14

Gator on the Loose

🔥 A baby Alligator relaxing on a pond bank on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

We’re visiting the Gator family following the holidays.

Stan picked up his phone and saw that Granny Gator was calling.

Stan: Hi Mom. How are you?

Granny: I’m fine, honey. Is everything settled down from Christmas?

Stan: Yep. The girls are back in school. Adele and I are back at work. Settled back into our regular stuff. How about you?

Granny: Well, I’m a little worried about your Uncle Stu.

Stan: What happened to Stu?

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At the mention of Stu’s name, the rest of the family perked up. If it was about Stu, it would be interesting. Stan listened, said “yeah” a couple of times and finally ended the call.

Adele: How’s Granny?

Stan: She’s fine.

Suzy: How’s Uncle Stu?

Stan: We’re not sure.

Adele: What do you mean?

Louisiana Alligator Advisory Council (@LouisianaGators) / X

Stan: Well, he went to a New Year’s Eve party with some old friends. He called Granny to wish her a happy new year, but she hasn’t heard from him since.

Adele: What did Vince say? Has he seen his father?

Stan: Apparently, they had some kind of fight on Christmas. They aren’t speaking. Vince says that Stu will show up when he’s ready.

Justine: Rats! I knew we should have gone to Florida for Christmas. We always miss the good stuff.

Adele: So what is she going to do?

Stan: She sent my brothers John and Dave over to Stu’s apartment. He’s not there, but he’s such a slob that they couldn’t tell how long he’s been gone.

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Adele: He always did have an issue with being a bit of a hoarder.

Suzy (giggling): Remember when he decided to collect shells?

Justine: Yeah. Except he didn’t realize that things live in the shells. The aquarium really liked the donation.

Suzy: Does Granny want you to help find Uncle Stu, Dad?

Stan: Yes. She has an idea where he might be.

Justine: Up here in South Carolina?

Stan: Do you remember last year when he was up here and got lost?

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Justine: He gets lost every time he comes up here.

Stan: Last year, a nice lady gator helped him find us.

Adele: That’s right!

Stan: It seems they became friends on GatorGram and have been keeping in touch. Granny thinks that when Stu and Vince had their fight, he came up to see her.

Adele: Do you know who she is?

Stan: That’s the problem. I don’t think he ever told us her name. And Granny doesn’t know.

Suzy: We can probably help. We’re friends with Uncle Stu on GatorGram.

Adele: You are? Why?

Hungry, hungry… alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers – New York Daily News

Justine: He’s really funny. And he posts great pictures of food.

Suzy: He eats at amazing places. And has a lot of friends.

Stan: Hmm. I had no idea. You think you might be able to tell who this lady is?

Justine: Give us a few minutes.

The girls got busy on their phones. Soon Justine looked up triumphantly.

Justine: Think I found her! Look!

Suzy: You might be right. It says she’s only a couple of towns over. And she likes everything he posts.

Adele: What do we do now?

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Justine: Let me message her and see if she responds. If I tell her we’re looking for Uncle Stu, maybe she won’t think I’m too weird.

Stan: If she’s as nice as Stu said she was, she’ll probably help us.

Justine typed quickly and sent her message. She waited a few minutes with no response.

Justine: I guess we just wait now.

She didn’t get a response that night. The following night at dinner, they discussed what might be a next step.

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Adele: Girls, I have a question. If you’re friends with Uncle Stu, why didn’t you just message him?

Justine: He doesn’t believe in chatting with family on social media. He says we should talk in person. He lets us follow him, but blocked communication.

Stan: That sounds like Stu. He has rules for everything. And they all make sense to him.

Adele: And him alone.

Justine: He hasn’t posted anything since New Year’s. I hope he’s okay.

Stan: I think we’re just going to have to wait. He’s not answering his phone. And his lady friend seems to be busy. Vince is right. He can take care of himself.

Next week: Where is Uncle Stu?

Another alligator attack: Elderly man loses his leg at RV resort in Titusville, Fla. - silive.com