Category Archives: Animals

9

AIU: Hibernation Havoc, Part 2

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Autumn Grizzly | Grizzly Bear amongst the fall foliage in Ye… | Flickr

Our Original Poster (OP) wanted to know if he was Unbearable for not wanting his “Woods Bear” brother-in-law (BIL) to move in for the winter hibernation. The brother-in-law Dave had always done a full hibernation in the woods and wants to try a semi-hibernation at OP’s house. You can read the details here.

The Calgary Zoo - Don't let this sleepy bear fool you-... | Facebook

Hi everyone. First I want to thank everyone for their input. Apparently, I didn’t make it clear that it wasn’t a debate over which type of hibernation is better. I am very happy with my version of hibernation and have no intention of doing a full hibernation. I understand that bears have been hibernating for generations. I was looking for some input on whether I am wrong not wanting my brother-in-law Dave to have his first semi-hibernation in my house.

Brown bear Siggi at BEAR SANCTUARY Müritz

Dancing Bear_101: NU (Not Unbearable): It’s your house. You need to have a talk with your wife to find a solution you can both live with. Having an overtired house guest for several months is going to leave everyone cranky.

California: bear soaks in hot tub to beat the heat | California | The Guardian

Sarey Beary: Unless you are leaving something out, it doesn’t seem like you are objecting to helping your BIL move into a more (sub)urban lifestyle. You just don’t want his first experience to be miserable for all of you. Doesn’t your wife remember how hard it was for her? NU

OP: Pamela does remember. That’s why she wants to help her brother through his first winter.

talking.

BeckyBruin: YAW (You’re All Wrong). It sounds like you spoke for the household before discussing it with your wife. Your wife shouldn’t be discussing it with her family without involving you. BIL for not accepting “No” as an answers. Your in-laws for getting involved with something that doesn’t really concern them.

Can you see a bear in the winter? – Kodiak Wildlife Products | Bear Spray | Bear Bangers | Wild Life Safety Kits | Bear Bells

Bobbo123: Do you even have room for an extra adult bear? I’m a pretty gentrified bear, and I am definitely grumpier in the winter than the rest of the year. Sometimes there are weeks where I don’t want to do anything but sleep. Other times, I’m pretty much my regular self. Your BIL has no idea how his body is going to adapt.

OP: Space isn’t really the issue. Our son has moved out, and his room is open right now.

Black Bear In The Woods Fine Art Photo Print For Sale | Photos by Joseph C. Filer

ReggaeBear101: NU for not wanting Dave in your house for the winter. YAU (You are Unbearable) for the lack of communication with your wife. This is definitely a situation where you want to decide your position before you give an answer. Question: Have your in-laws ever accused you of being judgmental of their lifestyle before?

OP: Honestly, we don’t see Pamela’s family very often. They are not comfortable coming out of the woods. We have to go there if we want to see them. Pamela video-chats with them regularly.

With more bears in streets and homes of foothill cities, LA County demands action – Daily News

Twiggle: It seems kinda weird to me that this decision seems to have emerged out of nowhere. Did Dave ever say he wanted to be a city bear before? It’s a pretty big step to move away from the woods into someone’s house. Maybe something else is going on with him that you don’t know about?

OP: I don’t think Dave wants to move here. I think he wants to see what a semi-hibernation is like. He doesn’t understand that it takes more than a few weeks of artificial light to make it work.

Don't Wake the Bear!

SugarPop: NU. If Dave wants to try semi-hibernation, he can check with Bears R Bears. They should have a list of places that accept first-time semi-hibernators. He’ll even have staff in case he needs something.

OP: We can mention it to him. I’m not sure he could afford it.

GingerBear: YAU. He’s family. Family helps family.

Genuine Bear Hug, Katmai N.P. (Alaska)

OP: I wanted to update everyone. Pamela and I had a long conversation. She has been missing her family a lot. She really wants to be able to spend some time with her brother. We have a fully finished basement, and I agreed that he could spend the winter there. He’s welcome to be with us as long as he doesn’t get mean from lack of sleep. My guess is that he will be spending most of the winter down there, asleep.

Bear Family Found Hibernating Underneath California Home

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

14

AIU: Hibernation Havoc

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Alaska Magazine | A sloth of bears, and other inventive names for Alaska wildlife

The poster has written to the Am I Unbearable (AIU) forum to get some feedback on an issue he is having with his brother-in-law regarding sleeping arrangements for the upcoming hibernation season.

My darling partner Pamela (7f) and I (8m) have been together for several years. We are both successful in our careers. I am the spokes-bear for our local park system and Pamela is a technology whiz who works from home. We are the proud parents of two cubs, one of whom is still at home.

Grizzly bear photographed roaming near downtown Quesnel, B.C. | CBC News

A little background: I come from a very progressive family. We were early adopters of the movement to get bears out of the woods and into structured society. My grandfather was the first bear on the city council. He worked tirelessly to make our home town into a place where all animals could live together in peace.

