Category Archives: cats

19

Sgt Stripes, Therapist Extraordinaire

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Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes here. Today, I’m going to show you what one of my therapaw sessions looks like! 

Many of you know that I provide emotional support for Blondie (and the other humans in the house). But recently, I expanded my services to support outside animals as well. I’ve decided to show the transcript of one of my recent patients, Rebecca Rabbit. (She has signed a consent form.)

Sgt Stripes: Rebecca, welcome to my office! It is so nice to meet you. What can I help you with?

Rebecca: Hi, Dr. Stripes. I appreciate you seeing me. I feel depressed. And sort of like I’m being watched all the time. I hope you can help me. 

Sgt Stripes: I would love to help you! Why do you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: Well, I feel really tired. I have no energy, nor do I have a desire to do anything. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, that’s normal. I sleep for up to 16 hours a day! What else makes you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: I feel sad a lot. I can’t stop worrying about the potential carrot shortage that comes with the winter. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, I’d be upset too if I had to eat carrots and veggies. You should try vole. Or ice cream. They’re delicious! 

Rebecca: Uh… I don’t eat meat. Or dairy. I’m more of a vegan. 

Sgt Stripes: Okay, yeah, I’d be really depressed if I were a vegan. 

Rebecca: Um… okay, well, I also feel like I don’t accomplish enough. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. Just use your good looks and charm to get you through life. Now, I know you mentioned feelings of paranoia. Can you go deeper into that?

Rebecca: Yes. It’s the oddest thing. We just had a family of coyotes move in next to us, and I swear I overheard them discussing a recipe for rabbit pie. And I think the dad watches our every move. I always catch him staring at me and my family. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, can you blame them? You do look rather delicious. 

Rebecca: That’s not helping! 

Sgt Stripes: Sorry, sorry. Please continue. 

Rebecca: My mom tried to encourage me to be friends with the baby coyotes, but they keep talking about a chasing game. And I don’t like being chased. I’d rather go berry picking. 

Sgt Stripes: Ooh, we could play Pounce! I love Pounce!

Rebecca: NO! No, thank you. I’m not really sure if this is going to work out…

Sgt Stripes: Well, I think this is going well. Why would you say otherwise? 

Rebecca: I feel like you see me more as a potential toy, or even meal, than a client. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, it’s not my fault you appear to be a meal or a toy. I’m just giving you advice based on how you present. 

Rebecca: I think this session is over. I really need to look into the therapy offered by the deer.

Sgt Stripes: Fine. But come back next week! I’ll teach you how to play Pounce! 

Rebecca: No. Thank you. 

Sgt Stripes: Fine. Well, it was really nice meeting you, Rebecca. Good luck in life.

Rebecca: Thanks, Sarge. Same to you. 

Don’t I make a pawsome therapawist? Let me know if you, or someone you know, could benefit from my services! 

16

Ask Snoops: Fact or Fiction – Election Edition

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Angel: I still can’t believe they replaced me with a gopher for the Cheeseland debate. It’s so unfair! That was my job.

Sgt Stripes: I wouldn’t worry about it. From what I hear, that dog is running a pretty shady campaign

Angel: Really? Because I’ve heard that Thomas Tabby isn’t as clean-cut as he likes to claim.

Sgt Stripes: He can’t be as bad as the dog.

Angel: I don’t know…

Gypsy: You guys should ask Snoops. She knows a lot. She can probably tell you who’s telling the truth.

Sgt Stripes: Maybe we will. Angel, tell Snoops what you’ve heard about Thomas.

Angel; Here’s the rumor: He has said that Tabocracy really means that Tabbies will be in charge of everything and that ultimately everyone will be speaking cat.

Snoops: There is no record of him ever saying that. Thomas wants all of the animals to cooperate with each other, but he has never said that would require a common language. I think that would be considered a false rumor.

Capybara - Wikipedia

Sgt Stripes: What else are folks saying about Thomas?

Angel: I’ve heard that Thomas has refused to hire certain species at the Bank and Trust.

