Sgt Stripes is holding his first press briefing of the Thomas Tabby era. Things have not been going as smoothly as they had hoped, and there were a lot of questions.

Sgt Stripes: Greetings everyone. Welcome to the Tabocracy. I know that there are a lot of questions. Unfortunately, Thomas is not available this afternoon to take your questions directly, but I hope to be able to address your concerns. I would like to open the floor to questions.

Beagle: I’m Freddie from the Woofington Post. What happened to Remy, the Golden Retriever. I thought he was going to be the “outside voice” to make sure cats didn’t run everything solely for the benefits of other cats. We haven’t seen him since Thomas took office.

Sgt Stripes: Unfortunately, Remy has been sidelined with hip dysplasia. He recently had surgery and is healing well. We hope to have him back sometime next month.

Beagle: So there is no dog representation at the moment?

Sgt Stripes: We don’t want to replace Remy. He’s part of the team.

Otter: Sally from Mustelid Mirror: Is it true that Thomas has not had his first meeting with the humans yet? What is the delay?

Sgt Stripes: We wanted to make sure we have a strong case before we make any requests. Additionally, the humans have been sick with whatever gets to them in the cold weather. There’s been a lot of runny noses and coughing. Extremely unpleasant to be in the same room.

Otter: Follow-up question. What are the first things Thomas will present?

Sgt Stripes: Of course, we can’t guarantee what the humans will want to talk about. However, we are asking for bowls of water and kibble available at all parks and public spaces. One of Remy’s requests is for an end to leash laws. They are antiquated and unfairly enforced, mainly on dogs.

Tuxedo Cat: Clarice from KittyTown Courier. Do you have any idea what the humans will be bringing to the table? There’s a rumor that they will be asking for cuddle guarantees.

Sgt Stripes: There has been some talk of trying to find middle ground between the humans desire for cat affection and the cats’ natural inclination to be in control of all inter-species relationships. We are hoping that we can reach some sort of agreement on social interaction.

Tuxedo Cat: Is that strictly a human-feline issue?

Sgt Stripes: We believe so. Dogs do not seem to have the same need for personal space as we cats do. It’s a shame that the humans seem to want to be in control. No cat will allow that.

Mouse: Edgar from Rodent Review. We smaller animals have an issue with Thomas’ security team.

Sgt Stripes: I’m not sure what you’re referring to. Snoops is in charge of security.

Mouse: Snoops is rather aggressive in protecting him. There is a problem with all of you cats. You see my type of creature as a toy or even a snack.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t think that’s a fair accusation. We are working to make everyone more comfortable.

Mouse: We would like to see a smaller “prey” type animal on your team.We are not comfortable being represented by a predator type animal.

Sgt Stripes: I will take your concern back to Thomas.

Rabbit: Jonathan from Meadow Happenings. Where is Thomas? We rarely see him since the election.

Sgt Stripes: He’s dealing with some personal issues. He should be back soon.

Rabbit: Is it true that he’s separated from his wife because she’s tired of him never being home? Is that why he hasn’t met with the humans yet?

Sgt Stripes: I’m not in a position to answer those questions.

Snoops: Okay, everyone. No more questions. The briefing is over.

 Pictures courtesy of Google Images