19

Five-Alarm Cat Fight

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Hi Everyone. Snoops here. Mom says I should change the title of this post. It’s actually about five cats trying to share space. There wasn’t really any fight. Just a lot of irritation.n

Sgt Stripes: I agree it’s been rather irritating around here recently.

Snoops: What are you talking about. You’re the source of the problem.

Angel: I agree. Things were running pretty smoothly with you, Onyx, and Gypsy upstairs. While Snoops and I got the first floor.

Sgt Stripes: I beg to differ. You two might have been doing okay. But it was getting kind of crowded upstairs.

Gypsy: What do you mean? I thought it was pretty nice. You and I shared two bedrooms and Gypsy shared with Blondie.

Sgt Stripes: You have a weird definition of sharing. Everyone knows that the male human is mine. We like to spend time doing guy stuff. And you kept going into his room and taking the prime spot on his bed. And you would never leave, even when I asked nicely.

Gypsy: Well, you spent a lot of time with Blondie. You don’t get to have two humans

Snoops: Calm down. I think the real problem was with Blondie. She went out of town for a couple of weeks. That left two humans with two small humans and five cats. There definitely weren’t enough humans to go around.

Gypsy: Don’t forget that the male human went away too. It was only one adult human and the rest of us.

Onyx: That was awful. I was really lonely.

Sgt Stripes: All I know is that Gypsy started hogging my human. I needed to find more space. The one thing the little humans are good for is leaving the door between the upstairs and downstairs open. I decided that I was going to go down every time I had the chance.

Snoops: Yeah. It was pretty annoying. For a while, every time I looked at the stairs, you were there. It was rather unpleasant. I had to wait for someone to take you back upstairs several times each day.

Sgt Stripes: Then it finally happened. Mom was the only adult human home. And the two small humans kept leaving the door open. So she decided that it would be easier to just let us sort it out. It was great.

Snoops: Speak for yourself, Sarge. Angel and I tried to set boundaries. We hissed when you got too close. And with all the space, you still wanted to be with us all the time.

Sgt Stripes: That’s true. You two were not really very friendly. My feelings really got hurt. I just want to be buddies.

Angel: I was just getting used to living with Snoops. Then you came along. And Onyx.

Onyx: I agree with Sgt Stripes. It’s great having all this room. And there are so many places to explore. And I thought I might be in the market for a new human.

Angel: Your human came home. It’s time to go back upstairs.

Onyx: I think I like it better having full run of the house. Besides, Gypsy is still upstairs. She’s kind of grumpy.

Gypsy: I’m not grumpy. Sometimes, I just want to be alone.

Sgt Stripes: You should try coming downstairs. There’s all kinds of stuff to explore.

Gypsy: You just want me to get out of “your” human’s room. I am perfectly happy upstairs by myself.

Sgt Stripes: He is my human and you’re mean to not let me spend time in there anymore.

Gypsy: What are you talking about? Snoops even came into his room.

Snoops: That’s right. There is excellent Cat TV in that room.

Sgt Stripes: Now that all of the humans are back, maybe we can each start getting the attention we deserve.

Snoops: I think it’s going to take some time to get used to you hanging around all the time. I’m spending time on the enclosed porch to get away from you.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. I’m not allowed out there. Mom says you need “alone” time. I don’t really get it, but she’s pretty definite about it. Hope you get over it soon.

Onyx: You know. If we can all get along, I bet we could get more from the humans.