Snoops: The Bank and Trust has been taken to court for showing favoritism toward cats. There is no evidence that Thomas was directly involved in any of the practices. He personally has a capybara as his assistant.

Angel: What about the rumor that one of his kittens is secretly working for Remy?

Snoops: That really isn’t much of a secret. His daughter is an intern on the “Ruff and Ready” communications team.

Sgt Stripes: OK. Enough about Thomas. What about the rumor that Remy is taking campaign contributions from known criminals?

Snoops: That is technically correct. Remy took a contribution from a bear who was involved in a money-laundering scheme several years ago. Once Remy understood where the money was coming from, he returned the contribution.

Sgt Stripes: Did Remy tell his supporters that the most fun he’s had with a cat was chasing it up a tree?

Snoops: That one is not easily defined. Remy is a Golden Retriever. When he was young, he occasionally chased cats. He says he doesn’t remember ever saying that, but he can’t guarantee that he did not. He says that it was a mistake to chase cats, and he would never do it today.

Sgt Stripes: Did he have a special “all dog” rally so he could say whatever he wanted to about cats?

Snoops: I would say that rumor is false. He did end up with all dogs at one of his events, but it was totally unintentional. Remy understands that he has to appeal to all voters, not just the canine ones. He is trying to be more careful about where he holds his rallies so all his supporters feel safe, not just the dogs.

Sgt Stripes: Last question. Does Remy have a group of attack dogs he’s using to intimidate the voters?

Snoops: There are dogs that have volunteered for that role. There is no evidence that Remy hired them.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s hope we have a safe, uneventful election.

Capybara courtesy of Google Images

16

Free Range Cats

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Snoops: Quiet down, everyone. I called this meeting of the Cat Council to figure out what we’re going to do with this week’s blog post.

Sgt Stripes: What does Mom want to do?

Snoops: That’s the problem. She’s been so busy watching the little humans for the past couple of weeks that I think she might have broken her brain.

Onyx: How do you break your brain? Is it permanent?

Snoops: I think it’s just an expression for when humans get really tired and don’t want to think anymore.

Sgt Stripes: Maybe we could write about how mean the lady cats are to me. All I want to do is play.

Angel: I thought that was going to get better when you got to come downstairs.

Sgt Stripes: I did too. The humans told me that you were a nice kitty. But you hiss at me every time I walk by.

Angel: Not every time. Some times I ignore you.

Sgt Stripes: I really wanted to be able to roam the whole house. But it’s really not working out the way I thought it would. I thought it was going to be great with all the extra space.

Snoops: It is kind of weird how it’s working out. Only three of us are even moving between the upstairs and downstairs.

Gypsy: I really like it upstairs. It’s more space than I’ve ever had. I don’t see any reason to go exploring. I have everything I need up there.

Angel: And I feel the same way about being downstairs. Everything I might need is on one floor.

Onyx: You guys should really move around more. I love being able to sleep on one of the beds upstairs and then go downstairs and roam around. There are a lot of places to jump.

Sgt Stripes: Onyx is right. The really good jumping opportunities are downstairs.

Gypsy: I have plenty of spots to jump onto upstairs. I feel much more secure staying upstairs right now. Maybe I’ll go downstairs at some point, but I’m happy with the way things are.

Snoops: The part that really bugs me is how messed up the feeding schedule is. I know that Mom still serves the wet food before she goes to work, but sometimes I’m still in the basement because there’s a crowd.

Angel: She’s right. That big tabby cat is always lying in the kitchen.

Snoops: And he doesn’t even like wet food.

Sgt Stripes: I want to make sure I don’t miss out on anything. The kitchen is the center of everything that happens in the morning.

Snoops: Our household is not that exciting. What do you think you might miss?

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know, but something good might happen. And I want to be in the center of all the good stuff.

Snoops: Treats have gotten really messed up. It used to be that Sarge and I both got treats in the morning.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, but those Belleville cats want treats all the time. Onyx even knows how to open all of the containers.

Onyx: I always share the bounty with you.

Sgt Stripes: That’s true. I can’t complain about that. But I wish you liked other flavors. Creamy dairy is getting old.

