Moths are More than Just Good Eating

Image result for group of animals

As you know, we at Cheeseland pride ourselves as being pan-species. We recently received an email questioning that inclusivity. It read as follows:

“We are tired of being the subject of cat jokes about how much fun we are to chase and how good we tastes. Moths have feelings too. We have never seen anything in this space about insects of any type, spiders, worms, or anything of that nature. We would like you to rectify that situation.”

The email caught us by surprise. He was right; we had never written about that type of thing. Being a mammalian type of place, Cheeseland had never considered our six-legged neighbors. So we decided to set up an interview.

Image result for moths

We ran into a problem right away. The author of the email lived across the country. Apparently moths (and most insects) are unable to get Skype or other video communication tools. Something about a ban against “bugs” that gets lost in translation. They’ve had trouble convincing the companies that they are actual bugs, not software glitches. The short lifespan has its issues as well.

It seemed silly to travel that far to interview one moth when there are lots of them here. One night, we sent a couple of staffers to the park to find a moth or two to speak with. Unfortunately we had not thought the issue through, and our subjects were eaten before we had the interview.

Image result for moths being eaten

The next night, we invited a couple of moths to our office and put them in a cage to keep them safe. Apparently moths have short attention spans. They kept heading for the lights in the midst of answering questions. It wasn’t much of an interview, but here’s what we got.

Cheeseland: So, tell us about yourselves.

Moth: (silence)

Cheeseland: Don’t be shy.

We look more closely. These moths don’t have mouths! How are we supposed to interview them?

Image result for silent

Cheeseland: Can you move a wing if the answer is ‘yes’?

Moth dips one wing.

Cheeseland: Do you only come out at night?

Moth dips his wing.

Image result for moth at night

Cheeseland: It says here that moths live about five weeks, is that true?

No answer.

Cheeseland: Don’t know what a week is?

Moth dips his wing.

Cheeseland: So you pretty much fly around all night and that’s your life?

Moth dips his wing.

Image result for group of moths

Cheeseland: Are there a lot of you?

Moth dips his wing.

Cheeseland: Do they all look like you?

No answer.

Cheeseland: So there are lots of different types of moths?

Moth dips his wing.

Cheeseland: Do you have a girlfriend?

Moth dips his wing.

Image result for moths

Cheeseland: Any children?

Moth dips his wing.

Cheeseland: Congratulations. That’s wonderful.

We look at each other, unable to think of any more questions that might be answered with yes or no.

Cheeseland: It has been very nice speaking, or whatever, with you moths. We wish you well.

Moth dips his wing. We let them out of the cage. Before they got more than a few feet, there was a “pounce” sound. Then crunching. It didn’t end well for our guests.

After the interview, we had a group video-conference and came to a decision. Cheeseland is not the place for insects. They are just too tasty.

Image result for cats eating

 

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

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15 thoughts on “Moths are More than Just Good Eating

  1. I have suffered through moth migrations in Idaho. Countless thousands exist and you cannot keep them out of your house no matter what you do. They circle your lamps at night and get into everything including dresser drawers. When i moved away I still found dead moths in everything when unpacking. Fortunately they did not eat clothes or I would have nothing left! Your moth didn’t have much to say about that!

    • Unfortunately, my moth didn’t have much to say about anything. That would have been good for the first one to mention in the email. I can’t imagine being around that many moths.

  2. MOL Well, we’re glad to hear there’ll be no more time devoted to insects. Wll, at least mommy is. They’re fur sure not her favorite thing. MOL As fur taste, we don’t care too much fur moths, they have dat outer powdery stuffs dat gets stuck to da roof of your mouth. MOL Big hugs

    Luv ya’

    Dezi and Raena

  3. Zoological zeal. I wonder what inspired your love for the creatures of this earth. A bucket list trip to Africa with the family is definitely something to consider. If you haven’t already that is. The majesty of the wild is unparalleled.

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