Tag Archives: accounting

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Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 2

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Large hairy yak carrying load close up, 2023

Where we are: The yaks who are part of the Beasts of Burden (BoB) union are currently working without a contract.They are the key to Santa’s logistical network doing the behind-the-scenes present delivery to Santa’s depots all over the world. The reindeer “last-mile” delivery on Christmas Eve is only possible because of the yaks’ hard work. The yaks are never mentioned because Santa feels it would take away some of the magic from Christmas. You can read about it here.

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The yaks’ contract with North Pole management expired in the middle of September. They have been working hard since then without a contract. The yaks are asking for more money in the form of a per-mile bonus, shelters and food in some of the more remote areas, and six paid holidays. Currently the yaks are paid an hourly rate with no other benefits.

Santa is getting nervous. He sets up a meeting with Herman Hoover, his accountant.

Dog accountant Pets with jobs | Premium AI-generated image

Santa; Herman, I just got a letter from Max Yak. He’s the head of the BoB. He says they’re going on strike if we don’t meet their demands for a new contract. Did you know about this?

Herman: Actually, I did. I’ve been talking with them for several weeks. Their requests are outrageous. They want us to build shelters for them if they have to deliver to the desert or the Arctic circle. That was part of the advantage in hiring yaks; they can adapt to almost any weather.

Yak | Wild Ox of Asia, Himalayas & Tibet | Britannica

Santa: They do a lot of work for us. It seems reasonable that they would need a place to rest once in awhile.

Herman: But what if someone finds out that they’re in the area on official North Pole business? It’s not as if a yak with a hundred Christmas presents is a common sight. We’re trying to get them in and out as quickly as possible. Next thing you’ll know is that they will want us to provide trains so they can travel in comfort.

Yak in a flat cap with a knapsack riding a train on Craiyon

Santa: They didn’t say anything about trains. I think that would be unreasonable. Definitely no trains.

Herman: I didn’t mean they were actually asking for trains. It was just an example of what might be next if we provide shelter.

Santa: What about this request for per-mile bonus. Don’t we already pay them for their travel.

Yak walking on footbridge amidst mountains at Sagarmatha National Park stock photo

Herman: We pay them a decent hourly wage. They want a bonus on top of that for every 250 miles they travel in a year. The bonus would be paid at the end of the year. It’s a ridiculous request. Their entire job is to travel; why would we pay them extra for doing the job they were hired to do?

Santa: Do we give the reindeer a holiday bonus?

Herman: That’s different. They travel the entire globe over a 24-hour period.

The Meaning of Lunar New Year, Also Known As Chinese New Year

Santa: What holidays do they want to be paid for?

Herman: New Years Day, Lunar New Years Day, Nepalese New Year, Summer Solstice, Winter Solstice, and Christmas.

Santa: They want three new years every year? Why would they want the Nepalese New Year off?

Herman: Yak Express is headquartered in Nepal.

Diamond Painting - Full Round - Christmas Yak(30*30cm)

Santa: It’s getting close to Christmas. We need to make sure the presents can all be delivered.

Herman: Don’t worry, the yaks won’t cancel Christmas. We’ve been working with them for years. They always get a little touchy when the contract needs to be renewed, but they sign in the end.

Santa: I’m not sure. I don’t remember it ever running into December before.

Yaks: The Eco-friendly Giants - A Sustainable Alternative in a Warming World

Santa’s phone rings and he picks it up. He ends the call with “Yes, I understand.”

Herman: What was that about?

Santa: That was Max Yak. If we don’t settle the contract by December 15, they’re going to strike.

How reindeer evolved to be Santa's perfect helper | BBC Earth

Herman: They should have most of the presents delivered by then. The reindeer will have to pick up the slack.

Santa: He also said they would tell everyone how Christmas delivery actually works.We need to fix this, Herman. I want to get the yaks and your team in a room and not leave until this thing is settled.

Every Negotiation is a Different Animal.

Next week: WIll negotiations work to save the magic of Christmas?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

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A Lesson in Economics

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I have been following the progress of the workers at McDonald’s trying to get the company to agree to pay a living wage. The company responded by posting a sample budget online showing how they could live on the wages they are currently getting paid. I thought the best part was the line item showing income from a second job. The budget is no longer available online.

I have no idea whether McDonald’s could afford to pay their employees more and still make a profit. However, the whole conversation made me think about life at Ralph’s (of course). The hourly pay scale tops out at $10/hour, with a couple of positions going to $11. The team leaders start at $10.50. Since it is a family-owned business, I can’t find out how much money the company makes.

So I’m trying fantasy economics (like fantasy sports, but less fun). Because I really hate math and accounting, I am not dealing with administrative and overhead costs, taxes, sales v. profit, or any of the other things that would actually make this a useful analysis. I am attempting humor after all, and it’s hard enough when you’re dealing with numbers.

The cheese I stock brings in an average of $6,000 – $8,000/day (insert joke about local bowel habits here). During the holidays and other busy times, it can earn twice that. I am the only employee in that section of the store. In the interests of fairness (probably the only time I will worry about it), I am going to use $7,000 as my basis. That equals $49,000/week or $2,520,000/year.

I wanted to have some type of comparison for the numbers, so I decided to look up some things that I could buy for $7,000.

I could get 3 pairs of Christian Louboutin Python pumps at Bergdorf Goodman ($1759 each). Unfortunately, I couldn’t wear them to work and I’m sure my friends wouldn’t know enough to be impressed.

Instead, I could get 3 Armina Aquamarine beaded necklaces ($1745 each). I really wish there was a Bergdorf’s around here. If I’ve calculated correctly, it would only take me 10 weeks to get the pumps and the necklace.

I could get 5 3.1 Phillip Lim Goat Fur satchel bags pink and black ($1395 each). Goats in New York must be different than the goats out here. Our goats come with hair not fur.

How about 12 Rebecca Taylor leather/ponte paneled dresses ($550 each)? I think it’s a regional thing. Even when I worked as a consultant, I would not have worn a $550 leather dress to work.

Every fashionable woman has heard of Hermes scarves. How about 6 cashmere and silk shawls ($1125 each). I would probably get toner on it the first time I wore it. You never hear about getting them cleaned.

If I went to Macy’s, I could get a nice 1 ct. t.w. diamond engagement ring. At $6900, it pushes the limits of the $7000, but it does come with a 15% discount. Of course, I’d have to figure out what to do with the old one (and explain to my husband why I needed to buy one for myself).

On a more humble note, I could get 700 dinners (mostacolli, lasagna, or chicken) at my local pizza place ($9.99 each). I might want to order a few less and get a few 2-liter bottles of Pepsi at $2.25 each. Besides I don’t know 700 people. And when my daughter eventually gets married, I imagine she probably will want something different for dinner.

So, I’m thinking that maybe raising my ceiling to $11/hour might be a financial possibility. Or more realistically, I should probably start buying lottery tickets.