Tag Archives: election

28

Cheeseland Election: At the Polls

|

Hello, everyone. This is Angel with the latest on the Cheeseland election.The closer we get to the election, the more excited the voters are. In fact, some say the emotions are a little too high. We’ve been hearing stories of arguments erupting at stores and school parking lots.

Right now, folks are gathering for a big Tabocracy rally at Chene Park. Let’s check in with our ace reporter, Sgt Stripes.

Angel: Hey Stripes! How’s it looking down by the river?

Sgt Stripes: This is going to be huge! There are hundreds of cats and other supporters here to hear the final speech before the election. There’s a lot of energy here. There are kibble vendors, kiosks selling Thomas Tabby drinking bowls and glasses, a fellow over here with Thomas Tabby signed posters.

Enlist Your Rock Star Team to Help You Rebuild from COVID-19 - Practice Life

Suddenly Sgt Stripes jumps back as a group of dogs race past. He follows them to the edge of the crowd where they join a larger group carrying “Vote for Remy” signs.

Sgt Stripes: Apparently we have some voters from the other side. I’ll see if I can talk to them.

10 Photos of Happy Cats To Brighten Your Day

Sgt Stripes starts to approach the group just as Thomas Tabby takes the stage. A massive purring sound greets him.

Thomas Tabby: Good evening everyone. It’s great to see so many of you. The time is now for a Tabocracy.

Heckler #1: It’s not a Tabocracy. You cats just want to run everything!

Heckler #2: Yeah. What are you going to do for the other animals?

Cat speaker on the podium" — image created in Shedevrum

Thomas Tabby: The first thing we need to do is to get the humans to understand the animal perspective. That will make it better for us all, not just the cats. I will set up meetings with the humans and include a variety of animals to get the best outcome. I would be happy to have Remy on the committee. HoH He seems like a good dog.

Heckler #1: Good dog? Good dog?! You’re making him sound like your pet. Show him some respect!

Polluted Pets | Environmental Working Group

Thomas Tabby: I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I simply thought he would be a good representative for the doggo perspective. I want to include as many animals as possible to make Cheeseland a better place for all of us.

Heckler #1: How big is this committee?

Heckler #2: And how many are cats. I bet –

My Dog and Cat Are Fighting – Help! - PD Insurance NZ

Suddenly there was a loud hissing as a Maine Coon jumped on the heckler. Someone tried to pull her off, Before long, there was a huge fight on that side of the crown. Thomas Tabby tried to calm things down.

Thomas Tabby: Calm down, everyone! We’re trying to find a middle ground so everyone wins. The humans are never going to treat us as equals if we fight like this.

Guard goose - Wikipedia

Unfortunately, the crowd was too loud to let anyone hear what he was saying. He waited while the security geese removed everyone who had been fighting. A much smaller crowd was able to listen to the speech Thomas had prepared.

Sgt Stripes: Well, that was unfortunate. At least no one was hurt.

Angel: Remember to vote everyone.

You can vote here

‘Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Voting courtesy of SmartPolls

16

Ask Snoops: Fact or Fiction – Election Edition

|

        

Angel: I still can’t believe they replaced me with a gopher for the Cheeseland debate. It’s so unfair! That was my job.

Sgt Stripes: I wouldn’t worry about it. From what I hear, that dog is running a pretty shady campaign

Angel: Really? Because I’ve heard that Thomas Tabby isn’t as clean-cut as he likes to claim.

Sgt Stripes: He can’t be as bad as the dog.

Angel: I don’t know…

Gypsy: You guys should ask Snoops. She knows a lot. She can probably tell you who’s telling the truth.

Sgt Stripes: Maybe we will. Angel, tell Snoops what you’ve heard about Thomas.

Angel; Here’s the rumor: He has said that Tabocracy really means that Tabbies will be in charge of everything and that ultimately everyone will be speaking cat.

Snoops: There is no record of him ever saying that. Thomas wants all of the animals to cooperate with each other, but he has never said that would require a common language. I think that would be considered a false rumor.

Capybara - Wikipedia

Sgt Stripes: What else are folks saying about Thomas?

Angel: I’ve heard that Thomas has refused to hire certain species at the Bank and Trust.

Snoops: The Bank and Trust has been taken to court for showing favoritism toward cats. There is no evidence that Thomas was directly involved in any of the practices. He personally has a capybara as his assistant.

Angel: What about the rumor that one of his kittens is secretly working for Remy?

Snoops: That really isn’t much of a secret. His daughter is an intern on the “Ruff and Ready” communications team.

