Tag Archives: cats

12

Angel Katt and the Cheeseland Elections – Part 2

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Hi everyone! It’s me, Angel Katt. I’m pleased to be bringing you the first debate in the Cheeseland election for Liaison to the Humans. You may recall that we have four candidates. You can look here if you want to refresh your memory. Today we will have three questions for the candidates to answer. At the end, you will have the opportunity to vote for whoever you think is the best candidate. Remember, you are voting for the candidates who will best represent the interest of the animals to the humans. The top two vote-getters will face off in the fall for the position.

a rat sitting at a computer typing on an excel | Stable Diffusion

Question 1: Is the blog too cat-centric?

Molly Mink – I do think that the blog could be improved by featuring a wider variety of animal perspectives. On the other hand, it appears that most of the audience are cats. That might change if there was a wider variety of posts. I’m not sure that any of my fellow minks even know about it.

Vinny the Rat – Of course it’s too cat-centric. It’s like everything else around here.  I want to advocate for a better distribution of everything. I’m not blaming the cats, but it has to change. I’d recommend that only 2 posts per month could be about the cats. The other two should be about other animals or other topics of interest to the general public.

Premium Photo | A happy golden retriever dog looks at a laptop in front of him at home

Thomas Tabby: Let’s not get carried away. The blog was started by a human who shares space with cats. I think we need to tread gently around any major change. I’m not sure telling her that the rats want more representation on the blog is going to be very popular. The cats are creating the content. We need to show that other animals can write well too.

Remy the Golden Retriever – I recommend that we all go out to the park and play in the fields. It won’t seem like such a big deal after we’ve been out there running around. Maybe we can get ice cream after that. Humans love ice cream.

Mink on a leash - YouTube

Question 2: Would you be in favor of curfews or leash laws?

Molly Mink – I’m confused about why we are even discussing this. What animal would agree to be put on a leash? I would never consent to being leashed or being told what time I need to be in my own home.

Vinny the Rat – I believe this is directed at the issue of young animals (mainly dogs) roaming at night. I would certainly feel safer at night knowing that I am not going to run into a bunch of over-excited hounds.

How To Leash & Harness Train A Cat - Benefits, Steps & Tips

Thomas Tabby – I think that most cats I know would prefer to have the dogs safely home before the beginning of the evening prowl. However, I also know that some of the humans want cats on leashes too to prevent the occasional snack of a favorite bird. I am truly offended by that idea.

Remy the Golden Retriever – No leashes, no curfews. Dogs should be free to do dog stuff whenever we need to do it.

Dog Park Etiquette Tips: Should My Dog Go to the Dog Park?

Question 3: Are too many places species-specific?

Molly Mink – I think this is an important issue for smaller animals. There are dog parks and cat cafes, but there is nothing for the rest of us. It would be wonderful if I could go to any groomer in my neighborhood to keep my beautiful fur shiny. However, most groomers won’t work on anyone smaller than a cat. I think it’s species-ism.

Vinny the Rat – I have to admit that I agree with Molly. There are virtually no popular places that will guarantee a rat’s safety. We really have to work on building communities that are inter-species.

Visiting the Biggest Cat Cafe in Japan | Cat Cafe MOCHA Lounge Shinjuku | ASMR

Thomas Tabby – I understand the desire for full community. I don’t think that most places are intentionally excluding certain groups. Sometimes predator and prey animals would prefer not to mingle. We need to find some common ground where everyone is welcome. 

Remy the Golden Retriever – I’m pretty sure that most dog parts only specifically exclude cats. Anyone else is welcome. I guess maybe we could work on that. It’s just that it’s hard to share space with someone who likes to tease you.

Angel – Okay everyone. That’s our four candidates. Please click on the link below to vote. And remember to vote early and often.

Click here to vote.

 

Sgt Stripes – I wanted to thank everyone for being so complimentary about my calendar. The winners of the contest were Da Tabbies O Trout Towne and Ms. Ellen at 15 and Meowing;

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Snoops: Update from the Home Front

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Greetings fellow felines (and your humans). Snoops here. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over eight months since the intruders arrived. They seem to have made themselves comfortable in my house. My human sister is okay, but those little humans need a volume control. Last night, the littlest one had a bad dream or something. At first he was upstairs, but then he came downstairs with his mom. Totally ruined my sleep.

He can be cute when he tries to feed me. I just wish he understood what cats like to eat. We really don’t like Mandarin oranges or fruit snacks. I think he might be trainable. His brother isn’t as loud, but he doesn’t really share. I think they could use some training to make them really useful.

