Tag Archives: hunting

13

A Mouse in the House

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The homeowners’ association meeting was near its’ end, when the President asked if there were any issues someone wanted to raise.

Mortimer Mouse: I have a complaint to file against the cats in my neighborhood. Some of them stay up all night and hunt right outside my windows. It’s very traumatic.

President: You must have known there were cats in the neighborhood when you moved in. And cats do hunt at night.

Mortimer: They don’t have to do it right outside my window.

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President: You are aware that we don’t generally sell homes to mice in predator neighborhoods.

Mortimer: I don’t actually own the house. I’m visiting.

President: Are you visiting cats?

Mortimer: No, I’m staying with my sister. She lives with cats.

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President: Why is your sister living with cats?

Mortimer: I have no idea. They’re horrible creatures with no sense of humor. I tried to take a piece of kibble from one of the kids, and it tried to eat me. As far as I’m concerned, she should have bought her own house.

The room starts to respond angrily, but Mortimer doesn’t notice.

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Mortimer: It’s probably her stupid husband’s idea. He’s one of those ‘live and let live’ types. I think they should be in an all-mouse place.

President: Your sister and her family are staying with a family of cats?

Mortimer: That’s right. So, will you fix the problem?

President: We’ll definitely look into it.

Matt Manx quickly left the room and went home.

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Sandy: Matt, you’re home early from the meeting. How’d it go?

Matt: Some obnoxious mouse got up and started bad-mouthing cats. Then he said that he was visiting his sister who was living with cats. How many cats do you know who have mouse boarders?

Sandy: But our mice are so sweet!

Matt: I know, but you know the rules. We’re not allowed to have boarders, and they’re obviously not relatives.

Sandy: You mean they have to leave? I’m sure they don’t have anywhere to go.

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Matt: I’m afraid so. This mouse really got folks riled up.

Matt went downstairs to talk to John and Josie Mouse. He explained what had happened at the meeting and told them that they would have to leave.

Matt: I’m really sorry this happened. If that mouse hadn’t made such a fuss, no one would have known. But we’ll get kicked out if they verify that we have boarders.

John: I understand. It’s not your fault. You’ve been more than kind. We’ll get our things together and go.

Matt: Do you know where you’ll go?

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John: Not really. Probably into the fields for a bit so we can think it through.

They shook paws and Matt left.

John: I told you not to let that moron stay here. Look at what he’s done! We don’t have a home and Matt and Sandy are in trouble.

Josie: I’m sure Mortimer didn’t cause trouble intentionally.

Mortimer comes in.

Mortimer: I can’t believe you live in this neighborhood. They didn’t care that cats come around at all hours disturbing us.

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John: Of course there are cats around, you idiot. We live with cats! Or rather we did, until you moved in. Now we’re homeless.

Mortimer: What do you mean, homeless?

Josie: Matt and Sandy Manx let us live here as a favor. They aren’t supposed to have non-family members stay for more than a few days.

Mortimer: Well, you’re better off without them. These animals are rude and thoughtless.

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John: You didn’t have any right to go to that meeting. We’re going to have to live outside. Are you happy that your sister will be living a field because of you?

Josie starts to cry. She had always been a house mouse and now she was going to have to live in a field.

Mortimer: I’m sorry, Josie. I guess I didn’t think it through very well. I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.

John: A lot of good that does her. We’d better pack.

Mortimer: I’ll fix it. Just give me a little time.

Next week: find out what Mortimer has in mind.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

Cheeseland Personal Ads

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(Please note that Cheeseland is not responsible for the content of these ads. It is solely the responsibility of the individual to determine the truthfulness of any claims.)

Lonely male lion looking for mate. Must be sleek, fast and good at presenting dinner. Please no mothers with cubs. Send RECENT picture to S231@chz.catz.

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Attractive hog looking for love. Do you like walks in the woods? Snuffling for goodies? Wallowing in the cool mud on a hot day? You might be my dream girl. Contact me at S232@chz.catz.

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Single lady groundhog looking for gentleman to den with this winter. Must be of good character. Possibility of romance. Prefer country living.  S233@chz.catz.

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Good-looking Tom cat looking for a kitty to share fun times. If you like hunting mice, chasing bugs, and lapping a bowl of good cream, we should talk. Not looking for a relationship, just a friend. S234@chz.catz.

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Male moose looking for girl to take home to Manitoba. Must be willing and able to walk long distances. Good home, plenty to eat. Remote location with no hunters. S235@chz.catz

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Female raccoon looking for male who enjoys city living. Likes: tipping garbage cans, dumpster diving, woodpiles and garages. Dislikes: plastic lawn ornaments, metal cans, and people. Sound like you? Contact me at S236@chz.catz.

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Female monkey looking for partner. Should be hunky monkey who’s good with keys. I want to escape this cage and run away on a romantic weekend. Family in another country a plus. S237@chz.catz.