Cuteness overload: brown bear cubs becoming best buds

I met Pamela during a sit-in protesting the use of “bear spray” by the police department. She was the most beautiful bear I had ever seen. She is a wondrous creature, gentle and soft-spoken. And really smart. I fell in love almost immediately, and we’ve been together ever since.

Pamela’s family still lives in the woods. They are very nice bears, just not interested in anything outside of their own world.

Hibernating bats have similar metabolism to that of hibernating bears

As you probably know, when bears become part of the “civilized” world, we lose some of our “bearness.” Most importantly to this issue is that we don’t do a full hibernation anymore. Because we don’t live outside, our bodies aren’t fully synced with the seasons. It’s more of a grogginess than a full sleep.

A Bedtime Story: How Nature and Nurture Help Grizzly Bears Hibernate | The Maryland Zoo

Pamela’s younger brother Dave has been saying that he really wants to try doing a “semi hibernation.” I’ve explained that he doesn’t really understand what happens. He can’t just choose to not hibernate. He’s lived deep in the woods his whole life.

I didn’t know anything else, so I actually find it kind of weird that Pamela’s family disappears for five to six months every year. The first couple of years, she really struggled with the change. I don’t think Dave has any idea what he’s trying to do.

Angry Bear Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

Here’s where I might be Unbearable. Dave has asked to live with us for the winter. In fact, he wants to move in by the end of the month. He says that living with artificial light will make it easier to not fall into a deep sleep. I told him that I really didn’t want him to use our house as an experiment. Bears can get pretty unpleasant when they don’t get enough sleep.

🔥 This bear has reached peak boredom : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Pamela said that I should have talked it over with her before I told Dave that he wasn’t welcome. She thinks I’m a hypocrite for saying that I want bears to integrate more into the general population, but when her brother wants to try it I won’t help him. I don’t think Dave wants to integrate; I think he just wants to try something different.

1,000 Kilometers from the Coast, Bears Gorge on Ocean Fish | Hakai Magazine

We don’t eat as heavily in the fall as bears who do a full hibernation. Dave’s been power eating for the past month and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to find enough to eat in town. We have a good pantry, but not enough for a full-grown male bears in hibernation prep.

Bears in the woods

Pamela’s family think that I don’t want Dave here because I look down on “woods bears.” They are saying that if I really think of them as family, I won’t mind having him stay here all winter. I’m more concerned with having a 400-pound grumpy male bear who isn’t getting enough sleep.

So, I’m asking your opinion. Am I Unbearable?

Final Frame: Brown Bear Greeting

Next week – see what the readers think.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

14

Gator Family Wedding: Preparations

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Stan and Adele invited Uncle Stu and Amanda over for an end-of-summer barbeque. Uncle Stu had been spending most of his time at Amanda’s since he asked her to marry him.

Adele: How is the wedding planning going? Have you set a date?

Amanda: We wanted to do it this fall, but we’ve been having trouble finding a place to hold it.

Uncle Stu: Yeah, my son Vinny wanted us to hold it at the place he works. It’s some kind of fancy resort.

Amanda: It’s very sweet of him, but that place is full of humans. I don’t think the family would be comfortable there.

Suzy: I do not want to party with humans. I’m afraid of them. They make belts and shoes out of us.

Justine: That’s not all humans.

Suzy: You can’t tell good humans from killer humans. We might be feasting on boa burgers and have one of them grab us.

Justine: That’s just silly. But I think I’d rather avoid the resort anyway. It’s too crowded.

Amanda: That’s what we decided.

Uncle Stu: It’s too bad. Vinny could have gotten us a great discount. I was really hoping to have it in Nova Scotia. That’s where Amanda and I first fell in love. And she saved my life.

Amanda: It was really just your tail that needed saving.

Uncle Stu. Good thing too. I’m rather fond of my tail.

Adele: That seems like a long way away. And it gets pretty cold there in the fall.

Uncle Stu: That’s the problem.

Amanda: Stu’s doctors told him that if he gets his tail cold again, they probably couldn’t save it.

Justine: So Nova Scotia is out.

Uncle Stu: Unless I could get some of my bear friends to help.

Suzy: I’m afraid of bears too. Don’t they eat alligators?

Stan: I don’t think so, honey. We don’t really see many bears in gator country. And they are very civilized.

Amanda: I said that I didn’t want to take a chance on Stu’s tail. So Nova Scotia’s out.

Uncle Stu: There was a nice place not too far from where I live in Miami.

Amanda: It’s beautiful. On the beach, with a great view of the ocean.

Adele: That sounds lovely. Was it too expensive?

Amanda: Not really. The problem was actually the staff.

Adele: What do you mean? Were they not well trained?

Uncle Stu: Well, it’s a little embarrassing. The staff is mainly flamingos and other birds.

Stan: What does that have to do with anything?

Uncle Stu: Maybe you don’t remember, but there are a few members of the family who find poultry rather delicious. And since we will be having fermented fruit juice as part of the refreshments, we don’t want anything inappropriate happening.

Amanda: That would be a terrible stain on the memory.

Justine: And probably illegal. That would be awful.

