25

How Not to Wake Up From Hibernation

Yellow-bellied Marmot

Sophie Marmot and her two daughters,Nikki and Zoe, had moved into a large new burrow at the beginning of last summer. It was at the edge of the woods near some large rocks. She had wanted to burrow toward the woods, but the Homeowners Association (HOA) had said that burrows could not be pointed in that direction. Maurice, the head of the HOA, gave Sophie a binder full of rules regarding what she could and couldn’t do with her property.

What is hibernation? - Nature Alberta

Regardless of the restrictions, Sophie and the girls loved their new home. The door was well-hidden under a rock, and there was plenty of space for living and sleeping. They happily settled into hibernation in October and passed the winter peacefully. As they slowly began to come out of hibernation, they were startled awake by a loud pounding.

Zoe: Mama, what is that?

Nikki: It sounds like it’s coming right into the burrow.

Marmots

Sophie: Don’t worry. I’m sure we’re safe in here. It just sounds very loud.

They huddled together and waited for the noise to stop. Suddenly, with a loud bang, a rod came through the ceiling of the tunnel. It barely missed Nikki. She screamed.

Sophie: That’s enough. I’m going outside to see what is going on.

Zoe: We’re coming too. I’m afraid they won’t miss us if they do that again.

The Marmots of British Columbia ...

They quietly crawled along the tunnel until they reached the door. Sunlight was streaming into the tunnel.

Nikki: Where’s our rock, Mama? Did a badger try to get in to eat us?

Zoe: Or a wolf or a coyote?

Sophie: Don’t worry girls. I’m sure we were much too far in the tunnel for anyone to come hunting for us.

Why do beavers build dams? - BBC Science Focus Magazine

They cautiously crept out of the tunnel and looked around. There were beavers everywhere, working on what appeared to be a large building. Sophie walked up to one of them and asked who was in charge. He pointed at two beavers talking to each other at the edge of the woods.

Sophie: Excuse me, the beaver said that you are in charge of what is going on? Who are you?

Beaver: My name is Jacques, and this is my brother Marcel. We own J&M Builders.

Bringing back beavers | Shropshire Wildlife Trust

Zoe: I know you. I’ve seen you on AniGram. You have those, “We build til you’re thrilled” videos.

Marcel: Yep, That’s us.

Zoe: Why are you here?

Jacques: We’re building a clubhouse for the Marmot Meadows subdivision.

Sophie: Why are you building it on top of our burrow? You almost killed us.

Jacques: Sorry, Ma’am. We’re just following orders.

Aspen and Juniper: A Beaver Love Story | Smithsonian's National Zoo and  Conservation Biology Institute

Sophie: Who hired you?

Jacques: Let me check. It looks like the paperwork was signed by Maurice Dupree. Do you know anyone by that name?

Sophie: Yes. He’s the idiot who told me I had to dig my burrow here. You can’t put a building over my burrow.

Jacques: I think you need to take it up with Mr. Dupree. We can’t make any changes unless he tells us to stop what we’re doing.

A Relocated Bear Walked 1,000 Miles Back to Its Favorite Campsite

Sophie walked away chittering to herself. She was so angry, she almost ran into a large black bear.

Sophie: I’m very sorry. Please forgive me.

Bear: Not a problem. I’m Rafael. Are you a marmot by chance?

Sophie: Yes I am. Why do you ask?

Rafael: I’m looking for a Marmot named Maurice. Do you know where I might find him?

Whisper | The Walt Disney Family Museum

Sophie: I’m looking for him myself. He seems to have authorized those beavers to put their building up over my burrow.

They had reached Maurice’s door. Sophie knocked, and Maurice came to the door.

Maurice: Rafael! Good to see you. How are things going?

Rafael: Can’t complain. I just wanted to thank you for moving your clubhouse away from our den. I’m sure it will be a lot quieter at our end of the woods now.

Sophie: On the other hand, I’m here to complain. Your clubhouse is going to be directly over my burrow. The girls and I aren’t going to get any sleep. And they put a pole right through our dining room. It’s not safe.

Angry Marmot | Explore: Highest position 456 | Luca Bobbiesi | Flickr

Maurice: Sophie, dear. Just let them finish. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you expect. The rest of us hibernate at the same time you do. You won’t be disturbed at all.

Sophie: I paid a lot for that spot. I should be able to enjoy it.

Maurice: Perhaps you didn’t read the special assessment you signed last fall. It said that we would be building a clubhouse for all members and it would be centrally located. There really isn’t anything I can do for you.

Sophie was furious, but she walked off.

Groundhog Standing | Anne Ahearne | Flickr

Next week: Can Sophie get her privacy back?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

25

A Gator Family Wedding – Part 3

Alligator Hatchling

Where we are: The family is gathering in the Everglades for Stu and Amanda’s wedding.The ceremony will be on the beach with reception following in the swamp. They finally got all the details straightened out. The only problem is that Stu didn’t make it home from the bachelor party, and no one knows where he is. Amanda, the bride, and Vinny, Stu’s son, are fighting. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Angry Crocodile | Nile Crocodile | Jim Hatzell | Flickr

Amanda: I knew a bachelor party was a bad idea. How did you lose your father?

Vinny: I didn’t lose him. We all left together. I don’t know why he didn’t get on the boat.

Amanda: Didn’t you check to make sure he was on the boat before you left?

Vinny: He was right behind me. I don’t know what happened.

Amanda: Well you need to find him. The wedding is in two days.