The original arrangement for us cats was to have two of the visitors in our sun room with me and Kommando getting full run of the first floor. Then they would be gradually introduced to us.  Unfortunately, Kommando went over the Rainbow Bridge. Angel and Gypsy were not a good combination in the sun room. As near as we can tell, Angel was eating almost all of the food. Gypsy got really skinny before Mom said she should go upstairs. You’d never know she was so thin to look at her now.

That left me and Angel on the first floor. They decided to wait a little bit for the introductions because I was a little stressed out over Kommando, and the stupid fleas came back. Angel gets to come out once in a while now. I don’t really mind her. She doesn’t try to get in my face or sit with my humans the way some cats do. We pretty much ignore each other. And she is very attached to the littlest human so that’s a bonus.

I wish I could say the same thing about the cats upstairs. Onyx is my human sister’s therapy cat. So she’s been upstairs since the beginning. Of course, Sgt Stripes lives up there. And Gypsy has settled in up there too. No one is eating her food up there, so she’s filled out nicely. (Mom had been afraid that she might not make it because she had lost so much weight. But she looks good – for a dilute calico.)

Here’s the problem. Mom wants to open up the house so that we can go wherever we want. That’s supposed to be the step after Angel and I get used to each other. There are doors at the top of the stairs. They’ve been closed since Sgt Stripes arrived. It was a pretty good arrangement. Except the little humans know how to open the doors. (And apparently have not been taught how to close them.)

Gypsy’s been really good about staying up there. It’s the first time she’s actually had a specific human to care for, and she seems to be happy with the situation. On the other hand, Sgt Stripes and Onyx have been coming down pretty regularly. And they are not good at keeping to themselves. Onyx is the smallest cat on the household, but hisses at all the rest of us cats every time she sees us. It’s rather annoying.

Sgt Stripes is the biggest of all of us. He doesn’t hiss, but he wants to be friends with everyone. He’s always ready for a game of pounce. I do not want to be pounced on. He seems to be a little intimidated by me. I don’t think he has forgotten about how I jumped on him after he first got here. He had gotten loose and ran after Kommando. I had raised her from a kitten and wasn’t about to let him hurt her. He was probably trying to play, but he frightened her. That’s why we were segregated by floor.

I’m over the fleas and have gotten used to the boys. (I even let them pet me if I’m in a good mood.) Mom says all of us cats have to start getting along. I’m fine with that as long as they don’t try to interrupt my cuddle time or eat all my food. Or get in my space. They should probably have their own toys. And their own human. And I get first dibs on the best sun puddles. I’ll keep you posted.

     

Sgt Stripes here. I want to thank everyone for the nice things you said about me being a calendar cat. I’m going to choose the winners this weekend.

25

I Love My Calendar Cat Contest

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Greetings fellow felines. I, Sgt Stripes, have some very exciting news! I have been chosen as Mr. October for the PawPrint 2024-2025 Calendar. It features the picture at the top of this page. They are based in Dallas, Texas. A portion of everything they sell goes to animals: donations to animal shelters, animal food banks, assisting families with medical expenses, supporting spay/neuter clinics, and adoption/foster expenses.

With apologies to Neil Sedaka, my family has adapted his Calendar Girl into a song about me:

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat: 

Yeah, sweet gray tabby cat

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Each and every day of the year

(January) up to my paws in snow

(February) adoring stares where I go

(March) Cat TV returns and I smile

(April) the Easter Bunny comes and brings me treats

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

(May) Cat TV is on at night, all right!

(June) the glow of the moon lights the plants in bloom

(July) loud sky booms make me hide from the glows

(August) it’s hot and muggy but I don’t mind heat

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

(September)Autumn comes and leafs leap from all the trees 

(October) I’m October’s Calendar Cat Supreme! 

(November) We’ll give thanks that the humans have me

(December) I get presents ‘neath the Christmas tree

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur!             

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Yeah, sweet gray tabby cat

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Each and every day of the year

To help celebrate, we are going to send a copy of the calendar to two lucky winners. All you have to do is rewrite one verse of the song. I will pick the winners myself from the entries.  (They’re going to put the entries on the floor, and the two that I step on first will win.) You can either respond in the comments or email it to cat9984@ymail.com. The deadline is Friday, May 31, 2024, at midnight. Unfortunately, it is only open to humans with USA or Canadian addresses.

25

Google: A Cat’s Perspective

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Snoops: Hey Sarge! I have a bone to pick with your buddy, Mr. Google.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know if he eats bones.