Sgt Stripes: I like the way you think, Onyx

25

Arthur’s Big Adventure

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Hello. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Arthur MacArthur the Cat. I respond to many names, including Arthur Baby, Prince Arthur, and Stinky Orange Boy.
I lived a hard life on the streets, starving and sick, until Mom and Granddad noticed my plucky attitude and natural charm, scooped me up, and took me inside.
After that (and some visits to the nice cat doctor and all his adoring friends) things were much better. I got warm snuggles, wet dinner every night, and tons of things to play with. I grew very long with all the delicious food and fun exercise!
Mom got me so many wondrous gifts to match my elevated status as housecat.
One of my favorite things to do is survey my kingdom from my newly acquired castle. There’s so many windows here from which I can relax and safely watch the goings-on of lesser beasts. The best part are the thin screens, which let me hear and smell my holdings most effectively.
Alas! These ingenious devices became my literal downfall two weeks ago. One morning, I laid in my usual spot in the window, my body pressed close to the screen in order to enjoy the summer breeze. Suddenly, the screen and window frame separated below me and I fell.
Oof! Ouch! The indignity! Bewildered and vulnerable in the wide-open backyard, I darted to the safety of a nearby tree.
Once I had climbed the tree, however, I realized the opportunity that had serendipitously come to me. A world of exploration awaited, starting with the top of this tree. I crawled and jumped higher, until the branches of the tree met with a roof.
Yet more opportunity for adventure! I jumped down to the roof, hoping to view even more of my domain from the new vantage point. But the moment my paws touched the shingles, I immediately filled with panic and regret. Too steep! It took all my skills just to cling to the sharply inclining angle. Even for a cat as graceful and acrobatic as I, this roof was a terrible perch!
Trying to escape the roof was fruitless. Too high to jump down, too steep to jump back up to the trees. I called for help, to no avail.
Some time later, Mom and Granddad must have noticed I was gone, because they began to yell for me. I meowed my loudest again, but it seemed no one could hear me.
I thought eventually they would figure out that I needed their help to get down, but they gave up and went to sleep! The complete idiots! Worst night ever!
I could hear them searching the next day, and I resumed my pleas. I thought Mom had heard me finally, but after searching everywhere nearby BUT the roof above, she gave up again! It’s like she completely forgot I’m a talented climber.
Just when it was getting late, and I was resigning myself to spending another awful night on the roof, Mom came running out of the house again! She looked up this time, so I meowed my displeasure at the situation.
Unfortunately, I was still unsure how to remove myself from the roof. Luckily, Mom climbed a ladder and offered me some delicious wet food, so that part was taken care of easily.
Once back inside, I had a lot of sleeping and eating to do—not to mention cleaning—before I felt like my old self again. I caught a sniffle from my stressful, hungry night on the roof, and I dont intend to repeat such an experience. The outdoors are not what I remember! Or maybe my standards have changed due to my recent indoor lifestyle?
I’m so happy to be back I’m willing to overlook the mistakes Mom and Granddad made in their search. Their incompetence delayed my return significantly, but since Mom nearly fell off the ladder in the process of helping me, I can forgive any shortcomings.
So now things are back to normal. Except I no longer get to lay by the window screen.
Ed. Note – Arthur lives with a friend of our human brother.
22

Next Door Cheeseland

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Greetings. It’s Sgt Stripes. One of my new jobs at the blog is to moderate our Next Door page. Some of you may be familiar with Next Door. It’s a community site where neighbors share tips, concerns and questions about the neighborhood. I’m going to share some of our recent posts to let you see another side of Cheeseland.

Can Dogs Be Angry? · The Wildest

From Daphne P: Does anyone know the squirrels that keep throwing acorns in the Meadowview Apartment complex? I’m tired of being hit in the head while I’m trying to take a peaceful walk. I need to talk to whoever is in charge. Barking at them has done nothing to alleviate the situation.

Why Do Cats Hate Water? 5 Reasons & Tips for Bath Time

From Max K: Who is in charge of the sprinkler system at Alley Cat Country Club? Apparently, some of the water is motion activated? Does that make sense to anyone? Shouldn’t they turn on the water when no one is around? The fastest way to get home is across the lawn. But I’m tired of ending up soaking wet.

Beavers are dam important for the ecosystem | CBC News

From Diane L: Just a quick shout-out to Bert’s Better Building. We hired Bert’s team to create a wall to keep the water out of our basement. They were extremely professional, from the first phone call to the final mud-packing. And their prices are reasonable. We would recommend them for any water-related building needs you might have.