Gypsy: You shouldn’t complain. Since you’re getting your treats downstairs, the humans forget about me sometimes.

Angel: That’s terrible! Maybe Onyx can teach you how to get your own..

Gypsy: Ooh. That’s a good idea!

Sgt Stripes: Sometimes I get double treats. One time with Snoops and one time with Onyx.

Onyx: Yeah. Mom isn’t very good about keeping track of when we get treats. We can usually get them twice a day if she’s really busy.

Snoops: That reminds me. Mom is pretty upset that no one is sleeping with her now that we can go wherever we want. She says she’s getting lonely.

Sgt Stripes: Why don’t you sleep with her?

Snoops: I don’t really go upstairs in the hot weather. What about you?

Sgt Stripes: I prefer to watch out the window. I want to keep everyone safe.

Angel: We’re all getting used to the new set-up. I bet Mom will have company when it gets colder.

The cats all nod and decide that life is pretty good.

Sgt Stipes: Time for a kibble break.

20

Cats in the Doghouse

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Hi everybody! It’s me, Onyx. The beautiful black house panther. I’ve been having a great time since they opened up the house a couple of weeks below. We all now have full run of the house. No more upstairs cats and downstairs cats. It’s just cats. I love it. I can go where I want, when I want. I”m still Blondie’s therapy cat, but now I can get treats downstairs from Mom too.

Sgt Stripes is enjoying the freedom too. He’s upstairs part of the time and downstairs part of the time. He particularly loves the downstairs windows. Snoops is upstairs part of the time now. The only ones that aren’t taking advantage of the extra space are Gypsy and Angel. Gypsy stays upstairs and Angel stays downstairs. Hopefully they’ll be moving around soon.

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Mom isn’t too sure about the new arrangement. We cats are adapting to each other at our own pace, but there have been a few hiccups. I’ll tell you about a few of them.

The Crime: Hissing at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure he doesn’t attack me or try to play pounce with me.

The Crime: Playing pounce on unsuspecting cats

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I just want someone to place with. I can’t believe I’m living with four other cats and no one wants to play with me.

The Crime: Growling at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I will never forgive him for scaring Kommando Kitty by running after her and pouncing

The Crime: Chewing through a bag of treats and opening a canister of treats

The Criminal: Onyx

The Excuse: I was hungry and those are my favorite thing to eat.

The Crime: Cornering Snoops on the litter box.

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I was just watching. I wasn’t going to touch her.

The Crime: Eating Snoops wet food if Snoops saves some for later.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure nothing is wasted.

The Crime: Licking everyone’s wet food before the owner can eat it.

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I keep hoping I’ll find some that I like.

The Crime: Hiding in rooms that are normally closed off (e.g., the front porch and the study).

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I need peace and quiet. No matter where I go, there’s another cat.

The Crime: Knocking things off the shelves and dressers

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I’m trying to make the house less cluttered.

Coming Next Week: The Great Debate:            

19

Five-Alarm Cat Fight

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Hi Everyone. Snoops here. Mom says I should change the title of this post. It’s actually about five cats trying to share space. There wasn’t really any fight. Just a lot of irritation.n

Sgt Stripes: I agree it’s been rather irritating around here recently.

Snoops: What are you talking about. You’re the source of the problem.

Angel: I agree. Things were running pretty smoothly with you, Onyx, and Gypsy upstairs. While Snoops and I got the first floor.

Sgt Stripes: I beg to differ. You two might have been doing okay. But it was getting kind of crowded upstairs.

Gypsy: What do you mean? I thought it was pretty nice. You and I shared two bedrooms and Gypsy shared with Blondie.

Sgt Stripes: You have a weird definition of sharing. Everyone knows that the male human is mine. We like to spend time doing guy stuff. And you kept going into his room and taking the prime spot on his bed. And you would never leave, even when I asked nicely.

Gypsy: Well, you spent a lot of time with Blondie. You don’t get to have two humans

Snoops: Calm down. I think the real problem was with Blondie. She went out of town for a couple of weeks. That left two humans with two small humans and five cats. There definitely weren’t enough humans to go around.