Snoops: It’s just an expression. I mean that he’s messing something up really badly.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google? I don’t think so. He knows everything.

Snoops: Well, he doesn’t know cats.

Sgt Stripes: He most certainly does. If you ask him to show you stuff about cats, he comes back with lots of articles. I bet it’s millions of them.

Snoops: All I know is that when Mom gets a “Spotlight on Snoops” in her pictures, there’s always at least one picture of another cat.

Sgt Stripes: Ooh that is weird. Someone else must take pictures of a different cat named Snoops.

Snoops: Are you being intentionally annoying? It’s not another cat named Snoops. It’s the other calico that Mom takes pictures of.

Sgt Stripes: You think Mr. Google can’t tell the difference between you and Gypsy? That’s ridiculous. He’s smarter than that.

Snoops: You’re right. I don’t understand it either. We don’t look anything alike.

Sgt Stripes: Well, you are both girl cats. And you both have three colors.

Snoops: We do not look alike. I’m a beautiful traditional calico with black, white and orange. She’s dilute – I’m pretty sure she’s grey, beige, and white. And her face is mainly one color all the way across. My face is split between all three colors.

Sgt Stripes: That doesn’t prove that Mr Google doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You guys must just look the most alike of all the cats Mom has pictures of.

Snoops: It’s embarrassing. I do not look like her.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s see what Mr Google has to say about calico cats. The first article says, “The calico cat is most commonly thought of as being 25% to 75% white with large orange and black patches; however, they may have other colors in their patterns.”

Snoops: So Mr Google says that I’m a true calico. It doesn’t say anything about cats with beige faces.

Sgt Stripes: Let me keep looking. It also says, “Dilute calicos have the same tri-colored coat that calicos have, but the dilute gene causes the colors to be muted and appear faded.”

Gypsy: Did I hear someone mention dilute calico? Here I am.

Sgt Stripes: Snoops was saying that Mr Google doesn’t know anything about cats because he mixed one of your pictures in with Snoops.

Snoops: Obviously we look totally different.

Gypsy: I agree. But I think he’s biased against dilute calico cats. I’ve been here for months and there’s never a “Spotlight on Gypsy.”

Sgt Stripes: That is a little bizarre. He loves me. I’m the chosen cat a lot.

Snoops: That explains why you like Mr Google so much.

Sgt Stripes: I guess that might be part of it. But I can find all kinds of great stuff with Mr Google. Like I found all kinds of cat videos. I like the rabbits and the string, but I could watch the birds all day.

Snoops: The rest of us don’t watch cat videos.

Gypsy: Actually I’ve never seen one. I might like it.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find toys and cat trees and all kinds of food.

Snoops: I think Mom might use Mr Google to help her with directions sometimes too.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find pictures of almost anything.

Snoops: Okay. Mr. Google might have some good qualities. But he really needs to learn how to identify cats. We are each unique beautiful creatures.

21

Sgt Stripes Looks for a Few Good Cats

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Hello! Sgt Stripes here. Recently, I was looking at all of the open jobs posted by where Blondie works. There are a lot of them! (She works for a large healthcare company, so she isn’t too affected by these openings). But all of these jobs seemed really boring, and definitely not designed for cats. Which was really disappointing, since I like to keep my options open. So after some digging, I found some more feline friendly help wanted ads. 

Attorney 

We at Ears and Tails, PLLC, are looking for an experienced Attorney at Paw to join our team. While experience is not necessary, the proper candidate should be able to do the following: 

  • Stare intensely at the opponent until they are too uncomfortable to continue
  • Be okay with refusing to compromise or back down
  • Be prepared to fight with claws and hissing, if necessary 

 Benefits include two paid naps per shift, a cozy office with plenty of sunspots, and treat bonuses monthly. Salary will be paid in mackerel, tuna, and sword fish. Please email your resume and cover letter to earsandtailscatresources@catmail.com. 

Mental Health Provider

Management at Therapurrs are seeking to add a new therapawist to our team. In a rapidly growing field, Therapurrs is expecting to expand our client base by over 40% in the upcoming year, and we’re seeking the purrfect cat to help us do this. The right candidate will be able to:

  • Sit (or lay) for extended periods of time
  • Pretend like they are listening and like they care
  • Can keep their judgements silent and somewhat contained out of their facial expressions
  • Will only make, at maximum, 50% of a client session about themselves

Benefits include lots of comfortable blankets and furniture, team lunches, and a positive environment. Salary will be paid monthly in treats. Please email your resume and cover letter to doctorpaws@therapurrs.com. 

