30

Yule Cat as Fashion Police

Jólakötturinn Iceland's Christmas Cat - Posts | Facebook

Please note: Everyone knows that we would never allow any human to dress us up for an occasion. We are not passing judgement on cats who choose to dress up for the holidays. We are passing judgement on humans who insist their cohabiting cats dress up to please them, the human.

Cats that once lived outside have learned to appreciate the inside

You may remember Yule Cat. He’s an Icelandic enforcer and you want to stay on his good side. Traditionally in Iceland, if you finished all your chores by Christmas Eve you would get a new set of clothes on Christmas.

Yule Cat prowls around the neighborhoods on Christmas Eve, checking children’ s presents to see if they are receiving clothing. If they are, Yule Cat continues on his way. If the child has been naughty and didn’t finish their chores, Yule Cat will see that the child is not receiving a present. Yule Cat eats the child’s meal as an appetizer and has the child for the main course.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History | Kittens  Whiskers

We propose something similar. Yule Cat will prowl the neighborhoods, looking in windows. If he sees a kitty dressed in fur, he will pass along. If he sees a kitty dressed up and looking content, he will pass along. However, if he sees a cat who is struggling to get out of the clothes or fighting not to put them on, he will spring into action. Not only will he destroy the offending kitty clothes, he will destroy the festive wear of the responsible human.

We imagine something like this:

Cat Humor: Meet Five Of Santa's Cat Elves | Christmas cats, Christmas  animals, Cats

Verdict: An obviously unhappy cat. Release the poor creature and show me the way to the human’s closet.

Woman dresses up her cats for Christmas in festive onesies | Daily Mail  Online

Verdict: Minimal costume. Cats seem relaxed. No need for me here.

cats dressed for Christmas – EXIT ONLY

Verdict: Someone needs to explain the difference between cats and reindeer to this human. The poor cat is not amused. I hope the human has wool. I love wool.

Free download Cats Dressed Up For Christmas Wallpaper Wallpapers Quality  [1024x768] for your Desktop, Mobile & Tablet | Explore 50+ Cute Cat Dressed  Wallpapers | Cute Cat Dressed Wallpapers, Cute Cat Backgrounds,

Verdict: This little one is almost asleep. Let them be.

huffingtonpost.com on Flipboard: Cats Dressed Up For Christmas Are The  Greatest Gift This Holiday Season

Verdict: Where do we start? Any human who dresses their cat to look like a drunk Santa is obviously doing it without the cat’s consent. We think we’ll have the dinner as well as the clothes.

Christmas Cats (Photos)

Verdict: This is not a happy cat. We have no choice but to destroy your party clothes.

Remember humans. Your cat may put up with the clothes you make them wear, but that doesn’t mean they like wearing them. Yule Cat may be right around the corner.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

2

Rio Animal Olympics: Water Aerobics

(Google Images/Rebloggy.com)

I’m Les Sloth, and I’m here with the Canadian otters, winners of the 2016 gold medal in Water Aerobics. From the left, we have Terry (team captain), James, Ian, and Joseph.

Les: Congratulations! How does it feel to win the gold?

Terry: It’s amazing. We’ve been working so hard, and it’s great to get the gold for Canada.

Les: The competition did not work out the way many folks thought it would. It was supposed to be a four-way contest between the Canadians, Americans, Russians, and Chinese. What happened?

James: Well, it was kind of a fluke with the Americans. None of us knew that it was illegal to shave our country’s name into our fur. Once the first team was disqualified, they really didn’t have much of a chance.

Ian: And the Russians were pretty demoralized when their coach wasn’t allowed to leave Russia with them. Who knew that his wife’s grandmother’s second cousin was married to a Chechen?

Les: It’s incredible that both of those things would have happened the same year. But what about the Chinese?

Terry: We’d rather not talk about that.

Les: Why’s that?

Terry: Apparently, there was some sort of political situation. As athletes, we try not to get involved in those things.

Les: Can you tell me anything?

Ian: It appears that they were using some kind of top-secret training facilities that may not have been approved for the Animal Olympics. The Olympic Committee was looking into it right before the Games.

Les: Did they find anything?

Ian: There was enough of an issue that they issued a warning to the Chinese. Of course, the Chinese denied they had done anything wrong and blamed a Western conspiracy to eliminate the Chinese politically since they couldn’t do it in the water.

Les: Do they know what was happening at the secret facility?

Ian: Rumor has it that they were using some kind of hyper-oxygenated water to train. It’s supposed to help develop stronger lungs.

Terry: But there’s no proof that the Chinese were cheating.

Joseph: We do know that for some reason they didn’t understand that the competition was happening at a river here in the zoological park. They have been training for the past couple of months in an extremely polluted river outside Beijing. They thought it would give them an advantage over those of us training in the wild.

Les: That’s awful. It’s probably the reason they wanted stronger lungs.

James: Unfortunately, most of them picked up some kind of river sickness that has made them incredibly weak. A couple of the alternates even died.

Joseph: They were training with the rest of us, but they weren’t in the clean water long enough to make a difference.

Les: That definitely explains why Iceland and Norway showed so strongly.

Terry: They did perform very well. Iceland, in particular has shown immense growth in the last few years. We’re proud to have beaten them.

Les: So what are you planning to do to celebrate?

Terry: The Canadians have a party every night for all of their medal winners. You are welcome to come.

Les: Thank you very much. However, after the incident in the Big Cat room yesterday, I’ve decided to eat in my room.

James: Yes, it was very unfortunate that the capybara was mistaken for dinner. They never should have sent him in as a waiter for the 200-meter dash winners. They knew the room would be full of hungry cheetahs.

Les: Yes, that is true. I suppose it was appropriate to hold the administrators responsible rather than the cats.

Ian: We feel the same way. The only carnivores allowed tonight are those on Team Canada. It’s unfortunate, but the cats understand. They really feel terrible about what happened.

Joseph: They are collecting money for the poor fellow’s family.

Les: That’s showing the true Olympic spirit. Otters, thank you so much for stopping by. And congratulations once again.

(Google Images/Wikimedia)