Vinny was angry. Why did his father always disappear when something important was happening. He had never met another gator who was so likely to disappear with no notice. Someone knocked at the door.

Crocodiles in suburbia: here's how they navigate our world

Amanda: Stu! Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you!

Stu: Honey, I’ve told you never to worry about me. I get sidetracked but eventually I always find my way home.

Amanda: Thank goodness! Vinny and I were worried sick. I thought he’d left you behind.

Stu: Technically, he did. When we were leaving, he spent so much time talking at the dock, that I decided to use the washroom. He was just pulling out. I guess he couldn’t hear me over the motor.

S.S. Why I Otter” Provides Environment Enrichment at Aquarium | UTC News

Amanda: How did you get back?

Stu: A very nice otter brought me back on his raft.

Vinny: We’re glad you made it home.

Stu: I always do. You worry too much.

Brown Bears, Alaska Bear Camp and Being There

The wedding was held two days later on the beach. The bear in charge created a beautiful ceremony. Afterward, everyone went to the Everglades Inn for the reception.Stu had managed to get his old band Acrocalypse to play. Amanda wasn’t a huge fan of punk croc music, but she agreed to a compromise. Her string quartet played during dinner, and Stu’s buddies played afterwards.

Alligators love pink

Adele: That was a lovely wedding, don’t you think?

Stan: It went much smoother than I expected.

Justine: Where are they going for their honeymoon?

Adele: I don’t know. We can ask them when they come by.

Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency officials say alligators are migrating  to Tennessee.

A while later.

Stan: Here’s the happy couple. Congratulations!

Stu: Thank you. I thought it went well.

Amanda: The weather was perfect.

Suzy: Where are you going for your honeymoon?

Premium Photo | Cuban crocodile is jumping out of the water

Stu and Amanda answered together.

Amanda: Grand Cayman.

Stu: Grand Canyon.

They looked at each other and started to laugh.

Stu: I guess we’ll have to look at the tickets when we get back to our room.

Official Looks for Alligator Near Arizona Strip | KSL.com

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Hibernation Season: Five’s a Crowd – Part 2

Can you see a bear in the winter? – Kodiak Wildlife Products | Bear Spray |  Bear Bangers | Wild Life Safety Kits | Bear Bells

Where we are: The bears are getting ready to take a long winter’s nap. But when Mama and Papa Bear return from a family reunion to their cozy den, they discover that their son has brought home a friend with nowhere to spend the winter. The relative he is supposed to stay with is nowhere to be found. You can read about it here.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear are trying to find somewhere for Bubba to hibernate.

Rare Moments with an Amazing Grizzly Bear Family

Mama Bear: Maybe we can find him a spot on the ads from The Weekly Bear Gazette.

Papa Bear: That’s a great idea! There’s a section for bears looking to connect with other bears. Let’s see what they have.

Mama Bear: Here’s one: Older male bear looking for someone to share sleeping space for this years hibernation. Prefer female bears who are looking to start a family. Must be willing to forage for food. Some cleaning responsibilities as well.

Evie: Eww! That’s creepy.

🔥 Alaskan Grizzly bear family : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Mama Bear: It definitely is. Let’s see what else we can find: Looking for a young strong male bear. Must be willing to live with young cubs. We can build a den together for the winter.

Papa Bear: I don’t think we’re going to find anything in there. Those sound more like dating ads than roommate solicitations.

Mama Bear: Have you had any luck tracking down Cornelius? Bubba is supposed to be staying with him.

Pin page

Papa Bear: Not really. I guess I’m going to have to talk with Madame Goldie.

Evie: That’s a funny name. Who’s Madame Goldie?

Papa Bear: She says she can see things that no one else can.

Mama Bear: You don’t believe that, do you?

Papa Bear: Not really. But I don’t know who else to ask.

Bear Hibernation: The Science Behind Their Long Winter Sleep - Lions Tigers  and Bears

Mama Bear: Maybe we should just let him stay here. We might be able to rearrange things to make it more comfortable.

Papa Bear: I think we should at least try to find his family.

Papa Bear went deeper into the woods. It looked like a lot of bears had already settled in for the winter. He finally found Madame Goldie. 

Madame Goldie: Hello, sir. What brings you into this part of the woods? Are you trying to find a place to stay for the winter. I can help you find a den?

Kodiak Grizzly/Brown Bear Cub | Another shot of Shaggy. She … | Flickr

Papa Bear: No, I’m set for the winter. I’m trying to help a young friend find his family. His name is Bubba and he’s looking for someone named Cornelius. It’s his cousin or uncle or something.

Madame Goldie: What does Cornelius look like?

Papa Bear: I’m really not sure. Bubba is brown and shaggy, so maybe someone like that?

Two Bears For Every Believer | Grace for the Race

Madame Goldie called out to her son.

Madame Goldie: Walter! Come out here please.

Walter: What do you need, Mummy?

Madame Goldie: This gentleman is looking for a bear named Cornelius. Apparently a relative is looking for him..Do you remember anybody with that name passing by?

Checking in with the sloth bear cubs

Walter: That doesn’t really sound familiar. Ruthie!

A smaller bear came out.

Ruthie: What do you need Walter?

Walter: Do you remember meeting a bear named Cornelius? This fellow is looking for him.

Ruthie: Hmm. That name does sound familiar. Let me look through the books.

