Tag Archives: competition

21

Onyx Dishes the Dirt

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Hello Everyone. It’s me, Onyx. I saw that Gypsy and Angel were talking about me last week. I’m here to set the record straight. It is true that I got out of the house a few times while the weather was still warm. But I’m not the same cat who moved in here a couple of years ago.

Blondie rescued me from the Humane Society when I was young. We bonded and were pretty much inseparable at our old place. It was a good life. But it was loud and crowded. None of us really minded getting more space. Gypsy was a little overwhelmed, but she finally seems to be relaxing a bit.

After we had to move out, both Blondie and I were pretty traumatized, and we stuck together. When she had to go to the hospital the first year, I stayed in our room almost entirely. I generally ignored the “upstairs cats,” Sgt Stripes and Gypsy. I just hung out and waited.

By this summer, I was a lot braver. I started to go into Mom’s room and let her give me pets and treats. Blondie was gone for a long time. I decided it was time to explore the rest of the house. I really liked it on the freezer in the laundry room. I could watch everything from on high.

I’ve been making a lot of changes. I even eat wet food once in a while. I’ve discovered I like fish a lot. I like hanging out in the kitchen. You never know when something yummy is going to appear.

But enough about me. I have things to tell you about all of the cats. The really big news is that Sgt Stripes and Gypsy are a “thing.” They got close when they were both upstairs. But she’s the only one who really bonded with him out of all of us lady cats.

Gypsy has gotten pretty close with Snoops too. When Mom works from home, they tag-team so that one of them is always in her lap. And they don’t even hiss at each other to move. Gypsy has never been social. It’s weird/

Gypsy’s really spoiled. The heat is off in the house. (It’s supposed to be fixed on Tuesday – whatever that is.) Mom put a towel in a clothes basket so Gypsy wouldn’t get cold. Nobody offered me a blanket.

And that big tabby has stolen my prime spot on the freezer. One day, he just bounced out and took it. He’s done the same thing with my eating spot in the kitchen. He just jumps up and sits there in my spot. He is so rude! Mom told me to just ignore him, that he’s really gentle. She wouldn’t want someone three times her size to take her seat.

I can’t forget Angel. She’s pretty much okay. She really wants my spot with Blondie. She hangs out with her when they watch TV in the living room. Blondie is having foot surgery again soon, so she’ll be staying downstairs for awhile. I need to make sure Angel doesn’t steal my human entirely.

I think the last thing is that Snoops fell asleep on guard duty the other day. She was supposed to be making sure the cookies got safely put away. I guess she got bored. It was pretty funny to watch. At least she hasn’t fallen asleep on mouse patrol. She really is the only excellent mouser in the group.

I guess that’s all the news here. Hope you enjoyed the rundown.

23

How Much Fish is Too Much Fish?

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A cat in front of a fish stall in a market in the sichon province of southern thailand | Premium Photo

You may recall that one of the prizes at the Cheeseland Rummage Sale was an All you Can eat dinner for six at Freddy’s Fish Factory. The lucky winner was Rex Rutford, an elegant tabby who invited five friends and family members to join him.

Our own elegant tabby, Sgt Stripes, joined them for the dinner. He speaking with Angela Rutford, Rex’s lovely wife.

Sgt Stripes: Hi Angela. Pleased to meet you. It looks like you are going to have quite a feast.

Angela: We are really excited to be here. Rex and I both love fish, and I’ve heard so many great things about Freddy’s.

Sgt Stripes: And who are your lucky fellow diners?

Cat Birthday Party

Angela: This is our son Fernando. And our neighbors Luke and Kitty, and finally, our nephew Tommy.

Sgt Stripes: I hope everyone’s hungry.

Fernando: I haven’t eaten all day. I’m starving.

Tommy: Me too. Fernando and I have a bet over who will eat the most fish.

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Sgt Stripes: Good luck to both of you. What’s at stake?

Tommy: The loser has to buy the winner a bag of their favorite treats. Mine are beef/liver.

Fernando: And mine are tuna.

Luke: What happens if I eat more than either of you?

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Fernando: I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Rex: It might. He’s bigger than either of you.

Tommy: But that won’t matter if we’re hungrier.

Luke: I still think I can eat more.

Some Facts About Cats Talking To Each Other

Kitty: Luke honey, they just have a wager between friends. It’s not a challenge to you.

Luke: Nonsense. If they’re going to compete at the table, anyone at the table should be allowed to join.

Rex: How about it, boys? Can Luke be part of your challenge/

Luke: You should join too, Rex.

