27

The Summer Was a Zoo

How to Train a Siamese Cat (4 Easy Steps) | Hepper Pet Resources

Ms Cavendish, an elegant Siamese, was the new primary-level teacher at the Cheeseland Academy of Inter-Species Learning. It’s the first day back after summer break.

Ms Cavendish: Welcome everyone to our first day of school. My name is Ms. Cavendish, and I’ll be your teacher this year. I thought that a good way to introduce ourselves would be to go around the room and tell everyone one thing that you did this summer. Would anyone like to start?

Video: Who Wins This Battle Of Cat Vs. Squirrel? | PawTracks

Sally Squirrel: Ooh, me! My brother Hal got into a fight with the cat next door. There was so much hissing and chittering that my mom had to throw water on them to break it up.

Ms Cavendish: Oh my! Is everyone okay?

Sally: Yes. But my mom said that they aren’t allowed to play in the bird bath anymore.

Running the Raccoons at Critter Care Wildlife Society - YouTube

Ralph Raccoon: We went on a trip to the mountains to visit some relatives this summer.

Ms. Cavendish: Oh, that sounds lovely.

Ralph: We had a great time. And I learned something new.

Ms Cavendish: What did you learn?

Ralph: That humans are really weird. Some of them think that we are adorable and others think that we are full of diseases. One lady saw me and my sister playing chase, running after each other. She started yelling at someone to get a gun because we had to be diseased to be running around like that.

Adorable raccoon eats a marshmallow

Ms Cavendish: That must have been terrifying. What happened?

Ralph: Another lady came out, but she didn’t have a gun. She said, “Myrtle, you’re crazy. Can’t you see that they’re little raccoons having fun?” Then she made the other lady go inside.

Ralph: It turned out really well. The humans had a bonfire later, and we went back to thank the nice lady. She gave each of us something called a s’more. It’s 2 graham crackers with melted marshmallow and chocolate between them.They were really yummy.

Su Pallosu's cat beach is taking Sardinian tourism by storm - Traveling Cats

Tommy Tabby: Me next. We went to the beach.

Ms Cavendish: That’s an interesting choice for a cat family. Do you all like water?

Tommy: Not at all. I mean it’s great to drink, but don’t make me walk or play in it. My mom’s the same way.

Su Pallosu's cat beach is taking Sardinian tourism by storm - Traveling Cats

Ms Cavendish: So who planned the trip?

Tommy: My dad did. He says he didn’t notice all of the water. He wanted to go for the sun and sand. That part was really nice. But my little brother didn’t understand that it wasn’t an open-air litter box. We almost got kicked out when another guest saw him doing his thing. Mom was so embarrassed. She says we’re never going back.

Ms Cavendish: I can definitely see why she would be a little uncomfortable. Who’s next?

Labrador Retriever Group | Facebook

Lily Lab: We went to a family reunion in a place called Woofington.

Ms Cavendish: That sounds like a dog-friendly place.

Lily: We thought so too. But maybe a little too dog-friendly. My aunt had reserved a place in one of their parks for all of us. She was expecting 20-25 dogs. But the park is big, and it seemed like every Yellow Labrador family in the state was in Woofington. There were also lots of Chocolate Labs and Golden Retrievers.

Ms. Cavendish: That sounds like a lot of dogs.

Tibetan Mastiff Owner's Guide | Greencross Vets

Lily: My mom said that she had never seen so many dogs. We followed the directions to our site. She found her sister pretty fast. My aunt was really upset. Some other family had taken over the site.

Ms Cavendish: That’s awful. What happened?

Lily: Not long after we got there, Mom’s other sister arrived with her family, Aunt Shelly’s married to Steffo. He’s a Tibetan Master. He’s really sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But he’s huge and very protective of his family. He went to the alpha of the other family and suggested that they had made a mistake. They were really good about moving on.

_MG_1231 | A young grizzly bear and a coyote having a conver… | Flickr

Ms Cavendish: This is all very interesting. Anyone else want to share?

