Tag Archives: food

16

Yak Express Returns

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Yak - Wikipedia

Today, we are behind the scenes at Yak Express, as they try to process the overload of post Christmas returns they’re getting.

How to Clean a Cat Tree in 11 Simple Steps - Catster

Borris: “Man, everyone and their grandmother must have bought a Deluxe Kitty Condo: 3 Levels of Pawsome!”

Zack: “Except it’s not so pawsome. This is the 5th one I’ve returned. 

Borris: “I wonder what’s wrong with them?”

Husky takes over cat tree

Zack: “The first one said it wasn’t plush enough. Then one said it smelled like a dog. This one, the color isn’t soothing enough.”

Borris: They were heavy enough to deliver when they were properly packaged. This is just miserable.

Steen: “At least yours is all in solid pieces. I just had an exploding nip mouse explode all over me. It’ll take days to get my hair back to normal again.”

Somebody loves the fuzzy blanket : r/cats

Borris: “Maybe you could hang out with the cats that are returning their kitty condos. It sounds like they need to relax.”

Steen: “And don’t even get me started on the food returns! Mackerel, tuna, liver… all of it smells disgusting. And it comes in those heavy tin cans. 

Zack: “Notice no one is returning the plush blankets or fuzzy robes. Those were easy to travel with- and comfortable.”

Borris: “Come on, I had one returned!”

Steen: “Yeah, because the cat who had it hacked a hairball up and couldn’t get the stain out. That’s disgusting.”

Borris: “I’d say the worst for returning are the soaps and perfumes. The scent always makes me gag. And it lingers on my hooves.”

Zack: “That’s true. No one ordered “grassy fields”. They’re all weird scents, like “vanilla cinnamon” and “lush cotton”

Steen: “It could be worse. I hear some humans like to smell like leather. Who’d want to smell like a cow all the time?”

Borris: “And what about these kitchen appliances! They’re heavy, and my back isn’t as good as it used to be.”

Get your cat exercising more with a cat treadmill

Steen: Or the exercise equipment! Who decided we were returning weights and treadmills?

Borris: “The stupid thing is, it’s not like the manufacturer is going to resell it. We’re doing all of this work just for these items to end up in the trash”.

Steen: “I agree, it’s stupid.”

Herd of yaks walking on the Everest Base Camp Trekking, Nepal

Borris: “And we don’t ever get overtime pay. I vote we go at our own pace. There’s no need to rush this stuff back. 

Zack: Isn’t that why we got complaints about our Christmas deliveries?”

Steen: “Yeah, but everyone just likes to complain. No one knows how hard it truly is working for Yak Express.”

Zack: “This job isn’t for the old, that’s for sure.”

Steen: “Or the pretty. This is wrecking havoc on my hooves and hair.”

Borris: “I vote that next year, we sell our returns to a third party vendor.”

A cat is sitting next to a clock the cat has its paw on the clock the clock is made of metal and has a white face the cat is looking at

Zack: “Definitely. It’ll be worth a little money to save my back.”

Borris: “And don’t even get me started on the late deliveries. We always get the blame, but it’s not our fault they chose not to order in time!”

Steen: “It just keeps coming and coming… it’ll never end.”

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images and ChatGPT

22

Post-Christmas Cat Council

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     The day after Christmas, the cats gathered to discuss the Christmas goings-on. 

 

Snoops: Christmas 2025 seemed to go pretty well.

Sgt Stripes: I didn’t see any huge new cat tree. I thought we were supposed to get a new cat tree.

Onyx: I heard them talking. Apparently the little humans got some kind of present called bunk beds. The male human appears to be the only one who can put stuff together and that comes before the cat tree.

Angel: That’s not fair. There’s only two of them and five of us.

Gypsy: Will they make less noise if they get the new beds?

Angel: Ooh. I’d wait for that.

Onyx: What’s a bunk bed?

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know. But hopefully, they will stay in it later than the current beds. My morning routine has been ruined. I used to hang out with Mom in the morning on weekends. Now they’re up before I finish my first set of cuddles. And I used to be able to get a couple of rounds of treats. Now, I’m lucky if I get one.

Snoops: You don’t need extra treats, But the fewer cuddles are a problem.

Angel: They come downstairs and make noise too.

Gypsy: Good thing Blondie is still sleeping down here because of her foot surgery. Otherwise, we’d have to deal with them.