Why Do Cats Like Fish?

Nutritionist 

Tired of seeing humans cooking the same yucky foods over and over? Join PounceNutrition as a nutrition consultant, and help put an end to the spinach and lentil dishes! In this fast paced job, you’ll work with different humans 5 nights per week to help them establish a healthy, yet tasty, meal plan! Say goodbye to spinach pies and lentil stews! With your guidance, humans will learn the benefits of chicken, fish, ham, and so much more! The ideal team member will be able to: 

  • Eat a minimum of 3 pieces of protein (plant based excluded) in one sitting
  • Properly turn their noses and tails up at any vegetable, fruit, or legume
  • Swat offending foods off the table
  • Meow in appropriate dialects to indicate approval of a prepared food

Benefits will be based on protein preference, but will include performance based bonuses of preferred proteins, a membership to BirdShack, your local poultry club, and a large bed to lay in (after you complete 10 days of work). Salary is based on experience and will be paid in preferred proteins. Please email your resume and cover letter to pouncecatseat@catmail.com. 

Premium Photo | A cat sits at a desk in front of a drawing of a cat.

Marketing Manager

How many advertisements have been ruined by human ideas? Now is your chance to create the next best advert! Main Coon Markets is looking for a business savvy kitty with experience in the industry, and willingness to grow with the times! A good fit for our team will: 

  • Create cute, yet slightly snarky, slogans 
  • Sell what they have without effort 
  • Boost sales and views

While experience isn’t required, it is recommended, as this is a very claw to the top industry. If you are accepted for an interview, salary and benefits will be discussed then. Please email your resume, cover letter, and 3 examples of work to maincmarketcats@catmail.com. 

Can I stop my cat from hunting? - BC SPCA

Mouser

The city of Weeping Whiskers is in urgent need of a new mouser to keep our streets clean. We are willing to train the right cat, although a natural talent for hunting will put you at the top of our list. Hours vary based on need, although are typically from 10p-6a, 7 days per week. Breaks are permitted as needed. Our municipal mouser must: 

  • Be able to stalk and wait patiently 
  • Pounce and kill when the time is right
  • Dispose of any body or mess created

Benefits include having all of the mousie bits your heart desires, and being beloved by all of Weeping Whiskers! Interested parties may contact Mayor Purrball at purrball@weepingwhiskers.com. 

Model

If you’re a cat, you’re already beautiful (or handsome, for our man cats out there)! Now get paid to show off! Fluff Model Management is always looking for beautiful new talent. All sizes, shapes, patterns, and colors accepted (although gray tabbies may have a slight advantage due to some casting director biases). Pay is based on the job you are given. Please email at least 5 pictures and your stats to fluffcatmodels@catmail.com. If you do not hear back within 90 days, please email us again, as we are always looking for new models, and we may think you look better the second time around. 

 From Vim to the system clipboard in one command - DEV Community

IT Worker

CompuCat, Inc, are looking for kitties to add to our growing team of IT workers! Humans are notorious for not using their technology properly; join us as we show them how to flop on the keyboard, open up multiple tabs at once, dim the screen, and close whatever they had open, making it vanish forever. Training will be provided. Benefits include a warm workspace. Pay will be discussed at the interview and is contingent on experience and education. Email your resume and cover letter to CalCompuCat@catmail.com. 

Security Guard

An alarming trend of stray hair ties, loose rubber bands, rogue tissue rolls, and dangerous fluff balls has been plaguing our area. Be a part of the solution with a great team in a growing industry! Sassy Cats Security is looking for bright, high energy guards to help keep our houses safe from these menaces. Each cat may keep what he or she captures at the end of each shift. Techniques should include stalking and pouncing, leaping and capturing, and rolling and nibbling. This job is appropriate for all ages and skill levels; training for our youngest kittens will be provided. Salary will be paid in catnip or silver vine. Interested applicants should email the head hunter, Borris, at borriscat@sassycatssecurityco.com. 

Why Do Cats Knead?

Massage Therapist 

Kneading Paws is seeking a strong cat cat for deep tissue massage services. Our ideal cat will have wonderful kneading skills, deep, penetrative paws, and a healthy weight to support their skillset. Tips will be a part of your salary, which will be paid in kibble variations. All interested candidates should send their qualifications, resume, and cover letter to kneadingpawstalent@catmail.com. 