Uncle Stu: We thought about going to Hawaii and having a luau with a pig roast.

Amanda: But it would be ridiculously expensive to get everyone there.

Uncle Stu: I like the idea of a pig roast. Maybe we could use one of those wild hogs that are causing so much trouble in Florida.

Suzy: Like the one we had at the family reunion a few years ago. It was delicious.

Amanda: That might be fine for the dinner, but we need to find someplace to get married.

Uncle Stu: I know, sweetheart. I got carried away thinking about the food.

Suzy: It would be really romantic to get married on the beach.

Justine: Ooh, that would be beautiful.

Amanda: I like that idea!

Uncle Stu: Okay, but how do we find a beach? Are we talking ocean or any sand next to some water?

Amanda: You’re so silly. Ocean, of course.

Stan: You should talk to Granny Gertie. She knows a lot of interesting animals. She probably has a friend somewhere who could help you.

Uncle Stu: You’re right. My sister seems to know everyone in southern Florida. I’ll call her when we get home.

Suzy: I can hardly wait!

Pictures created with Canva AI Picture Generator. (We will probably not be using it again until we are better at it.)

6

The Great Cheeseland Debate

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Editors Note: As you know, Angel Katt is our political reporter. She was scheduled to moderate this debate.However, members of Remy the Golden Retriever’s team had a concern that she wouldn’t be fair to him because she’s a cat. We were very disappointed that it was a issue. Angel has been very professional to this point. We were forced to get an outside moderator for the debate. Gordie Gopher will be moderating the debate. We believe that he is well-qualified; however, we had to pay extra as hazard pay since he could possibly be considered prey by both of the candidates.

Mammals - Mammals - Animal Encyclopedia

Gordie: Welcome to the Cheeseland debate. We will be asking Thomas Tabby and Remy the Golden Retriever some general interest question to get a better idea of who would be the best humans liaison. After the introductions, both candidates will have the opportunity to answer the same questions.

The Most Talkative & Vocal Tabby Cat In The World!

Gordie: Thomas, tell us what is a tabocracy?

Thomas: Good evening everyone. It’s actually very simple. It’s a government with maximum input from the Tabbies. Of course, we would include more cats than just the Tabbies. It would begin with me being the liaison to the humans, then expanding our role to the maximum potential.

How Much Does a Golden Retriever Bark?

Gordie: Tell us what you are rough and ready for.

Remy: Hello. I’m ready to be the representative for all animals, not just the ones that look like me. You may think of us as being lovable, dumb hunters. I’m here to show that there’s more to us than the stereotype.

Premium Photo | A group cute of cats are gathered together

Gordie: Do you think certain animals are over-represented in Cheeseland?

Thomas: I don’t thinks it’s a question of over-representation. There are a lot of feline-oriented activities, but there are a lot of cats in Cheese land. And others are always welcome to join in.

Remy: Of course, the cat doesn’t see it. When was the last time anyone saw a dog reporting on the blog? Most of the businesses cater to cats. The humans need to see that it is a problem.

Should You Bring Your Dog to the Office? - Lemonade Pet

Gordie: What will your first step be, if elected?

Remy::I think the first thing to do is set up some focus groups to see what the animals want from the humans. It’s time for a fresh start.

Thomas: I think that all human places need to be animal-friendly. we need to be safe from being stepped on and locked out of places. Everyone deserves respect, and I’m the cat to get it for you.

Is It Safe for Cats to Eat Catnip?

Gordie: There are rumors that one or both of you are trying to bribe the voters. What do you say?

Thomas: That’s ridiculous. I’m a cat. What could I possibly bribe them with. The catnip at my rallies is available to anyone who wants it. You don’t need to promise to vote for me.

Remy: Likewise for the doggy treats at my rallies. They’re free to anyone.

Adorable golden retriever puppy with a ...

Gordie: What is the #1 problem with the humans?

Remy: I wouldn’t really call it a problem… but they could be a little more open to the animal perspective.

Thomas: Agreed. It’s like they think they’re better than us. They need to understand that in Cheeseland, we’re all equal. Just because they have opposable thumbs does not mean they are always right.

What Is A Group Of Cats Called? | Petbarn

Gordie: How do you see your role evolving?

Thomas: I think that we should evolve into an equal partnership for virtually all decision-making. Because they’re bigger, they seem to think they should be running everything. If there are more animals than humans, we should be in charge.

Remy: I’d like to see more of a partnership. we are man’s best friend. I’d be happy just being included in everything.

Why are Golden Retrievers So Loyal and Friendly? - Golden Woofs

Gordie: Any final words?

Remy: Please remember that harmony and fair play are the best way to get what you want in the long run.

Thomas: We need the humans to fully understand our need to live our best lives. That’s what you’ll see if you let a Tabby do the talking.

EDITORIAL: The importance of local voting – The Daily Eastern News

Gordie: That’s it for us. Thank you for joining us. Hopefully, you have a better understanding of the candidates now..