Gypsy: Don’t forget that the male human went away too. It was only one adult human and the rest of us.

Onyx: That was awful. I was really lonely.

Sgt Stripes: All I know is that Gypsy started hogging my human. I needed to find more space. The one thing the little humans are good for is leaving the door between the upstairs and downstairs open. I decided that I was going to go down every time I had the chance.

Snoops: Yeah. It was pretty annoying. For a while, every time I looked at the stairs, you were there. It was rather unpleasant. I had to wait for someone to take you back upstairs several times each day.

Sgt Stripes: Then it finally happened. Mom was the only adult human home. And the two small humans kept leaving the door open. So she decided that it would be easier to just let us sort it out. It was great.

Snoops: Speak for yourself, Sarge. Angel and I tried to set boundaries. We hissed when you got too close. And with all the space, you still wanted to be with us all the time.

Sgt Stripes: That’s true. You two were not really very friendly. My feelings really got hurt. I just want to be buddies.

Angel: I was just getting used to living with Snoops. Then you came along. And Onyx.

Onyx: I agree with Sgt Stripes. It’s great having all this room. And there are so many places to explore. And I thought I might be in the market for a new human.

Angel: Your human came home. It’s time to go back upstairs.

Onyx: I think I like it better having full run of the house. Besides, Gypsy is still upstairs. She’s kind of grumpy.

Gypsy: I’m not grumpy. Sometimes, I just want to be alone.

Sgt Stripes: You should try coming downstairs. There’s all kinds of stuff to explore.

Gypsy: You just want me to get out of “your” human’s room. I am perfectly happy upstairs by myself.

Sgt Stripes: He is my human and you’re mean to not let me spend time in there anymore.

Gypsy: What are you talking about? Snoops even came into his room.

Snoops: That’s right. There is excellent Cat TV in that room.

Sgt Stripes: Now that all of the humans are back, maybe we can each start getting the attention we deserve.

Snoops: I think it’s going to take some time to get used to you hanging around all the time. I’m spending time on the enclosed porch to get away from you.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. I’m not allowed out there. Mom says you need “alone” time. I don’t really get it, but she’s pretty definite about it. Hope you get over it soon.

Onyx: You know. If we can all get along, I bet we could get more from the humans.

Sgt Stripes: I like the way you think, Onyx

25

Arthur’s Big Adventure

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Hello. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Arthur MacArthur the Cat. I respond to many names, including Arthur Baby, Prince Arthur, and Stinky Orange Boy.
I lived a hard life on the streets, starving and sick, until Mom and Granddad noticed my plucky attitude and natural charm, scooped me up, and took me inside.
After that (and some visits to the nice cat doctor and all his adoring friends) things were much better. I got warm snuggles, wet dinner every night, and tons of things to play with. I grew very long with all the delicious food and fun exercise!
Mom got me so many wondrous gifts to match my elevated status as housecat.
One of my favorite things to do is survey my kingdom from my newly acquired castle. There’s so many windows here from which I can relax and safely watch the goings-on of lesser beasts. The best part are the thin screens, which let me hear and smell my holdings most effectively.
Alas! These ingenious devices became my literal downfall two weeks ago. One morning, I laid in my usual spot in the window, my body pressed close to the screen in order to enjoy the summer breeze. Suddenly, the screen and window frame separated below me and I fell.
Oof! Ouch! The indignity! Bewildered and vulnerable in the wide-open backyard, I darted to the safety of a nearby tree.
Once I had climbed the tree, however, I realized the opportunity that had serendipitously come to me. A world of exploration awaited, starting with the top of this tree. I crawled and jumped higher, until the branches of the tree met with a roof.
Yet more opportunity for adventure! I jumped down to the roof, hoping to view even more of my domain from the new vantage point. But the moment my paws touched the shingles, I immediately filled with panic and regret. Too steep! It took all my skills just to cling to the sharply inclining angle. Even for a cat as graceful and acrobatic as I, this roof was a terrible perch!
Trying to escape the roof was fruitless. Too high to jump down, too steep to jump back up to the trees. I called for help, to no avail.
Some time later, Mom and Granddad must have noticed I was gone, because they began to yell for me. I meowed my loudest again, but it seemed no one could hear me.
I thought eventually they would figure out that I needed their help to get down, but they gave up and went to sleep! The complete idiots! Worst night ever!
I could hear them searching the next day, and I resumed my pleas. I thought Mom had heard me finally, but after searching everywhere nearby BUT the roof above, she gave up again! It’s like she completely forgot I’m a talented climber.
Just when it was getting late, and I was resigning myself to spending another awful night on the roof, Mom came running out of the house again! She looked up this time, so I meowed my displeasure at the situation.
Unfortunately, I was still unsure how to remove myself from the roof. Luckily, Mom climbed a ladder and offered me some delicious wet food, so that part was taken care of easily.
Once back inside, I had a lot of sleeping and eating to do—not to mention cleaning—before I felt like my old self again. I caught a sniffle from my stressful, hungry night on the roof, and I dont intend to repeat such an experience. The outdoors are not what I remember! Or maybe my standards have changed due to my recent indoor lifestyle?
I’m so happy to be back I’m willing to overlook the mistakes Mom and Granddad made in their search. Their incompetence delayed my return significantly, but since Mom nearly fell off the ladder in the process of helping me, I can forgive any shortcomings.
So now things are back to normal. Except I no longer get to lay by the window screen.
Ed. Note – Arthur lives with a friend of our human brother.
22

