Tag Archives: Google

17

Cats Christmas Shopping

|

Snoops: Hey guys. It’s time to get our presents for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: Why are we getting them presents?

Snoops: It’s almost Christmas. I thought maybe this year we should all get together and get one gift for each human.

Onyx: I think the gift of me should be sufficient.

Gypsy: What’s that supposed to mean?

Angel: You know she’s always on a princess vibe. She probably thinks her mere presence is a gift.

Onyx: Well, I am an emotional support cat. Besides, for the first couple of years I pretty much stayed up in Blondie’s room. Now I’ve joined everyone else downstairs. So the humans can all enjoy the house panther.

Gypsy: You mean chasing the house panther. You’re so clueless you went out on the inside porch and almost got frozen.

Onyx: That little blonde kid let me in.

Snoops: Ladies, let’s focus. I was thinking more of buying something for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: I know how to use Mr Google. I bet he can help us find stuff.

Gypsy: What are we using for money?

Sgt Stripes: I’ve been watching when Mom buys stuff. All she has to do is press a button and stuff comes to the house.

Snoops: Hmm. He’s right. I’ve seen her do it too.

Sgt Stripes: I think Snoops is right. We should get the humans gifts. I was listening to the humans talk. I’m pretty sure they’re getting us something good. Mom said something about extra money and new cat tree.

Angel: Really? That would be great. I could get away from Sgt Stripes when he wants to play pounce.

Snoops: Excellent point. If we’re sitting in a tree, we could swat at him.

Sgt Stripes: Seriously? Why can’t you guys try playing with me? It would be fun. Ask Gypsy. She’s a lot of fun for a girl cat.

Gypsy: Thank you, Sarge. What kind of gifts are you thinking about, Snoops?

Snoops: I have two favorite spots: Chewy and PetSmart. They’re not really pets, so I think we should look at Chewy.

Sgt Stripes: Excellent idea! That’s one of the places that fill in the payment. Let’s ask Mr. Google to take us there.

Angel: They have a lot of choices. How do we know where to start?

Onyx: I know! One of the small humans likes to curl up in that big cat bed upstairs. We can get one for each of them.

Snoops: That sounds like a good idea. What else do they have?

Sgt Stripes: It’s sorted by type of animal. Nothing says humans.

Gypsy: I saw them use kitty litter to get the car unstuck in the snow. Let’s get them some of that.

Snoops: How about a litter mat? Maybe they’ll stop tracking snow inside. I hate stepping on it with bare paws.

Onyx: And maybe some treats. i wonder if they come in lentil. That seems to be a favorite.

Snoops:You’re going to have to look in the dog section. No self-respecting cat would eat those.

Sgt Stripes: I see sweet potato, carrots, and kale.

Angel: That sounds terrible.

Sgt Stripes: There’s one that has super foods in it.

Angel: What’s a super food?

Sgt Stripes: I have no idea. But I think we should get them. Nothing’s too good for our humans.

Snoops: That sounds like a good selection. Let’s do it.

Onyx: I agree.

The other cats nodded.

Gypsy: Now we have to figure out how to get it in the house and hide it until Christmas.

25

Google: A Cat’s Perspective

|

Snoops: Hey Sarge! I have a bone to pick with your buddy, Mr. Google.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know if he eats bones.

Snoops: It’s just an expression. I mean that he’s messing something up really badly.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google? I don’t think so. He knows everything.

Snoops: Well, he doesn’t know cats.

Sgt Stripes: He most certainly does. If you ask him to show you stuff about cats, he comes back with lots of articles. I bet it’s millions of them.

Snoops: All I know is that when Mom gets a “Spotlight on Snoops” in her pictures, there’s always at least one picture of another cat.

Sgt Stripes: Ooh that is weird. Someone else must take pictures of a different cat named Snoops.

Snoops: Are you being intentionally annoying? It’s not another cat named Snoops. It’s the other calico that Mom takes pictures of.

Sgt Stripes: You think Mr. Google can’t tell the difference between you and Gypsy? That’s ridiculous. He’s smarter than that.

Snoops: You’re right. I don’t understand it either. We don’t look anything alike.

Sgt Stripes: Well, you are both girl cats. And you both have three colors.

Snoops: We do not look alike. I’m a beautiful traditional calico with black, white and orange. She’s dilute – I’m pretty sure she’s grey, beige, and white. And her face is mainly one color all the way across. My face is split between all three colors.