15 Animals That Love Strawberries | Pet guinea pigs, Guinea pigs, Cute guinea pigs

From Nature’s Bounty: Come see what the fuss is about. We have the freshest, tastiest berries in Cheeseland. Strawberries, raspberries, huckleberries and more. Once you’ve tasted our produce, you won’t want anything else. Bears and other large mammals are asked to show restraint in their behavior around the smaller, more timid customers.

Why Is My Cat Staring at Me? Top 5 Reasons Explained

From Marilyn M: Does anyone know this cat? He has been hanging out in Pleasant Valley subdivision for the past few days. He never says anything; he just stares creepily at the residents. When we try to talk to him, he runs away. We’re hoping he isn’t lost.

PsBattle: bunny in round glasses : r/photoshopbattles

From Joe C: I lost my sunglasses on Friday while I was at the Melvin Anders skate park. Has anyone seen them? They were a gift and have a lot of sentimental value. You can respond here if you know anything.

Bringing Home Baby (Cat): 5 Essential Tips for Success | Commonwealth Veterinary Hospital

From Mittens K: Looking for someone to help me with my kittens. They’re adorable, but they are so much work! Ideally, it would be an older mother cat who is looking for something to do or a young cat who is looking for experience. I can’t afford to pay a lot, so if you’re in it for the money, this isn’t the job for you.

It’s Sgt Stripes again. Hope you enjoyed seeing a little of our Next Door. Talk to you soon!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

22

A Tale of Two Tabbies

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Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes. I’m here with one of my favorite tabby cats, Thunder! As you may know, Thunder was a frequent contributor to our blog until recently. I’m here to interview her and find out what’s been going on with her. 

Sgt Stripes: Hi Thunder! Long time, no talk. It’s been pretty quiet with just one tabby around here. 

Thunder: Hey Sarge! It has been a while since I last wrote… a lot has happened in my human’s life, which has affected me greatly. 

Sgt Stripes: So I understand. At least you’re still beautiful… almost as beautiful as me! 

Thunder: Thanks… I think. 

Sgt Stripes: So, what’s been going on? Can you give us an update? 

Thunder: Well, you should know most of it. After all, 3 of my 4 humans ended up with you. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, I noticed. I’m willing to keep Blondie, and probably the mini blonde human that gives me pets and tries to feed me. But you can have the other mini human back. He’s loud. And they’re both smelly. I don’t know why you let them touch you. 

Thunder: You get used to it. And you learn where all of the really good hiding spots are. But they also have a lot of stuff that comes in boxes or is good to nap on, so it balances out. 

Sgt Stripes: If you say so. So, what’s been going on? 

Thunder: Well, in September, both of the mini humans had a birthday. They’re kind of like Got You Days, except for the inferior species. And the older one, his birthday went pretty well. But the younger one… 

Sgt Stripes: Went not as well?

Thunder: Exactly. See, they both got cakes baked for them. The cake lasted more than one day, though, so the humans were eating it even after their birthdays. And on one of these days, the oldest mini human was tired, and not in the mood for cake. So he threw it on the ground. 

Sgt Stripes: He does that here sometimes, too. According to Snoops, he never gives anything good though. It’s usually pasta or fruit. 

Thunder: That sounds gross. After he threw the cake on the ground, the big humans started yelling. They yelled mostly at each other. They called it fighting. They’d been fighting a lot, especially over the past year. But I don’t know why they called it fighting when there was no hissing. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, humans are weird. 

Thunder: So they fought, and I just thought it was going to be another loud night. But then the next morning, they were still fighting. I tried to sleep through it. Human fights are boring. 

Sgt Stripes: Agreed. Most human activities are. 

Thunder: They went off to work like normal. Usually, when they went to work, they were gone for hours and hours. Sometimes I thought they’d gotten lost at the hospital they worked at. 

Sgt Stripes: It wouldn’t surprise me. Blondie has a horrible sense of direction. 

Thunder: Well, Blondie came home a few hours later. She told the babysitter that she had to take the mini humans and move in with her mom. That she and my human were getting a divorce. 

