I recently saw a commercial that has Suri answering questions about AT&T’s mobile plans. For those of you living in a corner of the world that Apple has not yet conquered, Suri is the iPhone’s voice-activated digital assistant. She has a calm soothing voice that would drive me crazy.
The ad reminded me of the original ads for Suri. She was shown answering all types of questions: How far is the moon? Where’s the closest Thai restaurant? Is it going to rain tomorrow?
My car can tell me where the closest Thai restaurant is. What I really need to know is whether they have ever unintentionally poisoned someone. Or if anyone returns for a second visit. Or if it’s going to cost as much as a month’s rent.
If you ask five forecasters about the weather, you will get five different answers. What I would rather know is the percentage of the drivers in my area who turn into turtles when the pavement gets wet.
Of course there are other things that I think would be useful:
Who scheduled a concert the same night the football and hockey teams are in town and how do I contact them?
Who decided to put the male enhancement drugs next to the sleep aids in the pharmacy?
Where is one of the sixty-eight empty spots the sign outside the parking structure said were available?
When will it be safe to remove the mulch around my plants?
What time will I be able to pick someone up at the airport following the on-time flight that was actually a half hour early but held up on the tarmac for an hour and had its luggage mixed in with five other flights?
Which candidate is using more of those masked phone numbers to make calls to get my vote?
Who decided that sales calls could be blocked but political campaign ads could not?
What route are the salt trucks taking?
How long is the freeway really going to be down to one lane for construction?
What is the perfect gift for a bride and groom who obviously have no taste based on their (very expensive) registry?
What does a room freshener called Fiji smell like?
Does this dish contain black pepper? (I’m allergic)
Is the police car behind me just driving along or is it watching my driving?
Is the impossibly slow car in front of me turning off soon or should I go around?
Who is wearing half a bottle of cologne and what is it so I never get it by mistake?
Will this cold remedy actually make me feel better?
What is that horrible smell in the break room? Is it a person or food?
What niche does this blog fall into?