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

22

Next Door Cheeseland

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Greetings. It’s Sgt Stripes. One of my new jobs at the blog is to moderate our Next Door page. Some of you may be familiar with Next Door. It’s a community site where neighbors share tips, concerns and questions about the neighborhood. I’m going to share some of our recent posts to let you see another side of Cheeseland.

Can Dogs Be Angry? · The Wildest

From Daphne P: Does anyone know the squirrels that keep throwing acorns in the Meadowview Apartment complex? I’m tired of being hit in the head while I’m trying to take a peaceful walk. I need to talk to whoever is in charge. Barking at them has done nothing to alleviate the situation.

Why Do Cats Hate Water? 5 Reasons & Tips for Bath Time

From Max K: Who is in charge of the sprinkler system at Alley Cat Country Club? Apparently, some of the water is motion activated? Does that make sense to anyone? Shouldn’t they turn on the water when no one is around? The fastest way to get home is across the lawn. But I’m tired of ending up soaking wet.

Beavers are dam important for the ecosystem | CBC News

From Diane L: Just a quick shout-out to Bert’s Better Building. We hired Bert’s team to create a wall to keep the water out of our basement. They were extremely professional, from the first phone call to the final mud-packing. And their prices are reasonable. We would recommend them for any water-related building needs you might have.

15 Animals That Love Strawberries | Pet guinea pigs, Guinea pigs, Cute guinea pigs

From Nature’s Bounty: Come see what the fuss is about. We have the freshest, tastiest berries in Cheeseland. Strawberries, raspberries, huckleberries and more. Once you’ve tasted our produce, you won’t want anything else. Bears and other large mammals are asked to show restraint in their behavior around the smaller, more timid customers.

Why Is My Cat Staring at Me? Top 5 Reasons Explained

From Marilyn M: Does anyone know this cat? He has been hanging out in Pleasant Valley subdivision for the past few days. He never says anything; he just stares creepily at the residents. When we try to talk to him, he runs away. We’re hoping he isn’t lost.

PsBattle: bunny in round glasses : r/photoshopbattles

From Joe C: I lost my sunglasses on Friday while I was at the Melvin Anders skate park. Has anyone seen them? They were a gift and have a lot of sentimental value. You can respond here if you know anything.

Bringing Home Baby (Cat): 5 Essential Tips for Success | Commonwealth Veterinary Hospital

From Mittens K: Looking for someone to help me with my kittens. They’re adorable, but they are so much work! Ideally, it would be an older mother cat who is looking for something to do or a young cat who is looking for experience. I can’t afford to pay a lot, so if you’re in it for the money, this isn’t the job for you.

It’s Sgt Stripes again. Hope you enjoyed seeing a little of our Next Door. Talk to you soon!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Angel Katt & the Cheeseland Election

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Angel Katt here. You may have forgotten about me. I moved in with my sisters Onyx and Gypsy last fall, but am staying away from the other cats. I was supposed to be introduced to Snoops and Kommando Kitty. But then Kommando crossed the Rainbow Bridge, and we’re trying to let Snoops heal a little before I start sharing her space. I’ve been kinda bored, so Snoops thought that she’d give me an assignment for the blog.

 

The humans have been talking about this election thingy for awhile. We looked into it, but it’s all humans and really boring. We do have something similar in Cheeseland. We vote for a Liaison to the Humans. every two years. That animal is responsible for bringing any grievances we have to the humans. It’s become pretty much ceremonial, since Snoops is pretty much Empress of the Household. She generally gets what she wants.

Nevertheless, it is election year for us, and we have four candidates running. I interviewed them and got some insight into why they think they should get the job.

Mink animal, Adorable cute animals, Paws and claws

Molly Mink

Who She Is – A native of Cheeseland, Molly’s great grandfather was hunted for his fur (He escaped and made it to Cheeseland). She wants to make sure that the humans don’t get any crazy ideas about themselves looking better in fur than the rightful owners. She has a small family, and works at the post office. Molly has some experience in labor negotiations which she feels make her the perfect candidate.

What She’s Promising – A more well rounded diet. She promises plenty of  fish and a vole in every pot. There won’t be any protein shortages during her tenure. She’s thinking about banning lentils and soybeans so animals won’t need to worry about getting beans when they think they’re getting meat.

Where You Can Meet Her – She’s a school mom, so you can usually find her at The Mark Twain Academy where she volunteers. She is also doing a meet-and-greet at the Smaugland Megastore next Thursday at 7 pm.

12 Photos That Will Change Your Mind About Rats | PETA

Vinny the Rat 

Who He Is – A recent transplant from New York City, Vinny wants everyone to know that he’s not afraid of anything. He comes from a large family and is hoping to find his true love out here. He thinks he’s the only candidate running who is capable of going head-to-head with the humans to get animals their fair share.

What He’s Promising – A more equitable distribution of goods among the non-cat population. Vinny feels strongly that the rodent population of Cheeseland is seriously underserved by the current arrangement. He is looking into a partnership with larger animals who may feel that they are not living their best life in Cheeseland.