And there you have it! These look much better for cats! If any of my feline friends are interested in a job, or know of a job that needs filling, let me know and I’ll be happy to help out!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

Dear Tabby: Cheeseland’s Favorite Advice Columnist

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Sgt Stripes here. I was talking to my cousin the other day about my new job as a writer on the blog. She said that she writes a blog too. She said that she gives advice to other kitties. She said that she had even posted here one time. I was looking through the archives, and she was right. My cousin is Dear Tabby! You can see her earlier work here.

I asked her to answer whether she’d like to answer some questions for our readers. She said that she would be happy to help. She offered to post some recent answers here so you’d know the kind of thing she’s good at.

Here's how your cat experiences the world

Dear Tabby – I’m a 4-year-old lady cat; I would describe myself as pretty shy. I spend most of my time watching Cat TV and chasing the red dot. My human decided that I needed a playmate. I don’t really understand why. I thought that we had a pretty good thing going, Last week, she brought home a kitten. Why? I have no idea. The little guy is pretty cute, but all he does is run around. His favorite game is Pounce. I do not want to be pounced upon. How do I get him to leave me alone? Alone by Choice

Stalking And Pouncing In Cats: Reasons And Solutions, 59% OFF

Dear Alone – Have you thought about pouncing back? At this point, you are probably bigger than he is. Perhaps he won’t be so enthusiastic when he is the pounce-ee rather than the pouncer.

How to Make Your Kitten and Cat Become Friends | Everypaw

Dear Tabby – I am a stay-at-home mom with three adorable kittens. There are a few of us moms who have gotten close and we like to get together to let the kittens play. We are also available to kitten-sit if someone has an appointment or whatever. The issue is our neighbor. I’ll call her Eve. She works outside the home which is fine. However, whenever she has an issue with childcare, Eve just drops her kitten off with one of us without any notice. She says, “You’re home anyway. What’s one more kitten.?” That’s true, but she takes it for granted that we don’t mind and never offers anything in return or payment. We are starting to resent her attitude. How do we tell her nicely that we’d be happy to help in an emergency but we don’t want to be her back-up daycare? Stressed Out Mom

Kittens and Their Development - FOUR PAWS International - Animal Welfare Organisation

Dear Stressed Out – Have any of you ladies learned the word “no”?  You need to explain that your days are not just filled with sharing a saucer of cream and letting the kittens play. If this situation is occurring regularly, perhaps you could help her find more reliable childcare.

Does your dog or cat like to lounge in the sun? | NutriSource Pet Foods

Dear Tabby – I share a home with two other cats. We get along well enough except for one small issue. Where we live, it’s pretty gloomy during the winter with a lot of overcast skies. When spring finally arrives, it’s a battle for the good sun puddles. The prime spot shifts during the day. We’re pretty much okay with whoever gets there first having the spot. We are arguing over whether the cat that claims the spot should get to keep it if they get up for a kibble break. What is the proper etiquette? Sun Lover

188 Cats Who Love Sun More Than Anything | Bored Panda

Dear Lover – I recommend you get a timer. When the lucky kitty gets up, they turn on the timer. If they get back before the timer goes off, they get to keep the spot. Of course, this relies on you all agreeing to how long the break should be. I would advise something in the neighborhood of how long you usually spend at the litter box. Or you could find a larger sun puddle.

Can Cats Eat Carrots?

Dear Tabby – My wonderful boyfriend was told by the doctor that he needs to drop a couple of pounds. So he has started a new food. It seems to be giving him stomach issues. The litter box smells awful. I’m getting nauseated by the smells he’s passing. Should I tell him? Stinky Guy’s Girl

What's That Smell? - Perth Cat Hospital

Dear Girl – I imagine that he is aware of the issue. You can either stay someplace else until his body adapts or start wearing a gas mask.

Sgt Stripes here again. I can’t believe my cousin is so good at this. Does anyone have a question for her?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

19

Catbook Marketplace: Where Smart Cats Shop

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Greetings Fellow Felines! We don’t know about you, but we get really frustrated trying to shop in human stores. They really don’t carry the stuff that we’re looking for. Then we found Cat book Marketplace. It’s run by cats, for cats. Below is a sample on what you can find at the Marketplace.

Chonky Cat: Consider Your Cat's Health - The Tiniest Tiger

Plush Blanket

You won’t be able to tell where your fur ends and the blanket begins! It’s soft and warm and oh-so-comfy. You’ll be ordering all your meals in bed with this extremely plush blanket. Comes in a variety of colors. Get one to match your fur or collect the whole set. Orders shipped by Royal Cat.