Snoops: I’m not sure new beds are the answer. Maybe they should have gotten some kind of snack bar. That one kid is always hungry.

Sgt Stripes: That would have been cool. We could have stored cat snacks in it too.

Onyx: The kid probably would have eaten those too.

Snoops: At least dinner was good.

Angel: Only if you eat human food.

Snoops: It was a big salmon in some kind of pastry. It was delicious. And they had cookies too. I fell asleep afterwards.

Sgt Stripes: They had something called eggnog too. I guess sometimes humans put other stuff in it, but ours was just some kind of cream. Very yummy.

Gypsy: I don’t really like lots of people. I stayed in my new favorite spot – a shelf in the pantry.

Angel: That is pretty sweet. Right above the heat.

Gypsy: It’s the perfect spot. There’s a chain on the door, so the little humans can’t get in. But I didn’t get to see most of Christmas. Did the humans like our presents?

Sgt Stripes: It didn’t turn out quite the way we hoped. It was hard to get on the computer. So we had to just add to the human order. I will say that Snoops did a fine job with our human brother. He got an ultra-plush, ultra-large cotton towel.

Snoops: I tested it after it got opened. It will be purr-fect for catnaps. To be fair, Sarge did a good job with our human sister Blondie. She got a plush robe with cat ears on the hood. Stylish, but really comfortable for laying on.

Gypsy: Sounds pawsome! What did you get Mom?

Snoops: Apparently Onyx didn’t understand the assignment. She got a lamp.

Onyx: What’s wrong with a lamp? It’s two cats that light up.

Angel: There isn’t anyplace for us to lay on.

Onyx: You can wrap around it. The bulb’s at the bottom. It should get warm. And she really likes it.

Angel: I’ll have to do the shopping when it’s time for her birthday.

Snoops: Anyway, that’s over. Now it’s time to choose our tree. I’m thinking that since it’s late, we should get something even better.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. Maybe a place for treats.

Gypsy: I want real wood to sharpen my claws.

Angel: And plush beds.

Sgt Stripes: Time to talk to Mr Google again.

20

Hibernation at Forest Dreams

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.Tips for Mother's Day from BEAR SANCTUARY Arbesbach

Marva and Barney were going to be going into hibernation for the first time since the cubs moved into their own dens. Marva was not looking forward to the foraging that always preceded their winter nap. looked up from her computer. 

Computer Programming | Hall of Beorn

Marva: Dolly just sent me information about the best place to go this winter.

Barney: What do you mean by go away this winter? We hibernate. All we need to do is make sure we’ve eaten enough and have enough covering to stay warm.

Marva: Don’t be so old-fashioned. Everyone is going to lodges for the winter now.

Barney: Who is everyone? I don’t know anyone who is leaving the neighborhood for hibernation.

Beekeeping 101: How To Prevent Bears From Ruining Your Beehives

Marva: Well, Dolly’s cousin Ellie is lodging, and so are all her friends.

Barney: Isn’t Ellie the one who thought it would be a good idea to build hives so she could raise her own honey?

Marva: It would have been a good idea if she hadn’t had the hives so close to the den. Who would have thought those cute little bees could be so violent? She still has scars on the side of her nose. Besides, this is different.

Black bear crashes Thanksgiving dinner in Manitoba - Cottage Life

Barney: So what’s her brilliant idea this time?

Marva: Come over and look at the pictures. It really looks nice. It’s called Forest Dreams.

Barney: It looks like some kind of barracks.

ESA - Bear sleeping

Marva: No, silly. There’s a main room and hallways going out in a bunch of directions to the sleep rooms. The main room is where you eat until you’re at hibernation weight. Then you go to one of the sleeping dens for the winter.

Barney: That looks like our den. Why do you want to spend money to go someplace that’s just like home?

How to Care for a Pet Rabbit | Reviews by Wirecutter

Marva: It’s like our place, but without all the work. It would be a treat.

Barney: Why are the ads full of rabbits? I don’t want to sleep with a bunch of rabbits. They don’t hibernate.

Marva: That’s the beauty of it. The rabbits do all the work for us. They gather the honey, nuts and berries. They even have fish and insects to eat. It’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. Then they clean while we sleep. There’s more food to get us started in the spring.

Barney: I don’t know it seems kind of silly to me. Bears have been hibernating for years without the help of rabbits.