Sgt Stripes: OK. Enough about Thomas. What about the rumor that Remy is taking campaign contributions from known criminals?

Snoops: That is technically correct. Remy took a contribution from a bear who was involved in a money-laundering scheme several years ago. Once Remy understood where the money was coming from, he returned the contribution.

Sgt Stripes: Did Remy tell his supporters that the most fun he’s had with a cat was chasing it up a tree?

Snoops: That one is not easily defined. Remy is a Golden Retriever. When he was young, he occasionally chased cats. He says he doesn’t remember ever saying that, but he can’t guarantee that he did not. He says that it was a mistake to chase cats, and he would never do it today.

Sgt Stripes: Did he have a special “all dog” rally so he could say whatever he wanted to about cats?

Snoops: I would say that rumor is false. He did end up with all dogs at one of his events, but it was totally unintentional. Remy understands that he has to appeal to all voters, not just the canine ones. He is trying to be more careful about where he holds his rallies so all his supporters feel safe, not just the dogs.

Sgt Stripes: Last question. Does Remy have a group of attack dogs he’s using to intimidate the voters?

Snoops: There are dogs that have volunteered for that role. There is no evidence that Remy hired them.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s hope we have a safe, uneventful election.

Capybara courtesy of Google Images

12

Angel Katt and the Cheeseland Elections – Part 2

|

Hi everyone! It’s me, Angel Katt. I’m pleased to be bringing you the first debate in the Cheeseland election for Liaison to the Humans. You may recall that we have four candidates. You can look here if you want to refresh your memory. Today we will have three questions for the candidates to answer. At the end, you will have the opportunity to vote for whoever you think is the best candidate. Remember, you are voting for the candidates who will best represent the interest of the animals to the humans. The top two vote-getters will face off in the fall for the position.

a rat sitting at a computer typing on an excel | Stable Diffusion

Question 1: Is the blog too cat-centric?

Molly Mink – I do think that the blog could be improved by featuring a wider variety of animal perspectives. On the other hand, it appears that most of the audience are cats. That might change if there was a wider variety of posts. I’m not sure that any of my fellow minks even know about it.

Vinny the Rat – Of course it’s too cat-centric. It’s like everything else around here.  I want to advocate for a better distribution of everything. I’m not blaming the cats, but it has to change. I’d recommend that only 2 posts per month could be about the cats. The other two should be about other animals or other topics of interest to the general public.

Premium Photo | A happy golden retriever dog looks at a laptop in front of him at home

Thomas Tabby: Let’s not get carried away. The blog was started by a human who shares space with cats. I think we need to tread gently around any major change. I’m not sure telling her that the rats want more representation on the blog is going to be very popular. The cats are creating the content. We need to show that other animals can write well too.

Remy the Golden Retriever – I recommend that we all go out to the park and play in the fields. It won’t seem like such a big deal after we’ve been out there running around. Maybe we can get ice cream after that. Humans love ice cream.

Mink on a leash - YouTube

Question 2: Would you be in favor of curfews or leash laws?

Molly Mink – I’m confused about why we are even discussing this. What animal would agree to be put on a leash? I would never consent to being leashed or being told what time I need to be in my own home.

Vinny the Rat – I believe this is directed at the issue of young animals (mainly dogs) roaming at night. I would certainly feel safer at night knowing that I am not going to run into a bunch of over-excited hounds.

How To Leash & Harness Train A Cat - Benefits, Steps & Tips

Thomas Tabby – I think that most cats I know would prefer to have the dogs safely home before the beginning of the evening prowl. However, I also know that some of the humans want cats on leashes too to prevent the occasional snack of a favorite bird. I am truly offended by that idea.

Remy the Golden Retriever – No leashes, no curfews. Dogs should be free to do dog stuff whenever we need to do it.

Dog Park Etiquette Tips: Should My Dog Go to the Dog Park?

Question 3: Are too many places species-specific?

Molly Mink – I think this is an important issue for smaller animals. There are dog parks and cat cafes, but there is nothing for the rest of us. It would be wonderful if I could go to any groomer in my neighborhood to keep my beautiful fur shiny. However, most groomers won’t work on anyone smaller than a cat. I think it’s species-ism.

Vinny the Rat – I have to admit that I agree with Molly. There are virtually no popular places that will guarantee a rat’s safety. We really have to work on building communities that are inter-species.