Sgt Stripes: That must have been the day my world got turned upside down. But I don’t get it. I’d rather have you than the mini humans. So how did I end up with two monsters and no tabbies? 

Thunder: Well, Onyx, Angel, Gypsy, and I were alone that night. And the night after. Apparently you live pretty far from me. Like, it would take hours to walk. It almost takes a full hour to drive. 

Sgt Stripes: That’s a long time to be stuck in a car. 

Thunder: Yeah. Well, a few days later, she came back with her brother (I think he’s your human). And she got Onyx, Angel, and even Gypsy. But she left me all alone. I was very sad. And lonely. And I wasn’t sure what was going on. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, she made the wrong choice. I think I’d like you better than at least Angel. And we could play Pounce! 

Thunder: Ooh, yeah. I love playing! But, as I’m sure you know, she didn’t take me. It turns out that I had to go with my human, and the other 3 had to go with their human (Gypsy didn’t really have a human, but the mini blonde human is really attached to Angel, and Blonde is really, really attached to Onyx). 

. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, if Gypsy didn’t have a human, couldn’t you two have stayed together? 

Thunder: No, there are… outside factors… that prohibited her from staying with me. 

Sgt Stripes: Is it her dilute coat? Snoops says that should disqualify her from being a calico. 

Thunder: No. It’s worse than that. I had to move in with two dogs.

Sgt Stripes: Dogs? Really? You poor thing!

Thunder: Yes, it’s been traumatic. Apparently, my human had to move in with his stepmother. And she has two dogs that have been here forever. The only good thing is, I get total run of the basement. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, that’s a bonus. But why did you stop writing? While I certainly don’t mind being the star tabby, I’m sure that people miss you. 

Thunder: And I miss them. But my publisher was Blondie, and she’s gone. She doesn’t even stop by to get new photos of me. 

Sgt Stripes: Speaking of that, Mr Google thinks you and I are the same cat. We should really talk to him. 

Thunder: Yeah, my tail is far superior. But without contact with Blondie, there’s no real opportunities for me to write for the blog anymore. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh. That’s sad, but that makes sense. Do you miss it? 

Thunder: Sometimes. I liked the people. And it was fun. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, maybe every so often, we can Zoom and do an interview. I like Zoom! 

Thunder: That would be pawsome! 

Sgt Stripes: Well, thank you for your time. Keep being beautiful, and I sure we’ll talk again in the future. 

Thunder: Thank you, Sarge. Keep the pawsome purrsonality.

Can you tell who is who?

21

Snoops and Angel: Peace in Our Time

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Angel Katt here. I wanted to tell you some very exciting news. Cat and Blondie decided that it was time to let me out of the Sun Room to explore the rest of the first floor. (Actually I can go in the basement too, but it has some kind of leak so no one wants to go down there until that is fixed.) And you know what that means: I’m sharing space with Snoops, head cat around here.

Snoops: Yes, it’s true. I’m sharing the blog with Sgt Stripes, but I’m sharing the first floor with Angel. And I have been very gracious, if I do say so myself.

Angel: I’ve really wanted to get out for a while, but I was a little nervous. Every time Sgt Stripes tries to come downstairs, Snoops hisses at him and chases him away.

Snoops: He made a huge mistake when he first got here. He chased Kommando Kitty and scared her half to death. I had to jump on him to let her escape. I raised Kommando from a tiny kitten. That will not be forgotten.

Angel: They finally let me out two weeks ago. It happened over the weekend. Mom wanted to make sure Snoops wasn’t going to try to eat me or anything.

Snoops: Eat you? You are a LOT bigger than me. They were probably afraid you were going to sit on me. Everyone in the house knows that the reason Gypsy got to stay upstairs was because you were starving her.

Angel: I was not starving her. I can’t help it that I ate faster than her.

Snoops: You ate her food after you finished your own. You were intimidating her so you could eat her food.

Angel: I wasn’t intimidating her. I was just watching her food carefully so it didn’t go to waste. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She’s upstairs and happy. And I’m downstairs and happy.