A Tale of Two Tabbies

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Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes. I’m here with one of my favorite tabby cats, Thunder! As you may know, Thunder was a frequent contributor to our blog until recently. I’m here to interview her and find out what’s been going on with her. 

Sgt Stripes: Hi Thunder! Long time, no talk. It’s been pretty quiet with just one tabby around here. 

Thunder: Hey Sarge! It has been a while since I last wrote… a lot has happened in my human’s life, which has affected me greatly. 

Sgt Stripes: So I understand. At least you’re still beautiful… almost as beautiful as me! 

Thunder: Thanks… I think. 

Sgt Stripes: So, what’s been going on? Can you give us an update? 

Thunder: Well, you should know most of it. After all, 3 of my 4 humans ended up with you. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, I noticed. I’m willing to keep Blondie, and probably the mini blonde human that gives me pets and tries to feed me. But you can have the other mini human back. He’s loud. And they’re both smelly. I don’t know why you let them touch you. 

Thunder: You get used to it. And you learn where all of the really good hiding spots are. But they also have a lot of stuff that comes in boxes or is good to nap on, so it balances out. 

Sgt Stripes: If you say so. So, what’s been going on? 

Thunder: Well, in September, both of the mini humans had a birthday. They’re kind of like Got You Days, except for the inferior species. And the older one, his birthday went pretty well. But the younger one… 

Sgt Stripes: Went not as well?

Thunder: Exactly. See, they both got cakes baked for them. The cake lasted more than one day, though, so the humans were eating it even after their birthdays. And on one of these days, the oldest mini human was tired, and not in the mood for cake. So he threw it on the ground. 

Sgt Stripes: He does that here sometimes, too. According to Snoops, he never gives anything good though. It’s usually pasta or fruit. 

Thunder: That sounds gross. After he threw the cake on the ground, the big humans started yelling. They yelled mostly at each other. They called it fighting. They’d been fighting a lot, especially over the past year. But I don’t know why they called it fighting when there was no hissing. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, humans are weird. 

Thunder: So they fought, and I just thought it was going to be another loud night. But then the next morning, they were still fighting. I tried to sleep through it. Human fights are boring. 

Sgt Stripes: Agreed. Most human activities are. 

Thunder: They went off to work like normal. Usually, when they went to work, they were gone for hours and hours. Sometimes I thought they’d gotten lost at the hospital they worked at. 

Sgt Stripes: It wouldn’t surprise me. Blondie has a horrible sense of direction. 