Visiting the Biggest Cat Cafe in Japan | Cat Cafe MOCHA Lounge Shinjuku | ASMR

Thomas Tabby – I understand the desire for full community. I don’t think that most places are intentionally excluding certain groups. Sometimes predator and prey animals would prefer not to mingle. We need to find some common ground where everyone is welcome. 

Remy the Golden Retriever – I’m pretty sure that most dog parts only specifically exclude cats. Anyone else is welcome. I guess maybe we could work on that. It’s just that it’s hard to share space with someone who likes to tease you.

Angel – Okay everyone. That’s our four candidates. Please click on the link below to vote. And remember to vote early and often.

Click here to vote.

 

Sgt Stripes – I wanted to thank everyone for being so complimentary about my calendar. The winners of the contest were Da Tabbies O Trout Towne and Ms. Ellen at 15 and Meowing;

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Angel Katt & the Cheeseland Election

|

Angel Katt here. You may have forgotten about me. I moved in with my sisters Onyx and Gypsy last fall, but am staying away from the other cats. I was supposed to be introduced to Snoops and Kommando Kitty. But then Kommando crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and we’re trying to let Snoops heal a little before I start sharing her space. I’ve been kinda bored, so Snoops thought that she’d give me an assignment for the blog.

 

The humans have been talking about this election thingy for awhile. We looked into it, but it’s all humans and really boring. We do have something similar in Cheeseland. We vote for a Liaison to the Humans. every two years. That animal is responsible for bringing any grievances we have to the humans. It’s become pretty much ceremonial, since Snoops is pretty much Empress of the Household. She generally gets what she wants.

Nevertheless, it is election year for us, and we have four candidates running. I interviewed them and got some insight into why they think they should get the job.

Mink animal, Adorable cute animals, Paws and claws

Molly Mink

Who She Is – A native of Cheeseland, Molly’s great grandfather was hunted for his fur (He escaped and made it to Cheeseland). She wants to make sure that the humans don’t get any crazy ideas about themselves looking better in fur than the rightful owners. She has a small family, and works at the post office. Molly has some experience in labor negotiations which she feels make her the perfect candidate.

What She’s Promising – A more well rounded diet. She promises plenty of  fish and a vole in every pot. There won’t be any protein shortages during her tenure. She’s thinking about banning lentils and soybeans so animals won’t need to worry about getting beans when they think they’re getting meat.

Where You Can Meet Her – She’s a school mom, so you can usually find her at The Mark Twain Academy where she volunteers. She is also doing a meet-and-greet at the Smaugland Megastore next Thursday at 7 pm.

12 Photos That Will Change Your Mind About Rats | PETA

Vinny the Rat 

Who He Is – A recent transplant from New York City, Vinny wants everyone to know that he’s not afraid of anything. He comes from a large family and is hoping to find his true love out here. He thinks he’s the only candidate running who is capable of going head-to-head with the humans to get animals their fair share.

What He’s Promising – A more equitable distribution of goods among the non-cat population. Vinny feels strongly that the rodent population of Cheeseland is seriously underserved by the current arrangement. He is looking into a partnership with larger animals who may feel that they are not living their best life in Cheeseland.

Where You Can Meet Him – He is generally found around Main St. He likes to be surrounded by buildings; they remind him of home. He also forages regularly behind Tortelli’s Pizzaria and Smaugland. He will not be at Smaugland on Thursday. He has graciously left it open for Molly Mink that day.

What Exactly Is A Tabby Cat? Fun Facts About These Beloved Cats

Thomas Tabby

Who He Is – Thomas lives in the Clydesdale Meadows section of Cheeseland. He is an executive at Cheeseland Bank & Trust. He is married to his high school sweetheart and they currently have three kittens at home.

What He’s Promising – Regular inter-species communication. Thomas thinks that the animals aren’t getting what they deserve because there’s so much fighting between species. He wants to bring everyone together to present a united front to the humans.

Where You Can Meet Him – He finishes work around 4 pm and heads for the Pounce Park. You can generally find him there any weekday. Additionally, He is doing a meet-and-greet next Tuesday at the Mousterpiece Theater on Elm St. at 5:30 pm.

Golden Retriever | Seven Hills Veterinary Hospital, Inc

Remy the Golden Retriever

Who He Is – Remy is the youngest son of Edward Gooddog, long-time owner of the Kibble Stop restaurant. He is currently employed as a Customer Service Specialist at Barkham’s Arcade. Remy is a second-generation Cheeseland resident.

What He’s Promising – More parks and green space. Remy believes that the humans are taking up too much space. They need to moved around so there are more places for the animals to have fun.

