my space is just inside.

Edgar followed her in. It was very cozy. After all the excitement, he was very tired and took a long nap before meeting the rest of the housemates. They welcomed him, and Edgar had a very enjoyable Christmas.

Christmas Kittens | Cat christmas cards, Merry christmas cat, Merry christmas pictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

13

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 3

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Project Himalaya | Our yak photo gallery

Where we are: It’s almost Christmas, and Santa is worried. For years, his ability to deliver toys around the world on Christmas Eve has been credited to Christmas magic. In reality, he and the reindeer are magic, but they get a lot of help storing the toys locally by using the services of Yak Express. In reality, Beasts of Burden (BoB), a unionized subsidiary of Yak Express, has a contract to get the toys to worldwide staging areas for the reindeer to pick them up on Christmas Eve.The yaks do a lot of the work, and the reindeer get all the glory. The yaks are ready to go on strike if they don’t get some recognition. You can read parts 1 here and 2 here.

Siamese Cat Breed Information & Characteristics

The two sides are meeting with an arbitrator to find some common ground. Both sides have been whispering amongst themselves while they wait for the meeting to start. Finally a beautiful Siamese cat walks into the room and looks around.

Santa (whispering): Who is she? I’ve never seen her before. I thought all the arbitrators were elves.

Tibetan Yak colors | yak color patterns | yak images | Tibet images

Zeke, the lead yak negotiator looks pleased. They had been concerned that the elves would be too close to Santa to be impartial. The cat takes a seat at the head of the table.

Cat: Good morning everyone. My name is Nakhon, and I am here to help you come to an agreement regarding changes the yaks would like to make in their new contract. It appears that the two sides are rather far apart after several weeks of negotiation, and the yaks are ready to go on strike.

Angry Santa Claus Images - Free Download on Freepik

Santa: They can’t go on strike. It would ruin Christmas!

Nakhon: Then, I recommend you find a way to make them content. Who will be representing your side?

Santa: It’s my personal attorney, Sylvester SilverBells.

Nakhon: And for the yaks?

Zeke: I am the lead negotiator. My name is Zeke.

Siamese Cat Reading Sun Tzu's 'Art of War' | Stable Diffusion Online

Nakhon: I’ve been looking over the requests that the yaks have made. They seem to be pretty straightforward. Let’s begin with the request for shelter in extreme climates. That seems to be a reasonable request.

Sylvester: We have a concern that building yak centers in remote locations will draw attention to our operation. We don’t want to spoil the magic for all of the boys and girls.

A highland cow sleeping in the evening sun : r/aww

Zeke: We aren’t asking for huge new facilities. Our members would be happy with a warm bed of hay and some grass and water. Too many times, they’ve had to wander around looking for a spot to lie down. We wouldn’t be resting until we had delivered the presents to the storage facility.

Nakhon: That sounds reasonable to me, Mr. SilverBells. You don’t want your yaks to be collapsing from exhaustion, do you? That would be a bigger scandal than someone finding out the reindeer are being helped by yaks.

Young Oregon Farmer Tries To Make A Career With Yaks | Jefferson Public Radio

Sylvester: I suppose you’re right. We’ll find some type of shelter in any location that is more than 20 miles from an existing shelter.

Zeke: We’d also like a an allowance for travel-based expenses.

Nakhon: That was not part of the original request. I will order the two sides to form a committee to deal with that issue.

Zeke (to his team): It was worth a shot.

A yak with long horns walking down a dirt road photo – Free Scotland Image on Unsplash

Nakhon: Moving along. How often do the yaks travel more than 250 miles on a trip?

Zeke:Things are sent all over the globe. Sometimes the yaks have to take boats or trains to get to their destination. It can take several days.

Nakhon: How did you arrive at a bonus every 250 miles?

Zeke: It’s a good way to keep the employee motivated to accept the long-haul routes.

Yak | Took a picture of running Yak near Macherma, Nepal. It… | Flickr

Sylvester: It’s not feasible to give the yaks a bonus every 250 miles. That would be too expensive. Almost every trip is over 250 miles.