Prepare for the Bear | Outside Bozeman

Marva: Wouldn’t it be nice to just show up and get all the food you want rather than needing to fight other bears?

Barney: I guess. If it’s really what you want to do, we can try it.

Barney and Marva arrive at Forest Dreams, and register for their room. They hear a loud, angry bear at one of the desks.

Barney: My goodness. He really doesn’t sound happy. I wonder what’s wrong.

March Napness contest: Sleepy sanctuary bears get bracket treatment

Marva: I think I heard something about sharing space. I wonder if he didn’t get the room he wanted.

Clerk: Unfortunately, he didn’t read the agreement. It says that in case of overbooking, we reserve the right to make you share your space.

Marva: For the entire winter?

Clerk. It usually happens if we have two single bears taking up two of our sleeping pods. There’s plenty of room for at least two bears in each of the pods.

How to Care for a Pet Rabbit | Reviews by Wirecutter

Barney: Thank goodness there are two of us.

Clerk: That’s correct, we won’t be putting anyone in with you unless there’s an emergency. Have you read the rules for staying at Forest Dreams?

Marva: I read what’s on your website.

Clerk: Then you’re aware that once you’ve moved into your pod, you are not allowed to leave Forest Dreams until the end of the winter. We lock the doors on November 15 and open them on March 15.

Can you see a bear in the winter? – Kodiak Wildlife Products | Bear Spray | Bear Bangers | Wild Life Safety Kits | Bear Bells

Barney: Isn’t that a little early for a full hibernation? Can we stay longer if there’s still snow?

Clerk: Unfortunately, the building is used in the summer as a camp for humans. We need to clean it thoroughly between groups. They really don’t like the old fish smell.

Barney: How long does the all-you-can-eat buffet stay open?

What Happened To Our Pumpkin? | Lake Lure North Carolina

Clerk: It’s pretty much until we run out of food. It depends on the clientele. Generally the honey and fish are gone pretty quickly. But we usually have enough insects and nuts to last until everyone is asleep.

Barney: What if I want a mid-winter snack?

Clerk: We have a fully stocked granola bar all winter.

Spring is here, and with it some very hungry bears - NDOW

Marva: And in the spring?

Clerk: We send you on your way with a basket of goodies. All bear-approved.

Barney: I guess we better get eating.

Come back in the spring, when we’ll find out whether Barney and Marva enjoyed their stay at Forest Dreams.

Two Bears

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

21

Onyx Dishes the Dirt

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Hello Everyone. It’s me, Onyx. I saw that Gypsy and Angel were talking about me last week. I’m here to set the record straight. It is true that I got out of the house a few times while the weather was still warm. But I’m not the same cat who moved in here a couple of years ago.

Blondie rescued me from the Humane Society when I was young. We bonded and were pretty much inseparable at our old place. It was a good life. But it was loud and crowded. None of us really minded getting more space. Gypsy was a little overwhelmed, but she finally seems to be relaxing a bit.

After we had to move out, both Blondie and I were pretty traumatized, and we stuck together. When she had to go to the hospital the first year, I stayed in our room almost entirely. I generally ignored the “upstairs cats,” Sgt Stripes and Gypsy. I just hung out and waited.

By this summer, I was a lot braver. I started to go into Mom’s room and let her give me pets and treats. Blondie was gone for a long time. I decided it was time to explore the rest of the house. I really liked it on the freezer in the laundry room. I could watch everything from on high.

I’ve been making a lot of changes. I even eat wet food once in a while. I’ve discovered I like fish a lot. I like hanging out in the kitchen. You never know when something yummy is going to appear.

But enough about me. I have things to tell you about all of the cats. The really big news is that Sgt Stripes and Gypsy are a “thing.” They got close when they were both upstairs. But she’s the only one who really bonded with him out of all of us lady cats.

Gypsy has gotten pretty close with Snoops too. When Mom works from home, they tag-team so that one of them is always in her lap. And they don’t even hiss at each other to move. Gypsy has never been social. It’s weird/

Gypsy’s really spoiled. The heat is off in the house. (It’s supposed to be fixed on Tuesday – whatever that is.) Mom put a towel in a clothes basket so Gypsy wouldn’t get cold. Nobody offered me a blanket.

And that big tabby has stolen my prime spot on the freezer. One day, he just bounced out and took it. He’s done the same thing with my eating spot in the kitchen. He just jumps up and sits there in my spot. He is so rude! Mom told me to just ignore him, that he’s really gentle. She wouldn’t want someone three times her size to take her seat.

