I recently saw a commercial that has Suri answering questions about AT&T’s mobile plans. For those of you living in a corner of the world that Apple has not yet conquered, Suri is the iPhone’s voice-activated digital assistant. She has a calm soothing voice that would drive me crazy.
The ad reminded me of the original ads for Suri. She was shown answering all types of questions: How far is the moon? Where’s the closest Thai restaurant? Is it going to rain tomorrow?
My car can tell me where the closest Thai restaurant is. What I really need to know is whether they have ever unintentionally poisoned someone. Or if anyone returns for a second visit. Or if it’s going to cost as much as a month’s rent.
If you ask five forecasters about the weather, you will get five different answers. What I would rather know is the percentage of the drivers in my area who turn into turtles when the pavement gets wet.
Of course there are other things that I think would be useful:
Who scheduled a concert the same night the football and hockey teams are in town and how do I contact them?
Who decided to put the male enhancement drugs next to the sleep aids in the pharmacy?
Where is one of the sixty-eight empty spots the sign outside the parking structure said were available?
When will it be safe to remove the mulch around my plants?
What time will I be able to pick someone up at the airport following the on-time flight that was actually a half hour early but held up on the tarmac for an hour and had its luggage mixed in with five other flights?
Which candidate is using more of those masked phone numbers to make calls to get my vote?
Who decided that sales calls could be blocked but political campaign ads could not?
What route are the salt trucks taking?
How long is the freeway really going to be down to one lane for construction?
What is the perfect gift for a bride and groom who obviously have no taste based on their (very expensive) registry?
What does a room freshener called Fiji smell like?
Does this dish contain black pepper? (I’m allergic)
Is the police car behind me just driving along or is it watching my driving?
Is the impossibly slow car in front of me turning off soon or should I go around?
Who is wearing half a bottle of cologne and what is it so I never get it by mistake?
Will this cold remedy actually make me feel better?
What is that horrible smell in the break room? Is it a person or food?
What niche does this blog fall into?
11 thoughts on “If I Had Designed Suri”
Lol! Loved the questions about the campagin callers and the cops.
Thanks! One time I had a sheriff’s deputy follow me for several miles. I was really nervous until I realized I was going to slow for him and he was waiting for a break in traffic to go around me. 🙂
While the ads make Siri sound great – and I admit it does sound useful -, I can’t quite get beyond the memory of reading Orwell’s 1984 and thinking the only thing he got wrong was the year.
It is really creepy. They all seem to have the same voice. It’s like there’s a colony of them.
Our GPS is useful, but she spends a lot of time recalculating … I suspect my husband intentionally gives her the final address without intermediate stops on purpose, just to make her recalculate.
We had the GPS when we went to Williamsburg. I think it got lost going to the site. It sent us in circles for awhile before I insisted on following the signs.
Ours has taken us through parking lots, before. More unsettling, once it tried to have us ford a canal…
Wow. You must have really upset it. 🙂
Tried to look like I knew what I was doing and intended to take the ‘shortcut’ over that grass strip….