Bear Wearing Glasses Reading Book | Stable Diffusion Online

Ruthie got out a large ledger while Papa Bear waited, somewhat confused.

Ruthie: Here he is. I thought I recognized the name.

Papa Bear: Can you tell me where I can find Cornelius? A family member is looking for him.

Ruthie: I don’t think that is possible. Cornelius was part of a group of bears who moved into the city and domesticated. We’ve totally lost touch with them.

Papa Bear: That’s very unfortunate. Thank you for your time.

Bear wanders into City Hall in South Lake Tahoe

Papa Bear headed home. It was snowing again, and he was very tired. He would have to talk to his family to see what they wanted to do with Bubba. When he got home, the den looked different but he couldn’t figure out why.

Cody: Hi, Papa! Any luck finding Cornelius?

Papa Bear: I’m afraid not. He has moved to the city and domesticated. There’s no way to reach him.

AMAZING video of Black Bear Emerging from Den

Mama Bear: That’s too bad, dear. Do you like what we’ve done with the den?

Papa Bear: What did you do?

Mama Bear: Cody and Bubba enlarged it with some old logs and a lot of dirt and leaves.

Cody: I was afraid that you wouldn’t be able to find another spot for Bubba, so we made some space at our house.

Bear family on a bog : r/bears

Papa Bear: You are all comfortable with Bubba staying here?

Mama Bear: It’s really the only option. We need to get to sleep very soon.

Evie: We can’t leave Bubba out to freeze.

Papa Bear: So it’s settled. Welcome, Bubba.

Bubba: Thank you. I think we’ll have a good winter.

Sleeping grizzly bear stock image. Image of nature, hair - 24477713

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

18

Hibernation Season: Five’s a Crowd

Brookfield Zoo Chicago on X: "Bear-y cute cuddle puddle alert! 🐻🐻 Tim and  Jess are always together, exploring their habitat with endless curiosity  and cuddles. The animal care team reports the siblings

Mama and Papa Bear were returning from a family reunion with their daughter Evie. Their son Cody had chosen to stay home and get the den ready for hibernation.

Mama Bear: I can’t wait to get home. All I want to do is sleep.

Papa Bear: Me too. I can’t believe how much salmon your mother brought.

Evie: And the clams were scrumptious. I’ve never had them before.

What Happened To Our Pumpkin? | Lake Lure North Carolina

Mama Bear: I think my favorite was the berry pie.

Evie: The honey ice cream was really good too.

Papa Bear: It was the perfect end to the season. Now it’s time for a long winter’s nap. I hope Cody did a good job gathering leaves and moss and bedding. He’s never done it before.

Evie: How hard can it be? Our den isn’t that big. There’s just enough space for the four of us.

Brown bear winter cave

Mama Bear: It’s the perfect size. And it’s in a great location. Right behind those rocks so no one can see us.

Papa Bear: We were really lucky to find it. I hear that some of the bears couldn’t find space locally and had to go further up the river.

As the bears walk along, they stop and wish some of their neighbors happy hibernation. They finally reach their den. Cody is outside eating a few late berries.

Cody: Hi, guys! Did you have a good time?

Animal Names - a group of bears is called a sleuth or a sloth. (Not sure if  they can see the future though.) : r/PopcornCulture

Evie: It was wonderful! You really missed a feast. Everyone asked about you.

Cody: Maybe next year. But I’ve been busy, making the den extra cozy.

Mama Bear: Wonderful! Let me see.

Cody: Umm. There’s something that I need to tell you.

Mama Bear: We can talk inside. I’m ready for bed.

sleepy grizzly bear | Inhabitat - Green Design, Innovation, Architecture,  Green Building

Cody: Well, that’s what I wanted to talk…

Evie had walked into the den.

Evie: Oh kettlefish! There’s a strange bear in here.

She ran back out and hid behind her mother.

Scared bear

Mama Bear: Why is there a strange bear in our den?

Cody: He’s not really a strange bear. That’s Bubba. He’s a friend of mine.

Papa Bear: Okay. Why is there a Bubba Bear in our den? It’s time for hibernation.

Cody: He’s a friend of mine from bear scouts. We were goofing around by the river. When it was time to come home, he told me that his family didn’t have any place of their own to winter. They were trying to split up and stay with relatives. I couldn’t just leave him there.

Papa Bear: Please ask him to come outside.

Very shaggy bear - Picture of Bear Country USA, Rapid City - Tripadvisor

A rather shaggy young bear comes out. He looks at the family.

Papa Bear: Who are you supposed to be staying with this winter?

Bubba: I have a cousin Cornelius who said he had room. But I haven’t been able to find him. They said that if I followed around the bend in the river, I couldn’t miss him.

Cody: We looked, and we couldn’t find him.

Brown Bear Family

Papa Bear: I don’t know of any bears around here named Cornelius. Where’s the rest of your family?

Bubba: My Grandma said she could find places for them if they went north. They plan on coming back down here in the spring.

Mama Bear: So they’re already gone? Without making sure you were safe?

Bubba: Yes ma’am. My daddy said that I was old enough to find Cornelius on my own.

31 Animals That Use Each Other As Pillows | Bored Panda

Cody: Do you think he could stay with us?

Evie: There’s not enough room.

Cody: We can’t just let him freeze.

Mama Bear and Papa Bear looked at each other, then at Bubba. As if it were planned, a light snow began to fall.

What Time of Year is Best to See Bears in Jackson Hole?