Thunder: Well, Blondie came home a few hours later. She told the babysitter that she had to take the mini humans and move in with her mom. That she and my human were getting a divorce. 

Sgt Stripes: That must have been the day my world got turned upside down. But I don’t get it. I’d rather have you than the mini humans. So how did I end up with two monsters and no tabbies? 

Thunder: Well, Onyx, Angel, Gypsy, and I were alone that night. And the night after. Apparently you live pretty far from me. Like, it would take hours to walk. It almost takes a full hour to drive. 

Sgt Stripes: That’s a long time to be stuck in a car. 

Thunder: Yeah. Well, a few days later, she came back with her brother (I think he’s your human). And she got Onyx, Angel, and even Gypsy. But she left me all alone. I was very sad. And lonely. And I wasn’t sure what was going on. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, she made the wrong choice. I think I’d like you better than at least Angel. And we could play Pounce! 

Thunder: Ooh, yeah. I love playing! But, as I’m sure you know, she didn’t take me. It turns out that I had to go with my human, and the other 3 had to go with their human (Gypsy didn’t really have a human, but the mini blonde human is really attached to Angel, and Blonde is really, really attached to Onyx). 

. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, if Gypsy didn’t have a human, couldn’t you two have stayed together? 

Thunder: No, there are… outside factors… that prohibited her from staying with me. 

Sgt Stripes: Is it her dilute coat? Snoops says that should disqualify her from being a calico. 

Thunder: No. It’s worse than that. I had to move in with two dogs.

Sgt Stripes: Dogs? Really? You poor thing!

Thunder: Yes, it’s been traumatic. Apparently, my human had to move in with his stepmother. And she has two dogs that have been here forever. The only good thing is, I get total run of the basement. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, that’s a bonus. But why did you stop writing? While I certainly don’t mind being the star tabby, I’m sure that people miss you. 

Thunder: And I miss them. But my publisher was Blondie, and she’s gone. She doesn’t even stop by to get new photos of me. 

Sgt Stripes: Speaking of that, Mr Google thinks you and I are the same cat. We should really talk to him. 

Thunder: Yeah, my tail is far superior. But without contact with Blondie, there’s no real opportunities for me to write for the blog anymore. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh. That’s sad, but that makes sense. Do you miss it? 

Thunder: Sometimes. I liked the people. And it was fun. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, maybe every so often, we can Zoom and do an interview. I like Zoom! 

Thunder: That would be pawsome! 

Sgt Stripes: Well, thank you for your time. Keep being beautiful, and I sure we’ll talk again in the future. 

Thunder: Thank you, Sarge. Keep the pawsome purrsonality.

Can you tell who is who?

21

Snoops and Angel: Peace in Our Time

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Angel Katt here. I wanted to tell you some very exciting news. Cat and Blondie decided that it was time to let me out of the Sun Room to explore the rest of the first floor. (Actually I can go in the basement too, but it has some kind of leak so no one wants to go down there until that is fixed.) And you know what that means: I’m sharing space with Snoops, head cat around here.

Snoops: Yes, it’s true. I’m sharing the blog with Sgt Stripes, but I’m sharing the first floor with Angel. And I have been very gracious, if I do say so myself.

Angel: I’ve really wanted to get out for a while, but I was a little nervous. Every time Sgt Stripes tries to come downstairs, Snoops hisses at him and chases him away.

Snoops: He made a huge mistake when he first got here. He chased Kommando Kitty and scared her half to death. I had to jump on him to let her escape. I raised Kommando from a tiny kitten. That will not be forgotten.

Angel: They finally let me out two weeks ago. It happened over the weekend. Mom wanted to make sure Snoops wasn’t going to try to eat me or anything.

Snoops: Eat you? You are a LOT bigger than me. They were probably afraid you were going to sit on me. Everyone in the house knows that the reason Gypsy got to stay upstairs was because you were starving her.

Angel: I was not starving her. I can’t help it that I ate faster than her.

Snoops: You ate her food after you finished your own. You were intimidating her so you could eat her food.