Nakhon: It does seem a little overly generous. Perhaps you could work out a bonus that is paid at the end of each trip.

Zeke: We need to make sure that we are rewarding our best performers.

Sylvester: We can work out something based on how quickly and safely the yaks complete a round trip.

Zeke: That sounds reasonable.

New Year's celebrations shelved across the globe as COVID-19 surges, here's who canceled and who hasn't | Fox Business

Nakhon: The final item is paid holidays. Have the yaks been working without any paid holidays.

Zeke: Yes, ma’am

Sylvester: The yaks don’t really need paid holidays. Their work is seasonal.

Zeke: We have to be available whenever Santa wants us.

Reindeer (Caribou) | San Diego Zoo Animals & Plants

Nakhon: Do the reindeer have paid holidays? Their work is also seasonal.

Sylvester: That’s different. They don’t get Christmas off.

Zeke: No, but they are paid for New Year’s Day and Easter. And they get paid vacations.

Nakhon: Would these holidays interfere with the service Santa requires?

What is the winter Solstice? | English Heritage

Sylvester: The Winter Solstice is during our busy season.

Zeke: We can do without that, this time.

Nakhon: I think that’s everything. Do we have an agreement?

Zeke: I have to let the members vote on it, but I think it’s an agreement.

Sylvester: We agree.

Santa: Wonderful! Now let’s get back to work. It’s almost Christmas.

About 1 — YAK VANS

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

9

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 2

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Large hairy yak carrying load close up, 2023

Where we are: The yaks who are part of the Beasts of Burden (BoB) union are currently working without a contract.They are the key to Santa’s logistical network doing the behind-the-scenes present delivery to Santa’s depots all over the world. The reindeer “last-mile” delivery on Christmas Eve is only possible because of the yaks’ hard work. The yaks are never mentioned because Santa feels it would take away some of the magic from Christmas. You can read about it here.

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The yaks’ contract with North Pole management expired in the middle of September. They have been working hard since then without a contract. The yaks are asking for more money in the form of a per-mile bonus, shelters and food in some of the more remote areas, and six paid holidays. Currently the yaks are paid an hourly rate with no other benefits.

Santa is getting nervous. He sets up a meeting with Herman Hoover, his accountant.

Dog accountant Pets with jobs | Premium AI-generated image

Santa; Herman, I just got a letter from Max Yak. He’s the head of the BoB. He says they’re going on strike if we don’t meet their demands for a new contract. Did you know about this?

Herman: Actually, I did. I’ve been talking with them for several weeks. Their requests are outrageous. They want us to build shelters for them if they have to deliver to the desert or the Arctic circle. That was part of the advantage in hiring yaks; they can adapt to almost any weather.

Yak | Wild Ox of Asia, Himalayas & Tibet | Britannica

Santa: They do a lot of work for us. It seems reasonable that they would need a place to rest once in awhile.

Herman: But what if someone finds out that they’re in the area on official North Pole business? It’s not as if a yak with a hundred Christmas presents is a common sight. We’re trying to get them in and out as quickly as possible. Next thing you’ll know is that they will want us to provide trains so they can travel in comfort.

Yak in a flat cap with a knapsack riding a train on Craiyon

Santa: They didn’t say anything about trains. I think that would be unreasonable. Definitely no trains.

Herman: I didn’t mean they were actually asking for trains. It was just an example of what might be next if we provide shelter.

Santa: What about this request for per-mile bonus. Don’t we already pay them for their travel.

Yak walking on footbridge amidst mountains at Sagarmatha National Park stock photo

Herman: We pay them a decent hourly wage. They want a bonus on top of that for every 250 miles they travel in a year. The bonus would be paid at the end of the year. It’s a ridiculous request. Their entire job is to travel; why would we pay them extra for doing the job they were hired to do?

Santa: Do we give the reindeer a holiday bonus?

Herman: That’s different. They travel the entire globe over a 24-hour period.

