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Snoops here. Something nefarious is going on around here. And I mean to get to the bottom of it. Back in the good old days, Kommando and I got morning canned food and a never-ending supply of kibble. It was pretty pawsome. But some of you might remember that our new housemates took a fancy to our food and tried to eat it themselves. I’m talking about the humans, not the new cats.

So Mom tried to feed us early and take up our wet food when the small humans were around. It was pretty rough for awhile. If we didn’t eat our canned food when it was put down, it just disappeared. No more leaving a little for a mid-morning snack. And the never-ending kibble was only available at night. Not even close to being never-ending.

It was rough, but we adapted. We made Mom give us treats in the morning before she left for work. Fortunately, the small humans never got a taste of our treats, so those were pretty safe. And Kommando didn’t like to have the same treats every day, so we got a good variety. If she got bored, I’d get her treats after she walked away. It was actually a pretty sweet set-up.

Then, sadly, Kommando crossed the Rainbow Bridge to the Big Kibble Bowl. Mom and our human brother took the opportunity to re-assess the situation. Our human brother saw some kind of report or study or something that said how much kibble a cat should have by weight. Next thing we know, he’s saying that me and Sgt Stripes were getting too much kibble and he wanted to do something called “portion-control”.

We thought we were starving. And how dare he say that we were eating too much! Now I’m sharing my canned food with Gypsy every morning. But something weird is going on with the kibble. They keep one bag upstairs and one bag downstairs. Downstairs, I share with Angel. But I don’t think she really eats much. Upstairs, Sgt Stripes and Gypsy share a bowl, and our human sister has a community kibble bowl for Onyx and the other two cats up there.

But we’ve all been talking about it. The humans say they are filling the bowls daily. But the bowls are pretty much always empty. And we’re hungry.Our human brother insists that we are getting enough to eat. But if he’s feeding us enough, why are we always hungry?

You might remember that a couple of years ago, Kommando solved a mystery in The Big Catnap. You can read it here and here. So I tried to think like Kommando. But it made my brain hurt. She was a sweet kitty, but her logic eluded me sometimes.

I decided to talk it over with Sgt Stripes. The humans are convinced that he was Kommando’s nephew. (Kommando and his mom looked a lot alike. And they may have both been dropped off on our property at the same time.) He said that he wasn’t taking my kibble. He said everything seemed to be normal in the bowl in Mom’s room. He and Gypsy were sharing pretty nicely. But the community kibble bowl seemed to empty pretty quickly sometimes.

Hmm. So the two bowls that were out in the open were losing kibble. That means it wasn’t a cat doing it. Unless somehow Angel was getting out at night and raiding the other bowls. Probably not.  Even if she could get out of her room, the door to the upstairs is always shut. Except when that small human leaves it open. But Sgt Stripes and Gypsy try to come downstairs when that happens. And that usually alerts our human sister to go up and close it.

Think. Think. We’ve ruled out the cats and the adult humans. That only leaves the small humans. And they’re not eating our food anymore. But wait…

The smallest human is always looking for something to fill the containers he carries around. I mostly avoid him. He actually pets pretty well, but he is kinda loud and runs around a lot. But let me check it out.

I got near to him and he offered me the measuring cup he had. I sniffed. It was half full of kibble! I am reporting this to Mom immediately! Something must be done. We’re on starvation rations,, and he’s stealing them. She needs to fix this now!