Snoops: You’ll notice that Mom is making sure you don’t try to steal my food. Not that I couldn’t take care of you myself.

Angel: No one is trying to eat your food. Sometimes, Blondie forgot to feed us. It’s no wonder it turned into cat-eat-cat in the sunroom.

Snoops (appalled): You tried to eat her? That’s horrible!

Angel: It’s just a figure of speech. I wouldn’t have eaten her. She got too bony. And it’s against house rules.

Snoops is not amused.

Snoops: Anyway, once they let her out, I was very gracious to her. I didn’t hiss or growl. At least until she tried to take my favorite sun puddle.

Angel: How was I supposed to know it was taken?

Snoops: I was lying in it!

Angel: Okay. You’re right. But we’re getting along pretty well.

Snoops: Much better than expected. We haven’t fought at all. And we hang out together in the dining room at the same time.

Angel: Yeah. It’s just a matter of time before we start cuddling.

Snoops: Don’t push your luck. I am tolerating you.

Angel: What’s up with that anyway? How come you haven’t been territorial with me?

Snoops: I’m not really sure. I think it has something to do with you crying in the sunroom before they let you out. I kinda felt sorry for you. And when you got out, you pretty much ignored me. I like that in a housemate. I’m still kinda lonely without Kommando.

Angel: You didn’t really take it seriously when I hissed at you a couple of times.

Snoops: I figured you wouldn’t be dumb enough to attack me in front of the humans. I’ve got seniority.

Angel: Yeah. You even ignored me when I batted your tail.

Snoops: I am the empress around here. It works best when I ignore small things.

Angel: But I’m allowed to stay, right?

Snoops: I suppose.

Don’t forget to vote November 7th

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14

Cheeseland Election Update

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Hello everyone. Angel Katt here. Thank you to everyone who voted in our primary election. As we expected, Thomas Tabby was the winner with 75% of the vote. The other three candidates split the rest of the vote evenly. To decide which candidate will run against him in the general election, we decided to have a trivia contest to see who knew the most about Cheeseland. Each correct answer is worth 1 point.

Here are the contenders:

American mink

Molly Mink

Rats: Facts about these thin-tailed, medium-size rodents | Live Science

Vinny the Rat

How To Care For Golden Retrievers | VIDA Veterinary Care

Remy the Golden Retriever

The position you are voting for is Liaison to the Humans. Who leads the humans in Cheeseland?

Molly Mink: I think her name is Mom. (1 point)

Vinny the Rat: Her name is Cat. That’s why everything is so cat-centric. But it’s kinda weird that we’ve never seen her.            (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: She is Snoops’ Mom. (1 point)

What is the first rule of the house?

Molly Mink : All animals are equal. (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: Don’t do anything to others that you wouldn’t want done to you. (0 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: No eating family. (1 point)

Where are the Cheeseland offices located?

Molly Mink: Somewhere in a place called Zoom. That’s where all my calls come from. (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: Cat’s an American. Somewhere in the US. (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Somewhere in Cheeseland. (0 points)

Who is Uncle Stu?

Molly Mink: A relative of Cat’s.  (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: I have no idea. (0 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: That alligator who keeps getting lost. (1 point)

How many felines live at the Cheeseland office? What are their names? (One point for the correct number and one point for each correct name.)

Molly Mink: There are five cats. Their names are Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, Gypsy, and I don’t remember the last one. (5 points)

Vinny the Rat: There are four cats: Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, and Onyx. (4 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Umm. Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, and Gypsy.(4 points)

Which cat is oldest and which is youngest?