The Meaning of Lunar New Year, Also Known As Chinese New Year

Santa: What holidays do they want to be paid for?

Herman: New Years Day, Lunar New Years Day, Nepalese New Year, Summer Solstice, Winter Solstice, and Christmas.

Santa: They want three new years every year? Why would they want the Nepalese New Year off?

Herman: Yak Express is headquartered in Nepal.

Diamond Painting - Full Round - Christmas Yak(30*30cm)

Santa: It’s getting close to Christmas. We need to make sure the presents can all be delivered.

Herman: Don’t worry, the yaks won’t cancel Christmas. We’ve been working with them for years. They always get a little touchy when the contract needs to be renewed, but they sign in the end.

Santa: I’m not sure. I don’t remember it ever running into December before.

Yaks: The Eco-friendly Giants - A Sustainable Alternative in a Warming World

Santa’s phone rings and he picks it up. He ends the call with “Yes, I understand.”

Herman: What was that about?

Santa: That was Max Yak. If we don’t settle the contract by December 15, they’re going to strike.

How reindeer evolved to be Santa's perfect helper | BBC Earth

Herman: They should have most of the presents delivered by then. The reindeer will have to pick up the slack.

Santa: He also said they would tell everyone how Christmas delivery actually works.We need to fix this, Herman. I want to get the yaks and your team in a room and not leave until this thing is settled.

Every Negotiation is a Different Animal.

Next week: WIll negotiations work to save the magic of Christmas?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

16

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective

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Pets and Packing – Firebird Farms

Zafir Yak was sitting in the employee lounge of Beasts of Burden (BOB) Local 687, a part of Yak Express. He was watching the news on the television when a story about Santa’s reindeer came on.

Reporter: Tell us about what’s going on in Santa’s Workshop this time of year.

Comet: It’s the busiest part of the year for us. Santa’s getting requests from children all around the world. He has to make sure that all of the good boys and girls get what they want.

Santa Claus using a laptop computer while sitting at desk on dark blue background | Premium AI-generated image

Reporter: Does he have a system to keep it all straight? That’s a lot of toys.

Dancer: Computers have really helped him keep things organized. He has up-to-the-minute access to which toys are most popular. Elves are working around the clock to make sure everyone gets what they asked for.

Reporter: What are the reindeer doing right now?

Dasher: We are doing training runs. We have to be perfect by Christmas Eve.

Reindeer Are Not a Christmas Photo Prop

Reporter: It is amazing that eight reindeer can carry all of those toys. How do you build up the stamina for that? After all, it’s the only day of the year you actually work. How do you make sure you’re at peak performance?

Comet: It’s the only day the humans see us. We’re working all year. The eight of us are professionals. We are in peak shape all of the time. Christmas Eve is the day of the hard work pays off. We deliver millions of toys on one night. And we have to make sure that they are all in the right pace. It’s a lot of work to be one of Santa’s reindeer. We are an elite unit.

A large furry yak is lying in the snow The yak has its mouth wide open and is laughing | Premium AI-generated image

Zafir’s friend Sandy starts laughing.

Sandy: Can you believe that goofball? Acting like they are the only ones ensuring that every child gets their toy.

Zafir: They already talked about Santa and the elves.

Sandy: But they haven’t said a word about the Yaks’.

Zafir: They may not have gotten to us yet.

Mitchell: They never get to us.

A group of yaks standing together | Premium AI-generated image

Sandy: He’s right. We’re supposed to be a secret. We’re part of the “magic.”

Benji: But that’s going to change this year. Pretty soon everyone will know who we are.

Zafir: What’s happening this year?

Benji: Beasts of Burden has a contract with the North Pole. It lists all of the jobs we are responsible for. It also says how much we get paid and what other benefits we get. Like vacation and sick time.

Sleeping Reindeer – The Cairngorm Reindeer Herd

Leopold: Someone got a hold of the reindeer contract. They get two months vacation and unlimited sick time each year. They also have private gyms and on-site cafeterias.