Where You Can Meet Him – He spends most of his free time at the Park-and-Bark dog park. And he’d be happy to meet you over a cold bowl of water.

There you have it, everyone. These are our candidates for Liaison to the Humans. If you’re registered to vote in Cheeseland, remember to vote for your choice in November.

I hope that we still have all four candidates by this fall. I’m not really sure that they understand that they won’t really have much power to change things radically. The humans listen, but they don’t really do anything unless they want to. And it’s unpaid. And they only get a desk in the Adventures in Cheeseland office; there is no private space.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

10

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 4

|

Image result for happy bear

Where we are: Bella Bear is running for student government President at Cats & Friends Academy. She would be the first non-cat to hold elective office at the school.

The election was only a few days away. Each of the candidates had a particular area of interest. The platforms were:

Ellie Calico: Improve Academic Competitiveness

Bella Bear: More Activities for Non-Cat Students

Terry Tabby: More Sports

Geri Ginger: Clean Up the Environment

Marvin Manx: More Community Involvement

Walt Weasel: Weasel Power

Bella and Daphne were discussing any last-minute changes they might need to make.

Image result for long-haired ginger cat

Bella: What do you think of the competition?

Daphne: The cats all have good ideas. I really think that the environment is on everyone’s mind.

Bella: So you think Geri is the one to beat?

Daphne: Not necessarily. She has a reputation for being a snob. A lot of the girls don’t like her. Of course, the guys don’t seem to mind.

Bella: She’s gorgeous.

Image result for tabby

Daphne: Moving on. Terry probably has the idea that would be easiest for us to pull into your platform. More sports could be read as sports for more types of animals.

Bella: That’s true. As long as it doesn’t look like we’re stealing.

Daphne: You’re right. Our folks should just mention it in passing when they’re out talking to the animals.

Bella: Who’s next?

Image result for calico

Daphne: Ellie. She’s the one who wants us to compete in those “bowls” against other schools on TV.

Bella: I guess we’d be better known.

Daphne: She thinks that if a school is really good, the colleges will notice. Then it might be easier for Academy grads to get in.

Bella: I wonder if she’s right.

Daphne: I don’t know. But it wouldn’t hurt for some animals to study more.

Image result for manx

Bella: So that leaves Marvin.

Daphne: He has a great idea. Setting up programs to get the animals working with the elderly and people in need doesn’t really have a bad side.

Bella: Besides, it really looks good on a college application.

Daphne: Definitely.

Bella: I nearly forgot, what about Walt?

Image result for weasel with sign meme

Daphne: His slogan is, “Cats are weird. Is that what you want?”

Bella: That explains “Leash the Cats” on his posters.

Daphne: I really don’t see him as much of a threat.

Bella: I certainly hope not. That would be awful for all of us. What do you think of my chances?

Daphne: Assuming there aren’t to many haters out there, and that Phoebe and Phyllis have been giving us good advice, I think you’ll give the cats a good run.

Bella: I hope so.

The bears decided that Bella should stay with her message. There wasn’t anything obvious to change.

Image result for weasel

On the way home, Bella ran into Walt Weasel.

Bella: Hello, Walt.

Walt: Ready for the big day?

Bella: I guess so. Why did you have to run against me?

Walt: You know everyone doesn’t agree with your hearts-and-flowers view of the world, don’t you?

Bella: I suppose.

Walt: Did you know that orange cat is trying to stir up anti-bear attitudes?

Bella: I didn’t know.

Walt: I’m just trying to fight fire with fire.

Bella: Thanks, I guess.

Image result for angry cats meme

Bella walked home in a gloomy mood. There were so many cats. What if Geri got most of them to vote against Bella. There was no way she was going to win without a lot of cats voting for her.

Election Day arrived. The students voted during lunch so the results could be announced before the end of the day. Bella felt like the day lasted forever. She was too nervous to concentrate on anything. Finally, during the last class of the day, the results were announced:

Bella Bear: 29%

Ellie Calico: 24%

Geri Ginger: 5%

Marvin Manx: 31%

Terry Tabby: 10%

Walt Weasel: 1%

Image result for two bears

Bella was in a fog, and didn’t understand the numbers. The non-cats in the room erupted into cheers and ran up to hug her and congratulate her. Bella was confused.

Daphne: What’s wrong, Bella?

Bella: What just happened?

Daphne: You just beat out three cats and a weasel to finish second in the race!

Bella: Oh my cats! I’m Vice President.

