Hi everyone! It’s Sgt Stripes. I’m here with one of my favorite tabby cats, Thunder! As you may know, Thunder was a frequent contributor to our blog until recently. I’m here to interview her and find out what’s been going on with her. 

Sgt Stripes: Hi Thunder! Long time, no talk. It’s been pretty quiet with just one tabby around here. 

Thunder: Hey Sarge! It has been a while since I last wrote… a lot has happened in my human’s life, which has affected me greatly. 

Sgt Stripes: So I understand. At least you’re still beautiful… almost as beautiful as me! 

Thunder: Thanks… I think. 

Sgt Stripes: So, what’s been going on? Can you give us an update? 

Thunder: Well, you should know most of it. After all, 3 of my 4 humans ended up with you. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, I noticed. I’m willing to keep Blondie, and probably the mini blonde human that gives me pets and tries to feed me. But you can have the other mini human back. He’s loud. And they’re both smelly. I don’t know why you let them touch you. 

Thunder: You get used to it. And you learn where all of the really good hiding spots are. But they also have a lot of stuff that comes in boxes or is good to nap on, so it balances out. 

Sgt Stripes: If you say so. So, what’s been going on? 

Thunder: Well, in September, both of the mini humans had a birthday. They’re kind of like Got You Days, except for the inferior species. And the older one, his birthday went pretty well. But the younger one… 

Sgt Stripes: Went not as well?

Thunder: Exactly. See, they both got cakes baked for them. The cake lasted more than one day, though, so the humans were eating it even after their birthdays. And on one of these days, the oldest mini human was tired, and not in the mood for cake. So he threw it on the ground. 

Sgt Stripes: He does that here sometimes, too. According to Snoops, he never gives anything good though. It’s usually pasta or fruit. 

Thunder: That sounds gross. After he threw the cake on the ground, the big humans started yelling. They yelled mostly at each other. They called it fighting. They’d been fighting a lot, especially over the past year. But I don’t know why they called it fighting when there was no hissing. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, humans are weird. 

Thunder: So they fought, and I just thought it was going to be another loud night. But then the next morning, they were still fighting. I tried to sleep through it. Human fights are boring. 

Sgt Stripes: Agreed. Most human activities are. 

Thunder: They went off to work like normal. Usually, when they went to work, they were gone for hours and hours. Sometimes I thought they’d gotten lost at the hospital they worked at. 

Sgt Stripes: It wouldn’t surprise me. Blondie has a horrible sense of direction. 

Thunder: Well, Blondie came home a few hours later. She told the babysitter that she had to take the mini humans and move in with her mom. That she and my human were getting a divorce. 

Sgt Stripes: That must have been the day my world got turned upside down. But I don’t get it. I’d rather have you than the mini humans. So how did I end up with two monsters and no tabbies? 

Thunder: Well, Onyx, Angel, Gypsy, and I were alone that night. And the night after. Apparently you live pretty far from me. Like, it would take hours to walk. It almost takes a full hour to drive. 

Sgt Stripes: That’s a long time to be stuck in a car. 

Thunder: Yeah. Well, a few days later, she came back with her brother (I think he’s your human). And she got Onyx, Angel, and even Gypsy. But she left me all alone. I was very sad. And lonely. And I wasn’t sure what was going on. 

Sgt Stripes: Yeah, she made the wrong choice. I think I’d like you better than at least Angel. And we could play Pounce! 

Thunder: Ooh, yeah. I love playing! But, as I’m sure you know, she didn’t take me. It turns out that I had to go with my human, and the other 3 had to go with their human (Gypsy didn’t really have a human, but the mini blonde human is really attached to Angel, and Blonde is really, really attached to Onyx). 

. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, if Gypsy didn’t have a human, couldn’t you two have stayed together? 

Thunder: No, there are… outside factors… that prohibited her from staying with me. 

Sgt Stripes: Is it her dilute coat? Snoops says that should disqualify her from being a calico. 

Thunder: No. It’s worse than that. I had to move in with two dogs.

Sgt Stripes: Dogs? Really? You poor thing!

Thunder: Yes, it’s been traumatic. Apparently, my human had to move in with his stepmother. And she has two dogs that have been here forever. The only good thing is, I get total run of the basement. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, that’s a bonus. But why did you stop writing? While I certainly don’t mind being the star tabby, I’m sure that people miss you. 

Thunder: And I miss them. But my publisher was Blondie, and she’s gone. She doesn’t even stop by to get new photos of me. 

Sgt Stripes: Speaking of that, Mr Google thinks you and I are the same cat. We should really talk to him. 

Thunder: Yeah, my tail is far superior. But without contact with Blondie, there’s no real opportunities for me to write for the blog anymore. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh. That’s sad, but that makes sense. Do you miss it? 

Thunder: Sometimes. I liked the people. And it was fun. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, maybe every so often, we can Zoom and do an interview. I like Zoom! 

Thunder: That would be pawsome! 

Sgt Stripes: Well, thank you for your time. Keep being beautiful, and I sure we’ll talk again in the future. 

Thunder: Thank you, Sarge. Keep the pawsome purrsonality.

Can you tell who is who?