Tag Archives: airplanes

12

The Bears Flying Adventure – Part 2

|

Summer Wildlife Series: Bears - Gray Line Alaska

Dave and Dottie Bear are trying to fly with their two cubs to Yellowstone Park on a human-run airline. Things were going fairly well until they got to security and realized they had no identification. You can read Part 1 here.

The bears are standing in front of a sign telling them that they must have government-issued identification before they can get on the airplane. 

Myth: When Bears Lose Their Fear of People, They Become More Likely to Attack - North American Bear Center

Dottie: Didn’t they tell you on the phone that we would need identification?

Dave: I don’t think so. Most of the conversation was about whether or not we would eat the other passengers.

Ethan: That’s dumb. We don’t eat people.

Most of the black bear's natural diet consists of berries, nuts, roots, and insects. To gain enough weight for winter dormancy, black bears have to consume about 20,000 calories a day! It's

Edgar: Yeah. My favorite food is blueberries.

Ethan: And raspberries.

Edgar: And honey.

Ethan: Mom, can I have a snack? I’m getting hungry.

Dottie: Not now. We have to figure out how to get through Security.

Bear photo a reminder for Tri-Cities to be aware of all surroundings - Tri-City News

Employee: You have to move along folks. You’re holding up the line.

Dave looked around and there was a small crowd behind them.

Dave: Why didn’t they just ask?

Employee (whispering): You’re a bunch of bears. They don’t want your wife going all “Mama Grizzly” on them.

Paige 🗻 Alaska Adventures | Mama bears are on guard 24/7 trying to protect their cubs. It was crazy to see how tirelessly they work to be aware of their surroundings.... | Instagram

Dottie: What’s “Mama Grizzly”?

Employee: You know. Chasing them down so they don’t hurt your cubs.

Dottie (to Dave): I knew we shouldn’t have gotten mixed up with humans. They’re all crazy.

Dave: Sir, I can assure you that no one has better manners than my wife. The humans could have asked politely, and we would have let them past.

Everything You Need to Know About Bears in the Smoky Mountains | Gatlinburg Cabins | Gatlinburg Cabin Rentals | Chalet Village

Employee: Please just move along and keep the line flowing.

Dave: But we don’t . . .

Employee: Just move along.

The bears move along as they were directed. They notice that the line is rather long but seems to be moving well. Before long, they are in front of a desk.

Brown Alaskan Bear standing up - Picture of Alaska Homestead Lodge, Lake Clark National Park and Preserve - Tripadvisor

Security Agent: Please show me your boarding passes and identification.

Dave: Here are the boarding passes.

Security Agent: Thank you. Now I need to see identification for you and the lady.

Dave: We’re bears. We don’t have identification.

How to Answer This Trick Interview Question - Business Insider

Security Agent: You can’t get on the plane until I see your identification.

Dottie: I have school IDs for the boys. Will that work?

Security Agent: I don’t need identification for them. I need it for you.

Dave: No one told us we needed identification. We just get on the trains and buses.

Security Agent: We have different rules here. Sometimes people try to blow up planes.

Listen to 911 Call About Bear Cub

Dottie: I don’t want to get on a plane if someone is going to blow it up.

Security Agent: We’re trying to keep the planes from blowing up. Please step aside.

The bears move to the side while the agent talks to someone on the phone. Shortly another human appears and tells them to follow him. Dottie and the boys look terrified. Dave is getting angry. They are shown to a small room.

Tourist suggests Yellowstone National Park train bears for better viewing - Cottage Life

Human: My name is Sgt Stryker. What seems to be the problem?

Dave: We’re trying to get to Yellowstone to see my Aunt Edna. She’s never seen the boys.

Dottie: I wanted to take the train, but the boys really wanted to fly. This was the only airline we could afford.

Dave: Nobody told us we would need official identification to get on the plane.

Sgt Stryker: That is the federal regulation.