Your Daily Cute: Two Cats Tuesday: Vote on Pimp & Moo's Halloween Costumes!

Alligator Halloween Costume

Must sell immediately. Thought my boyfriend would be adorbs, but he hated it. Must be out of the house by Monday. Will accept best offer. Contact Lydia at Catbook mail Princes$$ Lydia.

6 Cool Catsicle Recipes for Your Feline Friend – Neater Pets

Catsicles

Delicious frozen cat treats in a variety of flavors. Choose from Tuna Surprise, Poultry Delight, Mice Medley, and Beef Supreme. Buy one flavor or get a variety.  We only use the finest ingredients. All orders are made to order so you know your treat is fresh. Guaranteed delicious. Order from Cats’ Pleasure.

Wind & Weather One-Way Mirror Window Mount Bird Feeder | Bird feeders, Window bird feeder, Window mounted bird feeder

Cat TV Receiver

Beautiful window-mounted structure is guaranteed to give you hours of enjoyment watching cat TV. All you need to do is fill the side compartments with bird seed. Then sit back and wait for the birds to find it. Once they find the food, it will be a never-ending show. Get one for every room in the house. Bird seed sold separately. Sold by Birds-R-Us.

Premium Photo | Cute ginger cat listening to music with headphones on bed at home

Music for Cats

Tired of being forced to listen to human music? We have just the thing for you. We’ve compiled recordings that appeal specifically to cats. Selections include Music to Hunt By, Purred Poetry, Midnight Yowls, and Duets for You and Your Human. You can find our full selection at Kitty Mews.

Read a Book to Benefit Yourself and a Furry Friend! | ASPCA

The Truth about Tom and Jerry and Other Hollywood Tales

Does it annoy that the stupid mouse always seems to get the better of the poor cat? Do you ever wonder if Puss in Boots was really that lucky? Or why Tweety Bird was able to outsmart Sylvester every time? Find out the truth about them and many of your other favorite Hollywood cats. The Truth About Tom and Jerry was written by a rat named Simon who witnessed it all and is sharing it this fascinating book. Available through Kitty Mews.

My cat just noticed the fish tank. We like to watch the fish together now :) : r/Aquariumsl

Fish Tank

It’s the perfect way to keep the kittens entertained. Our fish tank will be the centerpiece of any room it’s in. You’ll be amazed at how relaxing it can be to watch fish. Be sure that all the fish you put in it are safe for cats. (You never know when someone might get a little too excited.) Fish and accessories sold separately. All products are sold by Aquatics Limited.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.  

19

Snoops and Sarge Look for the Perfect Protein

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Sgt Stripes: Hey, Snoops! I need to ask you a question.

Snoops: I suppose. What’s up?

Sgt Stripes: I really like the person you call Blondie. But I think she might be lying to me.

Snoops: She is a human. You can’t really trust them.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. I have kinda noticed that. Anyway, do you think they’re ever going to get me a vole?

Snoops: Why do you want a vole?

Sgt Stripes: They were the tastiest treats when I lived outside. But they are NEVER on the menu here.

Snoops: That’s true. I’ve never had one. What is it exactly?

Sgt Stripes: It’s like a larger, plumper mouse.

Snoops: Ooh. That does sound delicious. We have some pretty big mice around here when the seasons change.

Sgt Stripes: I’ve only seen a couple upstairs.

Snoops: Yeah. We don’t have as many as we used to. Kommando and I were a great team. She’d flush them out, and I’d finish the job.

Sgt Stripes: Anyway, Blondie said that she would talk to the other humans and get vole on the menu. But it never happens. Do you think she’s lying?

Snoops: I don’t think she’s lying exactly. I think she doesn’t want to disappoint you.

Sgt Stripes: That means no voles, right?

Snoops: Unfortunately, not.

Sgt Stripes: Rats!

Snoops: We don’t have any of those either.

Sgt Stripes: Hmm. Well I need protein to survive. What are my other options?

Snoops: Mom said you don’t like people food.

Sgt Stripes: You mean food made from humans? That sounds disgusting!

Snoops: No, silly. The food that humans eat.

Sgt Stripes: Well. They gave me some goose. That wasn’t bad. But I didn’t like the chicken they gave me.

Snoops: You need to be careful with food that our human brother cooks. It usually is mixed in with other weird stuff like tomatoes or beans. It’s really sad how badly he can mangle a chicken. He makes something called tikka masala. You can’t even tell it used to be chicken.