I can’t forget Angel. She’s pretty much okay. She really wants my spot with Blondie. She hangs out with her when they watch TV in the living room. Blondie is having foot surgery again soon, so she’ll be staying downstairs for awhile. I need to make sure Angel doesn’t steal my human entirely.

I think the last thing is that Snoops fell asleep on guard duty the other day. She was supposed to be making sure the cookies got safely put away. I guess she got bored. It was pretty funny to watch. At least she hasn’t fallen asleep on mouse patrol. She really is the only excellent mouser in the group.

I guess that’s all the news here. Hope you enjoyed the rundown.

29

Gypsy Katt and The Mating Game

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Hey Everyone! It’s me, Gypsy. Hope I didn’t scare you with the title. This is NOT about me finding a mate. I have my buddy Sgt Stripes and that is enough mancat drama for me. I have something a lot more fun. 

I don’t know about the weather around you, but here it has not been great for watching Cat TV. It’s been humid, overcast, and HOT. The only time anything’s moving is really early and after dark. But I found something on that box the humans watch that is really good and made for the feline audience. It’s called The Mating Game.

The way it works is that a lady cat sits in front of a screen. Behind the screen, there are three guy cats all called Tom. The lady asks the Toms a bunch of questions, trying to decide which one she’d like to go on a romantic walk with. (If you live with a really old human, like Mom, they might remember the human version. I saw one show. The cat version is a LOT better.) Here’s some highlights from the most recent episode:

A cat sits on a stool with the word cat on it. | Premium AI-generated image

Lady Guinevere: Tom #1, describe yourself in three words.

Tom 1: Fun, adventurous, and fearless.

Lady Guinevere: Ooh. What about you, Tom #2?

Tom 2: Smart, quiet, and regal.

Viral Video of Two Stray Cats in Love Seen by 26M: 'Us in Another Universe' - Newsweek

Lady Guinevere: Sounds promising. Tom #3?

Tom 3: Quiet, caring, and polite (for a cat).

Lady Guinevere: Very nice. Tom #2, describe a perfect evening.

Tom 2: We could go to a small cafe, enjoy some tuna and catnip tea, then go for a walk in the moonlight.

Lady Guinevere: That does sound nice. What about you, Tom #3?

Cats Who Love Salad - Messy Vegan Cook

Tom 3: I would bring you a mouse, then I would make you a shrimp and cat grass salad. I’d walk you home to make sure you arrived safely.

Lady Guinevere: Is that a live mouse or a toy?

Tom 3: Your choice, m’lady.

Lady Guinevere: You are a kind kitty. What about you, Tom #1?

Is It OK To Let Your Cat Go On The Balcony? - The Dodo

Tom 1: I would take you to my balcony and teach you how to jump on humans.

Lady Guinevere: I’m not sure that’s quite my style.

Tom 1: You’d love it if you gave it a try. Humans can yell really loud.

Lady Guinevere: Maybe. Final question. Tom #3, who’s your favorite human (living or dead)?

Tom 3: Definitely the one I live with. She doesn’t even get mad when I hack up a hairball.

Egyptian Mau Cat Breed Profile: Characteristics, Care & More - Modern Cat

Lady Guinevere: She does sound excellent. Tom #1?

Tom #1: Those Egyptian dudes. They worshipped us.

Lady Guinevere: Fair enough. What about you, Tom #2?

Tom 2: I think Isaac Newton. They say he invented the cat door/flap. A major convenience.

Host: All right, Lady Guinevere. It’s time to make up your mind. Any final questions?

File:Inquisitive cat.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Lady Guinevere: Actually. I do. Tom #2, you sound very familiar. Have we met?

Host: I’m sure you’ve never met. We research our contestants thoroughly. There’s no chance you’ve ever met any of these cats. Are you ready to choose?

Lady Guinevere: I think so. I’d like to meet Tom #3. He seems like such a nice kitty.

They lifted the curtains between Lady Guinevere and the contestants. She looked at the three Toms. She was looks intently at Tom #2.

Lady Guinevere: Ewww. Tom #2 is my brother. That’s disgusting. I don’t want to go on a date with my brother!

Tom #3: Actually, you won’t be going out with him. You’ll be going out with me. You chose me.

Why is My Cat Gagging & What Should I Do? | Lexington Vets

Lady Guinevere: But I might have chosen him.