Where You Can Meet Him – He is generally found around Main St. He likes to be surrounded by buildings; they remind him of home. He also forages regularly behind Tortelli’s Pizzaria and Smaugland. He will not be at Smaugland on Thursday. He has graciously left it open for Molly Mink that day.

What Exactly Is A Tabby Cat? Fun Facts About These Beloved Cats

Thomas Tabby

Who He Is – Thomas lives in the Clydesdale Meadows section of Cheeseland. He is an executive at Cheeseland Bank & Trust. He is married to his high school sweetheart and they currently have three kittens at home.

What He’s Promising – Regular inter-species communication. Thomas thinks that the animals aren’t getting what they deserve because there’s so much fighting between species. He wants to bring everyone together to present a united front to the humans.

Where You Can Meet Him – He finishes work around 4 pm and heads for the Pounce Park. You can generally find him there any weekday. Additionally, He is doing a meet-and-greet next Tuesday at the Mousterpiece Theater on Elm St. at 5:30 pm.

Golden Retriever | Seven Hills Veterinary Hospital, Inc

Remy the Golden Retriever

Who He Is – Remy is the youngest son of Edward Gooddog, long-time owner of the Kibble Stop restaurant. He is currently employed as a Customer Service Specialist at Barkham’s Arcade. Remy is a second-generation Cheeseland resident.

What He’s Promising – More parks and green space. Remy believes that the humans are taking up too much space. They need to moved around so there are more places for the animals to have fun.

Where You Can Meet Him – He spends most of his free time at the Park-and-Bark dog park. And he’d be happy to meet you over a cold bowl of water.

There you have it, everyone. These are our candidates for Liaison to the Humans. If you’re registered to vote in Cheeseland, remember to vote for your choice in November.

I hope that we still have all four candidates by this fall. I’m not really sure that they understand that they won’t really have much power to change things radically. The humans listen, but they don’t really do anything unless they want to. And it’s unpaid. And they only get a desk in the Adventures in Cheeseland office; there is no private space.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

18

Gator on the Loose – Part 2

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Two cute alligators | Two alligators of the Walter Zoo lying… | Flickr

Where we are: Uncle Stu had been missing for three weeks. The gators had not heard from either him or his lady friend they had located on GatorGram. Granny was ready to file a missing gator report with the police. Stan and his family were watching curling on TV when they heard a knock.

Stan: Stu! Come in!

Stu walked slowly into the house, followed by a lady gator. He had a bandage around his tail.

Justine: Uncle Stu! What happened to you?

Stu: It’s nothing. Just a little frostbite.

Justine: How’d you get frostbite?

Adele: Hello Stu! It’s good to see you! Who’s your friend?

Kiawah Island Gator Female | A nice mature female alligator … | Flickr

Stu: This is Amanda. She’s the lady I met last year when I got lost up here.

Amanda: Hello, everyone. It’s nice to meet you.

Suzy: Are you the lady from GatorGram?

Amanda (laughing): Yes, I am. I didn’t respond because Stu and I have been on a little adventure.

Stan: What kind of adventure?

Stu: I signed us up for a Caribbean cruise.

Justine: Ooh! That sounds nice! Why didn’t you tell anyone?

Just one of the Alligator sightings - Picture of River Lilly Cruises, Port Saint Lucie - Tripadvisor

Stu: My son Vince was being kind of a jerk at Christmas. He told me I was too old for a girlfriend. That I should be saving my money in case I need it for some kind of emergency.

Amanda: Stu decided that he would prove Vince wrong. He came up to South Carolina and told me we were going to the Bahamas.

Suzy: That sounds pretty amazing.

Stu: Yeah. It probably would have been. Unfortunately, I got in the wrong line. We ended up on some kind of winter adventure in Nova Scotia.

Amanda: It is really cold in Nova Scotia in January.

Stu: We almost got iced in. I guess I spent a little too much time up top on the boat talking to the captain. My tail got a touch of frostbite.

Alligators stick their snouts above freezing waters to breathe | CNN

Adele: Are you going to be okay? You’re not going to lose your tail are you?

Amanda: They were a little worried. We had to get off the ship. Stu spent the last few days in a hospital. They saved the tail, but he can’t be anywhere cold again.

Stu: Yeah. I guess I’ll be staying down here from now on. I’d look pretty funny without a tail.

Justine: That sounds really painful.

Stu: It’s not too bad. I’m a tough old gator.

Stan: Well, we’re glad you’re okay. Does Granny know you’re safe? She’s ready to report you missing.

Watch This Angry Alligator Invade a Family's Porch and Refuse to Go Quietly

Stu: That’s my sister. Always overreacting. I’ll call her when we’re done here.

Stan: You did disappear with no trace.

Stu: I guess. But Vince should have known better.

Suzy: He said you’d show up when you were ready.

Stu: And here I am.

Justine: Why did you come here instead of going home?

Stu: I had to bring Amanda home. I don’t know what I would have done without her. She’s the one who realized we were on the wrong ship.

Amanda: Unfortunately, by the time I saw the paperwork, we were already at sea.

