Stan and Adele and their daughters Justine and Suzy are hosting the family Christmas this year. Most of the relatives from south Florida will be coming to South Carolina for the festivities. You can read about their family reunion here and here.
Justine: I’m so excited! I can’t believe Granny’s going to be here for Christmas! When are they arriving?
Adele: Your Uncle John is supposed to be driving everyone up the week before in his camper.
Suzy: What about Cousin Danny? Is he coming?
Adele: He’s in school until that Tuesday. So he’ll be coming separately.
Stan: Cousin Vinny’s going to be able to get some time off from the resort for the holidays. So he and Uncle Stu will be coming separately. They won’t be staying as long.
Adele: Thank goodness! I was afraid Stu was going to try to find the house by himself, and we’d never see him again.
Justine: It is kind of scary how bad his sense of direction is. We’re friends on GatorGab. Last week, he was walking on the beach and was partway to Daytona before he realized he missed the turn into his subdivision.
Adele: We should probably start cleaning so we can get everything decorated before they get here.
Suzy: Where is everyone going to stay? Our house isn’t that big.
Stan: I’m renting a sauna. They said it feels just like southern Florida in the summer.
Justine: Oooh! That sounds nice.
Stan: And I’m going to set up a sunlamp in the basement.
Granny Gertie arrived with John, Jacob, and Norm a few days before Christmas.
Suzy: Hi Granny! Did you have a good trip?
Granny: It was long. Your Uncle John doesn’t really believe in taking rest breaks while he’s driving. I feel stiff.
John: Mom, you’re an alligator. You always walk like that.
Norm: Besides, it would have taken forever if we had stopped every time you wanted to. You wanted to eat every time you saw a picture of food.
Granny: It all looked so delicious.
John: How are things here? Adele, the house looks amazing.
Adele: Thanks, John. We’re doing well. Today was my last day of work before the holidays. We had our big potluck.
Justine: Mom took swamp grass cookies. They’re always a big hit.
Adele: We exchanged “Secret Santa” gifts. Here’s mine.
She held up a package of “Roadkill Helper.”
Adele: Apparently someone thinks I don’t know how to cook.
Justine: You said your Secret Santa was that goofy chameleon. He’s just afraid of you.
Stan: You did threaten to step on him once.
Granny: Don’t worry about it dear. You can give it back to him at next year’s gift exchange. Could someone show me where we’re sleeping? I’d like to take a nap before dinner.
The visiting gators settled in. Danny arrived a few days later. Three days before Christmas, Vinny and Stu still had not arrived. Justine was scrolling through GatorGab and saw a post from Uncle Stu.
Justine: Hey, guys. Uncle Stu says that he left for South Carolina yesterday. Has anyone heard from him?
Stan: No. Does it say anything about Vinny?
Justine: He says that he is going to pick up Vinny and head here.
Suzy: He’s picking up Vinny?
Norm: It’s supposed to be the other way around. Somebody better call Vinny.
Granny: I’ll try to reach Stu. My brother has the common sense of a pumpkin.
Granny and Stan started trying to figure out what was going on while the others paced around the house.
Granny: Stu got bored waiting for Vinny and decided that he would go to South Miami to pick him up at the club. He says he’s north of the city at a very nice lady gator’s house.
Stan: So Vinny can pick him up there?
Granny: He’s not sure he wants to come anymore. He thinks she might be his soul mate. I told him he’s an idiot.
Stan: Vinny wants to know what he should do.
Granny: He should pick up his idiot father and bring him to the family Christmas.
Justine: Maybe we should invite the lady gator too. Uncle Stu just changed his relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on GatorGab.
Granny Gator began to make a low growling noise deep in her throat.
Next week: Will Uncle Stu and Cousin Vinny make it to South Carolina for Christmas? (see part 2 here)