Next week: Where will Bubba spend the winter?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

9

AIU: Hibernation Havoc, Part 2

Autumn Grizzly | Grizzly Bear amongst the fall foliage in Ye… | Flickr

Our Original Poster (OP) wanted to know if he was Unbearable for not wanting his “Woods Bear” brother-in-law (BIL) to move in for the winter hibernation. The brother-in-law Dave had always done a full hibernation in the woods and wants to try a semi-hibernation at OP’s house. You can read the details here.

The Calgary Zoo - Don't let this sleepy bear fool you-... | Facebook

Hi everyone. First I want to thank everyone for their input. Apparently, I didn’t make it clear that it wasn’t a debate over which type of hibernation is better. I am very happy with my version of hibernation and have no intention of doing a full hibernation. I understand that bears have been hibernating for generations. I was looking for some input on whether I am wrong not wanting my brother-in-law Dave to have his first semi-hibernation in my house.

Brown bear Siggi at BEAR SANCTUARY Müritz

Dancing Bear_101: NU (Not Unbearable): It’s your house. You need to have a talk with your wife to find a solution you can both live with. Having an overtired house guest for several months is going to leave everyone cranky.

California: bear soaks in hot tub to beat the heat | California | The  Guardian

Sarey Beary: Unless you are leaving something out, it doesn’t seem like you are objecting to helping your BIL move into a more (sub)urban lifestyle. You just don’t want his first experience to be miserable for all of you. Doesn’t your wife remember how hard it was for her? NU

OP: Pamela does remember. That’s why she wants to help her brother through his first winter.

talking.

BeckyBruin: YAW (You’re All Wrong). It sounds like you spoke for the household before discussing it with your wife. Your wife shouldn’t be discussing it with her family without involving you. BIL for not accepting “No” as an answers. Your in-laws for getting involved with something that doesn’t really concern them.

Can you see a bear in the winter? – Kodiak Wildlife Products | Bear Spray |  Bear Bangers | Wild Life Safety Kits | Bear Bells

Bobbo123: Do you even have room for an extra adult bear? I’m a pretty gentrified bear, and I am definitely grumpier in the winter than the rest of the year. Sometimes there are weeks where I don’t want to do anything but sleep. Other times, I’m pretty much my regular self. Your BIL has no idea how his body is going to adapt.

OP: Space isn’t really the issue. Our son has moved out, and his room is open right now.

Black Bear In The Woods Fine Art Photo Print For Sale | Photos by Joseph C.  Filer

ReggaeBear101: NU for not wanting Dave in your house for the winter. YAU (You are Unbearable) for the lack of communication with your wife. This is definitely a situation where you want to decide your position before you give an answer. Question: Have your in-laws ever accused you of being judgmental of their lifestyle before?

OP: Honestly, we don’t see Pamela’s family very often. They are not comfortable coming out of the woods. We have to go there if we want to see them. Pamela video-chats with them regularly.

With more bears in streets and homes of foothill cities, LA County demands  action – Daily News

Twiggle: It seems kinda weird to me that this decision seems to have emerged out of nowhere. Did Dave ever say he wanted to be a city bear before? It’s a pretty big step to move away from the woods into someone’s house. Maybe something else is going on with him that you don’t know about?

OP: I don’t think Dave wants to move here. I think he wants to see what a semi-hibernation is like. He doesn’t understand that it takes more than a few weeks of artificial light to make it work.

Don't Wake the Bear!

SugarPop: NU. If Dave wants to try semi-hibernation, he can check with Bears R Bears. They should have a list of places that accept first-time semi-hibernators. He’ll even have staff in case he needs something.

OP: We can mention it to him. I’m not sure he could afford it.

GingerBear: YAU. He’s family. Family helps family.

Genuine Bear Hug, Katmai N.P. (Alaska)

OP: I wanted to update everyone. Pamela and I had a long conversation. She has been missing her family a lot. She really wants to be able to spend some time with her brother. We have a fully finished basement, and I agreed that he could spend the winter there. He’s welcome to be with us as long as he doesn’t get mean from lack of sleep. My guess is that he will be spending most of the winter down there, asleep.

Bear Family Found Hibernating Underneath California Home

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

14

AIU: Hibernation Havoc

Alaska Magazine | A sloth of bears, and other inventive names for Alaska  wildlife

The poster has written to the Am I Unbearable (AIU) forum to get some feedback on an issue he is having with his brother-in-law regarding sleeping arrangements for the upcoming hibernation season.

My darling partner Pamela (7f) and I (8m) have been together for several years. We are both successful in our careers. I am the spokes-bear for our local park system and Pamela is a technology whiz who works from home. We are the proud parents of two cubs, one of whom is still at home.

Grizzly bear photographed roaming near downtown Quesnel, B.C. | CBC News

A little background: I come from a very progressive family. We were early adopters of the movement to get bears out of the woods and into structured society. My grandfather was the first bear on the city council. He worked tirelessly to make our home town into a place where all animals could live together in peace.

Cuteness overload: brown bear cubs becoming best buds

I met Pamela during a sit-in protesting the use of “bear spray” by the police department. She was the most beautiful bear I had ever seen. She is a wondrous creature, gentle and soft-spoken. And really smart. I fell in love almost immediately, and we’ve been together ever since.

Pamela’s family still lives in the woods. They are very nice bears, just not interested in anything outside of their own world.

