Tag Archives: therapy

19

Sgt Stripes, Therapist Extraordinaire

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Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes here. Today, I’m going to show you what one of my therapaw sessions looks like! 

Many of you know that I provide emotional support for Blondie (and the other humans in the house). But recently, I expanded my services to support outside animals as well. I’ve decided to show the transcript of one of my recent patients, Rebecca Rabbit. (She has signed a consent form.)

Sgt Stripes: Rebecca, welcome to my office! It is so nice to meet you. What can I help you with?

Rebecca: Hi, Dr. Stripes. I appreciate you seeing me. I feel depressed. And sort of like I’m being watched all the time. I hope you can help me. 

Sgt Stripes: I would love to help you! Why do you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: Well, I feel really tired. I have no energy, nor do I have a desire to do anything. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, that’s normal. I sleep for up to 16 hours a day! What else makes you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: I feel sad a lot. I can’t stop worrying about the potential carrot shortage that comes with the winter. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, I’d be upset too if I had to eat carrots and veggies. You should try vole. Or ice cream. They’re delicious! 

Rebecca: Uh… I don’t eat meat. Or dairy. I’m more of a vegan. 

Sgt Stripes: Okay, yeah, I’d be really depressed if I were a vegan. 

Rebecca: Um… okay, well, I also feel like I don’t accomplish enough. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. Just use your good looks and charm to get you through life. Now, I know you mentioned feelings of paranoia. Can you go deeper into that?

Rebecca: Yes. It’s the oddest thing. We just had a family of coyotes move in next to us, and I swear I overheard them discussing a recipe for rabbit pie. And I think the dad watches our every move. I always catch him staring at me and my family. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, can you blame them? You do look rather delicious. 

Rebecca: That’s not helping! 

Sgt Stripes: Sorry, sorry. Please continue. 

Rebecca: My mom tried to encourage me to be friends with the baby coyotes, but they keep talking about a chasing game. And I don’t like being chased. I’d rather go berry picking. 

Sgt Stripes: Ooh, we could play Pounce! I love Pounce!

Rebecca: NO! No, thank you. I’m not really sure if this is going to work out…

Sgt Stripes: Well, I think this is going well. Why would you say otherwise? 

Rebecca: I feel like you see me more as a potential toy, or even meal, than a client. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, it’s not my fault you appear to be a meal or a toy. I’m just giving you advice based on how you present. 

Rebecca: I think this session is over. I really need to look into the therapy offered by the deer.

Sgt Stripes: Fine. But come back next week! I’ll teach you how to play Pounce! 

Rebecca: No. Thank you. 

Sgt Stripes: Fine. Well, it was really nice meeting you, Rebecca. Good luck in life.

Rebecca: Thanks, Sarge. Same to you. 

Don’t I make a pawsome therapawist? Let me know if you, or someone you know, could benefit from my services! 

26

A Day in the Life of Sgt Stripes

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Hello! Sgt. Stripes here! I’ve been hard at work lately. My human sister, Blondie, has been working from home. And I’ve been getting to help her! Even better, I’ve also been able to attend therapy with her (she has anxiety and depression. She’d never make it as a cat). She made my formal title “Tummy Time Therapist with Office Management Requirements”. And it’s hard work! I’m going to share a typical day in the life in the workforce. 

6:30AM: 

This is when Blondie (and the mini humans) wake up. She gets them dressed and off to the day shelter, where they play and do art. Blondie calls it a daycare. But Snoops says it’s more like a shelter. I get to sleep through this, since I don’t do cars. Or mini humans. 

7:45AM: 

Blondie returns home. She gets our laptop out, and makes sure that it and our work cell are charged. She also gets her notepad ready. This is usually when I do my big kitty stretch and prepare myself for another strenuous day. 

8:00AM: 

Time to start work! We start by logging onto her email, her Teams (a Skype descendant), and her scheduling tool. I usually get to send a message to a few of her coworkers. Today alone, I said hello to the group chat (all 20 people!), the checkout person, and the echocardiogram coordinator, along with one of the medical assistants. Everyone loves my welcome messages! 

8:10AM:

Once we say good morning to our team, we review our email. Blondie makes a lot of phone calls, but won’t start until 9. So I get to help send out letters to patients who didn’t show up for their appointments, schedule urgent add on surgeries, and review our load for the day. I’ve discovered this is best done by sitting on the keyboard of the laptop. That way I’m warm, and am close enough to the screen to see. 

9:00AM: 

Now I get to start helping with phone calls! Usually the morning calls go to patients who need a presurgical workup. I don’t actually talk to these people (it sounds pretty depressing, honestly). But I definitely do my part. I sit with one paw on Blondie while she types, and I make sure to sit on the phone cord. You know, in case the phone tries to escape or something. These calls usually take most of the morning. 

