inspections | Adventures in Cheeseland

Stan, Adele, and the Girls were visiting Uncle Stu and Amanda. They were sitting on the back deck overlooking the basking pool.

Adele: This really is a beautiful place. I love the landscaping.

Stu: Thank you. Amanda is very talented.

Amanda: We did it together. We’re really lucky to live here. The Homeowner’s Association (HOA) here is very relaxed about what we can put in. The last place I lived, they were very strict with the rules.

Stu: That reminds me. You should see what the beavers a couple of streets over did. They put in some dams and waterfalls. It’s very relaxing.

Suddenly, there was a voice from the front.

Voice: Hello? Hello? Is anyone home?

Amanda: Maxine, we’re around back.

A cow and a goat came around the house. The cow spoke.

Maxine: Good afternoon, gators. I hope all is well. Effie and I are here to do our inspection for the HOA.

Amanda: What kind of inspection?

Effie: We’re just doing a tour of the neighborhood to make sure everything’s in compliance with our rules.

Amanda: We’ve been here over a year. Why are you doing it now?

Effie: The Board realized that we’ve been a little lax in enforcing our rules. Some of the residents are taking advantage, and we need to get things under control.

Maxine: You should have been expecting us. We sent out letters and emails.

Amanda: We haven’t gotten any messages.

Effie: Let’s see. They were sent to gatorguystu@animail.com.

Stu: That’s me.

Amanda: Let me see your phone, Stu.

She scrolled through his mail. She found a folder labeled “House”.

Amanda: Why are the messages in the House folder?

Stu: I put anything I get about the house in there, in case I need it later. I must have forgotten to read them before I filed them.

Effie: This won’t take long. We just need to look around outside and make notes about anything that doesn’t meet the rules.

Stan: What happens if something doesn’t meet the rules?

Maxine: It will need to be removed or replaced.

Stan: Even if no one has a problem with it?

Effie: Those are the rules. They signed the agreement.

Stu: Can you ignore what’s here now and we can follow the rules going forward?

Effie: Unfortunately not. There is entirely too much diversity in the yards here in Orchard Bluff. We want to present a coherent picture of who we are.

Stu: But this yard is who we are.

Maxine: But that’s not necessarily what Orchard Bluff is.

Maxine & Effie walked around the property taking notes. When they finished, Maxine gave Stu a list of things that needed to be changed. He was in shock.

Amanda: How long do we have to make these changes?

Effie: The entire neighborhood needs to be up to standard in 90 days.

Stu: Who do we talk to if we don’t agree with the changes.

Maxine: There’s a board meeting in two weeks if you want to appeal the changes. But the board has decided that we need to standardize the appearance of the subdivision.