Host: Actually, a lot of our contestants have said that they wouldn’t mind going on a date with their brother. You might be a little overly sensitive.

Lady Guinevere: Yuck!

The credits start rolling across the screen.

23

House Cat Update: This Place is a Mess

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 The cats have been having a rough few days. At least they think so.

Gypsy: I can’t believe Mom deserted us for three nights last week.

Sgt Stripes: My special treats were totally messed up. I have Mom trained to do it a certain way.

Gypsy: Worse than that. Angel thinks she can boss me around when Mom’s not here.

Sgt Stripes: I think she’s made some kind of pact with Snoops. Every time I see Angel, she hisses at me.

Gypsy: She’s just rude. Ignore her

Sgt Stripes: Mom does a really good job of keeping the peace. She shouldn’t be allowed to leave us. Where was she?

Snoops: Don’t you guys listen at all? She was having a sale at her uncle’s house. She needs to get rid of all the stuff so she can sell the house.

Sgt Stripes: I forgot. I liked him. He was always nice to me when I was outside.

Snoops: He was really nice to Kommando and me too. He played with the red dot with us.

Gypsy: That’s sad. Did they sell all of his stuff?

Angel: I think they must have. Look at the stuff that came here. It’s all over the dining room.

Snoops: Mom says that they still have to sell the stuff in his basement. He has all kinds of tools and electronics stuff and kitchen supplies down there.

Gypsy: But she won’t have to stay overnight anymore right?

Angel: I hope not. Those little humans were pretty good about feeding us, but the cuddles were definitely missing.

Onyx: I think you guys are out of luck. I heard Blondie say something about Mom going to Denver next week for work.

Snoops: That can’t be right. She doesn’t travel for this job.

Onyx: I dunno. Blondie said she was dropping her off on Wednesday and picking her up on Friday.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google says that means she’ll be gone for two overnights. She can’t do that to us! Things haven’t gotten back to normal yet.

Snoops: Well, a lot of that has to do with the strange men that keep coming over.

Gypsy – Yeah. They’ve blocked off the basement. That was my escape when the rest of you were annoying me.

Sgt Stripes (hurt): You don’t mean me, do you?

Gypsy: No, you’re okay. But certain other cats get pretty territorial sometimes.

Angel: Only when you get into my territory.

Gypsy: At least I have a nice high perch. It’s even better than the mantel or china cabinet. It has Cat TV.

Sgt Stripes: So who are the men?

Snoops: You know how Gypsy kept coming upstairs with orange paws and getting it everywhere?

Angel: She was pretty disgusting.

Gypsy: That’s because there was orange water in the basement.

Sgt Stripes: More like orange sludge.

Snoops: Whatever. The humans need to get some plumbing work done in the basement. But before they can do that, the orange stuff has to go.

Sgt Stripes: I heard something about mold too. I know what that is, but Mom’s allergic to it. She’s really excited it’sai going away.

Angel: I don’t really mind the men. They stay downstairs and don’t make too much noise.

Onyx: Sometimes Sarge or I will watch them from the upstairs windows. .

Sgt Stripes: They’re not very interesting. They just carry stuff in and out.

Gypsy: I hope they’re gone soon. And I hope they didn’t take my hiding places.

Snoops: You know the plumbing guys have to come back, right?

Gypsy: They’re okay. They don’t keep me out of the basement.

Sgt Stripes: Why are we still talking about the basement? We have to do something about this Denver thing. I don’t want Mom to think she can just leave whenever she wants to.

The rest of the cats nod in agreement.

36

Sgt Stripes: Why Does Gypsy Act So Weird?

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Sgt Stripes here. You guys know that I really like Gypsy. We were upstairs together. And now that we have free run of the house, she’s the only lady cat who doesn’t hiss at me. We still nap together sometimes. But since we’ve been downstairs, I’ve noticed something kind of weird about her.

She REALLY likes to have a special spot that’s hers.  The spot changes sometimes, but she always needs to have a spot of her own. I decided that we’re good enough friends, that I could ask her about it. (I hope she doesn’t hiss or whap me.

Sgt Stripes: Hey, Gypsy. Can I ask you something?

Gypsy: Sure. What is it?

Sgt Stripes: I’m your favorite cat here, right?