Benji: Our contract was up a couple of months ago. We’re working without a contract right now. But that isn’t going to last until Christmas.

Leopold: Our President, Max Yak, has sent a letter to the North Pole. He has told them that either they agree to some of our demands, or he will tell everyone just how involved Yaks’ are with Christmas.

UNESCO to present Tibetan Yak Dance as Chinese intangible cultural heritage - Tibetan Review

Zafir: You mean like how we’re the ones who take the toys to depots around the world where the reindeer can pick them up for local delivery?

Sandy: And the reason Santa is so fast is that he doesn’t actually carry the toys in his sleigh?

Benji: And a few more of Santa’s logistical shortcuts.

Zafir: But then it won’t seem so magical.

Benji: Even worse, if we don’t get a living wage, we’re gonna go on strike. Those reindeer can find out exactly how much work we do for them.

Yak - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Next week: Will the yaks strike?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

27

Blitzen’s Bad Day – Part 2

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Christmas Reindeer: What's the Story Behind Santa and Reindeer? - A-Z Animals

Where we are: Blitzen was injured during his annual physical and is trying to recover in time for Christmas Eve. In the meantime, Santa has asked two back-up reindeer, Chad and Grigor to fill in on training runs. It’s only two weeks until Christmas.

Santa: How are the new guys working out?

Donner: Okay, I guess.

Dasher: There’s something about Chad that makes me nervous.

Why Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed 'Reindeer' Actually a White-Tailed Deer?

Prancer: Yeah. He’s always making weird jokes about Blitzen

Donner: He’s acting like he’s already replaced Blitzen.

Santa: It’s probably just nerves. How’s Grigor doing?

Dasher: That kid has no sense of direction. It’s good thing he’d be at the back of the pack.

Vixen: We were trying to make a run over Canada, but when I looked down it was Finland.

40 Reindeer Facts More Than Just About Rudolph - Facts.net

Comet: He mixed up Lapland and Latvia too.

Cupid: At least those are close to each other.

Santa: Which one do you think would be the better team member?

The reindeer looked at each other. 

Donner: I want Blitzen back. How’s he doing?

Premium AI Image | a reindeer laying down in a field with mountains in the background

Santa: I was over there yesterday. He’s working hard, but I just don’t think he’s going to be in shape.

Donner: I definitely don’t want to fly with Chad. I think he’s part of the reason Blitzen wasn’t in top form at his physical.

Comet: I agree. Chad and his buddies party a lot. I don’t think he’s a good fit for the team.

Dasher: When are you going to make your decision Santa?

Santa: If Blitzen can’t join the team by the end of the week, I’m going to have to replace him.

Reindeer running through eastern Iceland : r/wildlifephotography

Meanwhile, Blitzen is working hard to regain his strength. His wife Aurora was helping him train. They were working with an old doctor Blitzen had known for years.

Blitzen: It’s no good. The doctor told  me that I needed to start running, but I’m still limping. I’m never going to be able to fly in time.

Aurora: Maybe you should just rest and let it heal. There’s always next year.

Blitzen: You know Chad. If he gets my place this year, he’s not going to give it back.

Aurora: You can win it back from him. You’ve got the experience.

Blitzen: It’s not that easy. Dr. Mika, there must be something you can do.

Dr. Mika: You’re healing well. These things just take time.

Blitzen: I don’t have time. Don’t you have any special tricks to help me?

10 Festive Facts About Reindeer - The National Wildlife Federation Blog

The doctor hesitated. Blitzen looked desperate. They had been friends for many years.

Dr. Mika: I do have one idea.

Blitzen: What is it? I’ll do anything.

Dr. Mika: I have a friend. Actually, he’s an associate. His approach to medicine is a little unorthodox. Are you willing to try something different?

Blitzen: I’m desperate.

Dr. Mika said that they would have to take a walk in the woods. Blitzen and Aurora followed Dr. Mika; Blitzen was visibly limping after a few steps. Eventually they came to a clearing.

Dr. Mika: Do you believe in Christmas magic?