Molly Mink: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Vinny the Rat: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Angel Katt: That was really close. Molly Mink had 7 points, Vinny the Rat had 7 points, and Remy the Golden Retriever had 8 points. The winners of the runoff is Remy the Golden Retriever. We’ll be back in the fall with the contest between Thomas Tabby and Remy the Golden Retriever.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

12

Angel Katt and the Cheeseland Elections – Part 2

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Hi everyone! It’s me, Angel Katt. I’m pleased to be bringing you the first debate in the Cheeseland election for Liaison to the Humans. You may recall that we have four candidates. You can look here if you want to refresh your memory. Today we will have three questions for the candidates to answer. At the end, you will have the opportunity to vote for whoever you think is the best candidate. Remember, you are voting for the candidates who will best represent the interest of the animals to the humans. The top two vote-getters will face off in the fall for the position.

a rat sitting at a computer typing on an excel | Stable Diffusion

Question 1: Is the blog too cat-centric?

Molly Mink – I do think that the blog could be improved by featuring a wider variety of animal perspectives. On the other hand, it appears that most of the audience are cats. That might change if there was a wider variety of posts. I’m not sure that any of my fellow minks even know about it.

Vinny the Rat – Of course it’s too cat-centric. It’s like everything else around here.  I want to advocate for a better distribution of everything. I’m not blaming the cats, but it has to change. I’d recommend that only 2 posts per month could be about the cats. The other two should be about other animals or other topics of interest to the general public.

Premium Photo | A happy golden retriever dog looks at a laptop in front of him at home

Thomas Tabby: Let’s not get carried away. The blog was started by a human who shares space with cats. I think we need to tread gently around any major change. I’m not sure telling her that the rats want more representation on the blog is going to be very popular. The cats are creating the content. We need to show that other animals can write well too.

Remy the Golden Retriever – I recommend that we all go out to the park and play in the fields. It won’t seem like such a big deal after we’ve been out there running around. Maybe we can get ice cream after that. Humans love ice cream.

Mink on a leash - YouTube

Question 2: Would you be in favor of curfews or leash laws?

Molly Mink – I’m confused about why we are even discussing this. What animal would agree to be put on a leash? I would never consent to being leashed or being told what time I need to be in my own home.

Vinny the Rat – I believe this is directed at the issue of young animals (mainly dogs) roaming at night. I would certainly feel safer at night knowing that I am not going to run into a bunch of over-excited hounds.

How To Leash & Harness Train A Cat - Benefits, Steps & Tips

Thomas Tabby – I think that most cats I know would prefer to have the dogs safely home before the beginning of the evening prowl. However, I also know that some of the humans want cats on leashes too to prevent the occasional snack of a favorite bird. I am truly offended by that idea.

Remy the Golden Retriever – No leashes, no curfews. Dogs should be free to do dog stuff whenever we need to do it.

Dog Park Etiquette Tips: Should My Dog Go to the Dog Park?

Question 3: Are too many places species-specific?

Molly Mink – I think this is an important issue for smaller animals. There are dog parks and cat cafes, but there is nothing for the rest of us. It would be wonderful if I could go to any groomer in my neighborhood to keep my beautiful fur shiny. However, most groomers won’t work on anyone smaller than a cat. I think it’s species-ism.

Vinny the Rat – I have to admit that I agree with Molly. There are virtually no popular places that will guarantee a rat’s safety. We really have to work on building communities that are inter-species.

Visiting the Biggest Cat Cafe in Japan | Cat Cafe MOCHA Lounge Shinjuku | ASMR

Thomas Tabby – I understand the desire for full community. I don’t think that most places are intentionally excluding certain groups. Sometimes predator and prey animals would prefer not to mingle. We need to find some common ground where everyone is welcome. 

Remy the Golden Retriever – I’m pretty sure that most dog parts only specifically exclude cats. Anyone else is welcome. I guess maybe we could work on that. It’s just that it’s hard to share space with someone who likes to tease you.

Angel – Okay everyone. That’s our four candidates. Please click on the link below to vote. And remember to vote early and often.

Click here to vote.

 

Sgt Stripes – I wanted to thank everyone for being so complimentary about my calendar. The winners of the contest were Da Tabbies O Trout Towne and Ms. Ellen at 15 and Meowing;

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Snoops: Update from the Home Front

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Greetings fellow felines (and your humans). Snoops here. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over eight months since the intruders arrived. They seem to have made themselves comfortable in my house. My human sister is okay, but those little humans need a volume control. Last night, the littlest one had a bad dream or something. At first he was upstairs, but then he came downstairs with his mom. Totally ruined my sleep.

