Am I the only person who thinks it’s weird that so many breakfast cereals now come in chocolate versions? No one should start their days with such a pale imitation of a beautiful food like chocolate.
Why would I know what type of cheese the man’s wife buys for snacks? It’s round he says. A cheeseball? No. Actually little squares? No, it’s round. String cheese? No. If you don’t have it, I’ll have to go to another store. Sorry, I don’t know what it could be. Oh, I guess it is string cheese.
Why does it make me feel so good when someone who cuts me off in traffic gets stuck at the same traffic light?
Do I need to serve Nosferatu beer and Haunted wine (red and white) at my Halloween party to be a success? What about 4 Witches and Dragon’s Breath beer? Deviled eggs? Tarantula dip?
Why do they always put one kind of icky candy in with the good stuff in those Halloween bags of candy?
When we are trying not to run into someone while walking, why do we both move in a direction to get in the other’s way? Sometimes more than once?
I pass through two school districts to get to work. Why is it that if I get behind a bus in one district, I also get behind a bus in the other district?
I go to a discount hair salon. Why would people pay $5 every two weeks to get their bangs trimmed if they are going to that salon to save money in the first place?
Why would I need a four-pack of wine stoppers? I thought the point was to finish one bottle before I began the next. Even hosting a dinner, it would only be one red and one white at a time. Maybe I should start hosting wine tastings?
What is the point of those tiny ice cube trays? My little kitties or doggies would be melted before anyone could tell how cute they were. Besides, it seems a little tacky to ask people to guess what is floating in their drinks.
Why are some traffic lights synchronized with each other but not with the speed limit?
Why are there professional hockey teams in places that can’t keep the ice hard enough for part of the season because the weather’s too hot?
Why is the person who works the least in my department the one who got someone to assist him?
Why can I pronounce some words in private, but mangle them when I get in front of people?
Why can I lift 35 pounds of cheese but 35 pounds of salami feels too heavy?
What is the gracious way to tell the 250-lb woman that she really shouldn’t sit on the counter because it wasn’t made to support that much weight?
What is the right wine to recommend to someone who wants “a good wine that will make them drunk”?
What is the correct response when you find out that the person you share an interest in sports with roots for all the teams you hate?
Is fall so pretty so we get sucked into forgetting that we have to rake up all those formerly beautiful dead leaves?
Why do some people appreciate this type of questioning and some think I need more to occupy my mind?