Blitzen: Of course I do. I’m one of Santa’s reindeer.

Community Post: 25 Animals Who Think They're People | Funny animals, Bear, Cute animals

Aurora nodded. Dr. Mika told them to close their eyes. When they opened them, there was a very large bear standing in front of them. He was holding something in his paws. Aurora was terrified.

Aurora: Is he going to eat us?

Dr. Mika: Of course not. This is Rolfe. He’s here to help.

Rolfe: Greetings. Do you believe in magic?

They both silently nodded.

Rolfe: Apply this medicine to your bad leg three times, and you will be healed.

Rolfe dropped a bundle of herbs at Blitzen’s feet, waved, and disappeared into the woods. He was gone before Blitzen had a chance to thank him. Dr. Mika picked up the herbs and led Blitzen and Aurora home.

Santa Claus Reindeer - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Photos)

Blitzen: What is that stuff?

Dr. Mika: Special medicine to fix your leg. But it will only work if you truly believe. Are you ready?

Blitzen: Ready.

Dr. Mika boiled some of the herbs and applied them to Blitzen’s leg. He could feel warmth spreading through his body.

Blitzen: I think it’s working! I can feel it.

Dr. Mika: That’s a good sign. I’ll be back tomorrow to apply it again.

After the third treatment, Blitzen felt good enough to go see Santa.

10 Festive Reindeer Facts – San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance Stories

Santa: Blitzen! You’re not limping! Can you fly and land?

Blitzen: Let’s find out.

They headed out to the practice field. All of the other reindeer were there. They ran up to Blitzen and welcomed him back. Blitzen took a running start and glided up into the air. He sailed past the toy factory and gently landed in the field on the other side.

Donner: You did it! You’re back!

Comet: That’s amazing! I didn’t think you’d be back this year.

Chad: Congrats, bro. Guess you get your job back.

Santa: Yes, you do. Let’s get to work! Christmas is in three days.

Premium Vector | Draw cat meowy christmas for new year and merry christmas

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. 

19

Blitzen’s Bad Day

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Santa, reindeer granted permit to enter US on Christmas Eve

In late November, Santa had a meeting with his reindeer.

Santa: Hello everyone. As you know, it’s only a few weeks until Christmas. It’s time to start intensive training to make sure everyone’s ready for the big night. You’ve all been doing the job for a long time, so I don’t expect any issues. First thing are the physicals to make sure you’re ready to fly. First up is Blitzen.

Truthfully, Blitzen wasn’t feeling particularly well that morning. He’d been out with his brother-in-law Chad the night before, and Chad had talked him into eating a few too many spiced cranberries.

Premium AI Image | a white reindeer laying down in the grass

Blitzen: Santa, could someone else go first? I don’t feel well.

Santa: Don’t be silly, Blitzen. You’ve known about this for weeks. If you don’t pass the physical, you can’t start training.

There was a small grouph of reindeer at the edge of the group who were listening closely. They were the alternates in case something happened to one of the regulars. Chad was in the group. He said something to the others, and they snickered. Santa looked over, and they quieted down.

Blitzen: Please, Santa? Just let someone else go first.

photos of reindeer jumping - Google Search | Meet santa, Oakland museum, Francisco

Santa: All right. Comet, get on the scale.

Comet climbed on the scale.

Doctor: Perfect! Same as last year. Let’s see you run the obstacle course.

Comet gracefully ran around the pylons and jumped over the hurdles.

Doctor: Excellent! Last test. Take a running start, and fly over that group of buildings. (The doctor pointed at the complex where the elves assembled the toys.)

Comet: Sure thing, doc.

Comet glided easily over the workshops and landed in a field on the other side.

Doctor: Congratulations! You’re cleared for training.

The Reindeer Games - JSTOR Daily

One by one, the other reindeer on the team passed the exams and were cleared for Christmas training.

Doctor: Blitzen, it’s your turn.

Blitzen walked over to the scale:

Doctor: Hmm. You seem a little bloated. You might want to lose a few pounds over the next few weeks.