Sgt Stripes: That doesn’t prove that Mr Google doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You guys must just look the most alike of all the cats Mom has pictures of.

Snoops: It’s embarrassing. I do not look like her.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s see what Mr Google has to say about calico cats. The first article says, “The calico cat is most commonly thought of as being 25% to 75% white with large orange and black patches; however, they may have other colors in their patterns.”

Snoops: So Mr Google says that I’m a true calico. It doesn’t say anything about cats with beige faces.

Sgt Stripes: Let me keep looking. It also says, “Dilute calicos have the same tri-colored coat that calicos have, but the dilute gene causes the colors to be muted and appear faded.”

Gypsy: Did I hear someone mention dilute calico? Here I am.

Sgt Stripes: Snoops was saying that Mr Google doesn’t know anything about cats because he mixed one of your pictures in with Snoops.

Snoops: Obviously we look totally different.

Gypsy: I agree. But I think he’s biased against dilute calico cats. I’ve been here for months and there’s never a “Spotlight on Gypsy.”

Sgt Stripes: That is a little bizarre. He loves me. I’m the chosen cat a lot.

Snoops: That explains why you like Mr Google so much.

Sgt Stripes: I guess that might be part of it. But I can find all kinds of great stuff with Mr Google. Like I found all kinds of cat videos. I like the rabbits and the string, but I could watch the birds all day.

Snoops: The rest of us don’t watch cat videos.

Gypsy: Actually I’ve never seen one. I might like it.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find toys and cat trees and all kinds of food.

Snoops: I think Mom might use Mr Google to help her with directions sometimes too.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find pictures of almost anything.

Snoops: Okay. Mr. Google might have some good qualities. But he really needs to learn how to identify cats. We are each unique beautiful creatures.

10

The Year of the Sloth

|

You can thank Barbara over at Silver in the Barn, a wonderful blog about her insights into life (and photography) for the title. She had a post around the beginning of the year about how certain items seemed to be more prevalent some years than others (https://silverinthebarn.wordpress.com/2014/12/29/minotaur-ukulele/). She also asked what we thought our year might be titled. I had been thinking about writing a sloth post, and it seemed like the perfect title.

Wandering around the blogosphere, I was reminded of the interview Kristen Bell did on The Ellen Show about three years ago showing how much she likes sloths (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5jw3T3Jy70).

That may have been the starting point for the love affair some people have developed with sloths. My daughter has certainly joined the fan club. I was amazed that I was able to find a sloth calendar at a major brick-and-mortar bookstore. There it was amongst the overwhelming number of dogs, cats, cars, sports, and spiritual calendars. (Horatio reminds me that there was also one with pictures of hedgehogs.)

If you type in “sloth” on YouTube, you will get a long list of videos about the little guys (average height 23 in/58 cm; weight 8.75 lbs/4 kg). Google says it has over 22 million results for “sloth”. Of course, we all know that Google lies. Those results include doubles, triples, etc. of the same item and any 600-page essay that includes the word. Nevertheless, this may be the year.

So why did we fall in love with an animal named after one of the Seven Deadly Sins? It moves so little and slowly that algae grows in its fur, so it looks like it has been to the salon for a green tint. Any animal that moves that little has a certain appeal to those of us always yearning for a nap. They sleep 15–20 hours/day (which sounds just fine to the cat sleeping next to me). Even awake, they are often motionless. Kind of like football fans in the fall.

Sloths are versatile as well. They come in the two-toed and three-toed variety, but have basically the same traits. They live almost their entire lives in treetops. Those long arms allow quite a bit of freedom in the trees. They have a powerful grip which may not even release in death. Sounds a bit like some people and their money.

Sloths mate and give birth while hanging in trees. I can’t imagine how birthing would work.Who would catch the baby?  Maybe they come out clinging to the mother. That’s how they spend the first nine months of their lives. (How do they know when nine months is up?)

However, I think people are attracted to them because they are almost excessively cute. How can you resist an animal that looks like it’s smiling all the time and gives great hugs? (http://www.slothsanctuary.com/meet-the-sloths/)

Plan ahead. International Sloth Day is October 20. If you want a real sloth at the party, he/she will need to start moving now. It’s a long way from Central America.

Facts courtesy of National Geographic (http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/three-toed-sloth/)

Pictures courtesy of The Sloth Sanctuary of Costa Rica (http://www.slothsanctuary.com/)