Sgt Stripes: He brings leftovers upstairs sometimes. They always seem to have a lot of beans or noodles or something burying the meat. Sometimes there isn’t even any meat.

Snoops: I know. It’s appalling, isn’t it? Do you like fish?

Sgt Stripes: I’m not sure. What’s a fish?

Snoops: They swim in water. They are pretty tasty.

Sgt Stripes: Maybe Blondie could get me one of those. I’d be willing to try it.

Snoops: Or maybe you’d like turkey. They only get the full turkey once a year, but you can get it from the store in slices. It’s pretty yummy. But my very favorite from the store is ham.

Sgt Stripes: What’s a ham?

Snoops: I’m not really sure. But you can get it in slices or a big hunk. I like the slices best. It’s the only edible part when the humans get pizza. I don’t get it very often. It’s like a treat.

Sgt Stripes: Before I moved into the house, I got to share some ice cream. It was extremely delicious. I haven’t seen any since. Do they still have that?

Snoops: They only eat that in the hot weather. But that’s coming up. Make sure you ask for it. The humans are okay with sharing, but they don’t always think about it.

Sgt Stripes: Okay. I want to try ham, turkey, fish, and ice cream. Thanks, Snoops! You were a lot of help. This might even make up for no voles.

Snoops: Glad to help. Now let me get back to my sun puddle.

30

The Great Kibble Caper

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Snoops here. Something nefarious is going on around here. And I mean to get to the bottom of it. Back in the good old days, Kommando and I got morning canned food and a never-ending supply of kibble. It was pretty pawsome. But some of you might remember that our new housemates took a fancy to our food and tried to eat it themselves. I’m talking about the humans, not the new cats.

So Mom tried to feed us early and take up our wet food when the small humans were around. It was pretty rough for awhile. If we didn’t eat our canned food when it was put down, it just disappeared. No more leaving a little for a mid-morning snack. And the never-ending kibble was only available at night. Not even close to being never-ending.

It was rough, but we adapted. We made Mom give us treats in the morning before she left for work. Fortunately, the small humans never got a taste of our treats, so those were pretty safe. And Kommando didn’t like to have the same treats every day, so we got a good variety. If she got bored, I’d get her treats after she walked away. It was actually a pretty sweet set-up.

Then, sadly, Kommando crossed the Rainbow Bridge to the Big Kibble Bowl. Mom and our human brother took the opportunity to re-assess the situation. Our human brother saw some kind of report or study or something that said how much kibble a cat should have by weight. Next thing we know, he’s saying that me and Sgt Stripes were getting too much kibble and he wanted to do something called “portion-control”.

We thought we were starving. And how dare he say that we were eating too much! Now I’m sharing my canned food with Gypsy every morning. But something weird is going on with the kibble. They keep one bag upstairs and one bag downstairs. Downstairs, I share with Angel. But I don’t think she really eats much. Upstairs, Sgt Stripes and Gypsy share a bowl, and our human sister has a community kibble bowl for Onyx and the other two cats up there.

But we’ve all been talking about it. The humans say they are filling the bowls daily. But the bowls are pretty much always empty. And we’re hungry.Our human brother insists that we are getting enough to eat. But if he’s feeding us enough, why are we always hungry?

You might remember that a couple of years ago, Kommando solved a mystery in The Big Catnap. You can read it here and here. So I tried to think like Kommando. But it made my brain hurt. She was a sweet kitty, but her logic eluded me sometimes.

I decided to talk it over with Sgt Stripes. The humans are convinced that he was Kommando’s nephew. (Kommando and his mom looked a lot alike. And they may have both been dropped off on our property at the same time.) He said that he wasn’t taking my kibble. He said everything seemed to be normal in the bowl in Mom’s room. He and Gypsy were sharing pretty nicely. But the community kibble bowl seemed to empty pretty quickly sometimes.

Hmm. So the two bowls that were out in the open were losing kibble. That means it wasn’t a cat doing it. Unless somehow Angel was getting out at night and raiding the other bowls. Probably not.  Even if she could get out of her room, the door to the upstairs is always shut. Except when that small human leaves it open. But Sgt Stripes and Gypsy try to come downstairs when that happens. And that usually alerts our human sister to go up and close it.

Think. Think. We’ve ruled out the cats and the adult humans. That only leaves the small humans. And they’re not eating our food anymore. But wait…

The smallest human is always looking for something to fill the containers he carries around. I mostly avoid him. He actually pets pretty well, but he is kinda loud and runs around a lot. But let me check it out.