12:00PM: 

Lunch break! Usually Blondie goes downstairs and gets tea and a sandwich, but I get to chow down on kibble (or cereal. She eats cereal and we share sometimes). I’m hoping my employee of the year luncheon features vole. I really like vole, But after I eat, I usually use the facilities, stop by the scratching post, and get a nap in. 

1:00PM: 

Back to work! The afternoon is usually a little more interesting. We usually start by calling patients that need pacemakers or ablations. I really, really like this part. We have to email them a surgical packet, and I’m really good at adding attachments or screenshots. I discovered if you push a bunch of random keys all at once, the computer will do fun things! Blondie gets a little weird about this, though. I start on the computer, but usually end up on her chest. At least I still get to supervise. 

3:00PM: 

If Blondie has therapy, this is usually when it happens. I like to sit up by her head and meow at her therapist. He needs to know who the really important one is. Although they just talk a lot, which is boring. So I usually use this time to get some tummy rubs. Or jaw rubs. Or both. I just really love rubs. 

4:00PM: 

Therapy is over (finally). Unfortunately, that means my tummy and jaw rub session slows down, as well. But we get to start scheduling my favorite things: MRIs! These are really fun, because I can make the appointment move by laying on her mousepad. I also really like to interact with these patients. I’ll headbonk the phone, purr into the speaker, and rub the phone so Blondie drops it. These patients are usually more fun than our surgical ones. One time, I scheduled the MRI in the totally wrong year. But I don’t feel bad. It’s a complex system, and I’m still learning it. 

5:00PM: 

The day is over! Man, these days are exhausting. I usually try to persuade Blondie to stay and nap. She never does though. She has to go get the mini humans from the day shelter. So I help her put her items up (I love batting at the phone cord!) and then I usually protect her work case. It’s a really comfy spot to nap. 

After work is over, I only have 15 hours to eat, bathe, play, groom, and relax. It’s quite stressful somedays! But I know my hard work is paying off! Although I think I’m going to request a pay raise and a really nice bonus this Christmas. Maybe some vole ice cream, and silvervine cereal. Hopefully your work days are just as productive! 

8

How Does That Make You Feel?

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I’ve been hearing an ad on the radio about therapy for cats who don’t get along. They don’t go into a lot of detail, so I’m not really sure what it’s all about. I’ve never been through any type of couple’s counseling, but I have quite a bit of experience with the individual type.

Maybe cat therapy would sound a little like this:

Therapist: So ladies, why don’t you tell me a little about yourselves?

Princess: Well, I was living happily with my humans until one day that (points at Cleo) shows up at the doorstep. She’s all mangy and smelly. She starts crying pathetically. So do the humans close the door to keep out the smell? No. They start feeding her! Next thing I know, she’s got a bed next to mine and I’m supposed to share my toys with her.

Cleo: I lived in a house with a lot of other cats. One day someone came with cages for all of us. I ran away. But it’s really hard living on the street. I kept trying to find a new human. Finally I met my new family. They’re wonderful! They fed me, they took me to the doctor and the groomer, and they let me stay in their house. It would be perfect if it weren’t for Her Highness over there.

(They look at each other and growl.)

Therapist: So what I’m hearing, Princess, is that you were an only cat and now you have a housemate. How does that make you feel?

Princess: What do you think? (Aside to Cleo – How much did Mom pay for this guy?)

Therapist: You don’t sound happy.

Cleo: That’s just how she talks. She always sounds kind of grouchy.

Therapist: What about you, Cleo? Are you afraid of Princess?

Cleo: I’m the one from the streets, remember? Why would I be afraid of her? (To Princess – He really doesn’t know much about cats, does he?)

Therapist: I’m sensing a little hostility from both of you.

Princess: We’re cats. We’re in a strange place. And you smell weird.

Cleo: And you talk weird.

Therapist: We’re here to talk about you, not me. Let’s focus.

Princess: OK, I don’t like having another cat around the house. It’s hard sharing the humans.

Cleo: It’s hard being in a new house.

Therapist: Good! We’re making progress!

(Both cats look at him and hiss.)

Princess (in cat): Why do humans always think they are the center of everything?

Cleo (in cat): I know. Even Mom and Dad do that sometimes.

Therapist: Now ladies, you were just started to explore your relationship and now you’re hissing and crying at each other.

(The cats look at each other helplessly.)

Princess: You don’t smell as weird as you used to. Maybe if I helped you groom, you’d be OK.

Cleo: I’d like that a lot. Sometimes I miss the other cats.

Princess: That way we could sleep together if it gets cold.

(Cleo starts to purr.)

Therapist: You’re making a lot of progress. I think we need to run through some practice scenarios. (Looks down) Oops, guess that will have to wait for the next session. Time’s up.

(Opens the door.)

Therapist: They did very well for a first session. I think in a few months they could be best friends.

(The cats look at each other. They start coughing. After a minute, each hacks a hairball onto the shoe closest to her.)

Therapist: Or maybe we’re done here.