Daphne: Yes! We have a voice in what happens thanks to you.

Ellie, Terry, and Walt came up to congratulate here. Geri sat in a corner and sulked. Marvin went up to the microphone.

Marvin: Thank you all for voting for me. I am honored that I will be serving with the first non-cat in the history of Academy politics. Bella, would you please come up and join me?

The room exploded in applause as Bella moved toward the front of the room.

Image result for cat with bear

 

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

14

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 3

|

Image result for bear

Where we are: Bella Bear has decided to run for student government to represent the various types of non-feline animals at the academy. She has been promised the support of many of those animals. To read the first two parts, click on the links to the right.

Several days passed. As promised, the other animals volunteered to do anything they could. The night before her first rally, Bella was nervous.

Bella: I don’t know why I said I’d do this. I’m never going to win. All I’m doing is wasting everyone’s time.

Daphne: You don’t have to win.

Bella: I know, I know. Just running is an important first step for us.

Daphne: No. I mnean you don’t have to get the most votes to win.

Image result for animals voting

Bella: What do you mean?

Daphne: What office did you register to run for?

Bella: I don’t remember. That’s kind of embarrassing. I am going to look like an idiot tomorrow.

Daphne: No, you won’t. You didn’t need to sign up, except to run for a leadership spot. The animal who gets the most votes is President, the runner-up is Vice-President, and third place becomes Treasurer.

Bella: How could I have missed that?

Image result for group of cats

Daphne: You were pretty upset about the cats running everything. You weren’t really focusing on much else.

Bella: Has it always been this way?

Daphne: As far as I know. You campaign for President, but as long as you’re in the top three, you’re elected to an office.

Bella: That’s why those cats were always in a herd. That makes sense.

Daphne: I told you the were nice kitties.

Bella: I better get going on my speech.

Image result for bear meme

When Bella was waiting to go on the stage, she was surprised to see that there were a lot of animals waiting to hear what she had to say. There were even a few cats.

Becky Squirrel: Look. The cats sent spies to see what you’re saying.

Bella: Oh, no! That’s awful.

Daphne: No, it isn’t. If they didn’t think you were a threat, they would ignore you. Besides, some of them may just want to hear what you have to say.

Ollie Otter: I agree. I always go to all the speeches just to hear what they are saying. Maybe they don’t really care if they vote for a cat.

Bella: Well, it’s too late to back out, so let’s do this.

Image result for animals clapping

As she walked onto the stage, Bella heard the cheering and clapping. She hadn’t realized how many animals were ready for a change.

Bella: Thank you all for coming. I’m honored that so many of you wanted to hear me speak.

From the back: It’s about time someone showed those cats the we can’t be pushed around anymore. We’re gonna fight back. Watch out kitties, it’s our turn to roar.

The other animals began cheering the speaker. Bella was appalled. She didn’t want to fight the cats. She wanted to work with them.

Bella: No. That’s not the message at all. The cats haven’t hurt us. We just want them to understand what we want, too. We want to have a say in what activities and classes are offered. We want to be a team.

Image result for animals clapping

The crowd quieted down as Bella talked about her plans and what she hoped to do, starting with afterschool and lunchtime clubs and programs more oriented toward some of the other animals. The audience listened quietly and cheered at the end.

Bella was thrilled. They seemed to really appreciate what she was saying. When she left the stage, she was surrounded by supporters. She noticed a couple of cats standing to the side and went over.

Bella: Hi, I’m Bella Bear. I’m so glad you could make it to my rally.

Image result for two cats

Phoebe: We were just wondering if you meant what you said to those mockingbirds.

Bella: Sorry? We don’t have birds at the academy.

Phoebe: I meant the weasels who wanted to fight with us cats. Did you really mean what you said about wanted to work together? Or is that just a cover for the election?

Bella: Not at all. I don’t want to be excluded anymore, but the cats are a huge part of this school. After talking with some of you, I understand that we need to participate to get our ideas heard. I’m trying to be that voice.

Phyllis: We were hoping you’d say that. Quite a few cats are in favor non-cats having a bigger say in things. But we want to make sure it’s someone who won’t make things worse by turning the school into pro-cat and anti-cat enemies.

Image result for friendly bear

Bella: Oh, yes! I completely agree.

Phyllis: Then we’d like to work with you on the best way to reach the cats.

Phoebe: And your team can work it into your message. What do you think?

Bella: I love the idea! Let me introduce you to my best friend, Daphne. She’s the one who keeps all of us on track.

Next week: Will Bella cooperative strategy work?

