Greetings. Snoops here. Apparently humans do something called Making New Year’s Resolutions this time of year. I don’t really understand why Wednesday is going to be a different year from Tuesday. I think it has something to do with using up all the pages on the calendar.

Of course, cats are perfect so we don’t need to make promises about exercising every day or drinking less coffee. And some cats are less perfect than others; they just can’t see where they need to improve. So we decided to help each other identify slight flaws that could be worked on. Each cat came up with one suggestion for every other cat.

Angel

Gypsy: You still need to apologize for all the food you stole from me when we were together in the sunroom. You could offer to share your food with me.

Onyx: You seem to be spending a lot of time on my human’s lap. I think you should resolve to spend more time finding somewhere else to lounge.

Sgt Stripes: You were really nice to me. We even hunted together. I think you should try harder to play with me. I think we could be buddies.

Snoops: I like you best of all the invader cats. But I don’t like to eat all of my food at the same time the way you guys too. You could try not to eat my scraps until you find out if they really are scraps.

Gypsy

Onyx: You should stop sleeping in the plants. You smell like dirt.

Sgt Stripes: You’re my favorite of the invader cats. You should spend more time with the rest of us. We could be best friends and spend lots of time playing.

Snoops: You seem really nervous a lot of the time. You should find something that will help you relax. Maybe some catnip tea.

Angel: You need to get over what happened in the sunroom. And stop trying to steal my breakfast.

Onyx

Sgt Stripes: You kinda seem to have a bad attitude. Like you think you’re better than the rest of us. Maybe you should try meditation or something.

Snoops: You kinda mess up the rhythm of treat time. Maybe you should try flavors other than dairy. Mom always has to get out a separate bag for you.

Angel: You think you’re better than we are because your human came with us. You could willingly share her once in a while.

Gypsy: You seem a little arrogant. You should try hanging out with the cats sometime, not just with your human.

Sgt Stripes

Snoops: I am the empress kitty here. Quit pouncing on me.

Angel: You’re a really nice kitty. I like it when you just hang out with us. You should try to get your exercise somewhere else.

Gypsy: We were buddies when we were both upstairs. You should try to do more shared naptimes. It’s cold now. Work on getting a cuddle buddy.

Onyx: I don’t really know you. Maybe you could stop eating all those revolting flavors of treats so they only buy the good ones.

Snoops

Angel: I think you should resolve to find a new napping buddy now that Kommando is gone. I volunteer to be your new partner.

Gypsy: You seem to be really tense sometimes, just like me. I think you need to find a new napping spot. And maybe take some vitamins.

Onyx: I don’t think you understand my esteemed position in my previous household. I think I am due more respect here.

Sgt Stripes: You need to chill out and relax. Sometimes you look and sound really mean.