Angel: I wasn’t intimidating her. I was just watching her food carefully so it didn’t go to waste. Anyway, that’s beside the point. She’s upstairs and happy. And I’m downstairs and happy.

Snoops: You’ll notice that Mom is making sure you don’t try to steal my food. Not that I couldn’t take care of you myself.

Angel: No one is trying to eat your food. Sometimes, Blondie forgot to feed us. It’s no wonder it turned into cat-eat-cat in the sunroom.

Snoops (appalled): You tried to eat her? That’s horrible!

Angel: It’s just a figure of speech. I wouldn’t have eaten her. She got too bony. And it’s against house rules.

Snoops is not amused.

Snoops: Anyway, once they let her out, I was very gracious to her. I didn’t hiss or growl. At least until she tried to take my favorite sun puddle.

Angel: How was I supposed to know it was taken?

Snoops: I was lying in it!

Angel: Okay. You’re right. But we’re getting along pretty well.

Snoops: Much better than expected. We haven’t fought at all. And we hang out together in the dining room at the same time.

Angel: Yeah. It’s just a matter of time before we start cuddling.

Snoops: Don’t push your luck. I am tolerating you.

Angel: What’s up with that anyway? How come you haven’t been territorial with me?

Snoops: I’m not really sure. I think it has something to do with you crying in the sunroom before they let you out. I kinda felt sorry for you. And when you got out, you pretty much ignored me. I like that in a housemate. I’m still kinda lonely without Kommando.

Angel: You didn’t really take it seriously when I hissed at you a couple of times.

Snoops: I figured you wouldn’t be dumb enough to attack me in front of the humans. I’ve got seniority.

Angel: Yeah. You even ignored me when I batted your tail.

Snoops: I am the empress around here. It works best when I ignore small things.

Angel: But I’m allowed to stay, right?

Snoops: I suppose.

Don’t forget to vote November 7th

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14

Cheeseland Election Update

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Hello everyone. Angel Katt here. Thank you to everyone who voted in our primary election. As we expected, Thomas Tabby was the winner with 75% of the vote. The other three candidates split the rest of the vote evenly. To decide which candidate will run against him in the general election, we decided to have a trivia contest to see who knew the most about Cheeseland. Each correct answer is worth 1 point.

Here are the contenders:

American mink

Molly Mink

Rats: Facts about these thin-tailed, medium-size rodents | Live Science

Vinny the Rat

How To Care For Golden Retrievers | VIDA Veterinary Care

Remy the Golden Retriever

The position you are voting for is Liaison to the Humans. Who leads the humans in Cheeseland?

Molly Mink: I think her name is Mom. (1 point)

Vinny the Rat: Her name is Cat. That’s why everything is so cat-centric. But it’s kinda weird that we’ve never seen her.            (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: She is Snoops’ Mom. (1 point)

What is the first rule of the house?

Molly Mink : All animals are equal. (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: Don’t do anything to others that you wouldn’t want done to you. (0 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: No eating family. (1 point)

Where are the Cheeseland offices located?

Molly Mink: Somewhere in a place called Zoom. That’s where all my calls come from. (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: Cat’s an American. Somewhere in the US. (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Somewhere in Cheeseland. (0 points)

Who is Uncle Stu?

Molly Mink: A relative of Cat’s.  (0 points)

Vinny the Rat: I have no idea. (0 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: That alligator who keeps getting lost. (1 point)

How many felines live at the Cheeseland office? What are their names? (One point for the correct number and one point for each correct name.)

Molly Mink: There are five cats. Their names are Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, Gypsy, and I don’t remember the last one. (5 points)

Vinny the Rat: There are four cats: Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, and Onyx. (4 points)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Umm. Snoops, Sgt Stripes, Angel, and Gypsy.(4 points)

Which cat is oldest and which is youngest?

