The Long Recovery: Excerpts from Onyx’s Diary

May 3, 2025 | cat9984

Sgt Stripes here. We’ve been a little worried about Onyx. True, she is an anti-social drama queen most of the time, but she is Blondie’s therapy cat. And she didn’t really step into the role they way we thought she would.

Snoops: Not at all. I had to be the get-well kitty most of the time.

Sgt Stripes: I helped.

Angel: Me too.

Gypsy: Sorry, guys. I don’t really do well around sick humans.

Angel: No one expected you to help. You’re still neurotic from whatever happened to you before we met you.

Gypsy: I’m not neurotic. I’m careful.

Sgt Stripes: She’s not really your human anyway. You seem to be bonding more with Mom.

Gypsy: She is the one who took care of me when I moved in here.

Sgt Stripes: We just think it’s weird how Onyx wasn’t on the front lines.

Gypsy: I found her diary. Maybe that will help figure it out.

March 1, 2025 – Blondie has been extra stressed. She said something about getting a new job. I hope that doesn’t mean we have to move again. I’m really starting to like being the house panther here. As long as I stay upstairs, I really don’t have to worry about anyone invading my turf. Sarge and Gypsy come in once in awhile, but everyone know’s it’s my space.

March 8, 2025 – Blondie is talking about having some kind of surgery on her foot. She won’t be able to walk on it for at least two weeks. I should probably check out my options for when she’s laid up. It probably means that I’m going to need to find someone to get me treats and kibble. And clean my litter box.

March 15, 2025 – I think I have my back-up plan in place if Blondie can’t take care of me after this surgery thing. Mom doesn’t really have a bed buddy since Gypsy started sleeping downstairs. She’s pretty good at cuddles. And she has a tummy warmer on her bed. I need to make sure she has the right treats. I think I’ll be extra-friendly. Just in case.

March 28, 2025 – Blondie’s back, but she’s downstairs. I don’t like it downstairs. There are too many cats who think they rule the place. Snoops and Sgt Stripes are the worst. I’m not sure I can be a therapy cat under these circumstances. I think I’ll have to take a long nap on my new wool blanket and tummy warmer. Sgt Stripes think they’re his, but I have it on good authority that Snoops and Kommando shared that spot.

April 5, 2025 – I could definitely get used to this new room. It has cat TV in two windows. I just need to stay clear of Sgt Stripes. I can’t believe how big he is. And he wants to play Pounce with me. I don’t think he’d do it on purpose, but he could squish me if he landed on me. I heard that Blondie should be back upstairs in a few days. Hope Blondie knows that since I’ve been hanging out in Mom’s room, Gypsy has adopted a pile of clothes on her floor. She’s made a rather nice nest.

April 10,2025 – Guess the doctor told Blondie that she has to stay off her foot for another two weeks. I’ve been going to the top of the stairs to make sure she was still down there. But there are too many cats down there. Snoops seems to be there ALL the time. I thought that was supposed to be my job. I don’t understand why Blondie can’t crawl up here so I can be supportive.

April 19,2025 – Gypsy, Sarge, and I have a pretty good routine going. I have Mom’s room, Gypsy has Blondie’s room, and Sgt Stripes goes wherever he wants. Blondie is supposed to be up here next week. I’m really annoyed that she hasn’t found a way to cuddle with me. I can’t believe she expects me to go downstairs to see her.

April 24, 2025 – Blondie has made it upstairs finally. I don’t want her to think that I missed her. I think I’ll hang out with the small humans tonight. They smell kinda weird, but they have a lot of soft places to sleep in their room. I wonder how long it will take Blondie to apologize for deserting me?

May 2, 2025 – I guess Blondie has had time to realize how poorly she treated me. I will allow her to sleep with me tonight. It’s getting too warm for the tummy warmer anyway.

Snoops: Tails from the Homefront

March 29, 2025 | cat9984

Greetings feline friends and others.It’s been awhile since we updated our continuing struggle to peacefully coexist. We had over a week of total peace and calm (no hissing, growling or swatting). Then Mom ruined everything by commenting on it. The past two days have been kinda rough.

Snoops: Sgt Stripes and I are living in harmony, more or less. But sometimes, he just seems so annoying that I have to growl at him.

Angel: I totally agree. There’s something. We just can’t put our paws on what the real problem is.

Sgt Stripes: The problem is that you ladies are hyper-sensitive. I don’t do anything, but I get growled at and have to avoid the whappy paw.

Snoops: You’re not totally innocent. You still try to chase us once in a while.

Sgt Stripes: A little exercise wouldn’t hurt you.

Snoops: Excuse me? A little exercise? You treat us like prey.

Sgt Stripes: It really gets your heart pumping. It’s good for you.

Snoops: I will exercise when and how I choose.

Gypsy: I get to watch all the action. I pretty much get along with everyone.

Snoops: I like you well enough, but you have really weird sleeping habits.

Gypsy: What do you mean?

Snoops: You find a spot, and it’s like you’re glued to it. You only move to eat and use the litter box.

Gypsy: So what? You have favorite spots.

Snoops: Yeah. But my favorite spots are always my favorite spots. You choose a place, won’t move for a few weeks, then find a new favorite spot that you won’t leave. And you never go back to the previous favorite spots.

Gypsy: I keep looking for the perfect spot.

Angel: A perfect spot doesn’t exist. The small humans have free run of the house.

Sgt Stripes: I like the small blonde one. He gives out excellent treats.

Snoops: And lots of them.

Gypsy: But they are really loud.

Angel: I wonder if they have a volume control. Like the television.

Gypsy: That would be excellent.

Snoops: Did you notice Blondie has invaded our space on the first floor?

Angel: I did. She’s taken over the good spot on the sofa.

