Snoops: Hey Sarge! I have a bone to pick with your buddy, Mr. Google.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t know if he eats bones.

Snoops: It’s just an expression. I mean that he’s messing something up really badly.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google? I don’t think so. He knows everything.

Snoops: Well, he doesn’t know cats.

Sgt Stripes: He most certainly does. If you ask him to show you stuff about cats, he comes back with lots of articles. I bet it’s millions of them.

Snoops: All I know is that when Mom gets a “Spotlight on Snoops” in her pictures, there’s always at least one picture of another cat.

Sgt Stripes: Ooh that is weird. Someone else must take pictures of a different cat named Snoops.

Snoops: Are you being intentionally annoying? It’s not another cat named Snoops. It’s the other calico that Mom takes pictures of.

Sgt Stripes: You think Mr. Google can’t tell the difference between you and Gypsy? That’s ridiculous. He’s smarter than that.

Snoops: You’re right. I don’t understand it either. We don’t look anything alike.

Sgt Stripes: Well, you are both girl cats. And you both have three colors.

Snoops: We do not look alike. I’m a beautiful traditional calico with black, white and orange. She’s dilute – I’m pretty sure she’s grey, beige, and white. And her face is mainly one color all the way across. My face is split between all three colors.

Sgt Stripes: That doesn’t prove that Mr Google doesn’t know what he’s talking about. You guys must just look the most alike of all the cats Mom has pictures of.

Snoops: It’s embarrassing. I do not look like her.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s see what Mr Google has to say about calico cats. The first article says, “The calico cat is most commonly thought of as being 25% to 75% white with large orange and black patches; however, they may have other colors in their patterns.”

Snoops: So Mr Google says that I’m a true calico. It doesn’t say anything about cats with beige faces.

Sgt Stripes: Let me keep looking. It also says, “Dilute calicos have the same tri-colored coat that calicos have, but the dilute gene causes the colors to be muted and appear faded.”

Gypsy: Did I hear someone mention dilute calico? Here I am.

Sgt Stripes: Snoops was saying that Mr Google doesn’t know anything about cats because he mixed one of your pictures in with Snoops.

Snoops: Obviously we look totally different.

Gypsy: I agree. But I think he’s biased against dilute calico cats. I’ve been here for months and there’s never a “Spotlight on Gypsy.”

Sgt Stripes: That is a little bizarre. He loves me. I’m the chosen cat a lot.

Snoops: That explains why you like Mr Google so much.

Sgt Stripes: I guess that might be part of it. But I can find all kinds of great stuff with Mr Google. Like I found all kinds of cat videos. I like the rabbits and the string, but I could watch the birds all day.

Snoops: The rest of us don’t watch cat videos.

Gypsy: Actually I’ve never seen one. I might like it.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find toys and cat trees and all kinds of food.

Snoops: I think Mom might use Mr Google to help her with directions sometimes too.

Sgt Stripes: And you can find pictures of almost anything.

Snoops: Okay. Mr. Google might have some good qualities. But he really needs to learn how to identify cats. We are each unique beautiful creatures.