Hibernating bats have similar metabolism to that of hibernating bears

As you probably know, when bears become part of the “civilized” world, we lose some of our “bearness.” Most importantly to this issue is that we don’t do a full hibernation anymore. Because we don’t live outside, our bodies aren’t fully synced with the seasons. It’s more of a grogginess than a full sleep.

A Bedtime Story: How Nature and Nurture Help Grizzly Bears Hibernate | The  Maryland Zoo

Pamela’s younger brother Dave has been saying that he really wants to try doing a “semi hibernation.” I’ve explained that he doesn’t really understand what happens. He can’t just choose to not hibernate. He’s lived deep in the woods his whole life.

I didn’t know anything else, so I actually find it kind of weird that Pamela’s family disappears for five to six months every year. The first couple of years, she really struggled with the change. I don’t think Dave has any idea what he’s trying to do.

Angry Bear Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

Here’s where I might be Unbearable. Dave has asked to live with us for the winter. In fact, he wants to move in by the end of the month. He says that living with artificial light will make it easier to not fall into a deep sleep. I told him that I really didn’t want him to use our house as an experiment. Bears can get pretty unpleasant when they don’t get enough sleep.

🔥 This bear has reached peak boredom : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Pamela said that I should have talked it over with her before I told Dave that he wasn’t welcome. She thinks I’m a hypocrite for saying that I want bears to integrate more into the general population, but when her brother wants to try it I won’t help him. I don’t think Dave wants to integrate; I think he just wants to try something different.

1,000 Kilometers from the Coast, Bears Gorge on Ocean Fish | Hakai Magazine

We don’t eat as heavily in the fall as bears who do a full hibernation. Dave’s been power eating for the past month and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to find enough to eat in town. We have a good pantry, but not enough for a full-grown male bears in hibernation prep.

Bears in the woods

Pamela’s family think that I don’t want Dave here because I look down on “woods bears.” They are saying that if I really think of them as family, I won’t mind having him stay here all winter. I’m more concerned with having a 400-pound grumpy male bear who isn’t getting enough sleep.

So, I’m asking your opinion. Am I Unbearable?

Final Frame: Brown Bear Greeting

Next week – see what the readers think.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

18

Gator on the Loose – Part 2

Two cute alligators | Two alligators of the Walter Zoo lying… | Flickr

Where we are: Uncle Stu had been missing for three weeks. The gators had not heard from either him or his lady friend they had located on GatorGram. Granny was ready to file a missing gator report with the police. Stan and his family were watching curling on TV when they heard a knock.

Stan: Stu! Come in!

Stu walked slowly into the house, followed by a lady gator. He had a bandage around his tail.

Justine: Uncle Stu! What happened to you?

Stu: It’s nothing. Just a little frostbite.

Justine: How’d you get frostbite?

Adele: Hello Stu! It’s good to see you! Who’s your friend?

Kiawah Island Gator Female | A nice mature female alligator … | Flickr

Stu: This is Amanda. She’s the lady I met last year when I got lost up here.

Amanda: Hello, everyone. It’s nice to meet you.

Suzy: Are you the lady from GatorGram?

Amanda (laughing): Yes, I am. I didn’t respond because Stu and I have been on a little adventure.

Stan: What kind of adventure?

Stu: I signed us up for a Caribbean cruise.

Justine: Ooh! That sounds nice! Why didn’t you tell anyone?

Just one of the Alligator sightings - Picture of River Lilly Cruises, Port Saint Lucie - Tripadvisor

Stu: My son Vince was being kind of a jerk at Christmas. He told me I was too old for a girlfriend. That I should be saving my money in case I need it for some kind of emergency.

Amanda: Stu decided that he would prove Vince wrong. He came up to South Carolina and told me we were going to the Bahamas.

Suzy: That sounds pretty amazing.

Stu: Yeah. It probably would have been. Unfortunately, I got in the wrong line. We ended up on some kind of winter adventure in Nova Scotia.

Amanda: It is really cold in Nova Scotia in January.

Stu: We almost got iced in. I guess I spent a little too much time up top on the boat talking to the captain. My tail got a touch of frostbite.

Alligators stick their snouts above freezing waters to breathe | CNN

Adele: Are you going to be okay? You’re not going to lose your tail are you?

Amanda: They were a little worried. We had to get off the ship. Stu spent the last few days in a hospital. They saved the tail, but he can’t be anywhere cold again.

Stu: Yeah. I guess I’ll be staying down here from now on. I’d look pretty funny without a tail.

Justine: That sounds really painful.

Stu: It’s not too bad. I’m a tough old gator.

Stan: Well, we’re glad you’re okay. Does Granny know you’re safe? She’s ready to report you missing.

Watch This Angry Alligator Invade a Family's Porch and Refuse to Go Quietly

Stu: That’s my sister. Always overreacting. I’ll call her when we’re done here.

Stan: You did disappear with no trace.

Stu: I guess. But Vince should have known better.

Suzy: He said you’d show up when you were ready.

Stu: And here I am.

Justine: Why did you come here instead of going home?

Stu: I had to bring Amanda home. I don’t know what I would have done without her. She’s the one who realized we were on the wrong ship.

Amanda: Unfortunately, by the time I saw the paperwork, we were already at sea.

Winter means hibernation for some — but not all — of Kodiak's bears - Alaska Public Media

Stu: I probably should have known we weren’t in the right place. We were the only alligators on board.

Amanda: There were a lot of bears.

Stu: Bears are really nice. They helped keep up warm when we got up north.

Amanda: They probably saved his tail.

