Where we are: Charlemagne (Charlie) received a grill for Father’s Day and loves using it. He’s impressed family and friends with his skill on fish and burgers. Now he’s looking for a new challenge. He has invited several people over for a new experience: grilled turkey. His wife Maggie isn’t sure it’s a good idea. You can read Part 1 here. 

Tommy: Dad! Can I help you with the turkey?

Charlie: Sure! First thing, I need to figure out how to get it on the grill. I had no idea they got so big.

Tommy: That thing is huge! It’s almost as big as you are.

Charlie: I know. They looked a lot smaller in the pictures.

Tommy: I thought up a slogan for you: “The thrill is in the grill.”

Charlie: I like it! Maybe I’ll get that on an apron.

Celeste: Daddy, are you making a butterfly turkey or a regular turkey?

Tommy: Why would he make a turkey out of butterflies? That sounds disgusting!

Celeste: You don’t make it out of butterflies. That’s just what you call it when you cut it up before you put it on the grill.

Charlie: Where did you hear about that?

Celeste: Angelina at school. Her brother is a gourmet chef, so she thinks she knows everything. She says it’s the only way to cook a turkey on a grill.

Charlie: Hmm. Never heard of it.

Maggie: I’m not sure I trust you with a large knife.

Charlie: Please. I’m a pure-bred cat. I can handle a knife. Celeste, find me the instructions for a butterfly turkey.

Celeste (looking on her phone): It says it’s called spatchcocking. It looks kind of complicated.

Tommy: Maybe we should just drag the whole thing over and dump it on the grill.

Charlie: Why should we do this spatching thing?

Celeste: The video says it takes less time to cook and it cooks more evenly.

Maggie: Less time on the grill is appealing. Didn’t you say it was going to take hours? You’ll never get the smell out of your fur.

Tommy: Smelling like a smoked turkey would be amazing!

Celeste: Eww!

They all watched the video with Celeste.

Maggie: I don’t think this is a good idea. Look at all that cutting.

Charlie was enthralled.

Charlie: I’m doing it. That looks amazing. I can be a gourmet grill-cat.

Maggie: You’re an executive at a software company. Kitties love your chase games. You don’t need to be a grill-cat.

Charlie: This is going to be amazing. Tommy, let’s get the bird. I have to get started.

Maggie and Celeste decided it would be a good time to sun-bathe. They heard the sound of the turkey being dragged across the kitchen followed by a large “plop!” as they headed outside.

Charlie: You’re in charge of the social media, Tommy. I want all of this recorded. It’s gonna be impressive.

Tommy: You got it, Dad. We can edit it later.

Splitting the turkey was a lot more work than Charlie anticipated. Because he had to hold the knife between his paws, it was a long series of stabs. Finally he thought it was ready.

Charlie: Okay, Tommy. I’m going to grab one side and you grab the other. On the count of three, pull hard.

They put their paws into the cuts and pulled back. Nothing happened.

Charlie: Guess I need a few more cuts.

He stabbed the turkey a few more times before they tried pulling again. Still nothing. Charlie was getting annoyed. He started stabbing harder.

Charlie: Let’s try again.

They braced themselves and pulled as hard as they could. Finally they heard a cracking. Before they realized what was happening, they were both on the floor with the turkey in pieces.

Tommy: I think we pulled too hard.

Charlie: They didn’t mention that happening in the video.

Tommy: What should we do?

Charlie: I guess we can just grill the pieces. It should take even less time this way.

Tommy: Excellent!

They cleaned up the mess and were getting ready to take the turkey out to the grill when Maggie and Celeste walked in.

Maggie: My cats! What happened to you two? You look like you’ve been in a cat fight!

Tommy: The turkey was pretty feisty, but we managed it.

Maggie: You need to get cleaned up before the guests get here. I don’t want to be embarrassed by everyone thinking you were beat up by a turkey.

They put the turkey on the grill and then bathed. By the time the guests arrived, the turkey was beginning to smell delicious. Finally, it was time to eat.

Nana Cat: That smells delicious, Charlemagne.

Benji: Have to admit, brother. I didn’t think you’d pull it off.

Charlie: Everyone, have a seat and I’ll serve the turkey.

He slid the turkey onto a platter and brought it to the table.

Monica: That’s the strangest looking turkey I’ve ever seen. How did you prepare it?

Benji: That’s because you get yours in a can.

Tommy: It’s called spatchcocking.

Celeste: He butterflied it.

Benji: It looks more like he stepped on it.

Charlie: Just a slight issue with the knife. It’s ultra-butterflied.

Tommy: We’re going to call it Turkey Charlemagne.

It was delicious. But the video got lost somewhere along the line. Charlemagne is trying to talk Maggie into letting him buy another turkey.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images