Nana Cali has been hosting a family Christmas dinner as long as anyone could remember. She had been doing all the work herself. She always made her family-famous fish stew. There were various kinds of kibble and a creamy eggnog or catnip punch to drink. She welcomed contributions but rarely got them.
It was usually a great time for all involved. But this year things didn’t seem to run as smoothly. It began with the invitations:
Cousin Sally: Nana, you know that I’ve been seeing Richard for months. Why wasn’t he on the chat?
Cousin Ruth: Probably because when he came to the picnic, he spent all of his time complaining about the location and the food.
Cousin Jenny: And he snarfed down enough for a Maine Coon.
(The younger family members had convinced Nana to use a group chat rather than just spreading the word. She was already regretting it.)
Cousin Sally: Well, I’m not coming if he can’t come.
Nana: Sweetie, you’re overreacting. I only sent it to family. There will be plenty of food.
Aunt Gertrude: That reminds me. Can we get something other than fish this year? My Calista really doesn’t like fish.
Uncle Dill: You’re welcome to bring whatever you want for her. Mom makes the stew, but she doesn’t mind if others bring additional food.
Aunt Gertrude: Then it’s really not hosting, is it?
Aunt Jess: Do you always have to be so dramatic, Gert? Of course, she’s hosting. It’s at her house. There’s plenty of food and drink. And you’re welcome to bring something more if you want.
Cousin Bruno: Do you know what would be really epic? Let’s get a roast pig!
Cousin Drago: Yeah! That would be the best thing ever!
Nana was very upset. She thought that she had been doing a nice thing, and now it looked like no one was going to be happy. She talked it over with Gramps.
Nana: I think maybe I shouldn’t have the dinner this year.
Gramps: Why not? It’s one of the few times we get to see all of our kids and grandkids.
Nana: They talked me into creating what they call a group chat. No body actually talks to anybody. It seems like they just type whatever they want to in it. I don’t want to make a roast pig.
Gramps: A roast pig? Why would you make that? It would be three times as big as you are.
Nana: And they don’t want the fish stew. They want me to make all kinds of other food. I don’t think I want to do it anymore. I think I’m just getting too old.
Gramps read the chat. He was furious. He called their and told them to come over for a family meeting. Soon Gertrude, Dill, Jess, and Moonlight were there. Moonlight didn’t follow the chat and was very confused to see her parents so upset.
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Gramps: Okay, listen up. Which one of you decided that it would be a good idea to let the entire family weigh in on how Nana does her dinner?
Gertrude: I guess it was me. It’s how the kids make plans, so I thought it would be good for us. It lets everyone contribute to what’s going on.
Gramps: Thanks to your brilliant idea, Nana doesn’t want to do Christmas dinner anymore.
Moonlight: Wait a minute. What? Why?
Nana: Because apparently people are tired of my fish stew. They want more variety. And a roast pig.
Moonlight: That’s ridiculous. I hate social media. Everyone thinks they can say whatever garbage pops into their heads. What idiot suggested a roast pig for a cat family dinner?
Dill: I think it was my sons. Sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize you’d take them seriously.
Nana: Well, I might not have if Gertrude hadn’t said that I should make something different for Calista. I thought everyone liked my fish stew. I said you were welcome to bring your own dishes if you wanted to.
Jess and Dill glared at Gertrude.
Jess: Tell Dad what you said to that suggestion.
Gertrude looked embarrassed.
Gertrude: I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.
Gramps: What did you say?
Gertrude: I said it didn’t really sound like hosting if we had to bring our own food.
Gramps: Why would you say that?
Gertrude: I don’t know. It was probably the two niptinis I had. It was a bad day.
Dill: If you’ve messed up our Christmas dinner, Gertrude, you better run because I’m coming after you.
Jess: Yep. It’s the highlight of the holiday season.
Moonlight: You’re not really going to cancel the dinner, are you, Mom?
Nana: I don’t know. It really hurt to hear that you aren’t happy with it.
Jess: We didn’t say we wanted to change anything. It was just the princess over there.
Gertrude: I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how it sounded. I can make some turkey if you’ll keep the rest of it.
The cats looked at Nana and waited.
Nana: Okay. I guess it’s back on.
Gramps: And the group chat is off.
Pictures courtesy of Google Images.
Adventures in Cheeseland 
Social media and group chats are not all they are cracked up to be. It would be nice to get an invitation in the mail.