Winter means hibernation for some — but not all — of Kodiak's bears - Alaska Public Media

Stu: I probably should have known we weren’t in the right place. We were the only alligators on board.

Amanda: There were a lot of bears.

Stu: Bears are really nice. They helped keep up warm when we got up north.

Amanda: They probably saved his tail.

Suzy: Wow! Who knew? They look kinda mean in pictures.

Stu: You should never judge others by the way they look. Anyway, Amanda also got me a good doctor. And made the arrangements to get us back here. She only lives a few miles away.

Amanda: We stopped by on our way home because you had sent me the message saying you were worried.

This gator house call: | Animals, Weird pictures, Alligator

Stu: We didn’t want to worry anyone. I just didn’t like Vince telling me I’m old.

Stan: It sounds like you’re lucky Amanda was there to take care of you.

Stu: I definitely was. And that’s why I asked her to marry me.

The family looked at Amanda, and she nodded.

Amanda: I said yes! I think we’re going to be very happy together.

Stan: Congratulations! I’m very excited for you.

Adele: Stu can definitely use someone with a little common sense.

Stu growled at her.

Justine: Uncle Stu, you know she’s right. Now you won’t get lost anymore.

Stu: That is true. She can take care of all the travel arrangements.

Stan returned with some sparkling swamp water, and they all toasted the happy couple.

Road Trip! The Gators' Summer Vacation | Adventures in Cheeseland

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

14

Gator on the Loose

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🔥 A baby Alligator relaxing on a pond bank on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

We’re visiting the Gator family following the holidays.

Stan picked up his phone and saw that Granny Gator was calling.

Stan: Hi Mom. How are you?

Granny: I’m fine, honey. Is everything settled down from Christmas?

Stan: Yep. The girls are back in school. Adele and I are back at work. Settled back into our regular stuff. How about you?

Granny: Well, I’m a little worried about your Uncle Stu.

Stan: What happened to Stu?

Download Cute Alligator With Butterflies Wallpaper | Wallpapers.com

At the mention of Stu’s name, the rest of the family perked up. If it was about Stu, it would be interesting. Stan listened, said “yeah” a couple of times and finally ended the call.

Adele: How’s Granny?

Stan: She’s fine.

Suzy: How’s Uncle Stu?

Stan: We’re not sure.

Adele: What do you mean?

Louisiana Alligator Advisory Council (@LouisianaGators) / X

Stan: Well, he went to a New Year’s Eve party with some old friends. He called Granny to wish her a happy new year, but she hasn’t heard from him since.

Adele: What did Vince say? Has he seen his father?

Stan: Apparently, they had some kind of fight on Christmas. They aren’t speaking. Vince says that Stu will show up when he’s ready.

Justine: Rats! I knew we should have gone to Florida for Christmas. We always miss the good stuff.

Adele: So what is she going to do?

Stan: She sent my brothers John and Dave over to Stu’s apartment. He’s not there, but he’s such a slob that they couldn’t tell how long he’s been gone.

Conch - Wikipedia

Adele: He always did have an issue with being a bit of a hoarder.

Suzy (giggling): Remember when he decided to collect shells?

Justine: Yeah. Except he didn’t realize that things live in the shells. The aquarium really liked the donation.

Suzy: Does Granny want you to help find Uncle Stu, Dad?

Stan: Yes. She has an idea where he might be.

Justine: Up here in South Carolina?

Stan: Do you remember last year when he was up here and got lost?

Huge alligator causes traffic backup on Florida highway - cleveland.com

Justine: He gets lost every time he comes up here.

Stan: Last year, a nice lady gator helped him find us.

Adele: That’s right!

Stan: It seems they became friends on GatorGram and have been keeping in touch. Granny thinks that when Stu and Vince had their fight, he came up to see her.

Adele: Do you know who she is?

Stan: That’s the problem. I don’t think he ever told us her name. And Granny doesn’t know.

Suzy: We can probably help. We’re friends with Uncle Stu on GatorGram.

Adele: You are? Why?

Hungry, hungry… alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers – New York Daily News

Justine: He’s really funny. And he posts great pictures of food.

Suzy: He eats at amazing places. And has a lot of friends.

Stan: Hmm. I had no idea. You think you might be able to tell who this lady is?

Justine: Give us a few minutes.

The girls got busy on their phones. Soon Justine looked up triumphantly.

Justine: Think I found her! Look!

Suzy: You might be right. It says she’s only a couple of towns over. And she likes everything he posts.

Adele: What do we do now?

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Justine: Let me message her and see if she responds. If I tell her we’re looking for Uncle Stu, maybe she won’t think I’m too weird.

Stan: If she’s as nice as Stu said she was, she’ll probably help us.

Justine typed quickly and sent her message. She waited a few minutes with no response.

Justine: I guess we just wait now.

She didn’t get a response that night. The following night at dinner, they discussed what might be a next step.

St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park | Crocodilians Eating Their Vegetables

Adele: Girls, I have a question. If you’re friends with Uncle Stu, why didn’t you just message him?