Gypsy: I guess. Angel tried to starve me, and Onyx hisses at everyone. Snoops is OK, but she doesn’t understand why Mr Google always confuses us when he sends “Similar Shots” to the humans. You shared your space and kibble upstairs, so I like you.

Sgt Stripes: You’ve been nice to me too. But there’s one thing I don’t understand about you. The rest of us pretty much hang out in different spots around the house. But you always have a specific place to sit and sleep. Why are you so attached to a certain spot?

Gypsy: I move around. I always go to the kitchen for breakfast.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. But then you go back to your spot. Right now, if you’re not eating or using the litter box, you only stay in the spot where the Christmas tree used to be.

Gypsy: I cuddle with Mom on the love seat. And sometimes I sleep with you on the love seat.

Sgt Stripes: I guess that’s true. Maybe you are changing. But remember when you would only sleep in the plant? Mom had to bring your food to you there. You’d get out, eat the food, then go back to the plant. And before that, you would only stay on the stairs. The weirdest spot was when you wanted to sit in the litter box all the time.

Gypsy: That was only a couple of weeks.

Sgt Stripes: But why did you want to do it at all?

Gypsy: I feel safer if I have my own spot. It has to do with how I was raised.

Sgt Stripes: What happened?

Gypsy: My first humans kept me in a cage. And they didn’t feed me very well.

Sgt Stripes: That sounds awful. How did you get out?

Gypsy: They decided they didn’t want me and took me to a shelter. It was very traumatic.

Sgt Stripes: What happened with your next humans?

Gypsy: They were a lot nicer. But they had other cats who didn’t like me. They said I was the problem, and put me in a room away from the other cats. I was just hissy because I was so stressed out. But at least they fed me and were nice to me.

Sgt Stripes: Then you came here?

Gypsy: Yes. But when Angel, Onyx, and I arrived, there were already three cats here: you, Snoops, and Kommando. So Angel and I were put in a separate room. It was a lot bigger than I room I had been in, but it was really hard. Angel and I don’t really like each other.

Sgt Stripes: She hisses at me all the time. I don’t think I’d want to be locked in a room with her either.

Gypsy: And she kept eating all the food. I lost a lot of weight.

Sgt Stripes: That’s when you came upstairs. I remember that. You were tiny.

Gypsy: It was really weird having that much space. Onyx wasn’t excited that I was up there, but you were pretty nice. You only tried to play pounce a few times.

Sgt Stripes: You really weren’t much fun; you wouldn’t run away. But you were nice to hang out with.

Gypsy: Thank you. I was really comfortable up there. Then we were allowed to go downstairs if we wanted. It was so much space. I had never seen so much space. It was really intimidating.

Sgt Stripes: You haven’t been back up since we were allowed downstairs.

Gypsy: No. I’m still adapting to the downstairs. I even went out on the porch a couple of times. I discovered that I do not like snow.

Sgt Stripes: You should definitely stay inside. I was outside before they adopted me. Inside is definitely more comfortable. No rain or snow.

Gypsy: I think I like it here. Food, treats, and cuddles on demand. And I even have a cat friend. Thanks, Sarge.

29

Cat Council: January 2025

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Snoops: I called this council meeting to discuss how the integration of our household is progressing.

Sgt Stripes: I haven’t seen any fights or fur flying.

Gypsy: There’s still some growling and hissing.

Angel: That’s just you.

Gypsy: It is not. Besides, I need to keep you away from my food. You did try to starve me last year.

Angel: It’s not my fault we didn’t get enough food when we were staying in the sunroom.

Gypsy: You are almost everything we got.

Snoops: Ladies, that’s old news. You need to move on.

Gypsy: What’s your excuse with Sgt Stripes? You growl at him every time he walks by.

Snoops: We have a history. He tried to eat Kommando Kitty when he moved in.

Sgt Stripes: I didn’t try to eat her. I was just trying to play.

Angel: Snoops has a right to keep him at paw’s length.

Sgt Stripes: It’s gotten better. Snoops hasn’t growled at me in two days.

Snoops: You seem to be slightly less annoying.

Sgt Stripes: We all eat breakfast together now.

Angel: Except Onyx. She thinks she’s too good for us.

Onyx: I don’t dislike you. I just don’t see any point in coming downstairs. I have everything I want upstairs.

Sgt Stripes: She does come down for treats sometimes.

Angel: Not since she started getting extra treats upstairs from the blonde kid.

Snoops: We really don’t see much of her.