Snoops: Yeah. She can’t walk for a couple of weeks.

Sgt Stripes: Does she have a bad paw?

Snoops: She’s a human. She doesn’t have paws. But if she did, it would be one of the back paws. She had something similar 10 years ago. Can you believe how cute I still look on her scooter?

Angel: That is pretty cool.

Gypsy: Where’s her cat?

Onyx: You mean me? I’m still hanging out upstairs. I’m the Empress of the Night.

Gypsy: Shouldn’t you be with your human?

Onyx: I stayed with her all last summer when she was depressed. I’m sitting this one out. She’ll be back upstairs in a couple of weeks. She has plenty of cats downstairs.

Gypsy: That seems kinda harsh.

Onyx: Snoops told me about the importance of having a back-up human in case something happens to your primary human. And I found a great wool blanket in Mom’a room. I’m going to hang out here until Blondie comes back up.

Sgt Stripes: Sounds like the rest of us will have to take turns watching Blondie.

Angel: Yeah. She has to get better so we get the living room back.

My Wrists are Making My Head Hurt

April 17, 2016 | cat9984

I got my new job stocking overnight.

My hands and wrists started to hurt a lot more.

I went to see the hand surgeon.

The resident told me that the reason my thumb hurt was because of arthritis due to my age.

I said that the x-rays didn’t show any arthritis.

He said everyone gets arthritis in their thumbs.

I said the x-rays didn’t show arthritis.

He said he hadn’t looked at the x-rays. He asked who read the x-rays.

I told him whoever worked in his clinic.

He said it didn’t matter, we were there to talk about my hands.

I said that I wasn’t comfortable with him.

He said we were there to talk about my hands.

I told him I wasn’t comfortable talking to him.

He told me that he was fully trained in the functions of the hands and the surgery.

I told him I didn’t want to talk to him.

He stalked off.

The surgeon came in.

He talked really loud.

He said the test results said that I had mild to moderate carpal tunnel syndrome, but that he would say it was probably moderate based on the readings.

I said that the doctor had said the same thing at the time of the test.

He looked at me. Who did you talk to?

I wanted to tell him, “The man who came in and introduced himself as the doctor in charge of the department.” But that doctor was really nice, and I didn’t want to make him sound obnoxious. I said that I talked to the tech and then the doctor came in.

The surgeon said OK, I agree. That test was done in 2014, so things are probably worse by now. We should do the release surgery as soon as possible to prevent any more damage. You’ll have to be off work for two weeks and on light duty another two weeks.

By the way, most people do get arthritis in their thumbs when the ligaments stretch as they age.

I went to work and explained the situation. My supervisor told me that he would tell me a good time to take off.

My husband told me that he might lose his insurance in June.

I told my supervisor. He said to go ahead and schedule the surgery for the end of April.

Three weeks later the time off request was still pending. I asked if he had changed his mind. He said I hadn’t made the request in the system. I said I had.

He called me in the floor. Didn’t realize I would be off that long. The store director would have to approve it. Had I spoken with the third-party administrator (TPA)?

The TPA can’t help me. I haven’t been with the company for a year and am not eligible for an official leave.

How long have you been here?

Six months.

Oh. I thought it had been a lot longer. I have to talk to the store director.

No response a week later. I ask if they have talked.

Yes, we did. The store director makes these types of decisions. The answer is no.

My head started to hurt.

Critter Capers: Snoops Speaks

March 17, 2015 | cat9984

Welcome. Snoops here. Mom said that we could each write a post about whatever we wanted.

I want to tell you about a new game I discovered. If I put my paw under the edge of the water dish and push a little, I can make waves! I really like to watch them. The humans sometimes tell me to stop if any water gets out. (They should put less in, more often.)

But they like it a lot more than the game I played before. I would put my paw into a glass and see how far it would go in before it got wet. Sometimes the glass would tip over and lots of water would run out.

It was fun to see the water run out (but I had to be careful so my paws didn’t get wet). It’s their own fault. What else would I do with a glass of water that was too low to drink?

Remember how I said that the humans had to fend for themselves and learn how to catch mice? It’s been really slow going. I brought a mouse to Dad while he was on the computer and let it go so he could chase and kill it.

All he did was yell about how I should have killed it. What good would that have done? I already know how to catch mice.

Not only that, the humans are blaming us cats about some missing chocolate chips. It seems that somehow a bag got chewed open and half of them disappeared. I’d say that’s pretty circumstantial. They didn’t check for mice DNA or anything. Maybe one of the kids did it.

The beta female (we call her Blondie, B for short), has been laying on the sofa a lot recently. There was some kind of problem with her foot, and she had to have surgery. If there’s one thing we indoor cats like, it’s a human who can’t move. Especially in the cold weather.

The only unfortunate thing is that B had to use those clompy things to get around with. The ones that can smash a cat’s tail. I think they’re called crutches. But she got a cool scooter thing too. She puts her knee on it and walks with her other leg.

It’s a purrrrfect perch for a cat. And it’s padded!

Rumor has it that B won’t be couch-bound for too much longer. Good thing the weather has gotten warmer. It’s almost time for cat TV.

I think that’s about it for me.

Oh yeah. Mom won a cool cat mug from a blog called Cats at the Bar (The blog’s great. It’s run by a bunch of cats: http://catsatthebar.org/). I guess she wrote some kind of a poem or something. (It’s a limerick; her real poetry is really, really bad.) You guys seemed to like her other limericks (https://cat9984.wordpress.com/2014/08/25/doggy-doggerel/), so I thought you might like this one:

On a trip to the North for vacation,
Saw a cute cat who lived at the station.
He said, “Name is Orca
“I come from Majorca.
“I’d really like to have some libation.”

Time for my nap. Thanks for reading.