Image result for two bears

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

Cat Forum: Breaking Election News

|

Washington, DC, September 16, 2016

Commentator: We just received word this afternoon that not only is the Cat Party not going to put forward a candidate for the coming election, they are disbanding the party. On the eve of the Republican Convention, this is truly shocking news. I have them on the phone to find out what happened.

Commentator: Hello guys. We heard the big news. So what happened?

Jaime : Hello, and thank you for having us. We all discussed it and decided that Washington is no place for a cat.

Creamsicle: : You might remember that we were going to Washington to learn about the budget. It was a total disaster.

Commentator: What do you mean?

Creamsicle: Well, the first ones I wanted to meet were the Fat Cats. I thought that maybe I could show them some tricks about maintaining a healthy lifestyle even when they were super-busy. Do you know what I discovered?

Biff: We were all shocked.

Creamsicle: Fat Cats refers to humans. In fact, everyone we saw in the government was human.

Charles: Some of them wanted to put us in cages!

Commentator: That’s horrible.

Charles: Not only that. Some of them are incredibly stupid.

Commentator: How so?

Charles: We looked at the budget. Some of those numbers had way too many zeros. Our government could never afford things with that many zeros.

Jaime: And nobody noticed that the numbers were wrong.

Biff: That’s because nobody went to that meeting where they talked about the budget.

Creamsicle: It was pretty boring. I almost fell asleep.

Biff: But don’t you remember at the beginning when they called off the names of the people who were supposed to be there?

Charles: I counted. Only 16 out of the 42 people were actually there.

Jaime: But that wasn’t the really scary part.

Moderator: It got worse?

Jaime: Definitely. Later that day, they voted on spending the money they were talking about in that meeting.

Biff: There were 25 people at that meeting. I heard some of them whispering to their aides in the hall before the meeting. They were asking what they were voting on and how it impacted important people they know.

Creamsicle: They hadn’t read any of the bill!

Commentator: So you all decided that you didn’t want to be in Washington?

Charles: What self-respecting cat would?

Creamsicle: Those people never stop talking!

Biff: And a lot of the people smoke in that city. Can you imagine what our fur would smell like?

Charles: Besides, we would only be a token cat. They don’t even have litter boxes in those buildings.

Jaime: And they said that only one of us could represent cats. The rest would have to go home. We’d have to work with a human staff!

Commentator: That’s appalling!

Creamsicle: That’s what we thought. What’s to stop them from giving us someone who smells like dog?

Commentator: So what’s next?

Biff: We’ve had an offer for a book deal writing about our experiences.

Charles: We’ve also been offered a talk show. Kind of a political round-table.

Creamsicle: But right now we’re just looking for a place with enough sun for us all to relax. It’s been a tough few months.

Commentator: Thank you for spending your time with us.

Cats: Purr, Purr

(All pictures courtesy of Google Images)

5

A Mouse in Every Pot and a Cat in Every Bed*

|

*The similarity of this slogan to Herbert Hoover’s 1928 presidential campaign slogan is completely intentional. However, it does not mean that Mr. Hoover endorses any of the candidates below. Unfortunately Mr. Hoover died in 1964 and is unable to make such a declaration.

Here at Cheeseland we have been discussing the U.S. Presidential election a lot while trying to ignore the candidates as much as we can. It has become painfully clear that none of the candidates has a strong pro-cat stand (or any other animal, for that matter). In fact, we are unable to find a reference to cats anywhere in the published speeches.

Finally, someone suggested that we would have to put forward our own candidates. Both Super Snoops and Kommando Kitty quickly stepped back and said that they were much too smart to want to be President. So the search was on.

We were a little concerned about sending our mice editors George and Lenny out to find strong candidates. We didn’t want them eaten by interest groups or action committees. They did a fine job.

Below are our potential choices:

 

 

Name: Charles Scruffikan

Hometown: Detroit, MI

Current Job: Mouse Patrol

Strength: Not easily intimidated

 

Name: Edward “Biff” Kellingham III

Hometown: Braintree, MA

Current Job: Inspector at family mattress company

Strength: Calm under pressure

 

Name: Creamsicle

Hometown: Los Angeles, CA

Current Job: Yoga Instructor

Strength: Fast on her feet

 

Name: Jaime Tiggs

Hometown: Washington, DC

Current Job: Undersecretary of the Interior for Wildlife

Strength: Experience working with Congress

 

We are currently in negotiations for a debate between the candidates. You may forward any questions here. Please – nothing about technology.