Onyx: Well, I am pretty busy with my new position. I am the upstairs reading coordinator for the bedtime books for the small humans.

Gypsy: I thought you were an emotional support cat.

Onyx: I am. But since you and Sgt Stripes decided to stay downstairs, there really isn’t another cat to supervise.

Snoops: And we all know the humans need supervision. Especially the little ones.

Gypsy: That reminds me, we need to talk to Thomas Tabby. He’s supposed to be the liaison with the humans. We got that automatic litter box for Christmas and it still isn’t plugged in.

Sgt Stripes: They said something about a cat urinating in the electrical outlet that it was supposed to be plugged into. They want to put it in the utility room where one of the old litter boxes is.

Angel: I don’t want an electric litter box. That sounds scary. What if it eats one of us?

Sgt Stripes: They said it had been tested and is safe. I can’t believe that was our big Christmas present.

Angel: The toys were pretty cool.

Gypsy: I found out that Mom didn’t finish Prince Arthur’s blanket in time for Christmas. So I claimed it.

Snoops: Who’s Prince Arthur?

Sgt Stripes: You know. He lives with that woman who comes here to see our human brother.

Snoops: That’s right. I have enough trouble keeping the cats here straight. I forgot there was another cat involved with things. At least he doesn’t live here.

Angel: We do seem to be at cat capacity. At least I have a good sleeping spot next to the heater.

Sgt Stripes: And we do have a lot of places to snuggle up in.

Snoops: So everyone is pretty content? Meeting adjourned.

18

Hibernation Season: Five’s a Crowd

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Brookfield Zoo Chicago on X: "Bear-y cute cuddle puddle alert! 🐻🐻 Tim and Jess are always together, exploring their habitat with endless curiosity and cuddles. The animal care team reports the siblings

Mama and Papa Bear were returning from a family reunion with their daughter Evie. Their son Cody had chosen to stay home and get the den ready for hibernation.

Mama Bear: I can’t wait to get home. All I want to do is sleep.

Papa Bear: Me too. I can’t believe how much salmon your mother brought.

Evie: And the clams were scrumptious. I’ve never had them before.

What Happened To Our Pumpkin? | Lake Lure North Carolina

Mama Bear: I think my favorite was the berry pie.

Evie: The honey ice cream was really good too.

Papa Bear: It was the perfect end to the season. Now it’s time for a long winter’s nap. I hope Cody did a good job gathering leaves and moss and bedding. He’s never done it before.

Evie: How hard can it be? Our den isn’t that big. There’s just enough space for the four of us.

Brown bear winter cave

Mama Bear: It’s the perfect size. And it’s in a great location. Right behind those rocks so no one can see us.

Papa Bear: We were really lucky to find it. I hear that some of the bears couldn’t find space locally and had to go further up the river.

As the bears walk along, they stop and wish some of their neighbors happy hibernation. They finally reach their den. Cody is outside eating a few late berries.

Cody: Hi, guys! Did you have a good time?

Animal Names - a group of bears is called a sleuth or a sloth. (Not sure if they can see the future though.) : r/PopcornCulture

Evie: It was wonderful! You really missed a feast. Everyone asked about you.

Cody: Maybe next year. But I’ve been busy, making the den extra cozy.

Mama Bear: Wonderful! Let me see.

Cody: Umm. There’s something that I need to tell you.

Mama Bear: We can talk inside. I’m ready for bed.

sleepy grizzly bear | Inhabitat - Green Design, Innovation, Architecture, Green Building

Cody: Well, that’s what I wanted to talk…

Evie had walked into the den.

Evie: Oh kettlefish! There’s a strange bear in here.

She ran back out and hid behind her mother.

Scared bear

Mama Bear: Why is there a strange bear in our den?

Cody: He’s not really a strange bear. That’s Bubba. He’s a friend of mine.

Papa Bear: Okay. Why is there a Bubba Bear in our den? It’s time for hibernation.

Cody: He’s a friend of mine from bear scouts. We were goofing around by the river. When it was time to come home, he told me that his family didn’t have any place of their own to winter. They were trying to split up and stay with relatives. I couldn’t just leave him there.

Papa Bear: Please ask him to come outside.

Very shaggy bear - Picture of Bear Country USA, Rapid City - Tripadvisor

A rather shaggy young bear comes out. He looks at the family.

Papa Bear: Who are you supposed to be staying with this winter?