Vince Shute Wildlife Sanctuary (2025) - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Reviews)

Dave: What do other animals use?

Sgt Stryker: I’m not really sure. To be honest, you’re the first animals I’ve seen in Security. Let me make a call.

Dave and Dottie wait, trying not to let the boys see that they are scared too.

Sgt Stryker: Good news. I understand what went wrong. They sent you through the human line. You were supposed to go through the non-human security line. Let me take you where you need to be.

Dave: Thank you. That would be very helpful.

Honestly, it was pretty challenging working with a talking raccoon. 🙃🙃

They follow Sgt Stryker outside to a different building. They are relieved to see the badgers and raccoons again.

Rex Raccoon: We are really glad to see you. We thought maybe you got kicked off.

Dave: No. They sent us to the human line.

Molly Raccoon: The human line? That’s awful. They think that everyone might blow up the plane.

Wally Badger: They’re much more civilized on this side. And wait until you see the great section they have for us. Lots of space and plenty of snacks.

Pin by Olga Glazova on OG BEAR | Bear cubs, Grizzly bear, Grizzly bear cub

Edgar: Daddy, look! It’s our airplane. It’s huge!

Ethan: Oh boy! This is gonna be epic. Wait until we tell everyone at school that we got to ride on a big airplane with lots of scary humans.

Rex Raccoon: Don’t worry about the scary humans. They’re not allowed in our part of the plane.

Dottie: Thank goodness! Maybe this is going to work out after all.

File:Tired brown bear 050701 01.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

9

Road Trip! The Gators’ Summer Vacation

|

Image result for alligators cuddling

It had been abnormally hot and steamy in the southern Florida swamp. While most of the gators loved it, Abigail had had enough. She was a Carolina gator who had met Al on a spring trip to Panama City. It was love at first sight, and they spent their time curled up in a hot tub some human had forgotten to drain.

When it was time to go home, Al invited Abby to come with him. She didn’t hesitate and had been living south of Miami ever since. It had been an adjustment. She thought it smelled weird, and all the gators did was lie around. She loved Al and she soon adapted. But this summer was too much.

Image result for alligators in a swamp

Abby: Al, the heat is starting to make me cranky.

Al: Sweetheart, you’re an alligator. Being cranky is part of our charm.

Abby: I want to go somewhere for vacation.

Al: OK, we can go to somewhere on the coast. You pick the spot.

Abby: I was thinking a little more north.

Al: Back to Panama City? That would be nice.

Abby: Um. A little further north.

Al: How much further north?

Image result for tennessee and georgia

Abby: Tennessee.

Al: Where is Tennessee? I’ve never heard of it.

Abby: It’s north of Georgia.

Al: That doesn’t sound very tropical. Exactly how far is it?

Abby (hesitating): Well, I couldn’t get the exact mileage, but it’s about 850 miles.

Al: 850 miles! Abby, we’re alligators. It would take us years. There’s no way we can take that kind of trip. Find someplace closer or we’re not going.

Image result for alligator in hot tub

Abby (starting to cry): Just look at the pictures. See, the humans are wearing shorts. That means it’s warm. And the place I found has a hot tub. It’ll be romantic, just like when we first met. We can leave the kids with your sister.

Al: What’s that big, furry thing standing in this picture?

Abby: It says it’s a bear. I’m not sure what that is, but I’m sure it’s well-mannered since it’s at a resort.

Al: I don’t see any alligators in these pictures. All the animals are furry.

Image result for tennessee black bear

Abby: I’m sure it’s just because of where they took the pictures.

Al realizes that Abby really has her heart set on going to this place.

Al: OK. How do we get there?

Abby: I thought that we could take an airplane, but we gators don’t have our own airline. Apparently, not enough of us fly. We used to be able to take All Animals, but they went out of business. The last one available is Creature Air Comfort, but they’ve banned gators.

Image result for animal airlines

Al: Isn’t that discriminatory?

Abby: Apparently not. In the past few years, there have been five instances of gators eating other passengers.