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Hunting dog seeking same. I need a partner for an upcoming trip. Must be able to handle loud humans, bad hunting skills, and poor sleep. Potential for permanent home with humans. Interested? S238@chz.catz.

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Male sloth looking for companionship. I have a good coat with an attractive moss cover. Prefer local female. Would like to meet face-to-face within the next six months. S239@chz.catz.

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Adorable kitty looking for Prince Charming. Should be clean and well-mannered. Must be willing to treat me like a princess and fulfill my every whim. Human responses will be considered. S230@chz.catz.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images

Snoops and Kommando here – Next Thursday is Remember Me Thursday – it’s a reminder that every kitty deserves a forever home. Please do your part and adopt several cats. Kittens are acceptable.

7

Cat Forum: Interview with Charlie, Lily, Ting, and Tooty

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Snoops and Kommando Kitty here.Today we are interviewing the ladies from samanthamurdochblog. It’s supposed to be about crystals (they look like rocks), but we think it would be a lot more interesting if it were about the cats. As you will see below, the cats are much more entertaining than rocks.

Here is the human’s introduction of the sisters: Charlie (tabby) is the oldest, at 7, Lily (smaller black cat) is younger by a couple of months and Ting (Siamese) and Tooty (larger black cat) are litter mates and sisters, four years old. Charlie doesn’t have an awful lot of time for the others, she is, after all, “Madame La Princesse”, Lily is the hunter of the family, while Ting and Tooty love each other and even now will still sleep curled up together.
Would each of you please introduce one of your sisters and tell us one good thing about her?
“I’m Charlie – well, actually Princess Charlotte Oddpaw – and I’m Number One Girl… Mummy really wanted me…what? Something nice? I’m beautiful, obviously… oh about one of the others. Oh. That’s Lily. She has green eyes.”
Lily (yawning) : “Madame’s already introduced herself… so this is me. Fierce huntress…night goddess…those two grinning idiots over there are Ting and Tooty.”
Ting;: ” Yes, I’m Ting, she’s Tooty and we’re – “
(Ting and Tooty sing like the Beverley Sisters): “Sisters! Sisters! Never were there such devoted sisters!”
Ting: “Tooty is really cuddly and soft and she has lovely golden eyes and I like to sit and cuddle with her!”
Tooty:”My little sister Ting. Isn’t she beautiful?”

Are you all buddies or are there times you wish you were an only cat?
Ting: “Oh no, we’re all really good friends!”
Tooty : “Sometimes, I’m actually a bit scared of the older girls..”
Lily:”Only cat.”
Charlie: ” I was here first, so yes, only cat.”

 It looks very pretty where you live. Do you get to enjoy the wildlife?
Charlie (bossily) : “Well, we’re quite lucky actually, we do have a large garden that’s right next to a park, so we do have plenty of room to explore and maintain our own territories – a princess needs her kingdom. And yes, sometimes there are other…creatures that dare to enter without permission…a smelly old fox came in once and I soon saw him off!”
Lily: “Hehehe…oh yes, I just LOVE to get up close and personal with our native wildlife… mice…frogs…sparrows… I’m always willing to further my acquaintance with nature…
Ting (looking worried):” What’s wildlife? You mean like …tigers..and bears..?”
Tooty whispers in her ear…
Ting: “OH!” I see… well, there’s George, Bert and Harry, down by the pond, they’re always good for a laugh, Sharon, Tracey and Henrietta, the sparrows…Hey! Lily! Do you remember when you caught Barry the Newt? Wild? He was furious!!”

 

Does your human ever let you get near her special healing stones?

Charlie: ” Oh yes, Mummy says it’s good for us to be around crystals, they encourage positivity and help a happy atmosphere…”

(The others look vaguely sceptical and the word “catnip” is muttered…)
What’s your favorite thing to do with your human?
Charlie: “Mummy does a lot of scribbling in her little books, I like to sit by her and provide inspiration with my beauty.”
Ting:”I like to be outside with her, we play and we look at things like beetles and flowers and she tells me things about them.”
Lily:”I always like to be there for her when she’s sleeping… I sit on the windowsill and keep watch.”
Tooty:” I’m generally always around, making sure that things run smoothly.”
Charlie:” It’s nicest when we’re all outside together… or all sleeping on the bed around her, as she reads, or writes, or drinks tea…”
Do you think your human spends enough time with you?
Charlie:” Oh yes. Even when she has to go out, Daddy is usually in, so we’re very rarely alone…I happen to know that Mummy draws a lot of inspiration for her blog from us – I even have my own hashtag on Instagram, #madamelaprincesse – we’re generally always together.”
(others actually nod in agreement.)
What’s your favorite way to spend time?
Charlie:”With Mummy, of course!”
Lily:” Hunting…”
Ting: “Playing. We could play now?”
Tooty :”Sleeping…eating…”
Ting:” Well that’s totally boring!”
Have you ever met a hedgehog? (Horatio Hedgehog asks this question every time we interview someone from across the Pond)
Ting: “Is that what you are? I thought you looked like Ernie…”
Lily:” Are they edible…?”
Tooty: ” Ah yes, we had one in the pond once…”
Charlie:” I must apologise for my family’s rudeness… yes, we do, in fact , have a large – and rather grumpy – hedgehog that lives at the bottom of the garden.”