Suzy: Wow! Who knew? They look kinda mean in pictures.

Stu: You should never judge others by the way they look. Anyway, Amanda also got me a good doctor. And made the arrangements to get us back here. She only lives a few miles away.

Amanda: We stopped by on our way home because you had sent me the message saying you were worried.

This gator house call: | Animals, Weird pictures, Alligator

Stu: We didn’t want to worry anyone. I just didn’t like Vince telling me I’m old.

Stan: It sounds like you’re lucky Amanda was there to take care of you.

Stu: I definitely was. And that’s why I asked her to marry me.

The family looked at Amanda, and she nodded.

Amanda: I said yes! I think we’re going to be very happy together.

Stan: Congratulations! I’m very excited for you.

Adele: Stu can definitely use someone with a little common sense.

Stu growled at her.

Justine: Uncle Stu, you know she’s right. Now you won’t get lost anymore.

Stu: That is true. She can take care of all the travel arrangements.

Stan returned with some sparkling swamp water, and they all toasted the happy couple.

Road Trip! The Gators' Summer Vacation | Adventures in Cheeseland

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

17

Mark and Shane Go to Bear Camp – Part 3

Trump Team: Letting Hunters Kill Bear Cubs Is Top Priority

Where we are: Twin cubs Mark and Shane have been sent to Bear Camp by their exhausted mother. Shane is pretty shy but has been “adopted” by Broz, a seasoned camper. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

They have been at camp for two weeks. It’s time for Parents Day before they head home. Mark sees Mama and Papa Bear and runs over to them. He gives them a big hug.

Bear hugs Photograph by Ruth Jolly - Fine Art America

Mark: Hi Mama! Hi Papa! I missed you guys.

Mama Bear: Did you have a good time?

Mark: It was great! We swam and fished. And we learned how to use a raft. And we hiked and learned tracking tips. I had a amazing time! Wanna see the paw print I made you?

Mama Bear: In a minute, honey. Where’s Shane? I thought you two would be together.

Mark: No. They made us split up. Shane has a new friend; I’ve only see him at meals and campfires. I made a bunch of new friends too.

Adorable bears caught playing peekaboo, stealing kisses

Papa Bear: It sounds like you boys learned a lot.

Mark: We did Papa. And we’re gonna do a skit in the program after lunch.

Papa Bear: Is Shane in your skit?

Mark: No. He’s doing something else. It’s something top-secret.

Shane came running up.

Shane: Mama! Papa! I missed you so much. But I really like camp. I made a new friend. Wanna meet him?

Mama Bear: Of course, sweetie. Where is he?

Running bear cubs wallpaper - Animal wallpapers - #26121

Shane waved to Broz, who came running over.

Shane: Broz, this is my mom and dad. Mama, Papa, this is my friend Broz Bear.

Mama Bear: It’s very nice to meet you. I’m glad Shane made a friend here. We were a little concerned that he might not like camp.

Broz: He’s a great camper. And just wait until you see how talented he is. You’re really going to enjoy our part of the show.

Mama Bear: What are you going to do? Is it another skit?

Shane: It’s top secret, Mama. We’ve been practicing every night.

Mama Bear looked at Mark.

Mark: Don’t look at me. I have no idea what they’re doing. They wouldn’t tell anybody.

Brown Bear Standing Tall. | Brown bear, Bear, Kodiak bear

Counselor Dave banged a loud gong.

Counselor Dave: Welcome parents! We’re glad to see you all. It’s been an exciting two weeks, and the campers can’t wait to show you the entertainment they put together for you. First, let’s eat. Everybody head over to the Mess Hall.

Papa Bear: Thank goodness! I’m starving.

Mama Bear: What are we having?

Papa Bear: Smells like fish.

Mark: You’re right. And lots of berries. We picked them fresh this morning.

Shane: There’s some honey too.

Papa Bear: Yummy!

Do Bears Really Love Honey? | Mental Floss

The bears all settled in and were quickly fed. After everyone was finished eating, the campers left to get ready for the show.

Counselor Dave: Once again, welcome parents. The campers have a short presentation for you. After that, we will be giving out a couple of awards before you head for home. First up are the Bearly There Players performing their original skit titled, “Oh No! It’s a Bear!”

Two of the older campers pretended to be human parents on a picnic with their children. They made a great fuss of telling their children how dangerous bears are, and how they needed to beware of the bears while they were in the woods. The joke behind the skit was that they had set up their picnic in a bear’s home and terrified the poor bear when it woke up from a nap and found a group of humans in it’s front room

The audience roared with laughter at the little bears pretending to be humans and cheered the skit.

Funny bear cub sits on the ground in the forest. summer. finland. photo – Mammal Image on Unsplash

Counselor Dave: You guys did a great job! Very realistic portrayal of the humans. Normally, we would have two skits at the end of camp. But our other group wanted to do something a little different. So I present to you the Bongo Bears!

Shane, Broz and the rest of their group came on the stage carrying small drums. They sat on the ground and performed a short beat. They then broke into a fairly complicated cadence, picking up speed as they went along. Shane was totally absorbed. When they finished, he broke into a huge grin. The audience loved it.

Counselor Dave: Nice work, campers! I think we may make drumming a regular part of camp. Maybe we could even start a camp band.

Mama Bear: I’m really proud of you, Shane. You weren’t shy up there at all.

Shane: I owe it to Broz. He introduced me to the rest of the guys. He knows all the campers. Everyone was really nice.