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Rex: Hmm. Maybe I will. What do you think, dear?

Angela: I think that it’s ridiculous you’re turning a nice dinner into a competition. With your son, of all cats.

Rex: It’s just for fun. The four male cats competing to see who’s the best.

Kitty: At being a glutton?

The complete guide to raising a kitten: Part 7 – 7 super simple homemade treats guaranteed to make one happy kitty - RSPCA South Australia

Angela giggled and looked at Fernando.

Angela: It’s okay, honey. I’ll buy treats for both of you if either of them win.

Fernando: I guess its okay.

They were interrupted by the waitress.

A Vet's Guide to the Risks and Benefits of Feeding Fish to Your Feline Friend | Holistic Vet Blend

Waitress: Hello everyone. My name is Ruby. Welcome to Freddy’s. Has anyone been here before?

Everyone shook their head.

Sgt Stripes: They won a free meal at the Rummage Sale.

Ruby: Excellent. Here’s how it works. You order your favorite type of fish. We’ll bring you two pieces to start. If you want more, put your plate at the edge of the table. I’ll bring you two more pieces. What would you like to drink and what type of fish would you prefer?

Waiter! Bring me food!

Angela: Goodness. That sounds like a lot of fish. I’d like mackerel and water, please.

Kitty: That sounds good. I’ll have the same.

Fernando: Tuna and water, please.

Luke: Salmon and water.

Tommy: Salmon and water.

Rex: Bass and water.

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Ruby: Thank you. I’ll bring two fountains for you to share and be back with your fish when it’s ready.

Luke: I think I like this place.

Kitty: Yes. They have a lot of choices. Does anyone want to go to the salad bar?

Luke: Not a chance. I’m going to be filling up on fish.

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Their orders appeared a few minutes later. The ladies were relieved to see that the portions were manageable.

Angela: This looks delicious.

Fernando: It tastes great too.

Kitty: And I like that they don’t try to stuff you.

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The male cats finished their fish quickly and put out their plates for more. Ruby quickly refilled their plates.

Ruby: Would you ladies like more?

Angela: I think we’re set for the moment.

The male cats are the second serving quickly, but not as quickly as the first. Rex slowed down significantly at the end.

Cat sitting on a table 2025

Ruby: You boys ready for more?

Rex: I think I’m done, thank you. You guys go ahead. I’m full, but not too full.

Luke: Where’s your spirit of competition?

Rex: I want to remember this as a pleasant meal.

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Luke, Fernando, and Tommy set to work on their third plate. Suddenly, Luke sat up and ran for the door. The other cats watched him with surprise.

Rex: What do you supposed that was about?

Tommy: Classic scarf and barf, I think. He probably isn’t used to this much so quickly.

Kitty: Poor thing. I’ll go make sure he’s okay.

Rex: Guess I won’t be remembering this as a pleasant experience after all.

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Angela: Boys, I think you need to stop eating after this plate. I don’t want either of you to get sick.

Fernando: I’m not feeling that great right now either.

Tommy: Yeah. I’m done too.

Rex: What about the bet? It looks like you ended in a tie.

Angela: I’m proud of you both for knowing when to quit. I’ll buy you each a bag of treats.

Multi-cat Households | Useful Tips & Common Issues | Medivet

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

29

Gypsy Katt and The Mating Game

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Hey Everyone! It’s me, Gypsy. Hope I didn’t scare you with the title. This is NOT about me finding a mate. I have my buddy Sgt Stripes and that is enough mancat drama for me. I have something a lot more fun. 

I don’t know about the weather around you, but here it has not been great for watching Cat TV. It’s been humid, overcast, and HOT. The only time anything’s moving is really early and after dark. But I found something on that box the humans watch that is really good and made for the feline audience. It’s called The Mating Game.

The way it works is that a lady cat sits in front of a screen. Behind the screen, there are three guy cats all called Tom. The lady asks the Toms a bunch of questions, trying to decide which one she’d like to go on a romantic walk with. (If you live with a really old human, like Mom, they might remember the human version. I saw one show. The cat version is a LOT better.) Here’s some highlights from the most recent episode:

A cat sits on a stool with the word cat on it. | Premium AI-generated image

Lady Guinevere: Tom #1, describe yourself in three words.

Tom 1: Fun, adventurous, and fearless.

Lady Guinevere: Ooh. What about you, Tom #2?

Tom 2: Smart, quiet, and regal.

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Lady Guinevere: Sounds promising. Tom #3?

Tom 3: Quiet, caring, and polite (for a cat).

Lady Guinevere: Very nice. Tom #2, describe a perfect evening.