Justine: He doesn’t believe in chatting with family on social media. He says we should talk in person. He lets us follow him, but blocked communication.

Stan: That sounds like Stu. He has rules for everything. And they all make sense to him.

Adele: And him alone.

Justine: He hasn’t posted anything since New Year’s. I hope he’s okay.

Stan: I think we’re just going to have to wait. He’s not answering his phone. And his lady friend seems to be busy. Vince is right. He can take care of himself.

Next week: Where is Uncle Stu?

Another alligator attack: Elderly man loses his leg at RV resort in Titusville, Fla. - silive.com

27

Blitzen’s Bad Day – Part 2

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Christmas Reindeer: What's the Story Behind Santa and Reindeer? - A-Z Animals

Where we are: Blitzen was injured during his annual physical and is trying to recover in time for Christmas Eve. In the meantime, Santa has asked two back-up reindeer, Chad and Grigor to fill in on training runs. It’s only two weeks until Christmas.

Santa: How are the new guys working out?

Donner: Okay, I guess.

Dasher: There’s something about Chad that makes me nervous.

Why Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed 'Reindeer' Actually a White-Tailed Deer?

Prancer: Yeah. He’s always making weird jokes about Blitzen

Donner: He’s acting like he’s already replaced Blitzen.

Santa: It’s probably just nerves. How’s Grigor doing?

Dasher: That kid has no sense of direction. It’s good thing he’d be at the back of the pack.

Vixen: We were trying to make a run over Canada, but when I looked down it was Finland.

40 Reindeer Facts More Than Just About Rudolph - Facts.net

Comet: He mixed up Lapland and Latvia too.

Cupid: At least those are close to each other.

Santa: Which one do you think would be the better team member?

The reindeer looked at each other. 

Donner: I want Blitzen back. How’s he doing?

Premium AI Image | a reindeer laying down in a field with mountains in the background

Santa: I was over there yesterday. He’s working hard, but I just don’t think he’s going to be in shape.

Donner: I definitely don’t want to fly with Chad. I think he’s part of the reason Blitzen wasn’t in top form at his physical.

Comet: I agree. Chad and his buddies party a lot. I don’t think he’s a good fit for the team.

Dasher: When are you going to make your decision Santa?

Santa: If Blitzen can’t join the team by the end of the week, I’m going to have to replace him.

Reindeer running through eastern Iceland : r/wildlifephotography

Meanwhile, Blitzen is working hard to regain his strength. His wife Aurora was helping him train. They were working with an old doctor Blitzen had known for years.

Blitzen: It’s no good. The doctor told  me that I needed to start running, but I’m still limping. I’m never going to be able to fly in time.

Aurora: Maybe you should just rest and let it heal. There’s always next year.

Blitzen: You know Chad. If he gets my place this year, he’s not going to give it back.

Aurora: You can win it back from him. You’ve got the experience.

Blitzen: It’s not that easy. Dr. Mika, there must be something you can do.

Dr. Mika: You’re healing well. These things just take time.

Blitzen: I don’t have time. Don’t you have any special tricks to help me?

10 Festive Facts About Reindeer - The National Wildlife Federation Blog

The doctor hesitated. Blitzen looked desperate. They had been friends for many years.

Dr. Mika: I do have one idea.

Blitzen: What is it? I’ll do anything.

Dr. Mika: I have a friend. Actually, he’s an associate. His approach to medicine is a little unorthodox. Are you willing to try something different?

Blitzen: I’m desperate.

Dr. Mika said that they would have to take a walk in the woods. Blitzen and Aurora followed Dr. Mika; Blitzen was visibly limping after a few steps. Eventually they came to a clearing.

Dr. Mika: Do you believe in Christmas magic?

Blitzen: Of course I do. I’m one of Santa’s reindeer.

Community Post: 25 Animals Who Think They're People | Funny animals, Bear, Cute animals

Aurora nodded. Dr. Mika told them to close their eyes. When they opened them, there was a very large bear standing in front of them. He was holding something in his paws. Aurora was terrified.

Aurora: Is he going to eat us?

Dr. Mika: Of course not. This is Rolfe. He’s here to help.

Rolfe: Greetings. Do you believe in magic?

They both silently nodded.

Rolfe: Apply this medicine to your bad leg three times, and you will be healed.

Rolfe dropped a bundle of herbs at Blitzen’s feet, waved, and disappeared into the woods. He was gone before Blitzen had a chance to thank him. Dr. Mika picked up the herbs and led Blitzen and Aurora home.

Santa Claus Reindeer - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Photos)

Blitzen: What is that stuff?

Dr. Mika: Special medicine to fix your leg. But it will only work if you truly believe. Are you ready?

Blitzen: Ready.

Dr. Mika boiled some of the herbs and applied them to Blitzen’s leg. He could feel warmth spreading through his body.

Blitzen: I think it’s working! I can feel it.

Dr. Mika: That’s a good sign. I’ll be back tomorrow to apply it again.