He can be cute when he tries to feed me. I just wish he understood what cats like to eat. We really don’t like Mandarin oranges or fruit snacks. I think he might be trainable. His brother isn’t as loud, but he doesn’t really share. I think they could use some training to make them really useful.

The original arrangement for us cats was to have two of the visitors in our sun room with me and Kommando getting full run of the first floor. Then they would be gradually introduced to us.  Unfortunately, Kommando went over the Rainbow Bridge. Angel and Gypsy were not a good combination in the sun room. As near as we can tell, Angel was eating almost all of the food. Gypsy got really skinny before Mom said she should go upstairs. You’d never know she was so thin to look at her now.

That left me and Angel on the first floor. They decided to wait a little bit for the introductions because I was a little stressed out over Kommando, and the stupid fleas came back. Angel gets to come out once in a while now. I don’t really mind her. She doesn’t try to get in my face or sit with my humans the way some cats do. We pretty much ignore each other. And she is very attached to the littlest human so that’s a bonus.

I wish I could say the same thing about the cats upstairs. Onyx is my human sister’s therapy cat. So she’s been upstairs since the beginning. Of course, Sgt Stripes lives up there. And Gypsy has settled in up there too. No one is eating her food up there, so she’s filled out nicely. (Mom had been afraid that she might not make it because she had lost so much weight. But she looks good – for a dilute calico.)

Here’s the problem. Mom wants to open up the house so that we can go wherever we want. That’s supposed to be the step after Angel and I get used to each other. There are doors at the top of the stairs. They’ve been closed since Sgt Stripes arrived. It was a pretty good arrangement. Except the little humans know how to open the doors. (And apparently have not been taught how to close them.)

Gypsy’s been really good about staying up there. It’s the first time she’s actually had a specific human to care for, and she seems to be happy with the situation. On the other hand, Sgt Stripes and Onyx have been coming down pretty regularly. And they are not good at keeping to themselves. Onyx is the smallest cat on the household, but hisses at all the rest of us cats every time she sees us. It’s rather annoying.

Sgt Stripes is the biggest of all of us. He doesn’t hiss, but he wants to be friends with everyone. He’s always ready for a game of pounce. I do not want to be pounced on. He seems to be a little intimidated by me. I don’t think he has forgotten about how I jumped on him after he first got here. He had gotten loose and ran after Kommando. I had raised her from a kitten and wasn’t about to let him hurt her. He was probably trying to play, but he frightened her. That’s why we were segregated by floor.

I’m over the fleas and have gotten used to the boys. (I even let them pet me if I’m in a good mood.) Mom says all of us cats have to start getting along. I’m fine with that as long as they don’t try to interrupt my cuddle time or eat all my food. Or get in my space. They should probably have their own toys. And their own human. And I get first dibs on the best sun puddles. I’ll keep you posted.

     

Sgt Stripes here. I want to thank everyone for the nice things you said about me being a calendar cat. I’m going to choose the winners this weekend.

25

I Love My Calendar Cat Contest

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Greetings fellow felines. I, Sgt Stripes, have some very exciting news! I have been chosen as Mr. October for the PawPrint 2024-2025 Calendar. It features the picture at the top of this page. They are based in Dallas, Texas. A portion of everything they sell goes to animals: donations to animal shelters, animal food banks, assisting families with medical expenses, supporting spay/neuter clinics, and adoption/foster expenses.

With apologies to Neil Sedaka, my family has adapted his Calendar Girl into a song about me:

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat: 

Yeah, sweet gray tabby cat

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Each and every day of the year

(January) up to my paws in snow

(February) adoring stares where I go

(March) Cat TV returns and I smile

(April) the Easter Bunny comes and brings me treats

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

(May) Cat TV is on at night, all right!

(June) the glow of the moon lights the plants in bloom

(July) loud sky booms make me hide from the glows

(August) it’s hot and muggy but I don’t mind heat

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur! 

