AIU: Hibernation Havoc

Alaska Magazine | A sloth of bears, and other inventive names for Alaska  wildlife

The poster has written to the Am I Unbearable (AIU) forum to get some feedback on an issue he is having with his brother-in-law regarding sleeping arrangements for the upcoming hibernation season.

My darling partner Pamela (7f) and I (8m) have been together for several years. We are both successful in our careers. I am the spokes-bear for our local park system and Pamela is a technology whiz who works from home. We are the proud parents of two cubs, one of whom is still at home.

Grizzly bear photographed roaming near downtown Quesnel, B.C. | CBC News

A little background: I come from a very progressive family. We were early adopters of the movement to get bears out of the woods and into structured society. My grandfather was the first bear on the city council. He worked tirelessly to make our home town into a place where all animals could live together in peace.

Cuteness overload: brown bear cubs becoming best buds

I met Pamela during a sit-in protesting the use of “bear spray” by the police department. She was the most beautiful bear I had ever seen. She is a wondrous creature, gentle and soft-spoken. And really smart. I fell in love almost immediately, and we’ve been together ever since.

Pamela’s family still lives in the woods. They are very nice bears, just not interested in anything outside of their own world.

Hibernating bats have similar metabolism to that of hibernating bears

As you probably know, when bears become part of the “civilized” world, we lose some of our “bearness.” Most importantly to this issue is that we don’t do a full hibernation anymore. Because we don’t live outside, our bodies aren’t fully synced with the seasons. It’s more of a grogginess than a full sleep.

A Bedtime Story: How Nature and Nurture Help Grizzly Bears Hibernate | The  Maryland Zoo

Pamela’s younger brother Dave has been saying that he really wants to try doing a “semi hibernation.” I’ve explained that he doesn’t really understand what happens. He can’t just choose to not hibernate. He’s lived deep in the woods his whole life.

I didn’t know anything else, so I actually find it kind of weird that Pamela’s family disappears for five to six months every year. The first couple of years, she really struggled with the change. I don’t think Dave has any idea what he’s trying to do.

Angry Bear Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

Here’s where I might be Unbearable. Dave has asked to live with us for the winter. In fact, he wants to move in by the end of the month. He says that living with artificial light will make it easier to not fall into a deep sleep. I told him that I really didn’t want him to use our house as an experiment. Bears can get pretty unpleasant when they don’t get enough sleep.

🔥 This bear has reached peak boredom : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Pamela said that I should have talked it over with her before I told Dave that he wasn’t welcome. She thinks I’m a hypocrite for saying that I want bears to integrate more into the general population, but when her brother wants to try it I won’t help him. I don’t think Dave wants to integrate; I think he just wants to try something different.

1,000 Kilometers from the Coast, Bears Gorge on Ocean Fish | Hakai Magazine

We don’t eat as heavily in the fall as bears who do a full hibernation. Dave’s been power eating for the past month and isn’t showing any signs of slowing down. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to find enough to eat in town. We have a good pantry, but not enough for a full-grown male bears in hibernation prep.

Bears in the woods

Pamela’s family think that I don’t want Dave here because I look down on “woods bears.” They are saying that if I really think of them as family, I won’t mind having him stay here all winter. I’m more concerned with having a 400-pound grumpy male bear who isn’t getting enough sleep.

So, I’m asking your opinion. Am I Unbearable?

Final Frame: Brown Bear Greeting

Next week – see what the readers think.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

14 thoughts on “AIU: Hibernation Havoc

  1. Good question. Lots of things to consider but, yes, you should have shared your concerns with your parnter before speaking for the both of you. You might be sleeping in your own den!!!

    • That was unfortunate timing. It seems that my in-laws had spoken with Pamela about it, but she hadn’t said anything to me. Dave got impatient and came directly to me.

  2. guyz‼️ fun post two day and awesome uze oh de werd BEAR…eye think all bearz knead ta stay in de forezt, bee cuz peepulz them selvez get crazed when they see a bear, sew say if dave dee sidez ta head ta a burger joint in february…..wellllll….next thing ya noe de poe lease iz called and all hellz brake looze 🙀🙀happee week end 💚💙🐟😺‼️

  3. Pingback: AIU: Hibernation Havoc, Part 2 | Adventures in Cheeseland

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