Bear cubs pictured in Alaska playing in long grass before hugging | Daily Mail Online

Counselor Dave: We just wanted to hand out a couple of awards before we finish up. We want to recognize the bear who best exemplifies the spirit of Bear Camp. The camper who excels at teamwork and camaraderie. Then we want to recognize the bear who has made the most progress in developing their skills while they were here. I think everyone knows who the winners are.

Broz looked at Shane and started grinning.

Broz: It’s us, Dude!

Shane: Nah. I never win anything.

Counselor Dave: He’s right, Shane. Broz has been the heart of the camp this year. And you definitely are the most improved. You didn’t even want to come to lunch the first day. Remember?

Shane blushed under his fur.

Three adorable bear cubs give their mum a hug while feeding | The US Sun

Counselor Dave: We have little awards for you. But we also want you to take your drums. You can practice all year for when you come back.

Shane and Broz were thrilled.

Shane: Broz, we can get together and practice. It’ll be great!

Mark: I can learn too.

Broz: That’s an excellent idea!

Mama Bear groaned.

Sleepy bear | Taken at the San Antonio Zoo More details on m… | Flickr

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

12

Mark and Shane Go to Bear Camp – Part 2

How To Avoid Bears In Camp — ScouterLife

Where we are: Twin brothers Mark and Shane have been sent to bear camp for a couple of weeks by their exhausted mother. Shane, the more introverted brother, has discovered that he will not be sharing a cabin with his brother and their friend Danny. You can read Part 1 here.

Counselor Dave: OK, everybody. You have 15 minutes to get your stuff stowed, and then we gather in the Mess Hall. That’s where the food is, for all you first-timers.

Norway: Hikers asked to collect bear droppings - BBC News

Shane went into his cabin and found the bed with his name on it. It was a bunk bed, and he was on the bottom bunk. His bunk mate bounced around the cabin, getting settled in. He seemed to be friends with everyone. Shane curled up on his bed.  Then he felt a paw on this shoulder.

Voice: Little Dude, what’s wrong?

Shane: Leave me along. I don’t feel well.

Voice: C’mon Little Dude. It’s OK. Talk to me.

Shane turned around to see his bunk-mate. He was smiling at Shane; he looked nice.

Adorable Video Shows Bear Cubs Purring in Den, Snuggled next to Mom

Shane: I was supposed to be going to camp with my brother, but they’re making us stay in separate cabins. I don’t want to be here by myself:

Bear: You’re not by yourself. You’re with me.

Shane: Who are you?

Bear: My name is Broz. I came to camp last year. It’s pretty cool here.

Shane: I’m Shane. Nice to meet you.

Broz: Let’s get you unpacked. Don’t want to be late for lunch.

Broz helped Shane make his bunk and put away his clothes. They walked over to the Mess Hall together. They sat with Mark and Danny for lunch. It was delicious.

Mark: Hey, Shane! How’s it going?

Shane: Mark, this is Broz. He’s my bunk-mate.

18 Adorable Photos of Bears Being Basically Like Big Puppies — Best Life

Mark: Hey, Broz. You gonna take care of my brother? He doesn’t do well in strange situations. I thought we’d be together, but they won’t let me switch cabins.

Broz: Don’t worry about him. I’ll make sure nothing happens to him. Right, buddy?

Shane smiled at Broz. He’d never met such a nice bear.

Counselor Dave: OK, everybody. This afternoon, we’re going to go down to the lake and do a little fishing. Cabin A is with me, and Cabin B is with Counselor Ted. Yep, you heard me. Ted Bear. Good luck with your fishing. It’s your dinner.

Mark and Shane looked at each other. Too bad Jobear wasn’t there. He was the fisherman. They had never been near the water. Broz looked at their worried expressions and laughed.

Of Bears and Salmon, the Vital Connection

Broz: Don’t worry. They’re not going to let you starve. Besides, Shane, I know the best place to fish. Stick with me.

Shane grinned at his brother.

Shane: Wanna bet on who gets the most fish?

Mark: Not a chance. You’re cheating.

Broz: It’s not cheating. There aren’t any rules against bunk-mates fishing together.

Danny: Besides. I think they’re going to have one big kettle of fish. We’re all going to share.

Broz: That is true. C’mon Little Dude. Let’s get fishing.

The bears spent the afternoon at the lake fishing. Broz had been telling the truth; he was a good fisherman. He taught Shane how to flip the fish out of the water. By the end of the afternoon, they had a small pile. Counselor Dave came by and congratulated them.

SpiritHoods on Twitter: "High five if you snagged a Black Bear hood today! https://t.co/YbYdjF9J0c https://t.co/q9QzMbJCd4" / Twitter

Counselor Dave: Excellent teamwork, boys! You have the most fish. Go in the lake and clean up for dinner. I’ll get these back to camp.

Shane and Broz looked at each other and slapped paws. Shane couldn’t believe his luck.

Shane: You are pawsome, Broz! Thanks for teaching me.

Broz: No problem. My brothers taught me. I’m just passing it along.

At dinner, Counselor Dave told all the campers how many fish Broz and Shane had caught. He said it was a good example of what teamwork could do. As a reward, they could choose the evening’s snacks. Broz didn’t hesitate.

Broz: We want s’mores!

Shane: What’s a s’more?

Broz: Dude! You don’t know what a s’more is? Toasted marshmallows and chocolate between graham crackers. They’re the best!!

Shane: Yep! We want s’mores.