 How do you feel about dogs?
Lily: ” My birth mother lived in a house with three dogs, and Mummy had a little dog when we came to live with her. She’s crossed over Rainbow Bridge now…”
Charlie: ” She was a good dog – not so sure about some of the ones we see on the park. They’re a bit rude!”
Tooty: ” we owe our lives to a dog. We – “
Ting: ” – were only little, and lost, and a kind lady’s dog found us in the hedge, then Mummy took us home!”

 

Is there anything else you’d like to say?
Charlie: ” It can be tough, living in a multi-cat household, but it’s the 21st century. We all have to adapt and get along…just leave my mousies alone… I’m looking at you, Ting…”

 

(ed note: We tried and tried to get the spacing right on this interview, but for some reason WordPress won’t let us. It looks really cramped to us. It may have too much white space by the time it gets to you. Our apologies.)

12

Cats: Enjoy Your Bugs Responsibly This Summer

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Every cat knows that summer is the time to enjoy bug hunting. Whether you chase the occasional fly that manages to get into the house or go on hunting sprees in the great outdoors, we have some tips to share.

Humans do not enjoy bugs the same way we do. If you bring a nice, crunchy moth over to share with your human, you will probably be disappointed. The response will be something along the lines of “Very nice, kitty. Please take your moth somewhere else to eat it.” Or “Take that disgusting thing away from me.” They will not even taste it.

Note: Do not eat Tiger Moths or caterpillars. They might make you sick.

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Some bugs look better than they taste. We have something around here that the humans call a “stink bug” It looks a little like a really big tick. They fly around like other bugs. But when you start to eat them, they taste awful, like they’re way past their “eat-by” date.

Some bugs should not be eaten at all. You know those annoying bugs that fly around at night with their own lights? The humans call them “fireflies”. They’re almost impossible to catch and it’s a good thing. That’s not really fire in their rears; it’s poison.

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Note: It is considered poor etiquette to catch one and offer it to a dog. Many dogs will eat anything.

Then there are those nasty things that sting. The humans call them “bees, hornets, and wasps.” Although they are usually just a pain in the nose or paw; they can kill some cats. They are poisonous to those cats and can cause them to stop breathing. That is never a good thing.

There is also something called a “fire ant.” You can probably step on one and be OK. But they can also cause some cats to stop breathing. And being stung by a bunch of them will do the same thing to any of us.

Note: We recommend you stay away from anything the humans call “fire”. Except, of course, that toasty thing they have inside during the winter. Sleeping in front of that is a cat’s right. The human’s job is to keep it safe and keep it burning.

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Spiders are not insects, no matter what the humans say. Spiders are usually a lot more fun to play with. For one thing, they are usually within paw’s reach. And they move in a lot of directions to get away. You can play for a long time if you’re not too rough. (More like mice that way.)

Of course, there are a few to avoid. The humans like to give them human-type names: “black widow” or “brown recluse”. Generally speaking, humans will have an “ick”-type reaction to the fun, tasty spiders. They are more likely to go with an “eek”-type response to a poisonous one. Even humans who tolerate the regular ones will usually try to kill these. Self-preservation and all that.

Note: We live in Michigan and have a temperate climate. The cold keeps away most nasty spiders. If you live in a hot tropical place, make sure you know the locals. If you live in Australia, we recommend you not eat anything with 8 legs until you talk to an elderly cat (who has probably seen some unfortunate victims). Particularly if the spider is bigger than you are.

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Bug Hunting on a First Date. If you want to take a fellow feline on a bug-hunting trip, make sure they like to hunt in your style. Unfortunately, there are many instances of a run-and-play cat being partnered with a stalk-and-kill cat. There is little hope for the relationship.

Hunting as a Team. Usually bugs are small. So it is unrealistic to think that you will share the kill. However, it is polite to take turns bringing down the prey and eating it. If you catch something you don’t like, by all means offer it to your partner. You may both try for the next bug.

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If you are inside, watch for wall and tripping/falling hazards. If you are chasing a bug and fall off a table or run into a wall, you can be sure your human will be watching, laughing, and pointing a camera at you. Then they will show the video to all of their friends who will also laugh at you. In this situation, it is appropriate to make your next bug-hunting trip in their bedroom, in the middle of the night. Make a video. Send it to your friends.

Enjoy your summer. And Happy Hunting!

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(photos courtesy of Google Images)