Bubba: I have a cousin Cornelius who said he had room. But I haven’t been able to find him. They said that if I followed around the bend in the river, I couldn’t miss him.

Cody: We looked, and we couldn’t find him.

Brown Bear Family

Papa Bear: I don’t know of any bears around here named Cornelius. Where’s the rest of your family?

Bubba: My Grandma said she could find places for them if they went north. They plan on coming back down here in the spring.

Mama Bear: So they’re already gone? Without making sure you were safe?

Bubba: Yes ma’am. My daddy said that I was old enough to find Cornelius on my own.

31 Animals That Use Each Other As Pillows | Bored Panda

Cody: Do you think he could stay with us?

Evie: There’s not enough room.

Cody: We can’t just let him freeze.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear looked at each other, then at Bubba. As if it were planned, a light snow began to fall.

What Time of Year is Best to See Bears in Jackson Hole?

Next week: Where will Bubba spend the winter?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Favoritism Alert: Gotcha Days and Birthdays

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Greeting fellow felines and their humans. It’s Snoops and I am speaking for the ladies of the house: Angel, Gypsy, Onyx, and myself.  We think there is some sexism brewing among the humans. Technically, we should be the stronger team: 6 girls (4 cats and 2 human) against 4 boys (1 cat and 3 humans – two of them very small.) However, that has not been the case.

Last week was Sgt Stripes’ second Gotcha Day, and the two small humans each had a birthday. Toddler A turned four and Toddler B turned three. (Which actually means that Toddler A is no longer technically a toddler.) You should have seen all the fuss!

Toddler A and Toddler B (we will be thinking up new names shortly) had a combined birthday dinner last week. It was homemade macaroni and cheese, which Angel and I enjoyed sharing. Gypsy and Onyx really don’t care for human food. And nothing was provided for them at all. The dessert was an ice cream cake. Angel had a little bit of that, but the rest of us were not interested. It was almost like we weren’t really part of the family.

They got a bunch of presents too. There was only one that we could enjoy. They got a little tent for the living room, and it really is a good place to get away from them. We’re going to have to figure out some way to make it toddler-proof. After all, they got a lot of other stuff that we can’t use. They need to learn that sharing is caring.

Then on Monday, it was Sarge’s Gotcha Day. What a waste! He got a fancy cat-dancer kind of toy. And a treat ball toy that looks like a hamster cage. And some of the new flavor Temptations treats.

Guess what I got for my most recent Gotcha Day? Absolutely nothing. Nobody remembers my Gotcha Day. (Because nobody remembers what day it was.) Same thing for Angel and Gypsy and Onyx. Just because Sgt Stripes was on 9/9, everybody remembers it. Do you think that’s fair? We don’t.

Toddler A and Toddler B never give us stuff. We try to avoid them. Angel used to be buddies with Toddler B. But since he’s moved here, all he does is push her away if she tries to share his food. What good are little humans if they don’t share their food with us? They’re loud and sticky. Wonder when they’re going to turn into real humans?

Sgt Stripes here. I’ve been listening to the ladies’ complaints, and they are not giving the full picture at all. I did get good stuff on my Gotcha Day, but I’ve been sharing with them. Even my special Tasty Human treats. It’s not my fault that the humans remember my Gotcha Day. Maybe we should pick some random day to celebrate the ladies?

Of course, they’re kinda mean to me. Onyx and Gypsy aren’t too bad, but every time I get near Snoops or Angel, they start to hiss at me. Snoops growls and looks mean too. I’m not doing anything to them. Mom says that Angel is just afraid, and Snoops is still mad at me for running after Kommando Kitty when I first got here. I wish they’d get over it; it really hurts my feelings.

And Gypsy’s getting special treatment. We’re not supposed to get near my human brother’s plants, but Gypsy’s started hiding in the big aloe vera he’s growing. They say it’s because she’s sitting near it, not on it. I still think it’s unfair. She spends a lot of time in there. (Probably trying to stay away from Angel. They have some kind of girl thing going on between them.)

Since the house has been opened up, I’m downstairs at breakfast time. I didn’t want to be left out, so I’m starting to eat wet food. Not as much as the ladies, but a little bit. We all eat in the kitchen at the same time. Nobody’s trying to eat anybody’s else’s food. Onyx doesn’t like wet food, but the rest of us get along for that 20 minutes.

I guess it’s a start.