Kyle Coyote: We got kicked out of a national park. I don’t want to say which one because they might be looking for us.

Ms Cavendish: Oh my goodness! What happened?

Kyle: My family went to this park and wanted to camp. Did you know that some of those places are run by humans? We thought bears ran them all. Bears are cool to coyotes; humans are not.

What's All the Ruckus? Coyote Howling at Night.

Ms Cavendish: And the one you went to was run by humans?

Kyle: Yeah. Mom and Dad got into a huge fight when they found out. Mom won, so we decided to stay. But the guy at the entrance was kinda a jerk. He read all of the rules to us like we were too stupid to do it ourselves. We finally set up camp and ate. We were relaxing at night when we heard the call of the wild. Of course we had to respond. Several other coyotes joined in.

Ms Cavendish: That sounds wonderful.

Kyle: It was. Until the humans showed up and told us we were breaking the rules by making noise after 9 pm. He got into a fight with my dad who scented him. Then we got kicked out.

My favorite animal in i party hat, how cute!!

Ms Cavendish: This has all been a lot of fun. I’m sorry but we’re out of time. Any last thoughts?

Voice at the Back: Party with animals, not with humans.

Pets In School

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

19

Sgt Stripes, Therapist Extraordinaire

 

Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes here. Today, I’m going to show you what one of my therapaw sessions looks like! 

Many of you know that I provide emotional support for Blondie (and the other humans in the house). But recently, I expanded my services to support outside animals as well. I’ve decided to show the transcript of one of my recent patients, Rebecca Rabbit. (She has signed a consent form.)

Sgt Stripes: Rebecca, welcome to my office! It is so nice to meet you. What can I help you with?

Rebecca: Hi, Dr. Stripes. I appreciate you seeing me. I feel depressed. And sort of like I’m being watched all the time. I hope you can help me. 

Sgt Stripes: I would love to help you! Why do you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: Well, I feel really tired. I have no energy, nor do I have a desire to do anything. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, that’s normal. I sleep for up to 16 hours a day! What else makes you think you’re depressed? 

Rebecca: I feel sad a lot. I can’t stop worrying about the potential carrot shortage that comes with the winter. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, I’d be upset too if I had to eat carrots and veggies. You should try vole. Or ice cream. They’re delicious! 

Rebecca: Uh… I don’t eat meat. Or dairy. I’m more of a vegan. 

Sgt Stripes: Okay, yeah, I’d be really depressed if I were a vegan. 

Rebecca: Um… okay, well, I also feel like I don’t accomplish enough. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. Just use your good looks and charm to get you through life. Now, I know you mentioned feelings of paranoia. Can you go deeper into that?

Rebecca: Yes. It’s the oddest thing. We just had a family of coyotes move in next to us, and I swear I overheard them discussing a recipe for rabbit pie. And I think the dad watches our every move. I always catch him staring at me and my family. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, can you blame them? You do look rather delicious. 

Rebecca: That’s not helping! 

Sgt Stripes: Sorry, sorry. Please continue. 

Rebecca: My mom tried to encourage me to be friends with the baby coyotes, but they keep talking about a chasing game. And I don’t like being chased. I’d rather go berry picking. 

Sgt Stripes: Ooh, we could play Pounce! I love Pounce!

Rebecca: NO! No, thank you. I’m not really sure if this is going to work out…

Sgt Stripes: Well, I think this is going well. Why would you say otherwise? 

Rebecca: I feel like you see me more as a potential toy, or even meal, than a client. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, it’s not my fault you appear to be a meal or a toy. I’m just giving you advice based on how you present. 

Rebecca: I think this session is over. I really need to look into the therapy offered by the deer.

Sgt Stripes: Fine. But come back next week! I’ll teach you how to play Pounce! 

Rebecca: No. Thank you. 

Sgt Stripes: Fine. Well, it was really nice meeting you, Rebecca. Good luck in life.

Rebecca: Thanks, Sarge. Same to you. 

Don’t I make a pawsome therapawist? Let me know if you, or someone you know, could benefit from my services!