typing | Adventures in Cheeseland

Hello! Sgt. Stripes here! I’ve been hard at work lately. My human sister, Blondie, has been working from home. And I’ve been getting to help her! Even better, I’ve also been able to attend therapy with her (she has anxiety and depression. She’d never make it as a cat). She made my formal title “Tummy Time Therapist with Office Management Requirements”. And it’s hard work! I’m going to share a typical day in the life in the workforce.

6:30AM:

This is when Blondie (and the mini humans) wake up. She gets them dressed and off to the day shelter, where they play and do art. Blondie calls it a daycare. But Snoops says it’s more like a shelter. I get to sleep through this, since I don’t do cars. Or mini humans.

7:45AM:

Blondie returns home. She gets our laptop out, and makes sure that it and our work cell are charged. She also gets her notepad ready. This is usually when I do my big kitty stretch and prepare myself for another strenuous day.

8:00AM:

Time to start work! We start by logging onto her email, her Teams (a Skype descendant), and her scheduling tool. I usually get to send a message to a few of her coworkers. Today alone, I said hello to the group chat (all 20 people!), the checkout person, and the echocardiogram coordinator, along with one of the medical assistants. Everyone loves my welcome messages!

8:10AM:

Once we say good morning to our team, we review our email. Blondie makes a lot of phone calls, but won’t start until 9. So I get to help send out letters to patients who didn’t show up for their appointments, schedule urgent add on surgeries, and review our load for the day. I’ve discovered this is best done by sitting on the keyboard of the laptop. That way I’m warm, and am close enough to the screen to see.

9:00AM:

Now I get to start helping with phone calls! Usually the morning calls go to patients who need a presurgical workup. I don’t actually talk to these people (it sounds pretty depressing, honestly). But I definitely do my part. I sit with one paw on Blondie while she types, and I make sure to sit on the phone cord. You know, in case the phone tries to escape or something. These calls usually take most of the morning.

12:00PM:

Lunch break! Usually Blondie goes downstairs and gets tea and a sandwich, but I get to chow down on kibble (or cereal. She eats cereal and we share sometimes). I’m hoping my employee of the year luncheon features vole. I really like vole, But after I eat, I usually use the facilities, stop by the scratching post, and get a nap in.

1:00PM:

Back to work! The afternoon is usually a little more interesting. We usually start by calling patients that need pacemakers or ablations. I really, really like this part. We have to email them a surgical packet, and I’m really good at adding attachments or screenshots. I discovered if you push a bunch of random keys all at once, the computer will do fun things! Blondie gets a little weird about this, though. I start on the computer, but usually end up on her chest. At least I still get to supervise.

3:00PM:

If Blondie has therapy, this is usually when it happens. I like to sit up by her head and meow at her therapist. He needs to know who the really important one is. Although they just talk a lot, which is boring. So I usually use this time to get some tummy rubs. Or jaw rubs. Or both. I just really love rubs.

4:00PM:

Therapy is over (finally). Unfortunately, that means my tummy and jaw rub session slows down, as well. But we get to start scheduling my favorite things: MRIs! These are really fun, because I can make the appointment move by laying on her mousepad. I also really like to interact with these patients. I’ll headbonk the phone, purr into the speaker, and rub the phone so Blondie drops it. These patients are usually more fun than our surgical ones. One time, I scheduled the MRI in the totally wrong year. But I don’t feel bad. It’s a complex system, and I’m still learning it.

5:00PM:

The day is over! Man, these days are exhausting. I usually try to persuade Blondie to stay and nap. She never does though. She has to go get the mini humans from the day shelter. So I help her put her items up (I love batting at the phone cord!) and then I usually protect her work case. It’s a really comfy spot to nap.

After work is over, I only have 15 hours to eat, bathe, play, groom, and relax. It’s quite stressful somedays! But I know my hard work is paying off! Although I think I’m going to request a pay raise and a really nice bonus this Christmas. Maybe some vole ice cream, and silvervine cereal. Hopefully your work days are just as productive!

Hi, everybody! Sgt Stripes here. Guess what! I have two new friends, one human and one feline. I was really lonely last week because my main human went to a place called Italy for 10 days and left me all alone (except for Mom and the new human/cats). I thought I had been deserted

Then one of the new kitties moved upstairs. I guess she was supposed to be locked in one of the bedrooms until the humans had a chance to introduce us, but she escaped. She must be pretty smart. Her name is Onyx. She’s a really pretty black cat. And she smells really good.

She seems kinda shy. We sat together for a little bit one day. The next day, I sniffed her again, and she seemed to get a little offended. She went under the bed. I guess I’m going to have to keep trying to charm her.

I think she might be a little intimidated because I’m a lot bigger than she is. But I’m patient, so I’m sure we’ll be spending more time together soon. She doesn’t hiss at me like Snoops does, so I think she kinda likes me.

I really like her human mom. Snoops says they used to call her Blondie. I don’t really know why. Her hair isn’t blonde. Snoops says it used to be. She’s their human sister, so I guess she’s my human sister now too. Although my main human is her brother. I don’t know. It’s all really confusing to me. For the purposes of identifying her, I guess I’ll call her Blondie too.

She’s the mom to the two small humans. I’m not sure about them. The one seems pretty okay. He comes in once in a while and wants to pet me. He’s pretty gentle. The little one is another story. He is so LOUD and he cries a lot when he’s tired. He scares me. I try not to go near him.

Back to Blondie. She’s working from home now. And she sends the kids away during the day. Snoops says it’s some kind of shelter, and she hopes they stay there one day. I’m not really sure what a shelter is, but Snoops says she used to live in one. Mom says it’s called a daycare, so I’m guessing they’re not allowed to stay there at night. When I told Snoops, she was pretty disappointed.

Anyway, Blondie has been working upstairs since Onyx moved up. And it’s pawsome. She lets me stay in the room with her ALL DAY. And she lets me help her work. She does some kind of medical office job. We talk to patients and work on the computer. The best part is that she does something called Zoom calls. I get to see people on the computer. My brother does those sometimes too. I love Zoom calls.

Yesterday I learned how to schedule patients for some kind of testing. It’s pretty cool. Blondie uses a lot of different computer programs, and I’m learning them all. I already know how to change programs and shut them down. Pretty soon I’ll be really good at this stuff and ready to learn something else. The best part is that when I get cold, she lets me cuddle up with her.

My regular human returned yesterday, so now I have all sorts of options. I can help him with his school work. (He’s in something called grad school. I’m not really sure what that is, but it seems to take up a lot of time.) He spends a lot of time on the computer too. Or I can keep helping Blondie. And of course, I have to spend time with Mom. I don’t want her to feel deserted.