Molly Mink: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Vinny the Rat: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Remy the Golden Retriever: Snoops is oldest, Sgt Stripes is youngest (1 point)

Angel Katt: That was really close. Molly Mink had 7 points, Vinny the Rat had 7 points, and Remy the Golden Retriever had 8 points. The winners of the runoff is Remy the Golden Retriever. We’ll be back in the fall with the contest between Thomas Tabby and Remy the Golden Retriever.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

12

Angel Katt and the Cheeseland Elections – Part 2

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Hi everyone! It’s me, Angel Katt. I’m pleased to be bringing you the first debate in the Cheeseland election for Liaison to the Humans. You may recall that we have four candidates. You can look here if you want to refresh your memory. Today we will have three questions for the candidates to answer. At the end, you will have the opportunity to vote for whoever you think is the best candidate. Remember, you are voting for the candidates who will best represent the interest of the animals to the humans. The top two vote-getters will face off in the fall for the position.

a rat sitting at a computer typing on an excel | Stable Diffusion

Question 1: Is the blog too cat-centric?

Molly Mink – I do think that the blog could be improved by featuring a wider variety of animal perspectives. On the other hand, it appears that most of the audience are cats. That might change if there was a wider variety of posts. I’m not sure that any of my fellow minks even know about it.

Vinny the Rat – Of course it’s too cat-centric. It’s like everything else around here.  I want to advocate for a better distribution of everything. I’m not blaming the cats, but it has to change. I’d recommend that only 2 posts per month could be about the cats. The other two should be about other animals or other topics of interest to the general public.

Premium Photo | A happy golden retriever dog looks at a laptop in front of him at home

Thomas Tabby: Let’s not get carried away. The blog was started by a human who shares space with cats. I think we need to tread gently around any major change. I’m not sure telling her that the rats want more representation on the blog is going to be very popular. The cats are creating the content. We need to show that other animals can write well too.

Remy the Golden Retriever – I recommend that we all go out to the park and play in the fields. It won’t seem like such a big deal after we’ve been out there running around. Maybe we can get ice cream after that. Humans love ice cream.

Mink on a leash - YouTube

Question 2: Would you be in favor of curfews or leash laws?

Molly Mink – I’m confused about why we are even discussing this. What animal would agree to be put on a leash? I would never consent to being leashed or being told what time I need to be in my own home.

Vinny the Rat – I believe this is directed at the issue of young animals (mainly dogs) roaming at night. I would certainly feel safer at night knowing that I am not going to run into a bunch of over-excited hounds.

How To Leash & Harness Train A Cat - Benefits, Steps & Tips

Thomas Tabby – I think that most cats I know would prefer to have the dogs safely home before the beginning of the evening prowl. However, I also know that some of the humans want cats on leashes too to prevent the occasional snack of a favorite bird. I am truly offended by that idea.

Remy the Golden Retriever – No leashes, no curfews. Dogs should be free to do dog stuff whenever we need to do it.

Dog Park Etiquette Tips: Should My Dog Go to the Dog Park?

Question 3: Are too many places species-specific?

Molly Mink – I think this is an important issue for smaller animals. There are dog parks and cat cafes, but there is nothing for the rest of us. It would be wonderful if I could go to any groomer in my neighborhood to keep my beautiful fur shiny. However, most groomers won’t work on anyone smaller than a cat. I think it’s species-ism.

Vinny the Rat – I have to admit that I agree with Molly. There are virtually no popular places that will guarantee a rat’s safety. We really have to work on building communities that are inter-species.

Visiting the Biggest Cat Cafe in Japan | Cat Cafe MOCHA Lounge Shinjuku | ASMR

Thomas Tabby – I understand the desire for full community. I don’t think that most places are intentionally excluding certain groups. Sometimes predator and prey animals would prefer not to mingle. We need to find some common ground where everyone is welcome. 

Remy the Golden Retriever – I’m pretty sure that most dog parts only specifically exclude cats. Anyone else is welcome. I guess maybe we could work on that. It’s just that it’s hard to share space with someone who likes to tease you.

Angel – Okay everyone. That’s our four candidates. Please click on the link below to vote. And remember to vote early and often.

Click here to vote.

 

Sgt Stripes – I wanted to thank everyone for being so complimentary about my calendar. The winners of the contest were Da Tabbies O Trout Towne and Ms. Ellen at 15 and Meowing;

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.