Tom 2: We could go to a small cafe, enjoy some tuna and catnip tea, then go for a walk in the moonlight.

Lady Guinevere: That does sound nice. What about you, Tom #3?

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Tom 3: I would bring you a mouse, then I would make you a shrimp and cat grass salad. I’d walk you home to make sure you arrived safely.

Lady Guinevere: Is that a live mouse or a toy?

Tom 3: Your choice, m’lady.

Lady Guinevere: You are a kind kitty. What about you, Tom #1?

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Tom 1: I would take you to my balcony and teach you how to jump on humans.

Lady Guinevere: I’m not sure that’s quite my style.

Tom 1: You’d love it if you gave it a try. Humans can yell really loud.

Lady Guinevere: Maybe. Final question. Tom #3, who’s your favorite human (living or dead)?

Tom 3: Definitely the one I live with. She doesn’t even get mad when I hack up a hairball.

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Lady Guinevere: She does sound excellent. Tom #1?

Tom #1: Those Egyptian dudes. They worshipped us.

Lady Guinevere: Fair enough. What about you, Tom #2?

Tom 2: I think Isaac Newton. They say he invented the cat door/flap. A major convenience.

Host: All right, Lady Guinevere. It’s time to make up your mind. Any final questions?

File:Inquisitive cat.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Lady Guinevere: Actually. I do. Tom #2, you sound very familiar. Have we met?

Host: I’m sure you’ve never met. We research our contestants thoroughly. There’s no chance you’ve ever met any of these cats. Are you ready to choose?

Lady Guinevere: I think so. I’d like to meet Tom #3. He seems like such a nice kitty.

They lifted the curtains between Lady Guinevere and the contestants. She looked at the three Toms. She was looks intently at Tom #2.

Lady Guinevere: Ewww. Tom #2 is my brother. That’s disgusting. I don’t want to go on a date with my brother!

Tom #3: Actually, you won’t be going out with him. You’ll be going out with me. You chose me.

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Lady Guinevere: But I might have chosen him.

Host: Actually, a lot of our contestants have said that they wouldn’t mind going on a date with their brother. You might be a little overly sensitive.

Lady Guinevere: Yuck!

The credits start rolling across the screen.

0

Slothly Ruminations on Human Behavior – Part Two

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Image result for sloths  Les Sloth, Guest Contributor

Conventions are very strange things. For example, they are very boring. At least this one is. The beautiful, talented people are actually competing against each other. But they don’t talk to each other or fight. It’s not like those people on TV who are competing to be President; whatever that it. I guess those people are not beautiful and talented.

Mainly we have been sitting in a room and watching people walk and talk. Everyone is dressed very nicely. I wonder what they do with all of those nice clothes when they are home. Particularly some of the people on the runway. I have never seen Cat or B in anything like that.

B only walked one time. I thought she was very pretty. She was wearing jeans and looked really normal compared to some of the other people I saw. I guess she did OK. She didn’t fall in front of everyone and that was important she said.

She talked a lot though. A few times she sounded like she was trying to sell things to the other people. The other times she just sounded like she was just rambling about something. She sounded most normal then. She sang one time too.

There were a few people who watched and wrote things down. Some of the other beautiful, talented people watched too. The people B knew all watched each other. They told each other how great they were. The people who wrote things down never told anyone they were great. They didn’t smile at anyone either.

I think Cat will be very happy with the job that C has done. B has not been crazy at all the entire trip. C does interesting things during the day while B watches people walk and talk. I think she has actually been outside the building.

I think I have done a good job too. No strange people have come near except the ones she wants to talk to. The other night the lady with the black hair who is in charge of B’s group lost her phone. While they we looking for the phone, one of the guys had his wallet stolen. That wouldn’t have happened if he had a sloth bodyguard.

The PR part is working too. Already a couple of people have asked for B’s picture and wanted a private audition. It’s a good thing that they wanted pictures. The lady with the black hair wanted B to take at least 50 or 60 pictures with her. She also had to take resumes. They took up a lot of space in her bag. So did the clothes and shoes, but I don’t think she’s supposed to give those to anyone.

The only things left to do are callbacks and the awards dinner. I’m not really sure what a callback is. B says they don’t have anything to do with phones or people calling out her name. I don’t know what kind of awards they are giving out. I really hope they only talk after we eat. I think they will have a salad so I can eat too. Then I can sleep while they talk.

We are going home the day after that. I have to lay on one of those machines again so they can make sure I’m not going to blow up the plane. I hope Cat is there to meet us. This trip has been the longest six days of my life.