After the third treatment, Blitzen felt good enough to go see Santa.

10 Festive Reindeer Facts – San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance Stories

Santa: Blitzen! You’re not limping! Can you fly and land?

Blitzen: Let’s find out.

They headed out to the practice field. All of the other reindeer were there. They ran up to Blitzen and welcomed him back. Blitzen took a running start and glided up into the air. He sailed past the toy factory and gently landed in the field on the other side.

Donner: You did it! You’re back!

Comet: That’s amazing! I didn’t think you’d be back this year.

Chad: Congrats, bro. Guess you get your job back.

Santa: Yes, you do. Let’s get to work! Christmas is in three days.

Premium Vector | Draw cat meowy christmas for new year and merry christmas

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. 

19

Blitzen’s Bad Day

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Santa, reindeer granted permit to enter US on Christmas Eve

In late November, Santa had a meeting with his reindeer.

Santa: Hello everyone. As you know, it’s only a few weeks until Christmas. It’s time to start intensive training to make sure everyone’s ready for the big night. You’ve all been doing the job for a long time, so I don’t expect any issues. First thing are the physicals to make sure you’re ready to fly. First up is Blitzen.

Truthfully, Blitzen wasn’t feeling particularly well that morning. He’d been out with his brother-in-law Chad the night before, and Chad had talked him into eating a few too many spiced cranberries.

Premium AI Image | a white reindeer laying down in the grass

Blitzen: Santa, could someone else go first? I don’t feel well.

Santa: Don’t be silly, Blitzen. You’ve known about this for weeks. If you don’t pass the physical, you can’t start training.

There was a small grouph of reindeer at the edge of the group who were listening closely. They were the alternates in case something happened to one of the regulars. Chad was in the group. He said something to the others, and they snickered. Santa looked over, and they quieted down.

Blitzen: Please, Santa? Just let someone else go first.

photos of reindeer jumping - Google Search | Meet santa, Oakland museum, Francisco

Santa: All right. Comet, get on the scale.

Comet climbed on the scale.

Doctor: Perfect! Same as last year. Let’s see you run the obstacle course.

Comet gracefully ran around the pylons and jumped over the hurdles.

Doctor: Excellent! Last test. Take a running start, and fly over that group of buildings. (The doctor pointed at the complex where the elves assembled the toys.)

Comet: Sure thing, doc.

Comet glided easily over the workshops and landed in a field on the other side.

Doctor: Congratulations! You’re cleared for training.

The Reindeer Games - JSTOR Daily

One by one, the other reindeer on the team passed the exams and were cleared for Christmas training.

Doctor: Blitzen, it’s your turn.

Blitzen walked over to the scale:

Doctor: Hmm. You seem a little bloated. You might want to lose a few pounds over the next few weeks.

Chad and his friends started snickering. Blitzen was mortified. He had been going out quite a bit with Chad lately, but he hadn’t realized it was affecting his weight. 

Doctor: Now the obstacle course.

The Best Places to See Reindeer Around the World | Travel| Smithsonian Magazine

Blitzen took a deep breath and started running. He knew it wasn’t going as well as usual, but he hoped it was going to be good enough. He clipped the last pylon as he was going around it, and it broke his stride. He tripped on the final hurdle. It was humiliating. He went back to the doctor with his head hanging.

Doctor: Blitzen, you’ve been doing this for years. What’s the problem?

Blitzen: I think I ate something bad last night. I really don’t feel well.

Doctor: Okay. As long as you pass they flying, I’ll clear you for the training. But you’ll need to do some extra work to get that weight off.

Blitzen: Absolutely. Here I go.

Closeup of a reindeer lying on snowy ground at Svalbard, Norway Stock Photo by wirestock

Unfortunately, Blitzen didn’t realize that he had hurt his leg on on the hurdle. He didn’t have any problem with the flying, but he landed hard and stumbled down. The other reindeer flew to him.. His partner, Donner, got there first.

Donner: Buddy, are you okay?

Blitzen: Yeah. Just give me a minute.

But when he tried to stand up, he couldn’t put any weight on his back right hoof. He immediately fell back down. The doctor examined Blitzen carefully and then talked to Santa.

Doctor: I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s very swollen.

Santa: How long will he be injured?

Doctor: It’s hard to say. But at least a couple of weeks. Maybe longer.

The Very Real Reindeer and How They Became Associated With Christmas

Santa: Will he be able to pull the sleigh?

Doctor: Not without a little Christmas magic.

Santa: Hmm. I’m not sure we can count on that. I should probably train a replacement just in case.

They put Blitzen on a sled and took him home. Then Santa spoke to the other reindeer.

Santa: We’re not sure whether Blitzen will be able to pull the sleigh on Christmas Eve. But even if we do find some Christmas magic for that, we still need a replacement for the training exercises. Chad and Grigor, you’re the top alternates. You’ll be competing for the spot, if it does open up.

Chad and Grigor looked at each other and grinned.

Next week: Will Blitzen find his Christmas magic?

Two reindeer in the snow : r/ReindeerPictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images