What to Do When Your Human Gets Sick

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando here again. Mom’s sick, so we’re back on blog duty, as if being the talent wasn’t enough trouble without needing to keep this whole operation afloat by ourselves. Since this clearly won’t stand, we’re going to nurse her back to health. Mom says we’re not “Get Well” kitties, though. (She keeps talking about some former cat – we hate it when she loses focus on us like that.) So we’re going to us this post to prove her wrong. Here are some common human ailments, and what you can do about them.

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Just like us, humans cough sometimes. Unlike us, it’s not because they get hairballs. Since they aren’t actually coughing anything up, the whole thing is a bit of an unsightly waste of time. Sometimes it can help to lay on your human’s chest. However, if they are really seriously coughing, then this isn’t always enough. Not to mention that it can make their chest seriously unstable, what with all the convulsions. In these cases, we advise laying over your human’s mouth and nose, which is almost guaranteed to stop their coughing.


If you’ve ever thought that your human is even warmer than usual, then they might have had what Mom calls a fever. You’re not dreaming; they actually do get warmer! As an added bonus, they’re even more likely to lay down when it happens, so make sure to take full advantage and get in a nice nap with your human. Ours keeps water on the bedside table when she has a fever, which we think is extra-considerate, since it means we only have to get up if we need to eat or use the litter box. Humans reading this, take note.

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Runny Nose/Stuffy Nose

You’d think a nose as basic as the average human’s would require little to no upkeep, but you’d be wrong. Somehow, it’s one of the most failure-prone parts of many humans, whether it gets clogged or starts to ooze human juice. On the whole, it’s pretty gross, so we recommend that you stay away until your human is healed on their own. It might feel callous, but there’s really nothing you can do. Humans are tougher than they look (thank goodness).

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On a more positive note, your human may become tired and lie down because of their illness. This is what we mentioned when were talking about fevers. As we stated earlier, this is the perfect time to catch up on all those missed nap opportunities from when your human was making lame excuses to leave the house, like “work.” (Your very presence should comfort and reassure your human. If it doesn’t, or if you can’t tell, make sure your human knows you’re there, by batting at their face, jumping on their chest, gently gnawing their toes, or whatever you normally do to get their attention. Your human might be sick, but that’s no excuse for them to be ungrateful.)


Occasionally, your human might complain about a sore head. We’ve seen how their brains work, so this isn’t surprising. In general, they’re kind of like fevers, where making sure your human is resting and recovering on their own is the best option. Some headaches are made worse by loud noises, though. If your human winces and holds their head when you hear something noisy, take note. We recommend loudly meowing to cover up the noise aggravating your human’s condition – be sure to drown it out entirely, working in a team if necessary.

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Upset Stomach

Some humans have very delicate dispositions. For example, Mom gets queasy when Snoops brings her mousy bits to snack on. Many humans complain of tummy trouble from time to time. Our best advice is to just be proactive and keep an eye on what your human is eating. If there’s anything you don’t recognize, you should at least give it a sniff test, if not a taste test. remember that your human might no know what’s best for them, and don’t be afraid to be persistent if they don’t want to let you see their food. If you’re not careful, Bast knows what they will put in their mouths. Ours keep trying to eat lentils.

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This list, with the exception of lethargy/drowsiness, is by no means exhaustive, but we hope it provides insight on some of the more common human maladies. Proper care, treatment, and maintenance will have your human performing at peak efficiency – a properly taken care of human takes care of you properly. Also, we had to prove that we’re better get-well kitties than what’s-her-name. With that done, we wish you the best of luck using our tips to keep your own human in tip-top shape!

Purrs & Headbonks,

Snoops and Kommando Kitty

Pictures courtesy of Google Images


Just a Cold

Why do we say, “I just have a cold,” when someone asks why they can’t understand a word coming out of our mouths? Are we trying to separate it from the Dengue Fever going around the neighborhood? Are we ashamed that we don’t have something more impressive?

I have never met someone with a cold who was not totally miserable. (Some of them were that way before the virus, so they don’t really count.) But we have made it some type of badge of honor to go on as if nothing were wrong. As in, “I came to work today; it’s only a cold.” Well you look like something the dog dragged in from the dumpster, thanks for wanting to share it with me. They sit next to you, coughing and blowing their noses, not noticing that you’re about to gag. Honestly, nothing you do here is so important that you can’t miss a day or two.

Then you have places like my store. Without sick time (and with low wages), the average employee really can’t afford to stay home. It works out well for the company – turnover is so high that there really isn’t anyone else to do the job. Besides, the odds are that you are making the customers sick, not the other employees. So it’s kind of a win-win for the company. The odds of the customer figuring out it was an employee making them sick, rather than the toddler coughing all over everything, are pretty low. Usually people write it off to “something going around”.  I always picture little viruses dressed like spies in the cartoons.

So you can probably tell that I have been sick, and am pretty grouchy about the whole thing. It started with a sore throat. You need to understand that I live in Michigan. There is ‘something in the air’ here, and that something makes it impossible to breathe clearly for approximately half the year (the other half is extremely cold so you more worried about your nose falling off than working correctly). I’m not sure what sinuses are supposed to do, but it must have something to do with carrying around extra gunk your body doesn’t need. I know people who have gotten off the plane saying they felt fine when they left home, but are now sick. Generally, they have a miraculous recovery once they get home.

I remember reading somewhere that the government sent out scouts after the Civil War to find places for the expanding population to inhabit. The report came back from Michigan that it was dismal and swampy; basically unfit for human habitation. I’m guessing they came in early spring when the weather changes constantly and everyone looks and feels groggy. I would have liked to remind them that Washington, DC is built on a swamp. And they are the same people who had granted us statehood thirty-some years earlier.

I’m telling you all of this not to slam Michigan. It’s beautiful, I love it, and I wouldn’t live anywhere else. But to explain why I could have a sore throat for a week and not really think anything of it. So I go to church and see a friend. He laughs and says something about my sinuses. I tell him that for once it’s not in my head, it’s in my throat (is that technically part of the head?). It’s been getting worse, and I think it may be infected. I make it through the service. (I bet God knows I didn’t actually understand anything that was going on). My friend tells me to go home and see a doctor if it really is an infection. I am happy to report that my friends are generally people with some common sense, not the sort who hear sore throat and immediately think diphtheria.

Of course, I don’t see a doctor. I always feel like I should be sicker before I go. By Tuesday, I feel a lot better. I knew it! I wasn’t sick enough to see a doctor! Unfortunately, on Wednesday I didn’t feel quite so well. By Friday, I could barely talk and felt like someone was shoving an ice pick in my ear. I broke down and called the doctor. Turns out whatever was in my throat had decided to move into my ears. They were both infected. I had no idea adults even got ear infections (kinda stupid when I realized that I still get skinned knees and other things that adults should be ‘beyond’).

One of the things that causes problems with ear infections is drastic change in temperature (something about a change in pressure – I think I should have paid more attention in Physics). Working in and out of a cheese cooler is not optimal. So I took a day off. But it wasn’t because I had a cold.