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

(September)Autumn comes and leafs leap from all the trees 

(October) I’m October’s Calendar Cat Supreme! 

(November) We’ll give thanks that the humans have me

(December) I get presents ‘neath the Christmas tree

Yeah, yeah, I have tabby fur!             

I love, I love, I love my awesome calendar pic! 

Every day (October) every day (October)

Of the year

(‘Specially October)

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Yeah, sweet gray tabby cat

I love, I love, I love my calendar cat

Each and every day of the year

To help celebrate, we are going to send a copy of the calendar to two lucky winners. All you have to do is rewrite one verse of the song. I will pick the winners myself from the entries.  (They’re going to put the entries on the floor, and the two that I step on first will win.) You can either respond in the comments or email it to cat9984@ymail.com. The deadline is Friday, May 31, 2024, at midnight. Unfortunately, it is only open to humans with USA or Canadian addresses.

25

Google: A Cat’s Perspective

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Snoops: Hey Sarge! I have a bone to pick with your buddy, Mr. Google.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know if he eats bones.

Snoops: It’s just an expression. I mean that he’s messing something up really badly.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google? I don’t think so. He knows everything.

Snoops: Well, he doesn’t know cats.

Sgt Stripes: He most certainly does. If you ask him to show you stuff about cats, he comes back with lots of articles. I bet it’s millions of them.

Snoops: All I know is that when Mom gets a “Spotlight on Snoops” in her pictures, there’s always at least one picture of another cat.

Sgt Stripes: Ooh that is weird. Someone else must take pictures of a different cat named Snoops.

Snoops: Are you being intentionally annoying? It’s not another cat named Snoops. It’s the other calico that Mom takes pictures of.

Sgt Stripes: You think Mr. Google can’t tell the difference between you and Gypsy? That’s ridiculous. He’s smarter than that.

Snoops: You’re right. I don’t understand it either. We don’t look anything alike.

Sgt Stripes: Well, you are both girl cats. And you both have three colors.

Snoops: We do not look alike. I’m a beautiful traditional calico with black, white and orange. She’s dilute – I’m pretty sure she’s grey, beige, and white. And her face is mainly one color all the way across. My face is split between all three colors.

Sgt Stripes: That doesn’t prove that Mr Google doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You guys must just look the most alike of all the cats Mom has pictures of.

Snoops: It’s embarrassing. I do not look like her.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s see what Mr Google has to say about calico cats. The first article says, “The calico cat is most commonly thought of as being 25% to 75% white with large orange and black patches; however, they may have other colors in their patterns.”

Snoops: So Mr Google says that I’m a true calico. It doesn’t say anything about cats with beige faces.

Sgt Stripes: Let me keep looking. It also says, “Dilute calicos have the same tri-colored coat that calicos have, but the dilute gene causes the colors to be muted and appear faded.”

Gypsy: Did I hear someone mention dilute calico? Here I am.

Sgt Stripes: Snoops was saying that Mr Google doesn’t know anything about cats because he mixed one of your pictures in with Snoops.

Snoops: Obviously we look totally different.

Gypsy: I agree. But I think he’s biased against dilute calico cats. I’ve been here for months and there’s never a “Spotlight on Gypsy.”

Sgt Stripes: That is a little bizarre. He loves me. I’m the chosen cat a lot.

Snoops: That explains why you like Mr Google so much.

Sgt Stripes: I guess that might be part of it. But I can find all kinds of great stuff with Mr Google. Like I found all kinds of cat videos. I like the rabbits and the string, but I could watch the birds all day.

Snoops: The rest of us don’t watch cat videos.

Gypsy: Actually I’ve never seen one. I might like it.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find toys and cat trees and all kinds of food.

Snoops: I think Mom might use Mr Google to help her with directions sometimes too.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find pictures of almost anything.

Snoops: Okay. Mr. Google might have some good qualities. But he really needs to learn how to identify cats. We are each unique beautiful creatures.