Al: Trust some hooligans to ruin it for everyone.

Abby: So the next fastest way to get there is by train. The only problem is that the trains from Miami charge gators double because of the eating other passengers thing. We’d need to go to Orlando to get a decent rate. Apparently there are lots of humans in the area who spoil the alligators, so they don’t bother the other animals.

Image result for steam train drawing

Al: Well, there’s one positive to the human invasion down here. So how do we get to Orlando?

Abby: Well your sister Jean told me about something the humans have, called ride-sharing. Some people do it because they’re friends, but other people do it for anyone to make money.

Al: Well, that’s great, but we don’t know any humans.

Abby: Jean does. Some guy who was out here taking pictures. He said that driving alligators to Orlando would make him “viral.” We don’t know what that means, but she made sure that he would deliver us to the train station alive and in good shape.

Al (defeated): So when does he pick us up?

Early Saturday morning, the driver arrives in an old pickup truck. He has filled the bed with water after laying down blankets for their comfort. He has a friend who is recording everything while talking the whole time. Abby and Al climb in, ready to start their adventure.

Image result for tennessee vacation

 

Next time: Tennessee is definitely not the tropics.

(Pictures courtesy of Google Images)

 

 

3

Slothly Ruminations on Human Behavior

|

Image result for sloths  Les Sloth, Guest Contributor

I really didn’t have to ruminate much to come to my conclusion:

Humans are crazy!

Cat assigned me to accompany B to Los Angeles for her modeling/talent convention. I joined her and her friend C while they finished packing for the trip. I don’t think C was going there to be beautiful; I think she was supposed to keep B from being crazy while she was being beautiful. I hope Cat’s paying her more than she’s paying me.

Apparently it takes a lot of stuff to be beautiful and talented. B had two overflowing suitcases before C arrived. C helped her repack so all that stuff fit. Unfortunately, B still had a lot of stuff. Fortunately, it doesn’t take as much stuff to prevent craziness so C could share some of her space.

Cat drove us to the airport in the dark. We had to get in a line where all the humans had to take off their shoes. Humans have ugly feet – no fur or claws. They made me lie down on a belt that went through a big box. B said they were looking for explosives. Why would I eat explosives? I’m a vegetarian.

The plane ride was awful. The airplane people said that animals ride under the seat. They also said that I really should be in a cage in cargo. I showed them my ticket. They finally said that I could have the seat but that if I made a mess on the seat I had to leave. Can you believe that?! People can be so rude.

We finally got to the LA airport. I was really sorry I’m not an insectivore. There were a lot of big black beetles on the floor. B carried me. She said it was too dirty for me to walk and that someone might step on me.

We had to wait for the luggage. That’s a really scary place. There were a lot of people pushing each other trying to get their stuff. I think I would have left some of that stuff there and bought something better looking. C was really good at making sure no one got our stuff. That probably helped B not be crazy.

We got to the hotel pretty quickly. I think everyone in LA must be late getting somewhere. All they do is run around.

After we got there, B had a message that she had to go to a meeting. Of course, I went with her. There were four people there besides B. A lady with black hair was really excited and told them everything that they needed to do. The lady seemed pretty stressed out and was making B and her friends annoyed. Luckily, the lady didn’t have a problem with me being there so B didn’t get really upset.

B had to go to some kind of singing practice. I don’t know how humans are supposed to sound when they sing, but they didn’t sound anything at all like the songbirds where I come from. I guess B did OK. No one threw anything at her or walked out.

The last thing she did was to put on a lot of makeup and have someone take pictures of her. I think that went pretty well. I don’t understand why all of the pretty girls there had to put stuff on their faces to have their pictures taken. Sloths look good the way we are. And none of them looked as good as a lady sloth when they were done.

That was the end of the stuff B had to do on the first day. She went to eat with her friends. I went back to the room to try and figure out whether the people were having a good time there or not. I fell asleep before I could decide.

More to come.