Chad and his friends started snickering. Blitzen was mortified. He had been going out quite a bit with Chad lately, but he hadn’t realized it was affecting his weight. 

Doctor: Now the obstacle course.

The Best Places to See Reindeer Around the World | Travel| Smithsonian Magazine

Blitzen took a deep breath and started running. He knew it wasn’t going as well as usual, but he hoped it was going to be good enough. He clipped the last pylon as he was going around it, and it broke his stride. He tripped on the final hurdle. It was humiliating. He went back to the doctor with his head hanging.

Doctor: Blitzen, you’ve been doing this for years. What’s the problem?

Blitzen: I think I ate something bad last night. I really don’t feel well.

Doctor: Okay. As long as you pass they flying, I’ll clear you for the training. But you’ll need to do some extra work to get that weight off.

Blitzen: Absolutely. Here I go.

Closeup of a reindeer lying on snowy ground at Svalbard, Norway Stock Photo by wirestock

Unfortunately, Blitzen didn’t realize that he had hurt his leg on on the hurdle. He didn’t have any problem with the flying, but he landed hard and stumbled down. The other reindeer flew to him.. His partner, Donner, got there first.

Donner: Buddy, are you okay?

Blitzen: Yeah. Just give me a minute.

But when he tried to stand up, he couldn’t put any weight on his back right hoof. He immediately fell back down. The doctor examined Blitzen carefully and then talked to Santa.

Doctor: I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s very swollen.

Santa: How long will he be injured?

Doctor: It’s hard to say. But at least a couple of weeks. Maybe longer.

The Very Real Reindeer and How They Became Associated With Christmas

Santa: Will he be able to pull the sleigh?

Doctor: Not without a little Christmas magic.

Santa: Hmm. I’m not sure we can count on that. I should probably train a replacement just in case.

They put Blitzen on a sled and took him home. Then Santa spoke to the other reindeer.

Santa: We’re not sure whether Blitzen will be able to pull the sleigh on Christmas Eve. But even if we do find some Christmas magic for that, we still need a replacement for the training exercises. Chad and Grigor, you’re the top alternates. You’ll be competing for the spot, if it does open up.

Chad and Grigor looked at each other and grinned.

Next week: Will Blitzen find his Christmas magic?

Two reindeer in the snow : r/ReindeerPictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

28

Sgt Stripes’ First Christmas

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Hello everyone! Sgt Stripes here. I’m still living upstairs, but it’s come to my attention that something major is going on. They brought up a little green tree and put it on my dresser. It doesn’t taste very good. Mom says it’s my Christmas tree.

I asked Mr. Google about Christmas trees. He says humans decorate them for the holiday. Mom didn’t decorate mine. She said she was afraid I was going to try to eat the decorations. I wouldn’t have eaten them unless they tasted better than the tree.

This is my first year inside. I don’t really know what Christmas is all about. There’s a much bigger tree downstairs but I can’t go down there. The lady cats are still kind of afraid of me. Mom and my human brother are trying to work that out. I’m sorry I’m going to miss the big tree. It would probably be fun to climb. And all kinds of sparkly things to play with. It’s wasted on the other cats.

I have a stocking. It’s kind of weird. It’s way too big for my paws. There’s nothing in it. Mom says that Santa Paws is going to put presents in it. I’m pretty excited. I’ve never had presents before. Mom helped me pick out presents for my new human brother and sister. This is going to be so much fun!

There’s a lot of wrapping paper and ribbons and bags and stuff laying around too. So much stuff to play with! Holidays are the best!

Mom says the little humans are going to be spending the night on Christmas Eve. Their parents are going to be sharing my room. I’m not really sure I like that. The little ones scared me the last time they were here. I think I might hide out in Mom’s room until they go.

We’re supposed to be getting special food. Yummy! The humans are having a goose. I hope I get some of that. Apparently, they aren’t serving any of my favorites from outside. But their stuff should be good too.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas. (Or at least a very nice weekend if you don’t celebrate Christmas.)