4 grizzly bear cubs Katmai National Park, Alaska.

Shane sat at the campfire with Mark and Danny. Broz was talking to some of the other bears. Finally, he sat next to Shane.

Broz: Okay, Little Dude. I’ve been talking to some of the other guys. They agreed to let you join our secret band.

Shane: Band of what?

Broz: That’s the secret.

Shane: Can I tell Mark and Danny?

Broz: Then it wouldn’t be a secret.

Next week: What’s the secret?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Wilford The Bear Makes A Bed And Takes A Nap In The Angeles National Forest - YouTube

24

Mark and Shane Go To Bear Camp

How to Keep Bears Away from Your Campsite | Pelican

Mama Bear was exhausted. She hadn’t realized how much more work it would be to have twins than the single cubs she’d had the previous two years. They were always getting into someone. Shane was pretty quiet, but Mark was a natural mischief maker. He was always talking his brother into something. When she saw the advertisement for summer Bear Camp, she thought it would be the perfect opportunity for a little peace and quiet.

Man in bear costume harasses mother bear, 2 cubs in Alaska

Mama: Boys, I have some exciting news!

They raced over and looked up expectantly.

Mark: What is it, Mama?

Mama: I signed you up for bear camp!

Shane: What’s bear camp?

Mama: You go out in the wood with a bunch of other little bears and do fun stuff.

Shane: What kind of fun stuff?

Bear cub looks on with its mother as sibling learns how to fish - and there's even a hug afterwards | Daily Mail Online

Mama: Look at this brochure. You can fish and hunt and pick berries.

Shane: We already do that stuff.

Mama: But you’ll get to meet all kinds of other little bears. You can make new friends.

Shane: I already have friends. I don’t need any more.

Mark (reading): It says we get to sit around a campfire and tell scary stories. And we can play on the beach.

Shane: I don’t like scary stories. I don’t think I want to go to bear camp.

Mama was disappointed. She was really looking forward to some time alone.

Three bear cubs spotted 'dancing' in fairytale moment captured in Finland | London Evening Standard | Evening Standard

Mama: Why don’t you think about it for a couple of days? Mark, what do you think?

Mark: I think it sounds great! It says there won’t be any parents, just counselors. We can probably do all kinds of cool stuff. I think we should go.

Shane: I don’t know. Let me think about it.

Mama: You won’t be alone. Your brother will be with you.

The boys went to bed. The next morning, Shane still wasn’t convinced it was a good idea. He decided to talk to his friends at school.

Yellowstone Rangers Launch Investigation Into Video of Woman Approaching Grizzly Bears

Shane: What do you guys think? Should I go to bear camp? It doesn’t really sound like a lot of fun. I’d rather stay home and hang out around the den.

Jobear: I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like much fun to me. But if Mark’s going, you probably want to go. You guys are twins after all. You’d really miss him.

Shane: That’s a good point.

Danny: Are you talking about Blue Bear Percussion Camp?

Shane: Yeah. I think that is the name.

Danny: Me and a couple of the other guys were looking at that. My brother went a couple of years ago. He had a great time.

Shane: Are you going this year?

Mothers Raise Cubs - North American Bear CenterNorth American Bear Center

Danny: Maybe. I could ask my mom.

Shane: That would be great! If you and Mark are there, I won’t be so lonely. What about you, Jobear?

Jobear: No, thanks. My dad promised he’d teach me how to fish like he does.

Danny talked to his parents, and they agreed to let him go to camp with Mark and Shane. The three cubs decided to do everything together.

Mama: I’m glad you decided to go, Shane. I think you’ll have a good time with all those other cubs.

Papa: And Mama and I will have a good time with the den to ourselves.

Last Frame: Dancing Bears - Outdoor Photographer

Shane: It won’t be so bad, knowing a couple of the other bears before I get there.

Mark: It’s going to be great! We can play all day, and talk all night. I can’t wait!

Shane: I’m going take a couple of books. I don’t want to listen to scary stories.

Mark: Don’t worry. I’ll be there to protect you.

Shane: Thanks, Mark. I’m glad you’re my brother.

A Man Found 3 Bear Cubs Climbing Into His Car in Tennessee

They took a bus to camp. It picked them up at their school.

Mama: Have a good time! We’ll see you in two weeks!

Papa: Write if you get work!

Danny: What does that mean?

Mark: Who knows? Dad’s kinda weird sometimes.

The boys were still waving when the bus took off.

Bear cubs look like they're shaking on a deal as they play in the water | Daily Mail Online

They arrived at the lake after a short trip. It was very pretty. The camp was a lot bigger than they expected. There were about 20 cubs total; a lot more than Shane was comfortable with. He stood very close to Mark, with Danny on his other side.

Counselor Dave: Welcome cubs! I see a couple of familiar faces and quite a few new ones. You’re going to have a great two weeks. First, let’s get you settled in your cabins, then we’ll get started on activities. Everyone in a line. Count off by twos.

Shane panicked. Mark and Danny were “2” and he was “1”. They were going to separate cabins! Mark saw his face.

Mark: Counselor Dave, I wanted to be in a cabin with my brother. We’re twins. And we do everything together.

Counselor Dave: That’s part of the fun here. You’re going to make new friends. You can see each other during the day.

Shane was trying not to cry.

Next week: Can Shane adapt and have fun?

Brown Bear Cub - Waiting For Mom. | Sad looking little guy w… | Flickr

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.