I got near to him and he offered me the measuring cup he had. I sniffed. It was half full of kibble! I am reporting this to Mom immediately! Something must be done. We’re on starvation rations,, and he’s stealing them. She needs to fix this now!

20

Angel Katt & the Cheeseland Election

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Angel Katt here. You may have forgotten about me. I moved in with my sisters Onyx and Gypsy last fall, but am staying away from the other cats. I was supposed to be introduced to Snoops and Kommando Kitty. But then Kommando crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and we’re trying to let Snoops heal a little before I start sharing her space. I’ve been kinda bored, so Snoops thought that she’d give me an assignment for the blog.

 

The humans have been talking about this election thingy for awhile. We looked into it, but it’s all humans and really boring. We do have something similar in Cheeseland. We vote for a Liaison to the Humans. every two years. That animal is responsible for bringing any grievances we have to the humans. It’s become pretty much ceremonial, since Snoops is pretty much Empress of the Household. She generally gets what she wants.

Nevertheless, it is election year for us, and we have four candidates running. I interviewed them and got some insight into why they think they should get the job.

Mink animal, Adorable cute animals, Paws and claws

Molly Mink

Who She Is – A native of Cheeseland, Molly’s great grandfather was hunted for his fur (He escaped and made it to Cheeseland). She wants to make sure that the humans don’t get any crazy ideas about themselves looking better in fur than the rightful owners. She has a small family, and works at the post office. Molly has some experience in labor negotiations which she feels make her the perfect candidate.

What She’s Promising – A more well rounded diet. She promises plenty of  fish and a vole in every pot. There won’t be any protein shortages during her tenure. She’s thinking about banning lentils and soybeans so animals won’t need to worry about getting beans when they think they’re getting meat.

Where You Can Meet Her – She’s a school mom, so you can usually find her at The Mark Twain Academy where she volunteers. She is also doing a meet-and-greet at the Smaugland Megastore next Thursday at 7 pm.

12 Photos That Will Change Your Mind About Rats | PETA

Vinny the Rat 

Who He Is – A recent transplant from New York City, Vinny wants everyone to know that he’s not afraid of anything. He comes from a large family and is hoping to find his true love out here. He thinks he’s the only candidate running who is capable of going head-to-head with the humans to get animals their fair share.

What He’s Promising – A more equitable distribution of goods among the non-cat population. Vinny feels strongly that the rodent population of Cheeseland is seriously underserved by the current arrangement. He is looking into a partnership with larger animals who may feel that they are not living their best life in Cheeseland.

Where You Can Meet Him – He is generally found around Main St. He likes to be surrounded by buildings; they remind him of home. He also forages regularly behind Tortelli’s Pizzaria and Smaugland. He will not be at Smaugland on Thursday. He has graciously left it open for Molly Mink that day.

What Exactly Is A Tabby Cat? Fun Facts About These Beloved Cats

Thomas Tabby

Who He Is – Thomas lives in the Clydesdale Meadows section of Cheeseland. He is an executive at Cheeseland Bank & Trust. He is married to his high school sweetheart and they currently have three kittens at home.

What He’s Promising – Regular inter-species communication. Thomas thinks that the animals aren’t getting what they deserve because there’s so much fighting between species. He wants to bring everyone together to present a united front to the humans.

Where You Can Meet Him – He finishes work around 4 pm and heads for the Pounce Park. You can generally find him there any weekday. Additionally, He is doing a meet-and-greet next Tuesday at the Mousterpiece Theater on Elm St. at 5:30 pm.

Golden Retriever | Seven Hills Veterinary Hospital, Inc

Remy the Golden Retriever

Who He Is – Remy is the youngest son of Edward Gooddog, long-time owner of the Kibble Stop restaurant. He is currently employed as a Customer Service Specialist at Barkham’s Arcade. Remy is a second-generation Cheeseland resident.

What He’s Promising – More parks and green space. Remy believes that the humans are taking up too much space. They need to moved around so there are more places for the animals to have fun.

Where You Can Meet Him – He spends most of his free time at the Park-and-Bark dog park. And he’d be happy to meet you over a cold bowl of water.

There you have it, everyone. These are our candidates for Liaison to the Humans. If you’re registered to vote in Cheeseland, remember to vote for your choice in November.

I hope that we still have all four candidates by this fall. I’m not really sure that they understand that they won’t really have much power to change things radically. The humans listen, but they don’t really do anything unless they want to. And it’s unpaid. And they only get a desk in the Adventures in Cheeseland office; there is no private space.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.