fighting | Adventures in Cheeseland

Snoops: I called this council meeting to discuss how the integration of our household is progressing.

Sgt Stripes: I haven’t seen any fights or fur flying.

Gypsy: There’s still some growling and hissing.

Angel: That’s just you.

Gypsy: It is not. Besides, I need to keep you away from my food. You did try to starve me last year.

Angel: It’s not my fault we didn’t get enough food when we were staying in the sunroom.

Gypsy: You are almost everything we got.

Snoops: Ladies, that’s old news. You need to move on.

Gypsy: What’s your excuse with Sgt Stripes? You growl at him every time he walks by.

Snoops: We have a history. He tried to eat Kommando Kitty when he moved in.

Sgt Stripes: I didn’t try to eat her. I was just trying to play.

Angel: Snoops has a right to keep him at paw’s length.

Sgt Stripes: It’s gotten better. Snoops hasn’t growled at me in two days.

Snoops: You seem to be slightly less annoying.

Sgt Stripes: We all eat breakfast together now.

Angel: Except Onyx. She thinks she’s too good for us.

Onyx: I don’t dislike you. I just don’t see any point in coming downstairs. I have everything I want upstairs.

Sgt Stripes: She does come down for treats sometimes.

Angel: Not since she started getting extra treats upstairs from the blonde kid.

Snoops: We really don’t see much of her.

Onyx: Well, I am pretty busy with my new position. I am the upstairs reading coordinator for the bedtime books for the small humans.

Gypsy: I thought you were an emotional support cat.

Onyx: I am. But since you and Sgt Stripes decided to stay downstairs, there really isn’t another cat to supervise.

Snoops: And we all know the humans need supervision. Especially the little ones.

Gypsy: That reminds me, we need to talk to Thomas Tabby. He’s supposed to be the liaison with the humans. We got that automatic litter box for Christmas and it still isn’t plugged in.

Sgt Stripes: They said something about a cat urinating in the electrical outlet that it was supposed to be plugged into. They want to put it in the utility room where one of the old litter boxes is.

Angel: I don’t want an electric litter box. That sounds scary. What if it eats one of us?

Sgt Stripes: They said it had been tested and is safe. I can’t believe that was our big Christmas present.

Angel: The toys were pretty cool.

Gypsy: I found out that Mom didn’t finish Prince Arthur’s blanket in time for Christmas. So I claimed it.

Snoops: Who’s Prince Arthur?

Sgt Stripes: You know. He lives with that woman who comes here to see our human brother.

Snoops: That’s right. I have enough trouble keeping the cats here straight. I forgot there was another cat involved with things. At least he doesn’t live here.

Angel: We do seem to be at cat capacity. At least I have a good sleeping spot next to the heater.

Sgt Stripes: And we do have a lot of places to snuggle up in.

Snoops: So everyone is pretty content? Meeting adjourned.

Hello, everyone. This is Angel with the latest on the Cheeseland election.The closer we get to the election, the more excited the voters are. In fact, some say the emotions are a little too high. We’ve been hearing stories of arguments erupting at stores and school parking lots.

Right now, folks are gathering for a big Tabocracy rally at Chene Park. Let’s check in with our ace reporter, Sgt Stripes.

Angel: Hey Stripes! How’s it looking down by the river?

Sgt Stripes: This is going to be huge! There are hundreds of cats and other supporters here to hear the final speech before the election. There’s a lot of energy here. There are kibble vendors, kiosks selling Thomas Tabby drinking bowls and glasses, a fellow over here with Thomas Tabby signed posters.

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Suddenly Sgt Stripes jumps back as a group of dogs race past. He follows them to the edge of the crowd where they join a larger group carrying “Vote for Remy” signs.

Sgt Stripes: Apparently we have some voters from the other side. I’ll see if I can talk to them.

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Sgt Stripes starts to approach the group just as Thomas Tabby takes the stage. A massive purring sound greets him.

Thomas Tabby: Good evening everyone. It’s great to see so many of you. The time is now for a Tabocracy.

Heckler #1: It’s not a Tabocracy. You cats just want to run everything!

Heckler #2: Yeah. What are you going to do for the other animals?

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Thomas Tabby: The first thing we need to do is to get the humans to understand the animal perspective. That will make it better for us all, not just the cats. I will set up meetings with the humans and include a variety of animals to get the best outcome. I would be happy to have Remy on the committee. HoH He seems like a good dog.

Heckler #1: Good dog? Good dog?! You’re making him sound like your pet. Show him some respect!

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Thomas Tabby: I didn’t mean to offend anyone. I simply thought he would be a good representative for the doggo perspective. I want to include as many animals as possible to make Cheeseland a better place for all of us.

Heckler #1: How big is this committee?

Heckler #2: And how many are cats. I bet –

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Suddenly there was a loud hissing as a Maine Coon jumped on the heckler. Someone tried to pull her off, Before long, there was a huge fight on that side of the crown. Thomas Tabby tried to calm things down.

Thomas Tabby: Calm down, everyone! We’re trying to find a middle ground so everyone wins. The humans are never going to treat us as equals if we fight like this.

Unfortunately, the crowd was too loud to let anyone hear what he was saying. He waited while the security geese removed everyone who had been fighting. A much smaller crowd was able to listen to the speech Thomas had prepared.